Tips for Building a Healthy Relationship

Wanting to maintain a healthy relationship is a great sign. Your need means that you value your relationship and are willing to put in the effort! 

A healthy relationship is about ensuring both people feel happy, valued, and connected.  

In this article, we share some simple pointers you can focus on and 5 important tips for maintaining a healthy relationship.  

In addition to the tips discussed here, couples therapy is a safe space where you can work on building a healthy relationship with your partner.

Introduction to TYHO

Our platform connects clients to vetted and experienced Therapists in Singapore who are well qualified in providing couples counselling - both in-person as well as online therapy. A majority of our Therapists are members of recognised bodies such as the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC) and the Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). If you'd like help with selecting someone suitable for relationship counselling, WhatsApp us at +65 9831 0005 or email us at [email protected].

How to Build a Healthy Relationship?

Firstly, you can ask deep questions to get to know your partner. Try to understand if they want the same things as you.  

Gaining an understanding of your partner’s needs can help you develop realistic couple goals.  

The next step is to focus on the pointers below based on your needs: 

• Trust usually takes time to build. If your bond lacks trust, show your partner that you are reliable and are willing to care about them as much as possible.
• It is also important to share your thoughts and feelings honestly. Remember that we cannot be honest all the time. The goal here is to make sure you both get a chance to share your feelings without being judged.
• Sometimes, you might not agree on everything. That is okay. Try to find a middle ground with your partner so both of you feel okay with the outcome.
• Focusing on your hobbies is just as important as spending quality time with your partner. Hence, support your partner in what they love doing, even if it is quite different from your interests! 

5 Tips for a Healthy Relationship

All types of bonds have their ups and downs. Hence, regardless of anything, your relationships may require work, commitment, and the willingness to change with your partner.  

Whether you are in your first relationship or have been together long-term, you can follow some simple steps, such as booking a couples counselling session, to build a healthy relationship.  

1) Communicate Openly

Open communication is key to building a healthy relationship.  

Communicating could mean sharing your thoughts and feelings honestly and making the other person feel heard.  

Based on your partner’s love language, you can show love by affirming their thoughts or spending time together to truly understand their thoughts.  

Below are some tips for communicating openly: 

• Be clear and direct when you are talking about your feelings. For example, if you are upset, instead of giving them the ‘silent treatment’ or avoiding conversation, let them know that you are sad and need some space to collect your thoughts.
• Listen actively. During a conversation, pause and reflect on what your partner is saying.
• Try to avoid having conversations when either of you is angry or tired. Give yourself some space to rest, and then talk about your feelings.
• Respect each other’s opinions. You might not always agree with your partner, but take time to understand their point of view.  

2) Listen Actively

Active listening can help build a strong relationship.  

Listening actively means paying attention to someone’s words. Make sure you look at your partner when they are speaking.  

However, there are many ways to listen actively—not everyone is comfortable with eye contact or direct body language.  

Active listening is about making the other person feel valued and understood – and that could mean different things in different types of relationships. 

Hence, the previous point, communicating openly, can also help. 

Let your partner know that you are listening. For example, if you tend to look elsewhere while focusing on a conversation, reassure your partner now and then that you are there and listening to them.  

When your partner shares something with you, show you understand. You can do this by repeating back a bit of what they said, like, “So, you’re upset because I forgot to ask your opinion?”  

Asking questions is also important. But make sure your questions help you understand them better, not make them feel like you are questioning or checking their answer. A good question could be, “Why do you feel that way?” 

Active listening and communication are skills you may also learn during counselling sessions as couples. 

Hence, we encourage you to book a counselling session if you're particularly struggling with issues such as miscommunication or conflicts. 

3) Create Healthy Boundaries

Creating healthy boundaries can help build healthy relationships. 

Boundaries focus on personal space, respect, and mutual understanding. It is about what you can do to protect your space and not about what you want the other person to do! 

To set clear boundaries, express your needs to your partner. Let them know what is important to you and how you would like to receive it.  

For example, if you prefer private time every day, let your partner know that you would like to take time out every night for yourself.  

Remember, boundaries should be flexible. What you or your partner want may change depending on situations, needs, and your dynamics. 

Hence, be open to revisiting your boundaries occasionally to ensure that both of your needs are being met.  

If you find that you struggle to set boundaries on your own, reaching out to a psychologist or counsellor in Singapore can be helpful. They may use evidence based strategies and tools to gradually guide you towards setting healthy boundaries more easily.

4) Spend Quality Time

Spending time together can help maintain the relationship even when life gets busy. 

Try to actively make some time to meet your partner if you live away from each other.  

Make sure to spend quality time together regularly. Couples therapy in Singapore can also help you set goals for your relationship. 

Find activities you both enjoy. For example, you can pick up a hobby, take dance classes, or walk together every night.  

Trying new things together can keep things exciting and help you learn more about each other! 

Most importantly, try to have fun together. The joy in everyday life can help create a strong and healthy relationship!

5) Give and Take

To build a healthy relationship, you may want to ‘give’ and ‘receive’ equally. This could mean giving love, support, energy, care, attention etc.  

Firstly, talk to your partner about what they like and what values are important to them. Share your thoughts and concerns as well. 

Secondly, giving and taking in a relationship should not be a ‘game’ to be won. Remember that sometimes it is okay if either is more than the other! 

Lastly, remember to use magic words (eg thank you or sorry) when necessary, especially if your partner values affirmation and honesty.  

Many people tend to believe the common myth that couples therapy is only for relationships that are struggling. In reality, therapy can also equip you with proactive relationship skills, allow you to get to know each other's love languages better and bring you closer as a couple.