Grief Counselling in Singapore
Grief is an emotion we experience when we lose someone or something we love. How you experience grief is shaped by your cultural roots, personality, life situations, beliefs, and more.
Although a very common emotional response to loss, grief can sometimes consume you entirely – which may then negatively affect your life. For example, you may avoid seeking new relationships or becoming avoidant in your current ones.
Hence, at TYHO, we help you with grief counselling in Singapore so that you can cope better with loss and feel less lonely during a vulnerable stage of your life.
What Is Grief Counselling?
At TYHO, Therapists in Singapore provide grief counselling to help you understand and manage your emotions while grieving.
During therapy sessions, your Therapist will equip you with therapeutic modalities, such as acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT), to help you accept your complicated emotions without altering them, focus on your own values, and cope with your feelings in a healthy way.
For example, your Therapist may use a tool called ‘cognitive diffu sion’ in ACT, where you may be guided to create space between yourself (ie as a person) and your thoughts (ie what you think).
Your sessions may begin by building rapport with your Therapist. Actively focusing on developing a positive relationship with your Therapist can help set the foundation of therapy.
Additionally, a strong therapeutic alliance can also assure you to share your thoughts in an empathetic environment.
You may be encouraged to share all the thoughts and emotions that accompany your grief. For example, other emotions you may feel during loss could include sadness, anger, guilt, frustration, and confusion.
Try to talk about your experiences as much as you can, as that would provide your Therapist with a complete picture.
You can seek support from TYHO counsellors in Singapore for all kinds of loss, such as bereavement, quitting a job, experiencing heartbreak, or losing a friendship.
Symptoms of Grief
Unresolved grief can lead to feelings of anxiety, depression, and listlessness (ie lacking energy).
If grief is not given a healthy avenue of expression, it can result in detrimental habits or reliance on unhealthy coping strategies.
Some of the common symptoms of grief are:
The Stages of Grief
TYHO counsellors trained in grief management can help you work through the stages of grief. Learning about how your grief works through tools and techniques could help you handle the associated stressors.
Psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross originally outlined the stages of grief. It serves as a framework to help individuals understand the grieving process.
These stages are not linear, and you may experience them in a different order or even revisit them over time. The stages are as follows:
The Different Types of Grief
You may experience several different emotions after losing a loved one or after losing something important in your life.
There are different types of grief, and each could represent unique challenges based on the kind of loss. Read this section to understand more about the types of grief.
1. Complicated Grief
When you have a long-term emotional distress (eg sadness, frustration, anger) that affects the way you live your life, you may have complicated grief (also known as persistent complex bereavement disorder).
If you have complicated grief, you may find it hard to engage in regular activities such as eating well, cooking for yourself, maintaining hygiene etc.
Complicated grief, as the name suggests, is often quite complex. Grief counselling could help you learn how to cope and manage your emotions.
At TYHO, counsellors in Singapore are skilled in approaches such as interpersonal therapy and can help you better understand your responses to grief.
Some common signs of complicated grief include:
- Feeling hopeless
- Struggling to remember pleasant memories of the loss (eg either a loved one or a cherished memory)
- Avoiding things and situations that remind you of your loss
- Lacking an understanding of yourself and your emotions
- Withdrawing or isolating from friends and family
- Lacking the motivation to work or pursue interests
2. Traumatic Grief
Trauma occurs when you go through something stressful, frightening, or distressing. Trauma can be either emotional, psychological, or physical (eg physical abuse or violence).
Traumatic grief, on the other hand, occurs when you suddenly and violently lose a loved one. For example, losing someone in an accident or due to a hate crime (ie harming someone due to their race, religion sex, or gender) could cause traumatic grief.
Your emotions may be intense and magnified by the shock and trauma surrounding the incident.
At TYHO, Therapists may use trauma-informed grief counselling to help you process your trauma and cope with your complicated emotions.
3. Broken Heart
Broken heart syndrome is a rare but severe type of grief. It is also called stress-induced cardiomyopathy.
Although a temporary heart condition, it can feel similar to having a heart attack. You may have a broken heart syndrome if you were triggered by any overwhelming situation, such as losing someone you loved deeply, including, through divorce or a break up.
Since grief manifests itself in different ways, some people may recover in a few days. However, others may struggle to understand their feelings and find it hard to manage their emotions.
Hence, if you struggle with broken heart syndrome, grief counselling can help you address the repressed thoughts and feelings you may have about the event.
4. Depression and Grief
Other mental health conditions, such as chronic depression, could exist along with your grief.
If you have depression, you may experience feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of interest in your regular activities.
Your depression could be a direct result of the loss you faced or may even be present for a long time. However, experiencing both grief and depression could be hard and lonely.
Hence, at TYHO, our psychotherapists in Singapore could help you identify the differences between both emotions and how one affects or influences the other and teach you evidence-based tools to manage the symptoms.
If your grief is left unresolved, you may also start noticing symptoms of anxiety and other issues.
During such situations, it is important to seek help to prevent yourself from resorting to unhelpful coping habits such as self-blame or alcohol consumption.
Myths and Facts About Grief
Grief is an inevitable emotion everyone experiences at some point in life, often as a response to loss. Despite its universality, there are numerous misconceptions surrounding this emotional state.
In this section, we will debunk common myths and facts about grief.
Grief follows a specific, linear progression of stages.
Everyone grieves differently, and these stages may happen in any order, overlap, or even be skipped entirely.
It’s necessary to “stay strong” in the face of loss.
It’s okay, and indeed healthy, to express and share feelings of sadness, anger, or confusion that come with grief.
If you grieve correctly, you should be “over it” within a year.
There’s no set timeline for grief. Grief can ebb and flow and can be triggered by specific dates, events, or reminders even years after the loss.
Crying is a necessary part of the grief process.
Crying is a common response to sorrow, but it’s not the only way to express grief. Some people may not cry at all but still experience deep feelings of loss.
Once you’ve grieved, you’ll never feel that pain again.
Even after significant healing, waves of grief can still resurface. This doesn’t mean you’re regressing—it’s simply part of the complex nature of grief.
Grief only happens after death.
Grief can be a response to any loss or change in life circumstances. This could include ending a relationship, losing a job, or moving away from home.
Moving on from grief means forgetting about the loss.
Moving on doesn’t mean ignoring the pain. Instead, it involves learning to live with the loss whilst finding ways to remember and honour it.
Seeking professional help for grief means you’re weak or incapable of managing your feelings.
Grief can be overwhelming and complicated, and therapists can provide valuable support for navigating it. Everyone needs help sometimes, and it’s okay to ask for it.
Treatment
Benefits of Grief Counselling in Singapore
Grief Counselling Techniques and Interventions
This section outlines six common grief counselling techniques and interventions that TYHO Therapists may use to support you.
1. Talk Therapy
Talk therapy (also known as psychotherapy) is when you share space with your Therapist and openly talk about your thoughts and feelings.
At TYHO, Therapists in Singapore offer face-to-face sessions and online sessions to help you:
- Manage your emotions
- Understand your grief
- Cope with feelings of sadness and guilt
- Find meaning and purpose in life
Please click the full profile of Therapists to look for someone you feel comfortable with. Here, you can read about a professional’s qualifications, specialisations, issues they can help with and therapeutic approaches they might use during sessions.
2. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT is an evidence-based approach that your Therapist may use to help you identify negative thought patterns and beliefs that make it difficult to process the grief (eg “I am the reason my loved one is not alive”).
Your Therapist may use tools such as cognitive reframing and developing a new narrative. Cognitive reframing is helping you become aware of unhelpful thoughts and taking healthy steps to change them.
On the other hand, your Therapist may help you come up with a new narrative about your loss (ie developing a new narrative).
3. Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a technique that comes from acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT).
Your Therapist will provide you with a non-judgmental awareness of the present moment and show you unconditional support regardless of how you grieve the loss.
For example, some people may find it hard to cry (usually the most common and, in fact, ‘expected’ response to loss) after losing a loved one.
While people around them may unintentionally invalidate the way someone grieves, therapy could provide the space for all types of grieving and coping mechanisms
4. Complicated Grief Treatment (CGT)
CGT is an intervention used by Therapists if you have intense or prolonged grief symptoms (ie complicated grief).
During CGT, your Therapist may draw from multiple approaches, such as CBT and interpersonal therapy.
You can learn how to address your emotions, rebuild your life and find meaning after loss.
CGT borrows from seven core elements:
5. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
ACT is a type of approach your Therapist might use to help you accept your pain and the reality of loss.
Your psychotherapist may focus on working with you to take active steps to reinforce your core personal values.
To do so, you may be guided to distance yourself from your experiences. The process of distancing yourself provides a more objective idea of your emotions, almost as if perceiving them from a third point of view.
Therapists in Singapore will help you focus on your future goals. Goal setting can instil a sense of purpose and turn your self-awareness into actionable steps that you can take to manage your grief.
6. Rituals
Rituals are a technique of grief counselling that provides a sense of structure and continuity. In grief counselling, Therapists can guide you in creating personalised rituals that honour your loved one’s memory to help you cope with the loss.
Activities like hosting a farewell ceremony, writing a letter, or conversing with the deceased person usually take place. By using these acts, counselling can provide the space to physically or emotionally express painful emotions.
Grief Counselling for Children
Grief is a universal experience. Everyone (regardless of age) has suffered or will suffer a loss at some point, and the loss affects everyone differently.
However, what young children understand about the process of grief is very different compared to what adults think about grief.
The stage of development has a significant impact on how children understand the death of a loved one.
For example, in the early years of childhood (between two and four years old), children are still developing their grasp of language and the world around them. At this stage, they may not understand the permanence of death and may view it as temporary.
As a result, these children may struggle to express their feelings, which can manifest as behavioural changes or regression in development. A child psychologist in Singapore can help them label and express their emotions through tools such as play therapy.
From five to eight years old, children begin to understand the finality of death, but they may still have difficulty grasping its abstract nature.
They may ask questions about the deceased, such as where they are and when they will return. At this stage, child psychologists at TYHO may provide age-appropriate explanations and tools to understand the concept.
Children between nine and twelve years old have a more concrete understanding of death and can comprehend the emotional implications of loss.
Hence, they may experience various feelings, including sadness, anger, and fear.
How Does Grief Counselling Help Children?
Grief counselling at TYHO can help children:
- Understand why they are feeling sad, frustrated, or angry
- Manage their feelings of grief
- Express their emotions in a way that makes them comfortable (eg painting or dancing)
For example, children may cry or feel angry after a loss but may not understand that what they are feeling is grief or sadness.
Through detailed role play (or role reversal), the Therapist might provide space to let the child explain in their own way how they look at the world, how others treat them, and what they are currently feeling.
During therapy sessions, the child psychologist may encourage honest discussions about the loss and provide clear, age-appropriate explanations about the nature of death.
Usually, Therapists use creative therapeutic tools, such as drawing, writing, or role-playing, to help children articulate their emotions and make sense of their grief.
Support networks, including family and friends, can also provide comfort and guidance for children as they navigate the grieving process.
Grief Counselling for Teens
Counselling in Singapore can provide a space where teenagers can initiate conversations and discuss their feelings without the fear of being ridiculed or infantilised (ie treating someone in a way that denies their maturity).
The Therapists guide teenagers and provide support and techniques such as emotion-focused Therapy (EFT) to grieve safely.
In addition, grief counselling also acts as a tool to reassure them that their reactions are normal and allows them to grieve at their own pace.
Lastly, teenagers’ relationships with their family, friends, and community can significantly affect their response to and coping with loss.
Therefore, it can help to support teenagers either through family counselling in Singapore (ie where family members attend therapy together to cope with the grief) or showing support through being non-judgemental and providing unconditional love.
Working with a counsellor to manage grief can significantly improve the quality of life and bring new meaning to life after loss.
How Does Grief Counselling Help Teens?
Grief is a universal experience. Everyone (regardless of age) has suffered or will suffer a loss at some point, and the loss affects everyone differently.
However, what young children understand about the process of grief is very different compared to what adults think about grief.
The stage of development has a significant impact on how children understand the death of a loved one.
For example, in the early years of childhood (between two and four years old), children are still developing their grasp of language and the world around them. At this stage, they may not understand the permanence of death and may view it as temporary.
As a result, these children may struggle to express their feelings, which can manifest as behavioural changes or regression in development. A child psychologist in Singapore can help them label and express their emotions through tools such as play therapy.
From five to eight years old, children begin to understand the finality of death, but they may still have difficulty grasping its abstract nature.
They may ask questions about the deceased, such as where they are and when they will return. At this stage, child psychologists at TYHO may provide age-appropriate explanations and tools to understand the concept.
Children between nine and twelve years old have a more concrete understanding of death and can comprehend the emotional implications of loss.
Hence, they may experience various feelings, including sadness, anger, and fear.
Our Therapists Who Can Help
Have you considered counselling in Singapore to navigate grief? Below are some of our Singaporean Therapists who may be able to assist.
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