This section covers some common issues people seek therapy for. While these reasons may be listed separately, in reality, many of them overlap with each other and are closely related.

At times, individuals come into therapy without a clear reason; all they know is that they are feeling overwhelmed and need to talk to someone. Conversely, others come in with one specific issue in mind, only to realise that as therapy progresses, new insights about themselves and other areas of focus come into view. 

There are even some who enter their first session having second thoughts about their decision to seek help: “Do I need therapy, or am I overreacting?”. These different scenarios are all plausible at the beginning of one’s therapeutic journey. Nonetheless, entering therapy with an open mind helps you explore new ideas, possibilities, and areas for self-growth.

In no particular order, here are some examples of issues people seek therapy for:

Stress

All of us have experienced stress at some point. There is eustress, or “good stress”, that helps us perform well. On the other hand, distress, or “bad stress”, can be overwhelming. It prevents us from functioning at our full potential. Different people will find different things stressful, to varying degrees. Common experiences include work related stress and stress from interpersonal conflict at home, work, or school.

Decision making

Making an important decision? Examples include career decisions, whether to stay in or leave a relationship, whether to relocate, and so on. Times like these can be confusing, with pressure from family and friends. Each of them has an opinion of their own. It can be helpful to discuss your thoughts with a neutral, objective therapist, who may help you identify what’s most important to you in the decision making process.

Coping with transitions in life

Most of us like staying in our comfort zones. When changes happen, whether by choice or not, adapting can be a challenge. For instance, a newly married individual might experience several changes simultaneously, such as moving into a new home, having to communicate with their partner, navigating relationships with the in-laws, and entering parenthood. Other examples of life transitions include having a pet for the first time, entering the workforce upon graduation, changing jobs or schools, relocating, retiring, and so on.

Grief and loss 

Mention this, and most of us think of someone losing a loved one. While most societies readily recognise the gravity of losing a loved one, we can grieve over many other losses as well. This is so even if they are unaware that what they are experiencing is essentially the grieving process. 

According to the Kübler-Ross model, the five stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Examples of other losses include the loss of one’s childhood home, the loss of a beloved pet, the loss of a romantic relationship or marriage, the loss of a previous lifestyle, the loss of a job, and the loss of good health.

Difficulty regulating one’s emotions

While we may not be able to control our emotions per se, changing how we respond to them can help us cope with life better. For example, an individual may feel angry during a heated disagreement with their partner. The anger itself is understandable, and normal. However, learning to regulate their emotions can make the difference between a healthy response (eg walking away calmly) and an unhealthy manner (eg yelling at their partner).

In addition, some may also think to themselves, “Do I need therapy if I am already on medication (eg antidepressants)?” The answer is simple: talk therapy and medication need not be mutually exclusive. In fact, a combination of both can possibly help you reconnect with yourself at a deeper level. While medication works to improve your mood and sleep cycles, therapy allows you to explore your thoughts and experiences more extensively.

Intrusive thoughts or overthinking 

It can be hard to fall asleep if your mind is busy running through the 1001 different possibilities of what your boss had in mind when they said, “That’s a lot of information you provided”. Was it a compliment? What if it meant that you’re a hardworking employee? Or could it mean that you were not concise enough? Worse still, perhaps that was a veiled way of insinuating that you’re not good enough. The horror! 

Reflecting about things that occurred over the course of the day is normal. However, you may want to see a therapist if you’re starting to lose sleep, your appetite changes, or the thoughts interfere with your relationships or daily tasks.

Communication difficulties 

This is a common reason people enter couples therapy. People often unknowingly get caught up in unhelpful patterns of communication which cause much difficulty in getting one’s point across, and in turn feeling misunderstood. A therapist helps to bring forth and highlight these communication patterns to individuals and couples and guide them to healthier ways of interacting with each other. Struggling with communication is also common among family members.

Addiction

People may seek therapy for addiction to smoking, drugs, sex, eating, or even coffee. Overcoming an addiction alone can be very challenging. In fact, it often takes some time before an individual recognises and acknowledges the addiction in the first place. Therapists who work with individuals experiencing addiction often receive additional training specific to addiction. If you are seeking professional help for an addiction, look for a professional therapist or psychologist who has sufficient training and experience in working with people struggling with addiction.

Self-improvement

There doesn’t always have to be a “problem” for someone to enter therapy. People also seek therapy to improve themselves, or to take preventive measures before things get worse. For instance, busy professionals may wish to find ways to incorporate self-care and coping strategies into their daily routine to prevent a build-up of stress. Others may wish to increase their assertiveness or boost their confidence in different aspects of life such as at work or home. 

Pretty similar to why people frequent the gym, isn’t it?

While the issues above provide a glimpse into what therapy is, it is equally important to take note of what therapy is not. Contrary to popular belief, therapy is not about a therapist giving advice to a client, a therapist making judgmental statements about what the client is doing that is “right” or “wrong”, or a therapist telling a client how to resolve their issues. 

In fact, most of the hard work that leads to progress is undertaken by the client, not the therapist. To find out more, read Signs of a Bad Therapist.