Is My Boyfriend Cheating? Watch Out for These 4 Signs of Infidelity

Cheating in a relationship can affect us in several different ways. 

Was it my fault? Am I not good enough? How can I change myself so my partner likes being with me?

The above are some of the questions we tend to ask ourselves – however, it’s important to remember that your partner cheating says less about you and more about them. 

If you ask yourself, “Is my boyfriend cheating?” or “How do I tell if my boyfriend is cheating on me?” and struggle to find the right answers – this article is for you.

In this article, we share the signs of cheating in a relationship and provide tips and advice that you can use if you suspect that your partner is cheating on you. 

You can also consider seeking couples therapy in Malaysia if you and your partner wish to rebuild trust and connection together.

Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy and supportive relationship. Regardless of whether it is a monogamous or ethical non-monogamous relationship, you deserve partners who value and love you for who you are! 

What Are the First Signs of Cheating? 

Cheating takes a toll on our mental health and affects the way we interact and seek new relationships in the future. 

Cheating or infidelity is when a partner is unfaithful and causes mistrust, tension, or instability in relationships.

When someone cheats, it’s not only about physical intimacy. For example, cheating can take several forms, such as:

• Physical
• Emotional
• Psychological

If your partner texts someone without your knowledge and engages in an elaborate romantic conversation with them, it would be emotional cheating. 

People tend to cheat for several reasons. Some of the common reasons include:

• Lack of physical intimacy in the current relationship
• Lack of emotional availability
• A need to seek thrills or adventure
• A lack of connection or bond with the current partner

A person can cheat explicitly or in a more subtle way. For example, manipulating a partner and telling them that they’re not good enough and then spending time with someone else, could indicate narcissism. 

On the other hand, texting or engaging in physical contact with someone without the knowledge of a partner is a more subtle way to cheat.

Below are some of the first signs of cheating:

• Suddenly becoming more distant
• Showing less interest in physical intimacy with the current partner
• Refusing to spend time with the partner

The signs may seem like they’re connected to some other person’s problem, which could be the case. However, if the signs persist for a long time (eg more than a week or two), you may want to initiate a conversation about the same.

How to Tell if My Boyfriend Is Cheating On Me?

In this section, we will discuss some red flags or signs that could indicate that your boyfriend might be cheating. We will also explore why placing some confidence in your partner is important and how to approach the situation with care and empathy. Although these points focus on infidelity in a boyfriend, it is still relevant to people of all genders. 

a) Your Gut Feeling

Red Flag: As much as we do not want to believe it, sometimes our gut tells us that something is not quite right in our relationship. Even though it is not proof of cheating, that feeling of unease can be hard to shake. 

For many people, the initial indication of cheating is a feeling that something is amiss. In this case, you may subconsciously note other subtle signs of infidelity that may have contributed to your gut feeling. 

Benefit of doubt: While your intuition may tell you something is off, it could be wrong. So, how do you tell the difference? Perhaps your partner is dealing with stress at work, causing them to act differently. Have you tried talking to them about it? 

What to do: If your gut feeling persists, it can often be more right than wrong. If you have a hunch that something fishy is going on, pay attention to other signs that could confirm or disprove your suspicion. Try to avoid being confrontational or accusatory. Instead, express your concerns and let your partner know that the relationship is not meeting your needs.  

b) Mood Swings

Red Flag: If you have been wondering, “Is my boyfriend cheating on me?” Here are some signs to look out for. If you notice that your partner is getting irritated with you, even for the most minor things, it could be a sign that they are cheating. 

They become defensive and nervous when you inquire about their recent activities. They might be taking out their frustration on you, or they might be pushing you away. 

Benefit of doubt: Of course, there could be other reasons why your partner is easily irritated. Maybe they are worried about something going on in their life. They could also be planning a surprise for a special occasion and trying to keep it a secret. Before jumping to conclusions, it can help to have an honest discussion with your partner about what is going on and how you can support each other. 

What to do: If your first thought about their mood swings is, “I think my boyfriend is cheating on me,” then it is better to process that thought. To do this, you can gather more information by paying attention to your boyfriend’s behaviour. Then, approach the topic calmly and non-judgmentally, share your feelings, listen to their perspective, and see if they have a reasonable explanation for their mood swings. 

c) Your Friends and Family Notice a Change

Red Flag: If your friends notice something wrong with your relationship dynamic, it could be worth paying attention to their concerns. Your partner may be displaying behaviours that are out of character or acting more suspicious than usual around them. 

Cheaters often experience feelings of guilt. As a way to justify their actions to themselves, they may try to make their partner look bad. Some may even try to start fights or create a hostile environment to achieve this.

Benefit of doubt: Perhaps your boyfriend feels uncomfortable around some of your friends for personal reasons, or you might not have the complete picture of what is happening. 

What to do: Do you still think you are in an unhealthy situation? Or that your boyfriend is cheating in the relationship? If that is the case, try to ask your partner about the behaviour your friends have noticed and see if they have an explanation. You can also talk to your friends and get more details about their observations. If nothing works, consider seeking advice from a professional counsellor to help you work through these issues. 

d) Technology Changes

Red Flag: In today’s digital age, cheating has become easier due to the widespread availability of technology. A common sign to look out for is when your boyfriend starts being overly sensitive with their electronic devices. For example, they might have a second phone or email account you know nothing about. It could be a red flag if they start taking calls in private and seem defensive when you get close to their gadgets. 

Benefit of doubt: Your boyfriend might prefer to have privacy over what he does and who he contacts, and there is nothing wrong with that. 

What to do: While it is natural to feel curious, snooping is a breach of trust that could damage your relationship. Instead, consider talking to your partner and expressing your concerns in a non-accusatory way. Ask them to show you the messages or explain why they are being secretive. If they are unwilling to be transparent, it may be time to question their response.