Marriage Counselling Online at TYHO

Marriage Counselling

How Marriage Counselling Works on TYHO

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What You’ll Get From Marriage Counselling

It is common for couples to face challenges in their marriage. Partners may have contrasting thoughts and beliefs, and as fallouts occur, couples often turn to marriage counselling for support.

How will you benefit from TYHO’s marriage counselling services?

Openness and Responsibility

Learn skills to cultivate a secure and trusting space in the relationship.

Cultural and Multicultural Support

Find Therapists who understand and respect the unique challenges in multicultural relationships.

Intimacy Enhancement Techniques

Explore proven techniques to deepen intimacy and reignite the passion in your relationship.

Personalised Support

Benefit from support and therapy plans tailored to your and your spouse's needs.

Parenting and Co-Parenting Support

Learn practical tools to establish a balanced co-parenting dynamic from our Therapists.

Credible Advice and Guidance

Access engaging webinars, valuable articles, and continuous guidance and support.

Marriage Counselling Process

Understanding
and Assessment

Intervention
and Guidance

Sustaining
Positive Change

Understanding
and Assessment

Premarital Counselling

You can receive premarital counselling before you get married. Premarital counselling at TYHO can help you prepare for various transitions in your life.

The new phases can include moving in together before marriage, getting married, getting to know your partner’s family, and having children.

TYHO marriage counsellors use several therapeutic approaches, such as motivational interviewing (eg affirming your feelings, asking open-ended questions, and reflective listening) to help you identify and prepare for conflicts that you may experience in the future.

Some of the other issues you can solve during premarital counselling include:

Preparing for marriage
Understanding the value of finance and money in your relationship
Deciding on whether to have children
Learning and identifying your parenting styles
Developing healthy and positive relationships with extended families
Understand each other's responsibilities in the marriage
Accepting and respecting religious differences
Building trust and connection
Creating goals and aspirations for your married life (eg buying a house, shared milestones etc.)

Intervention
and Guidance

Marital Counselling

If you want to seek marriage counselling, remember that you are taking a proactive step towards improving and maintaining the foundation of your relationship!

Marriage counsellors in Singapore can help you and your spouse address any doubts and strengthen the foundation of your marriage.

You can reach out to TYHO marriage counsellors if you are newly married, have been married for a long time, or if you intend to divorce and need professional help for the same.

We select our marital counsellors and set high standards for their qualifications, skills, and values. We assure you that all TYHO counsellors are empathetic, understanding, and non-judgmental.

Below are some of the non-exhaustive list of issues TYHO counsellors can help with:

Communication issues
Unhealthy patterns of interactions (eg including shifting blame and verbal abuse)
Intimacy and emotional connection
Anger management
Infidelity
Financial disagreements
Sexual issues
Adjusting to life transitions (eg becoming pregnant or having children)
Unemployment
Pregnancy-related issues

Sustaining
Positive Change

Sustaining Positive Change

In marriage counselling, sustaining positive change is a crucial phase that focuses on helping couples integrate the progress made during therapy into their everyday lives.

During this phase, couples are encouraged to self-reflect to gain deeper insight into their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Therapists guide couples in exploring their personal patterns, triggers, and reactions that may impact their relationship.

Therapists provide continued support to couples as they navigate challenges independently. This support can come in the form of follow-up sessions, check-ins, or access to resources and tools that can aid in maintaining the positive changes achieved during therapy.

Therapists emphasise the importance of consistently investing in the relationship. This involves engaging in activities that nurture the bond between partners, such as date nights, shared hobbies, or regular quality time together.

By implementing these therapeutic strategies, couples can create a solid foundation for lasting happiness and fulfilment in the relationship.

Issues People Seek Marriage Counselling For

Who is marriage counselling for?

How do we know whether to go for marriage counselling?

What can I do if my spouse does not want to go for marriage counselling?

Who is marriage counselling for?

Marriages often come with their own struggles and complications.

On one hand, spouses may have problems like parental stress or sex-related issues and may struggle to find any joy and spark in their dynamic.

On the other hand, people involved in a marriage can be happy together yet might also struggle to manage various conflicts, such as opening up to each other or finding it hard to balance family and relationship roles.

Such problems in a marriage can be complex and hard to navigate all alone. The relationship issues may be recursive as well.

TYHO marriage counsellors are skilled in several evidence-based techniques like the Gottman Method, Emotion-focused Couples Therapy (EFCT), etc. TYHO offers therapy in Singapore to help spouses:

Recognise the causes(s) of their conflicts
Learn tools to improve their communication skills and assertiveness
Develop conflict resolution skills
Understand and manage financial issues effectively
Learn how to resolve and stop disagreements or fights in a healthy way
Gain insight into each other's parenting styles and personal contribution to the family

We encourage you to seek help together with your spouse, even if only one of you wants professional help. Having a conversation with your spouse about the reasons for seeking help and doing so will help prevent several issues and conflicts from arising in the future.

Please remember that your marriage does not have to be strained for you to seek marriage counselling.

If either you or your spouse feel like you might benefit from some professional help and guidance or may even need an objective and non-judgemental perspective on your relationship, you can book a marriage counselling session with TYHO.

How do we know whether to go for marriage counselling?

We recommend marriage counselling for those who find that they:

Feel uncomfortable communicating with their spouse about problems in the marriage
Realise that arguments about the same few issues resurface repeatedly
Experience a lack of intimacy or other sex-related problems with their spouse
Don’t feel like they are of equal status in the marriage as their spouse
Feel indifferent to problems in their marriage
No longer enjoy spending quality time with their spouse
Feel lonely even when they are around their spouse
Dread going home to face their spouse
Realise that they or their spouse are keeping secrets from each other
Recognise elements of emotional or physical abuse in their marriage

What can I do if my spouse does not want to go for marriage counselling?

TYHO marriage counsellors will act as an active intermediary between you and your spouse during therapy.

Our marriage counsellors are equipped with various skill sets like active listening, problem-solving abilities, empathy, and analytical thinking to help you during the most difficult moments in your marriage.

The below points are some of what marriage counsellors do during therapy:

Maintain a neutral conversational ground

open dialogue. Talking about your feelings with each other in a professional environment can help you express yourself and communicate honestly.

Please be assured that the marriage counsellors will avoid ‘taking sides’ and are skilled to identify and steer the conversation before it becomes unhealthy (eg hurting each other, fighting, blaming, shifting responsibilities etc.)

In other words, marriage counsellors will provide equal opportunities for you and your spouse to talk about your perspectives, feelings, concerns, and so on.

For example, marriage counsellors use approaches like the Gottmann Method to make sure that you and your spouse take away shared meaning and value from every session.

Using tools like love maps (eg answering a set of questions to know each other better and to create a strong foundation for your friendship and intimacy), marriage counsellors will prepare you to cope with conflicts and issues in a healthy way.

Active listening

TYHO marriage counsellors in Singapore practise active listening – a key element of marriage therapy. Counsellors listen actively during therapy initially to build rapport with you and your spouse.

Active listening can involve paying deep attention to your conversations, absorbing the information you share, and reflecting on your feelings and thoughts (through questions and body language) on you and your marriage.

Counsellors may also participate in the conversation by reiterating the issues to everyone in the therapy room to ensure that you and your spouse accurately understand the details.

Exploring underlying issues

Sometimes, certain conflicts in the marriage can arise due to individual problems like low self-esteem and loneliness. For example, having low self-esteem can lead to multiple dynamics. If you have low self-esteem, you may:

Feel jealous and insecure in the marriage
Question your worthiness to your spouse
Feel like your spouse likes you out of pity or familiarity
Fear that your spouse will leave you

Marriage counsellors may help you identify these issues that may not be immediately obvious.

Another similar example is if you seek marriage therapy due to fighting or frequently having a difference of opinion.

In that case, TYHO counsellors in Singapore may use solution-focused therapy (SFT) to analyse and help solve issues like lack of trust, anger management, communication difficulties, and other issues in the marriage dynamics.

An example of an effective tool in SFT is goal clarification. Your marriage therapist will ask you to imagine a future without your current marital problem. Then, with guidance and questioning, counsellors will help you implement your imagination in your current relationship.

The role of marriage counsellors is particularly important here as married couples can often find it difficult to identify their problems and instead tend to wind up in the same arguments repeatedly.

Rediscover strengths in the marriage

Interestingly, many married couples think that marriage counsellors are only around to help identify the problems.

A common question couples ask is, "How can a marriage counsellor actually help? If I earn less than my spouse and feel bad about it, going to therapy will not help increase my salary.”

Apprehensions and doubts like the above statement about marital therapy are valid and a good question. Money and marriage are interconnected in more ways than one, and various aspects like gender roles, marriage, family, and societal expectations can play a role in the conflict.

Although marriage counsellors cannot increase your salary, they can help you openly discuss your feelings with your spouse. Counsellors use tools like Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you:

Focus on each other's strengths and weaknesses
Express compassion and acceptance
Explore your financial goals and dreams individually and as a married couple
Your value when it comes to working on jobs and working at home (eg taking care of the house, children, or other family members)
Find a middle ground on marriage expectations and roles (eg including who works and who takes care of the children).

Although finance issue is just one example, marriage counsellors will help you similarly in all aspects of your personal and married life.

You will also begin to see and understand your strengths as a married couple and what you have done right in the marriage.

Re-discovering your personal and shared strengths with your marriage counsellor can encourage and improve your confidence.

What Couples Say

I recently had the pleasure of working with Edmund for couples counselling, and I have to say that it was an incredibly positive experience. Edmund was incredibly empathetic and understanding, and he helped my partner and I resolve communication issues that had been causing a lot of tension in our relationship.

Alyssa is very helpful in helping us as a couple to communicate better, which in turn helps us to understand each other better. She provides practical advise and tools for us to practice as well. I’m glad I’m found out about Alyssa through the platform.

Kayden is very approachable and is able to make me feel very comfortable, as if I have known her for a long time. She is able to unpack the issues shared to find the root cause and how we can work on it without any judgement. She has helped me to identify my emotions and reframe my thinking process. After working with her, I learned to handle my past experience more positively, and learned to better communicate with my partner.

I had a good live chat conversation with Alyssa. She is a great listener – she made me feel better as I was able to discuss my troubles with her openly. If you are looking for a setting that is relaxing and without judgment, take the first step and try out TYHO.

Jeanette is very friendly, open, and didn’t judge me for the things I said even when my thoughts were messy and all over the place — she lets me talk through the issues I needed to think about and offered kind support. In particular, I appreciate her her candour and openness to discussing issues (even when my thoughts are quite scattered).

What to Expect at Marriage Counselling

Deciding to go for marriage counselling might seem daunting. For most couples, the first few sessions may seem unfamiliar and confusing.

There is also an added pressure arising from the need to find the right therapist, cost considerations, location, and lack of willingness for both partners to attend sessions regularly.

Your marriage counsellor will journey with you as you and your partner undertake the following:

Delve into the history of the relationship

When you and your partner meet a counsellor for the first time, they may ask about how you and your partner met, what brought the both of you together, how the relationship has progressed over time as well as how both partners feel about the relationship at present.

These questions allow them to understand the relationship dynamics better and work with you and your partner on what led the situation to its current state.

Acknowledge stressors in the marriage

Recognising that there are issues in your relationship can be difficult and, at times, dispiriting.

However, this first step of awareness and acknowledgement prompts you and your partner to pursue mutual understanding, acceptance and growth, all of which are helpful in improving your marriage.

During the counselling session, you and your partner can raise the different stressors in the marriage to your counsellor.

They may take the form of recurring arguments, complex situations that have been overlooked or deliberately avoided, anxiety in light of relationship transitions (e.g. marriage, parenthood), or even issues you foresee might become potential points of conflict.

Across these discussions, being open and honest with your counsellor is also important. This ensures that your counsellor can discern the underlying problems in the relationship and provide the right support for both partners in the relationship.

In the initial meetings with your counsellor, you and your partner may find certain topics sensitive and uncomfortable to broach.

Nonetheless, always remember that marriage counselling is an avenue that enables safe and confidential exchanges. Only you and your partner can judge the marriage, not anyone else.

Address any differences

In a marriage, both partners may come from vastly different backgrounds (culture, faith, education) or face different contextual circumstances in everyday life (e.g. support network, profession, workplace environment).

While at first glance, these factors seem extraneous and unrelated to the problems you and your partner are facing in the relationship, they may explain why both partners diverge in opinions and come into conflict.

Navigating through these differences with your counsellor ensures that both partners arrive at a more comprehensive picture of the problem at hand.

Agree on outcomes and achieve balance

What every couple anticipates from counselling will differ vastly, and there is no universal, one-size-fits-all goal for therapy.

Hence, both partners jointly envisaging and agreeing on the outcomes they hope to see in their relationship is a prominent part of marriage counselling.

Having a common outcome or a goal in mind can help both partners work towards building a healthy and positive relationship with a more precise direction. It also serves as a constant reminder of what they are striving towards, especially when the same problems resurface occasionally.

At the beginning of the marriage counselling journey, envisaging goals can be perplexing as both you and your partner may be new to therapy and unsure of what to expect.

Nonetheless, you can approach your counsellor for insights on marriage goal setting and start by agreeing on smaller, more attainable improvements you and your partner would want to see.

Moreover, note that these outcomes are not stagnant and may change with time as the dynamics between the couple changes.

In addition, partners may not immediately see eye to eye with regard to the outcomes of marriage counselling. Finding and maintaining a balance in the relationship is essential when couples have divergent goals.

Each partner's perspectives can be shared with your counsellor, where negotiations on what to focus on first can occur. Remember that marriage counselling involves collaboration and compromise, and your counsellor is here to help.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the cost of marriage counselling?

How long does marriage counselling go for?

How does online marriage counselling work?

What can I do after marriage counseling?

What is the cost of marriage counselling?

The cost of marriage counselling for an hour-long session typically depends on the organisation or platform approached.

These charges are subject to slight variations as some organisations do offer package rates.

At Talk Your Heart Out, we strive to keep our prices transparent, competitive and affordable while still providing access to quality marriage counselling services.

How long does marriage counselling go for?

There is no prescribed timeline for how long marriage counselling lasts as the dynamics of every relationship and the motivations for seeking therapy can differ from couple to couple.

Several factors that result in the varying length of therapy include:

Nature and Complexity of Issue(s)

As mentioned previously, there are many reasons couples go for therapy together.

On the one hand, some couples only seek support at a particular point in their relationship.

For instance, some couples may require assistance to tide through a difficult conversation.

On the other hand, other couples may be dealing with long-standing communication problems.

Furthermore, there are also others who may be amidst resolving more complex issues such as substance abuse or violence.

In these situations, the length of marriage counselling is typically expected to be longer as couples may require a longer time to open up and rebuild trust in their relationship.

Commitment and Frequency of Sessions

Partners may have divergent or clashing schedules and may be unable to commit to counselling sessions regularly.

The low frequency of sessions can potentially prolong the length of marriage counselling.

Couples who are attending sessions spaced months apart may need to fill the counsellor in on the events that have elapsed in the time as well as the current state of the relationship.

Engagement Across Sessions

The idea of marriage counselling is often foreign to many. As such, the readiness to engage in therapy varies among couples and partners.

Couples who find it hard to open up may need to attend marriage counselling for a longer period of time before the relationship takes a turn for the better.

Conversely, couples who demonstrate positive therapeutic engagement will likely observe positive developments in their relationship more quickly.

How does online marriage counselling work?

At Talk Your Heart Out, we also offer marriage counselling through an online medium.

For many couples, online counselling is preferred as it is more streamlined and accessible than an in-person visit.

Some reasons why couples would opt for online counselling:

Location

When both partners reside in different countries, online counselling may be more applicable as it overcomes the geographical barriers couples may face.

It allows both parties to attend the sessions regardless of distance and time difference.

Uncertainty with Traditional Therapy

Couples may find in-person therapy challenging and uncomfortable.

Hence, access to online counselling services reduces the stigma surrounding therapy and the initial apprehension.

Comfort

Couples who prefer to attend counselling in a more familiar and casual environment may find online counselling to be a perk as it can take place in the comfort of their homes.

A comfortable setting can help partners ease into the therapeutic process more quickly.

Work

Some partners may be in occupational roles where they have to travel frequently.

In these situations, online therapy would, similarly, be more beneficial and convenient as hectic travelling schedules would not compromise the seeking of therapy.

What can I do after marriage counseling?

After attending sessions together, couples often wonder how else they can facilitate their counselling journey. Some suggestions are:

Reflect at your own pace

Take time between sessions to process what has been shared during therapy and ponder over the input from your counsellor.

Reflecting on the conversation between you, your partner, and your counsellor in your own time can help to increase your awareness and understanding of the present issue or situation.

Consistent reflection also allows you to regulate your emotions more and prepare for the next session without feeling overwhelmed.

Exercise patience towards occasional hiccups

Change and adaptation take courage and time.

As you and your spouse attempt to work on the feedback shared during counselling sessions, there may be occasions where both partners revert to old habits and frustrate each other.

Try to be patient with your partner and give in to them rather than criticise their actions in these situations.

Accepting that progress is not linear and being empathetic towards your partner can prevent arguments from escalating out of control.

Check in and consider next steps

After several sessions of marriage counselling, it may be helpful to check how your partner feels about the past few meetings with the counsellor and share your takeaways with them.

Both partners can schedule a recurring time to assess if the objectives and desired outcomes that were agreed upon at the beginning of the counselling journey have been met.

Beyond that, both partners can also start to consider their next step forward regarding their relationship.

For instance, after overcoming the issues that were brought up in the initial counselling sessions, couples can work out other aspects of the marriage they wish to improve on.

Marriage Counselling Global