What to Expect in the First 3 Counselling Sessions

Starting counselling can feel a little like standing outside a room with the door slightly open. You’re curious, maybe hopeful, or nervous.  

You might be wondering, what actually happens in the first counselling session? Where do you even start? What if you freeze and can’t think of much to say?  

All your questions are valid, and simply learning more about the therapy process can remove the fear of uncertainty.  

The first few sessions are about understanding you as a person, getting to know your story and discussing the direction for the work ahead.  

In this guide, we’ll take you through what typically happens in the first three counselling sessions, what to expect from the therapy process, and how you can prepare for the healing journey ahead. 

Introduction to TYHO

TYHO provides in-person and online therapy in Singapore. Our platform connects clients to vetted and experienced Psychotherapists, Psychologists, and Counsellors in Singapore. We refer to all our mental health professionals collectively as "Therapists", given the overlap in their scopes of practice. A majority of our Therapists are members of recognised bodies such as the Singapore Association for Counselling (SAC) and the Singapore Psychological Society (SPS). If you'd like help with selecting someone suitable, WhatsApp us at +65 9831 0005 or email us at [email protected].

First Counselling Session: Information Gathering

The first counselling session is usually about getting to know your therapist in Singapore and sharing your story.  

Think of it as laying out the foundation. The therapist is a stranger until the first session, and it is only then that you properly get to know them.  

Your therapist will likely ask questions about:

• What brought you to therapy
• What are your presenting problems are
• When the issues started and their intensity
• The impact of your mental health on your work, relationships, sleep, or daily life
• Your personal and medical history
• Family, interpersonal relationships, and other support systems
• Any previous experience with the therapy process

The therapist gathers all the above information to understand the bigger picture. Here’s a quick example of what the first counselling session might look like:  

Let’s say you’re seeking therapy due to anxiety at work. The dialogues could sound like:

Therapist: ‘When do you notice the anxiety the most?’

You: ‘Mostly before presentations. I feel sick, and my hands shake.’

Therapist: ‘What goes through your mind in those moments?’

Tips for Attending the First Counselling Session

• You might not be aware of all the problems you have, and that’s okay. Remember that the goal is to reflect and be honest with your therapist, rather than coming up with a perfect analysis of your thought process.  
• Be honest about your issues and therapy goals. TYHO Singaporean counsellors would approach sessions with a non-judgmental, compassionate attitude.  
• Ask as many questions as you possibly can. The first counselling sessions are just as much for you to get to know the professional as they are for them to get to know you.  

Second Counselling Session: Rapport Building

The second counselling session typically focuses on building rapport and a healthy therapeutic alliance (ie a professional relationship with the therapist).  

Research shows that the therapy process has significantly positive outcomes when you feel safe, supported, and heard. And the quality of the relationship between the therapist and you is one of the strongest predictors of positive outcomes.  

Here’s what you may notice in the second session:

• The conversation feels more personal and exploratory
• The therapist may begin asking questions about your feelings and thoughts
• You may start to explore one specific issue in depth

Below is a dialogue exchange example of exploring an issue in the second session:

You: ‘I keep thinking I’m not good enough.’

Therapist: ‘When you say ‘not good enough’, whose voice does that sound like?’

Now you’re moving from surface-level thoughts to identifying deeper patterns.

Tips to Identify if the Rapport Building is Healthy

Here are some questions you can ask yourself after the session to identify if the rapport-building process is healthy:  

• Do I feel comfortable speaking freely?
• Does the therapist interrupt me or truly listen and reflect back?
• Do I feel judged or understood?

Do note that you might not feel 100% comfortable right away. Building trust takes time, and you may benefit from giving yourself and the therapy process enough time to gauge your comfort levels.  

Third Counselling Session: Developing Therapeutic Plan

By the third counselling session, you and your therapist usually have enough information to start building on the therapeutic plan.  

The plan might include a roadmap of tools the expert may use, such as cognitive behavioural therapy, the kinds of issues you may want to address, and a realistic set of therapy goals and ways to achieve them.  

You might discuss:

• Your main goals
• Short-term focus areas
• What progress would look like
• Frequency of sessions

For example, if you started the therapy process for anxiety, here’s what to expect in the therapeutic plan:  

• Understanding triggers
• Learning grounding techniques
• Challenging unhelpful thoughts
• Building confidence in high-stress situations

Your therapist might say: ‘Based on what we’ve discussed, it seems like perfectionism and fear of judgement are central themes. Would you like us to focus there first?’

The sessions are always collaborative, and you would have the space to set the pace and direction of the therapy process. 

What to Expect? A Guide to the Therapy Process

Many people assume that the therapy process might start with your deepest trauma or result in endless back-and-forth conversations. However, that’s not true.  

Here’s what to expect from the process after the first few counselling sessions:  

Emotional ups and downs: Some sessions will feel relieving, while others may feel heavy. That doesn’t mean therapy is not working. Growth can feel uncomfortable because you’re examining patterns you’ve lived with for years.

Gradual change: change often looks like reacting slowly and more mindfully to stressful situations, noticing triggers before they happen, and observing small shifts in your mood and body.  

Evolving goals and tools: As you begin to address your problems, you may also solve and move past the therapy goals. The therapy process evolves with you, and the professional may adjust the plan and their style along the way.  

Key Takeaways

• The first counselling session is usually when your therapist gathers information about your concerns, background, and goals

• The second counselling session is when trust begins to strengthen and conversations often go deeper

• The third counselling session is usually when you may set therapy goals and create a therapeutic plan along with the professional

• The therapy process is collaborative, gradual, and adaptable