A person on the couch thinking about switching therapists in Singapore.

What truly makes the therapy experience effective is identifying good professionals, and conversely, knowing when to find someone better. 

Sometimes, the signs to switch therapists are clear. But what happens when you’re in the grey: The sessions aren’t too bad, but they’re also not…great?  

Hence, in this article, we’re delving into the green and yellow flags of the professional, as well as how to change and find new therapists in Singapore.  

The Therapy Experience

Therapy, at its best, is a space where you learn how to advocate for yourself. As it turns out, this means that the therapist is not the only person speaking during sessions.  

Instead, you explore your own thoughts, speak up for yourself, request things you need (emotionally or otherwise), and make empowered decisions about the type and intensity of care you receive.  

Here’s an example of self-advocacy in therapy:  

Purple, a 24-year-old woman with social anxiety, finds a new therapist in Singapore. To help Purple manage symptoms, the professional recommends trying out exposure therapy. During exposure therapy, Purple may be exposed to certain situations or triggers that are causing the anxiety. The entire approach is done in a safe and controlled manner.  

However, Purple struggles to improve even after attending six therapy sessions. Exposure is making their symptoms worse, and directly facing the triggers has a negative impact on Purple’s work life. To better suit their preferences, Purple opens up about their discomfort and explains that the negative impact of this particular approach on their work is disproportionate to the positive effects on their overall life.  

By advocating for themselves, Purple used their voice and made a conscious choice in their therapy experience when they realised things weren’t going the way they wanted.  

Green Flags of Therapists in Singapore

How do you know when things are working out for you in therapy?  

To understand if you’re talking to a good therapist in Singapore, you may want to look out for some common themes. These are listed below: 

  • You feel the therapist’s presence: This means that you don’t need to explain yourself twice (unless probed deeper) or provide a context every time you talk about your presenting problems.  
  • You sense unconditional support: Even when you feel challenged or pushed out of your comfort zone, you’re able to sense that it’s from a place of growth, rather than discomfort.  
  • Your therapist adapts: You feel supported and aligned with your therapist. The pace and intensity of the sessions change depending on your values and goals, rather than being based on what the therapist thinks is best for you.  
  • You feel valued: The therapist takes your feedback sincerely, and you’re starting to open up more during sessions.  

Now, let’s focus on the yellow flags: the moments that actually indicate your desire to change therapists.  

A therapist in Singapore and client during a talk therapy session.

Yellow Flags: 3 Signs You May Need a New Therapist

A yellow flag is an opportunity; a sign where you can pause and decide whether you want to take a chance (ie leaning into the therapy process is beneficial to you) or make a change.  

Not all yellow flags are obvious. Sometimes, you may feel a vague sense of disappointment or discomfort. Other times, the sign is clear enough for you to make a firm decision.  

If you’ve noticed a yellow flag and are unsure how to proceed, look out for conversational prompts below that may help you self-advocate during therapy! 

1) Dissatisfaction

After therapy sessions, you leave feeling disappointed, and like your therapist in Singapore doesn’t ‘get’ you. Perhaps the conversations fall short, or the insights are generic.  

At first, you may dismiss it. But eventually, the dissatisfaction grows and change becomes stagnant.  

For example, you wanted to improve your bond with your partner, yet you continued to have the same arguments you had six months ago. Maybe you’ve been trying to reduce work-related burnout, yet even after 12 therapy sessions, you feel exhausted and unable to improve your work life.  

Below are some thoughts you may think that could potentially indicate a yellow flag: 

  • My therapist is nice, but it’s actually like talking to a friend.’ 
  • ‘Somehow, I never get the chance to talk about something that’s been on my mind for a while.’ 
  • ‘Nothing’s really working out here. Why do I keep showing up to sessions?’ 

Conversation prompts to try with your therapist

  • Can we take a session to go over what we’ve been working on and whether it’s helping? 
  • I’m not sure I’m making much progress. Can we talk about whether we should change the therapy type, goals, or the roadmap?  
  • Sometimes I leave sessions feeling unsure about what we accomplished. Can we structure them a bit more? 
  • Would you be open to adjusting our approach to better suit how I learn or process things? 
  • I’ve been thinking about trying a different therapy style. Can we talk about what other options exist? 

Your next action plan: Remember that you only need to advocate for yourself, but you’re not responsible for actually making therapy ‘work’. Try to show up to sessions, note down what isn’t working, and let your therapist in Singapore guide you. It’s okay to change therapists if the results aren’t satisfactory.  

2) Hesitation

You started therapy with something particular in mind. You think about bringing it up during every session, but something’s holding you back. 

Even after 3-4 sessions, you either shut down or are distracted by other areas explored by the therapist.  

For example, let’s assume Sarah sought therapy to address childhood trauma and bullying. However, she often ends up talking about other daily stressors like procrastination or lack of confidence. Sarah struggles to trust the therapist in Singapore and is unable to find a solution to overcome her hesitation.  

Below are some examples of what hesitation may look like in therapy:  

  • I want to talk about this, but I’m not really sure if the therapist will understand.’ 
  • ‘The therapist probably thinks I’m too much. I should just keep this to myself.’ 
  • ‘I feel like I always dodge the actual problem and talk about random things instead.’ 
  • ‘I’m not even sure if I can trust the therapist with this information.’ 

Conversation prompts to try with your therapist

  • I notice I hold back during sessions. Can we talk about why that might be? 
  • I find it hard to bring up certain topics. How can we address those during sessions? 
  • Sometimes I feel like I need more emotional support. Can we explore what that could look like? 
  • There are some things that I haven’t previously discussed. But I feel like these are the topics that indicate an actual problem. Whenever I try to bring it up, I shut down instead. Is there any way we can navigate this together?  

Your next action plan: It’s normal for you to be hesitant at the beginning of therapy. However, it can become a yellow flag if it continues even after several sessions. If you get stuck because of hesitation, try not to be too hard on yourself. Jot down your thoughts in a written format and email the therapist. If, after all this, you still struggle to open up, you may want to consider other options like art or group therapy.  

3) Boredom or Lack of Motivation

Therapy sessions feel boring or repetitive. You’re not excited or motivated to make changes in your life.  

If a session feels particularly challenging, your first instinct might be to cancel or postpone rather than sit with the discomfort and work through it.  

For example, if you find yourself feeling bored, you might disengage and only respond to your therapist in Singapore when prompted. At times, you might also fall into the trap of trying to be a ‘good client’ (ie thinking that means not questioning the process or avoiding difficult conversations).  

Ironically, skipping a session can feel like a relief, even if part of you knows that the emotional discomfort might lead to a positive change.  

Here’s how boredom can show up: 

  • ‘I already know how this session will go.’ 
  • ‘Every week feels the same.’ 
  • ‘I’m not getting anything new out of this.’ 
  • ‘Maybe I’ve outgrown this process.’ 

Conversation prompts to try with your therapist

  • Can we try something different during sessions? I think I need to work with new tools to keep things exciting.  
  • I feel like I need to go back to the basics; something doesn’t seem to be working for me. Can we revisit my therapy goals? 
  • Are there alternative tools or exercises we can incorporate to make therapy more engaging? 
  • I’m finding it hard to finish my therapy homework and follow through with the therapeutic approaches. Can we explore why that might be happening? 

4 Tips to Switch Counsellors

1) Talk To Your Current Therapist in Singapore

While addressing the topic of finding a new therapist in Singapore can feel uncomfortable, the change can be rewarding.  

Many professionals are trained to navigate and deal with the change. Hence, all you need to take the first step is to be honest with your current therapist.  

Here’s a prompt to help you initiate the conversation:  

I appreciate your inputs during therapy, and a lot of the tools have helped me in my life. I’m thinking of continuing sessions with someone else who might be a better fit for my needs right now. I’m specifically looking to work with someone who has experience in [therapy type] and can help me with [specific problem]. Would you be able to help me with the transition?’ 

If you’re having trouble switching therapists at TYHO, reach out to us at [email protected] 

A client sharing their thoughts during therapy in Singapore.

2) Journal

Before you start the search for a new therapist in Singapore, you may want to journal your thoughts, presenting problems, and therapy goals.  

Journaling can also be used to reflect on what didn’t work for you with the previous therapist and what you’re looking for in the new professional.  

Below are some prompts for you to try:  

  • When did I feel most supported in therapy? 
  • What was one of the best things about my previous therapist?  
  • What was one thing that made me feel uncomfortable with my therapist? 
  • What am I hoping for from a new therapist? 
  • What kind of approach or energy do I need right now? 

This step is especially helpful if you’ve never worked with more than one therapist before. 

3) Explore Therapy Options

Similar to reflecting on your therapy goals, you may also want to research the types of therapy available. 

Worry not, your new therapist in Singapore will brief you on the types and benefits of each therapeutic approach. However, it can be helpful to educate yourself. After all, you are the best judge of what works best for you.  

Once you have an idea of the different types, you can bring it up during the first therapy session and discuss the pros and cons with the professional.  

Below are some ways you can explore therapy options: 

  • Use Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO) to filter by language, therapeutic approach, specialisation, and availability. 
  • Think about your preferences: Do you want someone who’s trauma-informed? LGBTQ+ affirming? Familiar with corporate burnout? 
  • Consider logistics: Do you prefer online or in-person sessions? How frequently would you like the sessions to be scheduled? Are you planning to book sessions as and when you require them, or do you prefer to buy them in bulk? 

4) Prepare for the First Session

Your first session with the new therapist in Singapore does not have to be scary. Preparing for it beforehand can give you clarity on what you want to discuss.  

For example, try to prepare the following information before your first session: 

  • A brief summary of why you left your last therapist (optional) 
  • What do you hope to focus on now 
  • Any specific concerns or themes you want to explore 
  • Your expectations for the new therapist and the pace/type of therapy 

Our Final Word

Change is sometimes the best progress you can make.  

You deserve someone who makes you feel safe, understood, and empowered.  

So if you’re thinking about changing therapists, visit our app here: https://app.talkyourheartout.com/ 

Book a session with a qualified Therapist today!

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