Do I Need Couples Therapy or Marriage Counselling?

Starting a relationship can be exciting. It’s a new chapter of life!  

But similar to all life stages, romantic relationships may also come with challenges that you may not know how to handle. And that’s okay.  

If you feel like you and your partner may benefit from change and growth, couples counselling in Singapore is just the intervention you may need.  

Couples counselling can help if you engage in frequent arguments, struggle to express your thoughts effectively, or clash due to external stressors like job anxiety.  

If you’ve already decided to seek help for one or more of the above, but are unsure of what type of therapy may help, this article is for you.  

In this piece, we’ll cover the differences between couples counselling and marriage therapy, and address some commonly asked questions about the therapy process.  

Getting Started with Couples Counselling in Singapore

At Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO), we provide couples counselling in Singapore in several locations. Additionally, you may opt to book either in-person or online sessions. The best part is that you have no pressure to stick to one modality.  

For example, you can schedule online sessions when you are busy travelling and then transition to in-person sessions with the same Therapist when your calendar is free.  

Below is a brief overview of the counselling process:

• Booking the first session: Either you or your partner can schedule a couples counselling session. You can join from the same or a different location (if it’s an online booking).  
• Meeting the Therapist: The professional will typically spend the first session building rapport and getting to know both of you. Take this opportunity to ask questions about the Therapist and explore your therapy expectations.  
• Setting therapy goals: Everyone involved in the session (ie therapist, you, and your partner) will work together to set goals and create timelines to achieve them. You may also want to discuss with your partner and have some mutual goals prepared before meeting the couple's Therapist.  

Quick exercise to initiate conversations about therapy

If you’re considering couples counselling and haven’t spoken to your partner yet, here’s an activity that can help break the ice:

Step 1: Write

Both of you can spend 5-10 minutes writing down answers to the following questions:

• What do I value most in our relationship?

• What situations make me feel stuck or frustrated?

• What kind of support could help us?

Step 2: Share

Choose a time when neither of you is distracted, perhaps after work or early in the morning. Take turns and share your answers. Remember not to interrupt each other during this step.

Step 3: Listen

As your partner shares, repeat back what you heard in your own words (eg ‘So you feel overwhelmed when we argue about money, and you’d like us to find a calmer way to talk about it?).

Step 4: Introduce the idea of counselling

After both of you have shared, try asking: ‘Would you be open to getting some guidancetogether, like couples counselling, so we can figure this out in a better way?’

Difference Between Couples Counselling & Marriage Therapy

Often, people use the terms' couples counselling' and 'marriage therapy' interchangeably. However, there are some subtle differences.  

Couples Counselling

Couples counselling is usually short-term and focuses on the present issues. Sessions are person-centred and solution-oriented.  

Below are some of the areas that couples counselling can help with:

• Communication problems: Constant misunderstandings about chores, money, or spending quality time together.  
• Conflicts: Engaging in conflicts, arguments or fights to blame each other, or leaving the problem unresolved.
• Unhealthy interaction patterns: Avoiding each other’s physical and emotional presence and feeling distant.  

For example, let’s consider a couple, Raj and Alia. They often fight about money every week. However, during couples counselling, the Therapist may introduce tools such as ‘I Statements’ (eg ‘I feel anxious when we spend a lot…’) to help resolve conflicts healthily and effectively.

Tip: If your main struggles are daily arguments or emotional distance, couples counselling is often the right first step.

Marriage Therapy  

Marriage therapy is sometimes referred to as marriage counselling. Sessions delve into deep-rooted issues and focus on long-term treatment plans.  

Marriage counselling can help with:

• Rebuilding trust after infidelity, financial dishonesty, or emotional betrayal.  
• Overcoming unhealthy patterns carried from the past: Couples often struggle to realise how deeply their family background influences their marriage. Growing up in a household with negative interaction patterns can carry over into their romantic relationships.  
• Navigating major life transitions together: For example, parenthood, career changes, or moving to a new country can make partners feel emotionally distant.
• Making informed choices about the future: Sometimes, couples reach a point where they’re unsure if staying together is the right choice. Perhaps their needs have changed majorly, or maybe someone is stuck in a red flag relationship - all these are valid reasons for seeking help.

Tip: If your marriage feels weak due to betrayal, resentment, or long-standing conflict, marriage therapy can be the right option for you.  

Based on Style

Another important difference lies in the way these two approaches are conducted.

Couples counselling is usually structured, practical, and focuses specifically on the issues that a couple wants to address. The counsellor may introduce exercises, worksheets, or role-plays to help partners practise healthier communication. The aim is to build skills that can be applied directly in everyday life. Couples typically attend around 8 to 12 sessions over the course of a few months to enhance their bond and improve their interaction.  

Marriage therapy tends to be more intensive and exploratory. The therapist guides couples to look beyond the immediate conflict and examine the deeper causes — such as expectations, emotional triggers, or unresolved trauma. The process is open-ended, and while both partners are usually present, therapists may occasionally recommend individual sessions to gain a deeper understanding of each person’s perspective. The pace can feel slower, but it allows couples to understand the root causes of their presenting problems before moving on to the solution.  

Key Takeaways

• Couples counselling in Singapore may be the right option if you’re struggling with present issues like communication problems or recurring arguments.

• Marriage counselling may be the right option if you want to explore deep-rooted issues in your marriage and navigate marital dynamics.

• Individual counselling alongside couples therapy may work the best if you struggle with personal mental health challenges (like trauma or anxiety).

If you’re ready to get started, book a couples counselling session at TYHO. You are not alone.

Frequently Asked Questions

1) Is there a difference between couples counselling in Singapore and marriage therapy?

Yes, couples counselling is different from that of marriage therapy.  

On the one hand, couples counselling is the right option for you if you are:

• In a relationship  
• Living together with a partner
• In a new relationship
• Hoping to explore emotional and sexual aspects of a romantic relationship
• Unmarried  

On the other hand, marriage counselling is the right option for you if you are:

• Married
• Living with a big family
• In a long-term or long-distance relationship
• Hoping to explore familial aspects of marriage like having a baby

2) What is the 555 rule for couples?

The 555 rule is a simple exercise to improve the quality of your romantic relationship.  

This is the idea: spend 5 minutes daily, 5 hours weekly, and 5 days yearly to intentionally connect with your partner.

For example:  

• 5 minutes daily: A quick hug and check-in after work.
• 5 hours weekly: A dinner date or weekend walk.
• 5 days yearly: A short trip or staycation. 

3) Is it worth doing couples counselling in Singapore?

Many couples hesitate to book their first couples therapy sessions. The main concern is whether therapy will actually be effective.  

The short answer is: Yes, couples counselling in Singapore is worth it, especially if you’re stuck wondering what went wrong with your relationship and how to fix it.  

Couples counselling provides a neutral space where both partners can speak openly and honestly. A professional will guide and maintain the pace of the conversation, allowing partners to avoid blaming or guilt-tripping each other.  

In Singapore, many couples also face external stressors, such as balancing demanding careers, managing expectations from extended family, or coping with the high cost of living. These stressors can aggravate small disagreements.

In such cases, couples counselling can effectively improve your:

• Bond
• Communication skills
• Conflict-resolution skills
• Understanding of each other’s needs and love languages
• Emotional intelligence

4) Do I need couples counselling or individual counselling?

The answer to whether you need couples or individual counselling depends on the type of your presenting problem.

If your issue is between you and your partner, such as arguments, communication or intimacy issues, couples counselling is usually the right choice.  

However, if your issues are related to your mental health or other external stressors like work anxiety, then individual counselling may be more beneficial.  

For example, if you’re struggling with social anxiety, which is causing strains in your romantic relationship, a combination of individual and couples counselling may be the best approach for you.  

If you’re confused, try talking to your partner. If your loved one feels like they may also benefit from therapy, you can try couples counselling. Have an open discussion with your therapist to explore which type of therapy is the right choice for you.  

Ask yourself this question: Are we mainly struggling with ‘us,’ or am I personally struggling with something that spills into ‘us’?