How Do Therapists in Singapore Help with Anger Management?
Last Updated on April 25, 2025 by Prath
Reviewed by April Justice, LICSW
- Published on 25 April 2025
‘I’m seeing red.’ ‘This is making my blood boil.’ Are you familiar with these idioms? We use them to describe uncontrollable anger; often, it doesn’t paint a nice picture.
The surprising aspect of anger is that it’s an essential part of the human experience. We need to feel anger to protect ourselves from injustice.
However, despite anger being such a natural emotion, many struggle with managing it. Imagine feeling so much anger that you want to break furniture. The second we blow up instead of expressing our emotions constructively, it may become unhealthy.
Therapists in Singapore are trained for exactly this purpose. During sessions, you can learn constructive ways to process your emotions.
In this article, we’ll break down the symptoms of unhealthy anger and share the 2 techniques therapists may use to manage anger issues.
This Article Contains:
12 Symptoms of Unhealthy Anger in Adults
Ultimately, if anger is not positively serving you, it can be defined as ‘unhealthy.’ To understand this better, here’s an example:
Let’s imagine that you snapped at your partner because they weren’t listening to you. At that moment, you may justify your anger. And the justification could be your immediate response because someone not listening to you can make you feel unloved.
But later, you feel ashamed and upset when you replay the conversation in your head. Perhaps you’d said some hurtful words. Maybe you stormed away or slammed the door. All these reactions you have to anger can affect your relationship.
When the anger worsens the situation, that’s when it can be considered unhealthy.
Although the DSM does not include a criterion to diagnose problematic anger, below are some unhealthy symptoms that may cause you distress:
- Feeling anger constantly for more than a few weeks
- Being very quick to experience anger and to act on it
- Struggling to control anger for a long time after it occurs
- Difficulty having a calm and healthy argument with others
- Difficulties expressing your anger in an articulate way
- The ability to function healthily on a daily basis is disrupted by anger
- Problems in school, work, or romantic relationships due to anger
- Relying on drugs or alcohol to manage anger
- Engaging in self-harming behaviour due to uncontrollable anger
- Engaging in violent behaviours due to anger
- Being antisocial or aggressive
- Having narcissistic tendencies due to unprocessed emotions
What Approaches Do Therapists in Singapore Use?
Therapists in Singapore may use several techniques to help you:
- Process anger in a healthy way
- Understand the triggers and root causes of your anger
- Address any underlying issues that may be worsening your anger
- Manage anger in a relationship
Below are some of the common types of approaches.
1) Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
CBT is used to address negative thoughts and behavioural patterns.
For example, imagine you are angry at your friend for being late for a hangout event. Your first automatic thought would be, ‘I hate that she’s late. How could she be so irresponsible?’
Your frustration may lead to automatic behaviours such as ignoring your friend’s phone call, leaving the place without explanation or checking with them, or having a heated argument.
However, your therapist may teach you how to unpack these emotions during sessions. CBT can also equip you with tools to express anger and avoid automatic negative thoughts.
Talking to a Therapist about anger can help you take more control of the situation.
2) Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT)
Therapists in Singapore who use DBT may focus on 3 core aspects:
- Emotional regulation
- Distress tolerance
- Mindfulness
DBT is a practical approach that gives you step-by-step instructions to control your anger.
For example, a DBT tool that therapists may use is cost-benefit analysis. Listing the costs and benefits of a particular behaviour can encourage you to change the habit.
On the one hand, if the first behavioural response you have to anger is breaking whatever is in front of you, the cost is harm to yourself, and there is no benefit.
On the other hand, if your first reaction is screaming into a pillow, there is no cost, but the benefit is releasing your pent-up emotions.
Using structured dialogue exchange, therapists may help you see more clearly the things you’d previously overlooked.
2 Tools Therapists Use to Address Anger
Therapists in Singapore may use various tools to help you identify, express, and manage anger.
The type of therapy and tool a professional uses depends on many factors. Some of these include the following:
- The intensity of your anger
- The damage that anger is causing you in all aspects of your life
- The negative effects of anger on your relationships and work
- Any underlying mental health issues
- Your needs and preferences
Let’s look at the 3 most common therapeutic tools below.
1) Norman Cotterell’s 7 Steps for Anger
Norman Cotterell is a clinician who has developed 7 steps for effective anger management.
Before the stages, the therapist may ‘prepare’ the client, also known as the cost-benefit analysis we explored earlier.
Doing the cost-benefit analysis can help set the context. The Singaporean therapist may ask you to:
- Write down ways to manage anger that you think are admirable
- Weigh the cost and benefit of your response to anger
- Rate the costs and benefits of your selected behaviours
At this point, you may add up the points for both the costs and benefits and analyse which behaviour positively serves you.
The following 7 steps are:
a) ‘Should’ rules
Anger usually surfaces when our ‘should’ rule is broken. For example, ‘They should have informed me,’ ‘He should pay attention,’ ‘She should be honest.’
The therapist in Singapore may help you identify your ‘shoulds’ in this stage and help you accept what’s happened instead of trying to resist it.
b) Emotions about broken rules
In the second step, the therapist may explore your emotions when your ‘should’ rules are broken.
Do you feel emotional, betrayed, hurt, or sad? The underlying emotions of anger may hint at the root cause.
c) Hot thoughts
In the third step, the therapist may teach you to identify thoughts that are too reactive or intense, also called ‘hot thoughts’.
For example, imagine your friend accidentally breaking your favourite cup. Therapists in Singapore may help you replace hot thoughts like, ‘They’re an idiot,’ with more reflective ones like, ‘They made a genuine mistake.’
d) Anger
The fourth step of this technique involves anger as the primary emotion. Your therapist may use breathing exercises, mindfulness tools, or relaxation practices to help you manage your emotions.
During sessions, the therapist may also guide you to use anger to help you identify or realise your values and principles.
e) Moral disengagement
During this stage, you may learn to disengage with negative thoughts and beliefs and replace them with rational ones.
For example, imagine you have a heated argument with your sibling and say, ‘He started it. It’s his fault.’
Your therapist may explore why you’re thinking this way and encourage you to assess the pros and cons of the assumption you’d come up with.
f) Aggression
The 6th step involves exploring aggressive behaviours that stem from anger.
For example, your therapist in Singapore may ask you to:
- Empathise with the people who caused your anger
- Reflect on why the person may have acted a particular way
- Step into the shoes of other people around you to shift perspectives
The tools a therapist may use may also teach you how to communicate your feelings constructively.
g) Outcome
In the final stage, therapists may work with you to:
- Reduce underlying feelings like guilt or shame
- Gain a proper closure after experiencing an explosive emotion
- Learn how to identify any triggers that may come up in the future
Note that the stages are not linear and may be explored to suit your needs best.
Tip: If you’re experiencing intense anger, have an honest talk with your Therapist and understand how they can help you manage it. It’s often hard to seek help when it feels like we’re at the centre of a problem. If you feel that way, it’s best to reach out to a loved one and ask them for help booking a session with a therapist in Singapore.
2) STOP Skill
The STOP skill follows this sequence: Stop, Take a step back, Observe, and Proceed mindfully.
a) Stop
The therapist may give you cards with a few words written. For this exercise, one of the words may be ‘STOP’.
Whenever you feel intense anger bubbling in your stomach, the therapist may urge you to look at the card.
The STOP card is a reminder to stop – don’t react, don’t move, don’t think. Freezing in an intense moment of outburst can help you regain control of your emotions.
b) Take a step back
The therapist may teach you skills to take a step back after stopping. Some of the examples include:
- Walk away from the situation
- Take a cold bath
- Take deep breaths
- Eat delicious food
Any behaviour that can help you snap out of the emotions is good to engage in at this point.
c) Observe
At this stage, your therapist may teach you to observe your feelings, surroundings, inner world, and external world.
For example:
- Listen to the sounds in your room
- Find all objects that are circles
- Identify 3 things that are yellow
- If you’re angry with someone, imagine them standing in your room
This exercise helps you challenge yourself and face your negative beliefs.
d) Proceed mindfully
In the final step, the therapist may teach you ways to handle the situation mindfully.
For example, you may explore questions such as:
- What is the best way to move forward?
- What thoughts can I form on this situation or person?
- What are the ideal behaviours to engage in right now?
- If I face the person again, what will I say?
- What choice may make this situation better or worse?
Your therapist may use structured dialogue exchange to challenge your thought process. If at any time you feel uncomfortable, you should let your therapist know.
Dealing with anger can be hard, as it involves constant self-reflection and self-care. Hence, your therapist also understands the difficulty of this process. Having an honest conversation can ensure that you’re heading in the right direction at the right pace.
Conclusion
Anger is a normal emotion. But it can affect your life negatively if blown out of proportion.
Therapists in Singapore may use approaches such as CBT and DBT to help reduce symptoms of problematic anger. Both tools are practical and involve several exercises you can practice, even outside therapy sessions.
Intense anger can lead to other issues like generalised anxiety, distress, and fatigue.
That’s why it’s important to talk to a Therapist before the symptoms worsen. If you are ready to get started, find a TYHO Therapist here.
