How to Find a Good Therapist in Singapore: 6 Questions to Ask & Red Flags to Avoid

You’ve taken that first brave step – you’ve reached out for help and started seeing a therapist in Singapore!

But as you navigate this new world of therapy, you may wonder how to know if a therapist is right for you. We’re here to tell you that it’s a very valid question to have, especially in the early stages of therapy.

Our blog explores the signs of a good therapist, the signs of a bad therapist, as well as questions to ask a therapist in Singapore. Read along and gently check in with yourself to understand if your therapist checks the right boxes.

Signs of A Good Therapist in Singapore: 6 Questions to Consider

Choosing the right therapist in Singapore isn’t always about checking credentials or looking for specialisations – it’s also about connection, trust, comfort, and feeling like you’re genuinely supported. 

If you’re wondering ‘how to know if a therapist is a good fit’, here are seven questions to help you with just that:

1) Do You Feel Emotionally Safe and Comfortable Around Them? Do You Trust Them?

Therapy works best when you feel safe enough to open up to your Singaporean therapist, without holding back or second-guessing your emotions. 

Ask yourself: Do I feel calm, safe and comfortable in their presence? Can I speak honestly without fear?

Research indicates that trust between clients and therapists is associated with greater symptom improvement later in therapy.

However, it’s important to remember that trust won’t be instant, and that’s absolutely okay. After all, your therapist is a stranger, and trust always takes time to build. 

So, even if it feels difficult to gauge trust right off the bat, look for subtle signs like:

• You feel a slight sense of relief or lightness after talking to them.
• You don’t feel pressured to share more than you’re ready for.
• You notice yourself being a little more open each time.
• You’re not walking on eggshells, and you feel like you can be real.

A good therapist in Singapore will strive to create a therapeutic environment where emotional safety and trust can slowly and steadily grow.

2) Do They Really Listen and Make You Feel Seen, Heard, and Validated?

It’s one thing for someone just to hear your words; it’s another to feel truly understood. A professional therapist in Singapore won’t just nod along; they’ll listen actively, tuning in to what you’re saying and what you’re feeling beneath the surface.

Pay attention to how your therapist responds when you share something:

• Do they inquire and ask questions that add to your line of thought, rather than taking you away from it?
• Do their responses make you feel heard and validated?
• Do they remember and connect back to things you’ve shared previously?
• Do their responses feel empathetic and understanding?
• Can I speak openly without watching my words?
• Am I afraid they’ll think less of me if I cry, vent, or get stuck?
• Do I feel accepted as I am?

Validation doesn’t mean your therapist agrees with everything you say. In fact, your therapist in Singapore may often gently challenge you and move you towards your goals and healthy outcomes.

3) Do They Respect Your Boundaries? Emotionally, Physically, and Culturally?

Feeling safe during counselling sessions goes beyond just trust –  it also means knowing your personal and cultural boundaries will be respected.

Make a note of whether your therapist in Singapore does the following:

• Ask for your consent before exploring sensitive/heavy topics or asking difficult questions
• Stay mindful of your reactions, body language and comfort level and check in if something seems too overwhelming
• Honour your pace, comfort levels, and cultural/religious identity
• Avoid making assumptions or minimising your lived experience in any way

Mutual respect and trust are often born through a collection of such small gestures over time.

4) Do They Let You Set the Pace and Direction of Therapy?

Therapy doesn’t have a one-size-fits-all roadmap. It’s a personal and collaborative journey where you should be in the driver’s seat.

A good therapist in Singapore will always take the back seat (being a gentle guide) and let you drive while offering directions. For example, if you don’t prefer a certain type of therapy and want to try something else, say cognitive behavioural therapy, you’ll have the space to bring it up while working with an expert, and they’ll support you in making that shift.

Ask yourself:

• Do I have space to pause, process, or take breaks when needed?
• Am I able to speak up when something doesn’t feel helpful?
• Does my therapist regularly ask for my opinions on the direction of therapy?
• Do I ever feel rushed or pushed?

Studies show that the success rate of therapy increases when the client is actively involved in the therapeutic process.

5) Do You Feel Like You’re Working Together, As a Team?

Contrary to what mass media would have us believe, therapists do not offer advice or ‘fix’ problems. 

Therapy is all about collaboration. You bring your experiences, emotions, and goals, while your therapist brings tools, techniques, qualifications, and professional support.

The right therapist in Singapore will approach your sessions as a collaborative space where you work together to achieve your therapy goals. 

Asking yourself the following questions can help you understand this better:

• Do I feel like we’re creating progress together?
• Do conversations ever feel one-sided?
• Are they open to my feedback and/or actively ask for it?
• Do I feel involved in my growth through therapy?

6) Do You Leave Sessions Feeling Better Than You Do Entering Them?

Not every session will end with a breakthrough. But ideally, you should leave therapy feeling lighter, clearer, or at least heard – definitely not more confused or weighed down.

Think about how you feel after sessions with your therapist in Singapore:

• Do you feel more grounded or less overwhelmed?
• Do you feel heard and understood, even if the session was tough?
• Are you learning something new about yourself, your patterns, and your strengths?

While therapy takes consistent effort and time, it’s also essential to check in with your gut from time to time. Does it feel like it’s helping?

If you’re unsure about progress or compatibility, bring this up and be honest with your therapist. A professional therapist in Singapore will always be open to feedback and tailor the process to suit your needs better.
 

Signs Of a Bad Therapist in Singapore: 9 Therapist Red Flags To Look Out For

Having looked at the signs of a good therapist, here are some ways to spot the signs of a bad therapist in Singapore:

1) A Bad Therapist Dismisses Your Experiences

Your therapist should not be making statements like ‘you should not be complaining about that’, ‘it’s not a big deal’, or ‘there are others going through much worse than you’. Therapy is about your experiences, not the experiences of others elsewhere. 

Even if others are going through ‘worse’, your experiences and feelings are absolutely valid. If you feel angry, you feel angry. A good therapist in Singapore will acknowledge your unique experience and feelings.

2) A Bad Therapist Tells You What to Do By Prescribing Unsolicited Advice or Solutions

Contrary to popular belief, therapists do not provide advice or solutions. Rather, a therapist hears you out and works with you to identify insights and possibilities that you deem best for you, given your situation. 

A therapist should also help you identify your strengths that could help you arrive at your own resolution. You should not be hearing your therapist say things like:

• ‘Quit your job if it’s making you unhappy’
• ‘Just move if you don’t like your neighbours’
• ‘You should try golf. If it worked for me, it will work for you’

Every situation elicits different considerations for each individual. Providing unsolicited advice or solutions not only disempowers clients and dismisses each client’s unique experience, but it also presumes that the therapist knows a client’s life better than the client themselves.

3) A Bad Therapist Judges You By Their Own Personal Religious, Spiritual, Political, or Cultural Beliefs

Therapy is about you and how you are coping in relation to your own values and beliefs. A therapist should not impose their own beliefs on you. Doing so insinuates that the therapist’s values and beliefs are superior to yours in some way. 

Take, for instance, a therapist whose religious values state that divorce is wrong. If a client is contemplating divorce, the therapist should find out more about the client’s situation and their thoughts and beliefs regarding divorce. 

What the therapist should not be saying is, ‘Of course you shouldn’t get a divorce. Divorce is wrong!' Neither should the therapist imply this during the counselling session.

4) A Bad Therapist Breaks Confidentiality Without a Valid Reason

A therapist may sometimes be obligated to break confidentiality when there is a risk of harm to you or someone else. 

In some instances, certain information from counselling sessions is required for legal purposes, such as in cases involving court-mandated counselling. 

However, a therapist should not be chatting with their friends about you over dinner or posting about your session on social media. 

A red flag to watch out for is if a therapist shares personal information about other clients with you. Such information could include their names, background information, and their experiences in therapy. If your therapist does this, how can you be assured that your personal information is not being shared with other clients? 

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5) A Bad Therapist Demands that You Book Many Sessions

A good therapist aims to help you reach your goals and not be dependent on therapy for a long time. 

While one session is often insufficient for long-term change, a therapist should not demand that you book multiple sessions with them. Even if you wish to continue, how therapy works should be a decision you arrive at on your own.

Keep in mind that you always have the choice to switch therapists or to pause therapy when you need to. You should not feel obligated to agree with what your therapist is insisting on.

6) A Bad Therapist Explains Concepts In an Overly Complicated Manner

Therapists would have had extensive training and exposure to various therapeutic concepts and approaches. That doesn’t mean, however, that they should show off their knowledge using jargon and academic terms. 

The point of therapy is to help you. Any concepts that the therapist explains should thus be expressed in simple, everyday language that is comprehensible to clients. 

Suppose a therapist believes that explaining a particular concept would be beneficial for the client. In that case, it is the therapist’s duty to also check in with the client after introducing the concept, to see if they have understood it.

7) A Bad Therapist Tries to Be Friends with You

Once again, therapists have an ethical responsibility to maintain professional boundaries with clients. 

A therapist should not be inviting you to play golf together for leisure, joining your family for a meal, or requesting favours unrelated to therapy. 

Doing so would constitute a dual relationship, which impacts the therapist’s ability to remain neutral during a counselling session. It’s due to the same reason why therapists are unable to provide therapy to their family members, friends, or anyone else within their own social circle. 

Imagine this: a client says, ‘I’m really annoyed with my sibling right now’, to which the counsellor, who has met the client’s sibling in an informal setting, responds with, ‘No way! Your sibling is such an amazing person!’

8) A Bad Therapist is Not Open to Feedback

Therapists should make you feel comfortable enough to raise any feedback you may have at any point in therapy. 

They should also be secure enough not to take things personally. Feedback is a normal part of any healthy therapeutic relationship.

9) A Bad Therapist Ends the Counselling Session Prematurely

If the session is scheduled for an hour, it should last no less than an hour. 

Occasionally, sessions may start late when therapists are delayed by crises or other sessions that run over their scheduled time. 

However, if your therapist is habitually late, or frequently cancels or misses appointments without a valid reason, it might be time to start looking for a new therapist in Singapore.
 

Final Thoughts: How to Know If a Therapist Is Right for You

Every person’s therapy journey is unique, but there’s one constant: the right therapist will help you feel safe, seen, and supported every step of the way.

If you’re just starting therapy, let these questions and red flags guide you gently. Remember, you don’t have to know all the answers right away. Just stay curious, honest with yourself (and your therapist), and open to what feels right.

If you’re still waiting for the best therapist in Singapore to come your way, thousands of Singaporeans have found their right fit at Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO).

Explore TYHO Therapists in Singapore , and book your first session today!