Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT)

What Is Emotion-Focused Therapy?

EFT, or emotion-focused therapy, is a therapeutic approach that helps us understand and manage our emotions and improve our emotional intelligence and mental resilience.

Two psychologists, Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg, developed EFT in the 1980s. EFT focuses on the concept that emotions play a key role in developing our individual identities and interactions.

Emotion-focused therapy can be used to help individuals, couples, families, and children during therapy sessions.

Core Idea of EFT

The core idea of EFT is to help clients identify and change their maladaptive behaviours. One can do this by becoming self-aware and developing healthy interpersonal relationships.

If you are a couple, your couples counsellor in Singapore may use EFT to understand the dynamics of your relationship and set realistic goals. You and your partner will recognise and address negative patterns that cause conflicts.

Similarly, your family counsellor may help you heal your relationships by improving emotional availability and responsiveness in a family setting. 

How Does EFT Work?

EFT therapy helps people understand and use their awareness to improve overall wellbeing.

When you receive EFT from a counsellor, you will have a ‘map’ to identify your emotions and find ways to feel better and connect with others.

The essence of EFT is that the key to a happier life is knowing what we feel and why we feel a particular way.

During EFT counselling, you may be talking a lot about your feelings. With your counsellor’s help, you will narrow down your triggers and reach the root cause of your emotions.

You will learn how to be present in the moment and deal with feelings as and when they come.

In other words, you may become the ‘detective’ of your own emotions. EFT also shows that it is okay to be emotional, feel and express all kinds of emotions, including anger and frustration.

Moreover, during EFT therapy, you will also address your interpersonal relationships. EFT during couples therapy also teaches that strong relationships can make you feel secure and valued.

Emotion-focused therapy can improve the intimacy, affection, and trust in your romantic and platonic bonds by focusing on your interactions and communication styles. 

Emotionally Focused Therapy Techniques

EFT has three main stages to create positive change in your life.

TYHO online counsellors can help you through each stage and use them as a guide to improve your life and overcome mental illnesses. 

1) De-Escalation

The de-escalation technique in EFT helps people understand why they argue with their loved ones.

To de-escalate a negative thought (ie to prevent it from getting worse) is to efficiently reframe them to handle conflicts.

Knowing these negative patterns lets you identify how your worries affect your behaviour.

For example, if you constantly think that something is wrong with you (ie negative emotion) – do you often project this feeling onto your relationships? (ie conflict).

By understanding why and how you make such unconscious decisions, you can overcome your insecurities and fears that affect your relationship.

Your partner may view negative behaviour (ie blaming or being unable to control anger) as ‘protests of disconnection’.

Through emotion-focused therapy, your counsellor will help you:

• Be emotionally available
• Become empathetic
• Handle problems easily
• Strength your affection and love

2) Restructuring

In the second stage of EFT, known as restructuring, you may learn how to change how you interact, react, and connect with others.

Restructuring helps you identify and change unhelpful patterns. Through therapeutic exercises, you may reach the root causes of your emotions and learn how to use them to your advantage.

Consistent practice can help increase your emotional intelligence. You will begin to articulate your feelings clearly and listen actively to your loved ones.

During marriage counselling, you may also learn how to be vulnerable with your spouse and stand up for yourself and the needs you expect from the relationship.

3) Consolidation

In the third and last stage of EFT, consolidation is key.

Here, you will learn to maintain healthy habits while including newer practices in your daily life.

Your counsellor will help you notice how you’ve changed and how to use these changes in your everyday life.

This step mainly ensures that your skills last long and your progress continues to benefit you in your personal and professional relationships.

What to Look for in an Emotionally Focused Therapist

When looking for an EFT Therapist or psychologist, start by checking their license and specific training in emotion-focused therapy.

You can review each Therapist’s full profile by clicking on the profile icon. Here, you will find information about their:

• Therapeutic experience
• Educational background
• Research interests
• Expertise
• Issues they can help with
• Therapeutic approaches they use
• Languages they speak

Look for someone who has previously worked with people who had issues similar to yours.

Some people prefer their counsellors to have good experience, while others care more about their qualifications, gender, and so on.

Hence, try to prioritise what qualities you need from an EFT Therapist. Shortlist the profile based on your list.

Good EFT counsellors are great listeners. Your counsellor should be able to identify the root of conflicts and help you see things from a fresh perspective.

To choose a counsellor who meets your needs, try to have a few initial counselling sessions with them.

If you do not feel comfortable with the counsellor, you can change and book a session with someone else!

Visit our Singapore counselling page to find someone and read more about our services!