Interview with an Expert: Understanding Postpartum Blues

Last Updated on May 29, 2025 by Prath

Reviewed by April Justice, LICSW

Punitha is a strong advocate for mental health and believes in the importance of regular introspection in managing daily life.

With 15 years of clinical experience, she supports individuals through a range of issues, including emotional regulation, marriage or couples counselling, marriage preparation, and parental and caregiver stress.

As an experienced professional counsellor, she hopes to support individuals in various life stages in coping with difficult experiences. She currently works as a Therapist with Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO). Her full profile can be found here.

Do you relate to one of the following:

Dealing with postpartum blues

Struggling to understand the difference between blues and depression

Finding it hard to maintain the emotional bond with your partner after recently having a baby

Worrying about pregnancy, giving birth, and how the experience may change your life

If yes, you may find this written interview helpful. If you’re a new parent, know that help is available. You are not alone.

In this article, we at Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO) share a written interview with one of our expert Therapists, Punitha, on understanding and coping with postpartum blues.

1) I cry almost every day, sometimes without knowing why. Everyone keeps saying it's just hormones, but I feel like I’m drowning. How do I know if this is postpartum depression and not just a normal part of adjusting to motherhood?

I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way—and I want you to know you’re not alone, even if it feels like it.

What you’re describing could absolutely be more than ‘just hormones,’ and it’s good you’re asking these questions.

Signs you might be experiencing postpartum depression:

You cry frequently or daily and often don’t know why

You feel like you’re ‘drowning’ or suffocating emotionally

You feel overwhelmed, hopeless, or numb most of the time

You’re not enjoying things you used to (even moments with your baby)

You’re having trouble eating, sleeping, or concentrating

You feel like you’re failing or not good enough

You sometimes think your family might be better off without you

2) I’m a new mom, and I feel like I’m constantly stretched thin between caring for my newborn, managing work emails, and handling pressure from my in-laws. I’m exhausted and overwhelmed. How do I cope with all these responsibilities without breaking down?

First off, you’re not alone in feeling this way—and you’re not failing. Being a new mom is one of the most demanding transitions in life, especially when it’s compounded by work responsibilities and family dynamics.

Your exhaustion is valid, and it’s okay to admit you’re overwhelmed. Let’s break this down into manageable pieces so you can start to breathe again.

a) Reclaim Your Right to Rest

Sleep is often the first casualty of motherhood, but even short rest periods matter. You don’t need to do it all.

If the baby naps, rest instead of catching up on tasks. Even 20 minutes of quiet time can reset your system. Rest isn’t laziness; it’s survival.

b) Set Boundaries—Gently but Firmly

With work: Set expectations with your manager or team about your availability. If you’re checking emails while bouncing a baby on one arm, it’s too much. Try setting ‘on’ and ‘off’ times for work tasks, and use autoresponders if needed.

With in-laws: Be kind but clear. If they’re offering help, assign them something practical. If they’re adding stress, let your partner (if you have one) be the messenger. ‘We’re still adjusting and need some quiet time right now. Thanks for understanding.’

c) Lower the Bar

This isn’t the season for perfection. Dishes can wait. Emails can be answered later. Say no more often.

Ask yourself: Is this urgent, or just expected? You don’t need to meet everyone’s expectations. Just take care of what’s truly essential.

d) Outsource or Accept Help

This might mean:

Meal delivery for a few weeks

A friend watching the baby while you nap

Letting a coworker take something off your plate

You’re not weak for needing help. You’re wise for accepting it.

e) Create Micro-Moments for Yourself

Even 5–10 minutes a day to breathe, listen to a song you love, drink tea alone, or step outside can feel like a reset. It doesn’t have to be dramatic to be meaningful.

f) Talk it Out

Whether it’s a therapist, a new-mom support group, or a friend who gets it, voicing your feelings helps. You might be surprised how much relief comes just from being heard.

3) As a first-time mom, I barely have time to eat or sleep, let alone take care of myself. Whenever I try to rest or do something for myself, I feel guilty. How can I start prioritising my own well-being without feeling like I’m being selfish?

a) Reframe What ‘Self-Care’ Means

You don’t need spa days or long breaks to care for yourself. Think of self-care as basic maintenance, like charging your phone so it doesn’t shut down. It’s:

Eating something before noon

Taking a shower without rushing

Sitting down for 5 minutes in silence

These aren’t luxuries. They’re your right and responsibility.

b) Ditch the ‘All or Nothing’ Thinking

You don’t need a full hour to make something worth doing. Start with tiny moments:

Drink a glass of water while standing in the sunlight

Breathe deeply for 3 minutes while the baby sleeps

Journal one sentence at night

These small acts add up. You’re sending yourself the message: I matter too.

c) Remember: Your Baby Benefits When You’re Well

You’re modelling for your child what a healthy, balanced adult looks like. Your baby will one day learn self-worth partly through watching you.

When you care for yourself, you’re planting seeds of strength, self-respect, and emotional regulation for your little one.

Seek therapy to manage symptoms of postpartum blues.

4) I’m currently pregnant with my first child, and while I’ve been reading about what to expect physically, I’m not sure what the emotional experience will be like after giving birth. How can I prepare myself mentally for the changes that might come?

Expect Emotional Highs and Lows

After birth, your hormone levels drop dramatically, which can lead to what’s known as the ‘baby blues’—mood swings, weepiness, irritability, or anxiety.

This is normal and affects up to 80% of new moms. It usually peaks around day 4 or 5 and passes within two weeks.

🧠 Prepare by:

Letting your partner or support system know this is expected

Having someone check in on your emotional state daily

Keeping a journal (even short entries) to track how you’re feeling

If these feelings persist beyond 2 weeks or intensify, it could be postpartum depression or anxiety, which are common and treatable.

You Might Feel Overwhelmed by Responsibility

It can hit you all at once: I am this baby’s entire world. That can feel both magical and terrifying. You may doubt yourself, feel like you’re doing it ‘wrong,’ or miss your old life.

🧠 Prepare by:

Reminding yourself that every mom feels unsure at first—this doesn’t mean you’re not a good mom

Making a ‘reassurance list’ now: a list of encouraging truths you can revisit when your confidence dips (eg ‘It’s okay to not know everything’ or ‘I’m learning as I go’)

Talking to other moms ahead of time about what surprised them most

5) I’m a new dad, and my wife is taking on most of the baby-related work even though I want to help. Sometimes when I try, it feels like I’m doing it wrong or getting in the way. How can I share the responsibilities in a way that actually helps her?

Start with a Conversation, Not Just Action

Sit down (ideally not during a meltdown or 2 a.m. feed) and say something like:

‘I really want to be more involved. I know it might not always feel smooth, but I’m committed to learning and sharing the load. What’s been hardest for you lately?’

Why this matters: You’re showing her you’re not just offering help. You’re offering a partnership. That opens the door for honesty without resentment and improves your relationship.

Own Specific Tasks From Start to Finish

Rather than vaguely asking, ‘How can I help?’ (which puts more work on her to delegate), take full ownership of specific tasks:

Bath time every evening

Morning bottle or diaper duty

Washing and folding baby clothes

Managing appointments or night shifts on weekends

When you take full charge of a task, your partner can mentally offload it, which is the real gift.

6) My wife recently gave birth, and I’ve noticed she’s been more withdrawn and tearful. I want to be there for her, but I don’t know what she needs or how to support her emotionally. What can I do to be a better partner during this time?

Start With Empathy, Not Solutions

Right now, your wife may not need answers—she needs validation. When she’s withdrawn or tearful, say things like:

‘It’s okay to feel this way.’

‘You don’t have to be okay all the time.’

‘I see how much you’re doing, and I’m here for you.’

Avoid trying to fix things too quickly. Just being with her in the moment—quietly, patiently—is more powerful than you think.

Encourage Small Breaks and Care Without Pressure

Gently offer her space to take care of herself:

‘Why don’t you go take a shower or nap? I’ve got the baby.’

‘Would a short walk help clear your mind?’

Let her know self-care isn’t indulgent—it’s essential.

7) I’m a new mom, and ever since my baby arrived, I feel like I’ve lost the person I used to be. I used to have hobbies, a career, and a sense of purpose. Is it normal to feel like I don’t recognise myself anymore?

You Haven’t Lost Yourself—You’re Evolving

It might not feel like it now, but this version of you isn’t gone; she’s in transition. You’re not erasing your identity. You’re reshaping it around a life that just expanded dramatically.

You’re now:

A mother and still someone who needs creativity, fulfillment, and rest

Responsible for a child, but not solely defined by that role

Changing but not disappearing

It’s Okay to Grieve Your Old Life

You’re allowed to miss:

Spontaneity

Time to think without interruption

A job that gave you purpose

Quiet moments that weren’t shared

That grief doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. It means you’re human. Grief and gratitude can live side by side.

Reconnection Takes Time—and Intention

You might not have hours for your old hobbies right now, but you can:

Start with micro moments—5 minutes of a podcast, writing one sentence, doodling

Keep a list of things that made you feel ‘you’ before (music, clothes, books, people)

Choose one small act a week that reconnects you to something pre-baby

You don’t need to go back to who you were—you’re becoming someone new, with pieces of the old you woven in.

Conclusion

If you are navigating early parenthood and feeling overwhelmed, know that you’re not alone. Help is always available.

Therapy in Singapore can be a confidential space to:

Process your emotions

Ask questions

Understand the psychological changes that occur due to pregnancy

Talk freely and feel seen

If you’re struggling with postpartum blues, try talking to a Therapist. At TYHO, we have a large pool of professionals experienced with pregnancy and postpartum-related issues, marital conflicts, and parenthood.

Book a session today.

Book a session with a qualified Therapist today!