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Category: Online Counselling

All You Need to Know About Premarital Counselling

Posted on by rootal

As you wait to begin a new chapter in your relationship, you may need to do a lot of planning for the wedding.  

But have you ever thought about the steps you may have to take to ensure you ease into the new chapter without any hurdles?  

What roles will you take on in the marriage? What is your spouse responsible for? How are you planning to maintain your spark?  

You may have several questions and concerns about how you want your married life to look life.  

This is where premarital counselling can help you. This type of counselling can help you talk about ‘big topics’ like finance, responsibilities, plans for kids, career life and so on.  

Premarital counselling is a good way to make your relationship stronger before you even start your married life.  

Your Singaporean counsellor may give you the space to talk honestly about your hopes and worries about the future.  

This article is a guide to premarital counselling: who should seek it, what it can help with, and how to get started! 

This Article Contains:

What Is Premarital Counseling?

Premarital counselling is a type of therapy you can take before you get married.  

We recommend that you seek counselling if you are in a long-term or live-in relationship or planning to marry soon.  

During premarital counselling, you will have the space to: 

  • Talk about your current relationship problems 
  • Talk about your personal problems 
  • Understand each other’s needs and expectations 
  • Set healthy boundaries 
  • Get to know each other better 
  • Learn conflict-resolution skills 
  • Create goals for marriage and your life together 

Similarly, couples also go to premarital counselling to evaluate their relationship and fix any problems before they worsen.  

Your online Therapist in Singapore will work with you and your partner to identify the problems.  

Rest assured that your Therapist will not judge you and will provide unconditional support for your marriage.  

During sessions, you can talk about: 

  • How you would like to manage your finances 
  • How do you plan to spend time together 
  • What your personal, marriage, and emotional needs are and how you hope to address them 
  •  How to make decisions together 

Who Should Seek Premarital Counseling?

If you are planning to get married, you may wonder if you need premarital counselling. 

Most couples believe that if there are problems in their relationship, they may have to split up or seek counselling only when things are already at their worst.  

However, your problems don’t have to be ‘big’ to seek counselling. What is big is subjective to the couple and their situation.  

On one hand, if you feel the need to improve your relationship or simply wish to seek some guidance before marriage, premarital counselling can help you.  

For example, if you want to get to know your partner well or understand how marriage can change your dynamics, you can learn a lot during counselling. 

If you have never talked to a counsellor before, pre-martial counselling can be a good first step.  

On the other hand, counselling can also help you solve problems such as lack of trust, misunderstandings, arguments with parents-in-law, frequent conflicts, etc.  

Couple receiving premarital counselling.

What Premarital Counseling Can Help With

Premarital counselling can help you prepare for your married life together with your partner.  

The list below is not exhaustive. There are no off-topics during counselling. Even if an issue or aspect is not listed in this section, you can explore how to handle it with your marriage counsellor.  

Some of the common aspects that premarital counselling can help with include: 

  • Understanding each other better: You may learn how to recognise your partner’s emotions and vice versa.  
  • Setting realistic goals and expectations: Counselling can help you understand that marriage can have its own ups and downs. Based on the nature of your relationship, you may learn how to create expectations and meet them.  
  • Making plans for the future: You can discuss your goals, dreams, needs, and ideas for marriage. Your counsellor may help you create a realistic plan and meet your goals through tools like solution-focused therapy! 

Apart from the above, you can also expect to overcome issues such as: 

  • Anger in the relationship 
  • Differences in opinions 
  • Sex-related issues 
  • Problems with emotional intimacy  
  • Issues with close family members 

Get Started With Premarital Counselling

Both you and your partner may need to be willing to seek premarital counselling. If your partner hesitates, explain why you think counselling can help your relationship and what you hope to gain from it. 

Sometimes, people may think that something is wrong with them if you suggest counselling. Try to break that myth and tell your partner that you love them and think counselling can help you both.  

Discuss your observations with your partner if you previously attended individual counselling in Singapore. Your progress in therapy can motivate them to seek help! 

To get started with premarital counselling, try to find someone who can help meet your needs.  

Discuss what areas you wish to focus on with your partner and seek someone to address the issues.  

Attend a few counselling sessions to gauge if your Therapist is the right fit. If either you or your partner feels uncomfortable, look for another expert! 

Remember to communicate openly with your marriage counsellor about your expectations for therapy.  

Noticing progress may take some time. However, with consistency and willingness to improve your relationship, you may soon notice all the changes before you get married! 

 

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10 Common Mental Health Issues Addressed by Counsellors

Posted on by rootal

Mental health is a big part of our lives. The state of our mind can affect how we think, feel, and handle situations every day.  

Just like anyone can catch the flu, anyone can face mental health issues, too.  

In this article, let us explore the 10 common mental health issues. Some of these include anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, and trauma.  

We also share how TYHO counsellors in Singapore can help you manage these common mental health issues.  

This Article Contains:

10 Common Mental Health Issues

1. Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)

ADHD is when a person finds it hard to pay attention, stay still, or control their actions more than other people their age.  

People with ADHD have unique symptoms, and the signs can differ based on factors such as cultural upbringing, environment, etc. Some might have trouble focusing, while others might be very active or engage in impulsive behaviours.  

Counsellors in Singapore can help people with ADHD. Counsellors use approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help improve attention and control over actions. 

Learning how to manage ADHD can make life easier at school, work, and home.   

Also See: Do I Have ADHD or Am I Just Lazy 

People express love in unique and different ways – all wrapped in beautiful layers of their upbringings, personalities, environments, and needs. Hence, do keep in mind that the love languages mentioned in this article are the five overarching themes of Chapman’s research – and not a universal determiner of love itself. 

Lastly, love is so diverse that it appears and exists in cultures in ways so complex – yet so universally understood. 

2. Eating Disorders

Eating disorders cause distress due to disorders and unhealthy relationships with food and one’s own body image.  

If you have an eating disorder, you may suffer from several types of symptoms such as: 

  • Behavioural symptoms 
  • Emotional symptoms 
  • Physical symptoms 

Moreover, risk factors such as weight bullying, body image issues, and beauty standards can further worsen the symptoms.  

You May Like Reading: Mental Health and Body Positivity 

During counselling in Singapore, you can expect to: 

  • Heal from your disordered eating 
  • Develop a positive self-image 
  • Regain healthy eating habits  

At TYHO, we offer the below counselling services to help you cope with an eating disorder: 

Counsellors might also use effective therapeutic tools to help you think differently about food and yourself.  

A person sitting at a table, struggling to decide between a plate of salad and a plate of burgers, indicates a common mental health issue.

3. Anorexia Nervosa

Anorexia Nervosa is a common mental health issue where someone doesn’t eat enough because they fear gaining weight.  

Anyone, regardless of their age, ethnicity, or sex, can suffer from anorexia nervosa 

People with anorexia see themselves as overweight, even if they are very thin. They eat extremely less and can become dangerously underweight.  

This condition also affects how people see themselves and their bodies.  

Getting help from professional counsellors is important for recovery. Counsellors in Singapore can offer support and personalised therapeutic plans to help someone start to eat more and feel better about themselves. 

4. Anxiety Disorder

Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) is a common mental health issue where someone worries too much about several aspects of life, such as: 

  • Health 
  • Work 
  • Relationships 

The persistent worry is so strong that it can make daily tasks harder to accomplish and affect a person’s interpersonal relationships. 

Although GAD is a long-term condition, TYHO Therapists can help you in managing and overcoming anxiety.  

Therapists may use expert tools to help you: 

Therapy can also help in improving relationships with family, work colleagues, and friends.  

5. Social Anxiety

Social anxiety disorder is a common mental health issue and involves intense fear of social situations.  

Some of the common symptoms include:  

  • Fear of being judged or embarrassed in public 
  • Avoiding social gatherings 
  • Difficulty speaking in groups 
  • Fear of meeting new people 
  • Worrying for days before a social event 

Counsellors at TYHO use scientific tools such as solution-focused brief therapy (SFBT) to help clients: 

  • Identify emotional and social triggers 
  • Overcome negative thinking patterns 
  • Develop solutions to overcome social anxiety 

Seeking help from a counsellor in Singapore can significantly improve confidence and reduce the impact of social anxiety on daily life. 

6. Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

OCD is a common mental health issue where people may have unwanted thoughts (ie obsessions) and engage in compulsive behaviours to cope with the thoughts (ie compulsions).   

Symptoms include: 

  • Constant, intrusive thoughts 
  • Repeatedly checking things (like locks or stove) 
  • Excessive cleaning or handwashing 
  • Arranging items in a specific way 
  • Repeating actions a certain number of times 

Based on the specific type of OCD, your counsellor in Singapore may help you overcome and resist the compulsions.  

Counselling can be crucial in managing OCD and improving quality of life.

7. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

PTSD is a common mental health issue and can occur after and during a traumatic event.   

Symptoms include: 

  • Vivid flashbacks of the trauma 
  • Severe anxiety and constant alertness 
  • Nightmares and disturbed sleep 
  • Avoidance of anything related to the trauma 

Counsellors at TYHO use several types of trauma-informed approaches to help you process and heal from your trauma.  

Using techniques like exposure therapy, your counsellor may help you address your trauma to gradually reduce the fear in a controlled environment.  

8. Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a common mental health issue characterised by extreme mood swings. The disorder includes two major types of moods: mania and depression.   

Common symptoms include: 

  • High energy and euphoria during manic phases 
  • Impulsive or reckless behaviours 
  • Deep sadness and lack of energy during depressive phases 
  • Difficulty in concentrating and making decisions 

Counsellors in Singapore may use cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to help: 

  • Change your negative thought patterns 
  • Control and manage your emotions 
  • Improve romantic relationships 
  • Improve relationships with your family members 
A person struggling to concentrate at work due to a common mental health issue.

9. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

BPD is a common mental health issue that can cause emotional dysregulation (ie unable to manage or control emotions) and affect relationships.   

Symptoms include:  

  • Fear of abandonment 
  • Intense, unstable relationships 
  • Impulsive actions 
  • Extreme emotional swings 
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness 
  • Self-harm or suicidal behaviour 

Counsellors use proven techniques such as dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) to improve emotional regulation.  

Importantly, through tools such as DBT and CBT, you may learn how to manage your emotions, replace negative thoughts, and improve your relationships.  

You May Like Reading: Overcoming Mental Health Illness Through Counselling  

10. Addictions

Addiction (ie substance and non-substance) is a common mental health issue that involves a compulsive need for substances or engaging in harmful behaviours despite harmful consequences.  

Common symptoms include:  

  • Craving the substance or behaviour 
  • Loss of control over usage 
  • Withdrawal symptoms when trying to quit 
  • Neglecting responsibilities and relationships 

Counsellors may use SFBT to identify triggers and develop effective solutions to overcome addiction.  

Based on the type of addiction (ie substance and non-substance), your counsellor may choose one or several tools to help you. 

Visit our Singapore counsellors page to seek help today.  

You are not alone! 

 

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Strengthening Mental Resilience Through Counselling 

Posted on by rootal

We face several challenges in every stage of life. Sometimes, the problems may multiply, making it hard for us to cope.  

We may hear advice like “Be strong” or “You’ll get through this.” But how do we actually do that? What does it mean to be strong during hard times?  

We can all develop mental resilience to bounce back from challenges. However, it can get hard to understand how to develop mental resilience and what skills to focus on.  

This is where counselling in Singapore can help. Counselling gives you the space to talk about your issues and find solutions to tackle them.  

With a Singapore psychologist’s help, you can learn skills to develop coping methods.  

As Jeffrey Gitomer said, ‘Resilience is not what happens to you. It’s how you react to, respond to, and recover from what happens to you.’ 

In this article, we will look into the benefits of counselling for developing mental resilience.  

This Article Contains:

What Is Mental Resilience?

Mental resilience is like a muscle in your brain that helps you get through difficult situations.  

When you are resilient, you may be able to pick yourself up after a challenging event and keep moving forward.  

Resilience is a skill that includes several aspects, such as: 

However, developing mental resilience does not mean you are on your own. You can be resilient and still seek professional or social support to get through hard times.  

For example, if you feel sad for no reason, mental resilience – although necessary – may not help overcome your sadness.  

In situations such as the above, a psychologist in Singapore can help you replace negative thoughts and emotions with a positive one.  

People express love in unique and different ways – all wrapped in beautiful layers of their upbringings, personalities, environments, and needs. Hence, do keep in mind that the love languages mentioned in this article are the five overarching themes of Chapman’s research – and not a universal determiner of love itself. 

Lastly, love is so diverse that it appears and exists in cultures in ways so complex – yet so universally understood. 

Resilience and Mental Health

Mental resilience has a strong and positive influence on our mental health.  

Being strong does not mean that you may never feel upset or emotional. Instead, you may be able to get through difficulties more effectively whilst also taking care of your emotional wellbeing.  

Community and social support, apart from a psychologist’s help, can also make a big difference. 

To be happy, keeping your mind healthy and taking care of your mental wellness is important.  

Also See: 5 Self-Care Tips for Mental Health 

If you suffer from a disorder or a particular issue, such as low self-esteem, it can be difficult to develop mental resilience.  

Hence, in the next section, let us explore how psychologists in Singapore can help you.   

Two people hugging each other for support, showing mental resilience and empathy.

Psychological Support to Develop Mental Resilience

Mental resilience is like a muscle; the more you work on it, the stronger it gets.  

At Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO), our Singapore psychologists can help you develop mental resilience through counselling.  

Below are some tools you can expect to encounter during counselling sessions. 

Your Therapist in Singapore may use cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to help replace your negative thought patterns with positive ones.   

Another common approach your psychologist may use during sessions is mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBDR) therapy.  

During MBDR therapy, you will learn how to slow down and reduce stress through mindfulness techniques.  

Eventually, you will notice your thoughts without feeling overwhelmed by them.  

Positive psychology interventions (PPIs) are a therapeutic tool that can help you focus on what you’re thankful for and your achievements and strengths.  

Similarly, your psychologist may also use solution-focused brief therapy to help you develop quick and effective solutions to solve the problem.  

Psychologists in Singapore may either use one approach or a combination of several approaches to help you deal with root issues such as: 

Read: Why Does My Mom Hate Me? Reasons You May Feel This Way 

Types of Professional Support

Resilience has several types, some of which include: 

  • Physical resilience 
  • Mental resilience 
  • Emotional resilience  
  • Social resilience 
  • Work resilience 

For each type of mental resilience, we may need specific support. 

TYHO psychologists offer several different types of services. 

Some of our services include: 

A couple attending couples counselling to work on their mental resilience.

Benefits Of Counselling For Mental Resilience

Building mental resilience helps you deal with life’s ups and downs better.  

Counselling tools like CBT are a great way to strengthen this resilience.  

Below are some of the benefits of counselling: 

  • In counselling, you will discover what you are good at. Self-awareness boosts your confidence and helps you tackle challenges more effectively.  
  • Talking to a psychologist can help you see things more clearly (ie from a fresh perspective). Psychologists help you identify problems and develop a personalised therapeutic plan to solve them.  
  • Psychologists teach you new ways to handle stress and emotions. These skills are like tools in your toolbox, ready to help you when you need them. 
  • Seeking support gives you a safe place to talk about your feelings. The non-judgemental space can make you feel lighter and less troubled by them.  
  • Psychologists can make you feel better about yourself. You will learn to spot negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones. Eventually, you feel more in control of your emotions and decisions.  
  • Just talking to someone who understands can make a big difference. It can make you feel less alone and more able to face challenges.  

If you are going through a tough time or would like to focus on personal development, reaching out to psychologists could be a great step. 

Visit our Singapore psychologists page to find a professional now! 

 

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Overcoming Mental Health Illness Through Counselling

Posted on by rootal

Overcoming mental illness without enough social or professional support can seem hard.

However, a counsellor can make the journey to your recovery possible. 

On one hand, counsellors can help you handle mental health issues such as clinical depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder etc. 

On the other hand, counselling in Singapore can also help you manage daily emotional struggles such as low self-esteem, mood swings, lack of confidence, and so on. 

Many people around the world have mental illnesses. In fact, in Singapore, 17% of the population has poor mental health. 

Seeking help through counselling is a brave step, and you are going in the right direction! Counselling can lead to feeling better and making positive changes in your life. 

In this article, we will look into the types of mental health issues and receiving support for mental illness through counselling. We also answer some of the most asked questions about counselling. 

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Types of Mental Health Issues

Mental health issues can deeply affect how we think, feel, and function in this world. Emotional distress can occur from worries we may have frequently to serious problems. 

At Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO), our counsellors in Singapore can help you with personal issues such as mood swings, uncontrollable anger, feeling sad for no reason, feeling emotional all the time etc. 

You can also receive counselling for serious mental illnesses like bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and borderline personality disorder. 

The Mental Health Foundation (MHF) notes that there are two main types of mental health issues:

  1. Neurotic symptoms
  2. Psychotic symptoms

1. Neurotic Symptoms

We may all feel stressed, sad, or anxious at some point in our lives. However, when these emotions become intense and start to interfere with daily functioning – they may indicate neurotic symptoms. 

Neurotic symptoms of mental health issues involve experiencing emotions much more deeply than usual. 

For example, a person might feel anxious about a job interview, which is normal. However, if this anxiety becomes overwhelming, to the point where it affects the person’s performance, they may suffer from an anxiety disorder. 

Some of the mental illnesses associated with neurotic symptoms include:

A lonely and anxious person holding their head in hands and suffering from a mental illness.

2. Psychotic Symptoms

Psychotic symptoms may affect the way we interact with reality. 

For example, psychosis could include hearing or seeing things that are not there or feeling utterly convinced of ideas that don’t match up with the facts (ie thinking that your mother hates you when she doesn’t). 

Mental illnesses associated with psychotic symptoms include: 

  • Schizophrenia
  • Bipolar disorder
  • High-stress or substance abuse

Mental Illness Support Through Counselling

Counselling in Singapore offers a safe environment to manage your emotions and develop skills to navigate your mental health issues more effectively. 

During sessions, you will be talking to an expert counsellor through structured conversations. 

Based on your information and other details, your counsellor will help you observe and recognise patterns that may trigger emotional distress. 

The key aspect that can help you get the most out of counselling is building a healthy relationship with your counsellor. 

The therapeutic alliance you create will significantly influence the speed and quality of your progress during and outside therapy sessions. 

Through counselling, you may learn essential skills to handle your problems. 

Your counsellor will choose a therapeutic approach based on their expertise, your preference, and what works best for your mental health issues. 

Some of the common therapeutic approaches are:

  • Cognitive behavioural therapy
  • Dialectical behavioural therapy
  • Acceptance and commitment therapy
  • Schema therapy
  • Narrative therapy 
  • Mindfulness-based therapy

Frequently Asked Questions

What mental health issues can counselling help with?

Counselling helps with several mental health issues. 

At TYHO, some of the common issues you can seek help for include:

  • Anxiety: Counselling can help you with generalised anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and so on. 
  • Depression: If you feel low all the time or have extreme mood swings, counselling can help you manage your negative emotions. 
  • Addictions: Counsellors in Singapore can help you if you struggle with alcohol dependency or non-substance addictions like excessive shopping or gambling. 
  • Eating disorders: Counselling supports people who have a disordered relationship with food or their body. Counsellors can also help with mental health issues such as poor self-esteem or body image problems. 
  • Personality disorders: Counselling can teach you coping tools if you suffer from personality disorders such as OCPD or dependent personality disorder.
A client talking to a Singapore counsellor about their mental illness and emotional distress.

What happens in the first counselling session?

Before your first session, you may complete an intake form at TYHO.

You will be sharing basic details such as your name, contact information, and age in the form. You may also have to share the contact of someone close to emergencies and write a brief outline of your expectations of counselling.  

As your session begins, your counsellor will take you through the counselling process. 

Each counselling session is unique. Hence, you can share your mental health issues either in the first session or whenever you feel comfortable. 

To understand your needs and issues better, your counsellor may ask you several questions regarding your:

  • Childhood
  • Goals for counselling
  • Personal or work-related issues
  • Family background
  • Past relationships
  • Friendships
  • Hobbies

At any point during the sessions, you can ask questions. Try talking about the therapy approach, style, how soon you can expect to progress, and what you need to do outside sessions. 

Also See: 5 Tips to Choose the Right Counsellor in Singapore

Counsellors at TYHO are non-judgemental and empathetic and will happily answer any questions you may have!

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5 Tips to Choose the Right Counsellor in Singapore

Posted on by rootal

Choosing the right counsellor in Singapore can seem overwhelming at first. However, you can make this process smoother and more effective with a few practical tips. 

Like any other relationship, a client-counsellor relationship is also unique to the people involved. What approach or style works for you may not work for someone else. 

If you are just starting out your mental wellness journey, you may want to know how to recognise the right counsellor for your issues. 

To answer your question, we have expanded on 5 major tips and steps that you can follow to choose the right counsellor in Singapore!

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Identify Your Therapy Goals

Before you choose the right counsellor, you may want to identify your therapy goals. 

Identifying your goals is about understanding what you hope to achieve through therapy. The first step can seem daunting, but it can be simpler than you might think. 

Start by reflecting on what’s bothering you. Your issues could be personal, work-related stress, academic, or interpersonal relationships. 

Next, think about what you wish to do with your problems. Are you hoping to set realistic couple goals? Or are you keen on moving on from your relationship?

Other emotional examples could include solving a problem, such as your struggles to live in a new country, or overcoming a psychological hardship (eg negative thought patterns or feeling sad for no reason).

Your goals can vary widely and can even change every day. Hence, you may want to write down your thoughts in a notebook to refer to while choosing the right counsellor. 

In your notebook, create two lists. Under one list, write down daily challenges you find difficult to handle. These could include finishing your work on time, having no friends, social media addiction etc. 

Under the second list, write down if you are diagnosed with a mental health condition (eg generalised anxiety disorder) or if you suspect that you may have a disorder. 

At Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO), you will find a list of issues our counsellors can help you overcome. The points you note in this first step can be useful when you review the counsellor’s profiles! 

Remember, it is okay if your goals are not yet clear. Therapy is a journey, and your objectives and expectations can evolve over time. 

The important thing is to begin with a direction in mind, even if it is as simple as wanting to feel better.

Front view of a person sitting and writing down therapy goals in a notebook for choosing the right counsellor.

Review the Counsellor’s Profile

The second tip while choosing the right counsellor is to review their full profiles. 

At TYHO, you can visit each counsellor’s profile to review their background. Here, you will find information about the counsellor’s:

  • Qualifications
  • Clinical experience
  • Therapeutic expertise
  • Research backgrounds
  • Therapeutic approach 
  • Issues they help with
  • Languages they speak
  • Personal interests and character

We suggest going through all the information above to choose the right counsellor. In fact, you can also watch their short introductory videos to get to know the counsellor.

During this step, refer to your therapy goals and check if any counsellor can help you with them. 

For example, if you struggle with mood swings, feeling emotional, or fatigue – you can look for counsellors who can help with depression and anxiety. 

Under the section ‘Therapeutic Approaches’, you will find all the techniques a counsellor uses during their sessions. 

Lastly, read the counsellor’s description to better understand where they come from and what kind of help they can offer. 

If you have any questions or requests, feel free to contact us at [email protected].

Ask Questions

When choosing the right counsellor, try to review their therapeutic approach and style. 

Below are some key questions you can consider asking your counsellor before your first therapy session!

  • Firstly, ask about the counsellor’s therapeutic approach. Do they lean towards psychodynamic methods or cognitive-behavioural techniques?
  • Secondly, ask the counsellor about the structure of the sessions. Does the counsellor encourage you to lead with topics on your mind, or are sessions more structured with specific agendas? 
  • Lastly, ask if the counsellor sets clear objectives at the beginning of sessions and how frequently these goals are reviewed. Clarifying goal setting initially can help you stay on the same page as your counsellor.

Asking the above questions can help you set expectations for all the sessions you may wish to attend. 

Do note that at TYHO, our counsellors may share their clinical impressions regularly and provide you with a therapeutic plan based on your needs. 

Hence, if you have any concerns, talk openly with your counsellor to adjust your plan.

A client asking questions to the counsellor during a counselling session. Asking questions can help in choosing the right counsellor!

Consider the Cultural Fit

The fourth step in choosing the right counsellor is considering the cultural fit. 

For example, if you are part of the LGBTQ+ community, you may want to choose a counsellor who is affirming and knowledgeable about LGBTQ+ issues. 

Read: All You Need to Know About Ethical Non-Monogamy

At TYHO, all our counsellors are non-judgmental and open-minded. However, if you are specifically looking for someone with specialisations in LGBTQ+ issues, we recommend checking their full profiles or contacting us for more information!

Some people may prefer to choose a same-sex counsellor. These people may feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts with someone of a specific gender. 

Another important factor includes the counsellor’s background. For example, if you are from an Asian family, a counsellor who understands your culture may be more capable of addressing your issues sensitively. 

We have counsellors in Singapore who speak multiple languages and come from diverse backgrounds. You will find all the information you need about the counsellor in their full profiles!

Do a Comfort Check

The final step in choosing the right counsellor is to do a comfort check. 

Initially, sharing your deepest fears and secrets with someone you have just met can seem scary. Know that the fear and hesitation of starting therapy are common and experienced worldwide. 

Give yourself some time to adjust to therapy. During this time, try to gauge if your counsellor is the right fit for you. 

After each session, take some time out to reflect on a few aspects. Do you feel a sense of relief? Did you feel understood and validated by your counsellor? You may have the right fit if you answer yes to both questions!

The right counsellor will listen to you actively and engage with you in a way that helps you think outside the box and from a fresh perspective. 

If you find that the fit isn’t quite right after giving it some time, do not hesitate to change your counsellor.

Visit our Singapore counselling page to read more about our counsellors.

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Mental Health Counselling in Singapore: Types & Benefits

Posted on by rootal

Mental health counselling in Singapore is a key support for those feeling down or emotionally distressed. 

Counselling helps you understand your feelings and improve how you cope with daily life issues. Talking to a counsellor might be the right step if everyday tasks feel too hard. 

According to 2022 research, nearly 14.1% of Singaporeans have depression, and 15.2% have anxiety. In total, 20% may have symptoms of depression or anxiety. 

Many people in Singapore struggle with their mental health but avoid seeking help because of fear of judgement. The good news is things are changing. More people are learning about mental health, and finding help is getting easier.

You can improve your life and relationships through offline or online mental health counselling.

This article briefly discusses the types of counselling and why counselling is good for mental health!

This Article Contains:

What Is Mental Health Counselling?

Mental health counselling in Singapore is a space for you to understand and manage your emotions. 

At Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO), we offer counselling services for various psychological challenges. 

Some of the issues we help with include stress, anxiety, depression, burnout, and relationship issues (eg being in a relationship with a narcissist).

You may wonder why counselling is good for mental health and how a professional can help you with something so unique to your situation.

During counselling, you may talk to a trained counsellor about your feelings and thoughts. All TYHO counsellors are empathetic and will guide you through personalised strategies for coping and growth. 

Hence, regardless of your problem, your counsellor will work with you to reach a state of peace. 

The process of mental health counselling in Singapore is collaborative. In other words, your counsellor will work with you to identify goals and develop skills to handle difficult situations. 

Mental health counselling can help you navigate a tough period in life, cope with a disorder, or if you would like to understand your emotions better. 

A counsellor holding a client’s hand for support during mental health counselling in Singapore.

Types of Mental Health Counselling in Singapore

At TYHO, we provide different types of mental health counselling in Singapore to diagnose and help improve your overall wellbeing. 

In this section, you can find out more about the types of psychotherapy a professional may use during counselling. 

The therapeutic plan and approach may vary based on your preferences, your counsellor’s recommendations, and the intensity of your issues. 

Hence, try to have an open and honest conversation with your counsellor about what works best for you!

The primary type of counselling used during sessions is psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is a type of talk therapy where you may engage in a conversation with a mental health counsellor to address your issues. 

Individuals, couples, children, and family members can attend psychotherapy either individually or along with their loved ones. 

For example, couples can attend sessions together during couples counselling in Singapore. However, a partner may go for individual counselling if they wish to attend a session alone. 

At its core, psychotherapy aims to teach people about the complex relationship between their emotions, thoughts, and actions. 

By doing so, the person may gain self-awareness and empower them to view their challenges from a fresh perspective. 

During mental health counselling in Singapore, your counsellor may use either one or multiple approaches to suit your unique needs. 

Some of the common types among these are cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT), and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT).

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a type of mental health counselling that may help you understand how your thoughts, feelings, and actions influence each other. 

Initially, CBT identifies that negative behaviours often originate from counterproductive thoughts. You may learn how to reframe your thoughts to handle difficult situations. 

In therapy sessions, your counsellor will guide you through introspective exercises. These activities will help you identify and understand your cognitive biases (ie thinking that everything is your fault).

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT)

DBT is a structured therapeutic approach that combines tools from CBT and mindfulness practices. 

DBT focuses on four key elements. These include mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. 

Through DBT techniques, you will learn how to manage stress, control your emotions, and improve relationships.

Partners looking content and happy spending time together after mental health counselling in Singapore.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT is a type of mental health counselling that focuses on accepting emotions and thoughts without struggle. 

The main idea of ACT is to ‘make room’ for thoughts without judging them or trying to get rid of them as soon as possible. 

ACT helps shift your focus from fighting your feelings to acknowledging and letting them pass. 

Therefore, the shift in your perspective can allow you to engage in life more fully and make decisions based on what matters to you.

Why Is Counselling Good for Mental Health?

We may all have wondered why counselling is good for mental health. Why not talk to a friend about it or seek advice from a mentor? 

Counselling is different from talking to our loved ones. While your friend may hear you out and offer advice, your counsellor is an expert at recognising patterns and hints from your behaviours and thoughts that you may otherwise have missed. 

See: Have No Friends? Here’s How to Thrive

The patterns in your behaviours may, therefore, provide crucial insight into why you feel the way you do and what skills might help you handle your issues better. 

Moreover, unconditional validation and support from your counsellor may help you feel understood and less alone. 

Below are four important points on why counselling is good for mental health:

  • Emotional support: Mental health counselling in Singapore offers a space to express your feelings without fear of judgement or ridicule.
  • Coping strategies: Your counsellor will teach you specific and personalised coping methods that you can use to overcome negative emotions. At TYHO, we believe that you are the best judge of your life. Hence, your counsellor will ensure that you are independent and self-reliant. In other words, the skills you learn in therapy can be used long after your sessions end. 
  • Improved relationships: Through mental health counselling, you can improve your communication skills and the way you interact with your loved ones. When you understand your partner better, you will notice an improvement in your bond and affection!
  • Personal growth: Counselling can teach you how to reflect and better understand yourself. Through individual mental health counselling in Singapore, you may learn your strengths and align your life with your values. 
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Counselling Services in Singapore

Posted on by rootal

Singapore is a country where the pace of life never seems to slow down. Finding a moment of peace or rest can, therefore, feel impossible. 

Moreover, personal issues such as lack of self-esteem, poor self-image, loneliness, and having no friends can increase emotional distress.

In fact, 2023 research conducted in Singapore showed that around 14.1% of Singaporean adults had depression, and 15.2% had symptoms of anxiety. 

The statistics show that it is more important than ever to find a professional space to improve our mental wellness. 

This Article Contains:

Choosing the Best Counselling Services

Choosing the best counselling services in Singapore is about seeking help and learning to live a more balanced life. 

In other words, counselling is for everyone. You can seek help to cope with a specific psychological issue or if you simply want more guidance and direction in your life.

At Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO), we understand the problems faced by individuals, couples, and families in Singapore. 

Our counselling services are designed to meet you where you are. Through the vast range of services, we hope to listen, understand, and help improve your overall wellbeing.

We provide various information to help you choose the right service for you. For example, you will find information about our Singapore counsellor’s qualifications, expertise, background, languages they speak, issues they help with, and so on.

Counselling Services in Singapore

Individual Counselling Services

During individual counselling, you will be talking one-on-one with a counsellor. We offer individual counselling services in Singapore through online or in-person sessions. 

TYHO counsellors can help with several issues, such as depression, anxiety disorders, eating disorders, low self-esteem, life transitions etc. 

Counselling is also a space to find ways to deal with everyday challenges. For example, coping with loss or adjusting to a new life situation (ie adopting a pet or moving to a different place).

Whether you are an adult, teen, or child, we’ve got someone who can help. Visit our Singapore counselling page to get started.

Couples Counselling Services

During couples counselling, you and your partner will learn how to gain understanding and empathy towards each other. 

We offer couples counselling services in Singapore through online and in-person sessions. Your therapeutic plan will be designed based on your unique needs and problems. 

During sessions, you will learn how to set boundaries respectfully and express your needs clearly. 

Also See: 5 Languages of Love: Thinking Across Culture & Geography

TYHO couples counsellors specialise in helping with issues such as lack of trust, communication gaps, frequent conflicts, and intimacy.

A couple sitting on a couch opposite to a therapist during couple counselling service in Singapore. The therapist is shaking hands with one of the couples.

Marriage Counselling Services

We offer the best counselling services in Singapore for couples who may wish to improve and work on their relationships.

At TYHO, we understand that every marriage faces unique challenges.

You may attend online or offline sessions with your spouse during marriage counselling.

Marriage counselling at TYHO will allow you to express your feelings safely.

You can expect to handle financial disagreements, parenting styles, emotional disconnect, and frequent arguments. 

You can gain insights into your marriage and work together with your spouse and counsellor towards a happy and healthy marriage.

Family Counselling Services

During family counselling, you can understand the unique dynamics that develop in your household. 

TYHO family counselling services in Singapore are available online and in person.

We understand that communication issues may arise due to conflicts or arguments in the family. 

Hence, through counselling, you can expect to deal with issues such as generational gaps, sibling rivalries, gaslighting parents, and lack of honest communication. 

Explore our best counselling services and discover how we can support your family’s journey towards better mental wellbeing.

A child gives a high five to a counsellor during counselling services in Singapore. The child is sitting along with their parents opposite to the therapist.

Child Counselling Services

Child counselling at TYHO is designed with your child in mind. Our approach is gentle and focuses on creating a safe environment where kids can express their feelings. 

During sessions, children can cope with issues such as bullying, learning difficulties, anxiety, and mood swings.

Children may engage in one-on-one conversations with our counsellors. Experts at TYHO use age-appropriate tools such as motivational interviewing (MI). 

MI is used to encourage children to open up about their feelings through open-ended questions. The counsellor may provide the validation the child needs to feel heard and understood.

Child counsellors may occasionally invite parents or guardians to join the sessions. Social support or having someone close nearby can help create a positive experience.

Counselling Services for Psychological Issues

At TYHO, we offer the best counselling services in Singapore to address various emotional and psychological challenges.

Do note that the below list is not exhaustive. 

In a counsellor’s full profile, you can find the specific issues they can help with. Get started here!

In a Singapore counselling service session, a counsellor sits on a chair and takes notes as a person lies down on a couch with their hands on their forehead.

However, some of the common issues we help with include:

  • Depression Counselling: We provide help for all kinds of depression disorders. Our counsellors in Singapore use effective tools to identify the root causes of your depression. Moreover, you may also learn how to manage your emotions and negative thinking through counselling. 
  • Anxiety Counselling: During anxiety counselling, you may learn how to handle your worry and fear. TYHO counsellors can help you learn tools to regain calmness and improve decision-making skills. 
  • Grief Counselling: You may experience profound sadness after losing someone. At this time in your life, TYHO counsellors can gently guide you through healing. 
  • Anger Management: During counselling for anger management, you may learn how to control your anger and improve your interpersonal relationships. The best counselling services in Singapore can help you focus on self-awareness and channel your intense emotions into something constructive and healthy. 

Visit our Singapore counselling page to learn more about the counselling services we offer and find the right counsellor for you! 

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Counselling Session: What to Expect and How to Prepare

Posted on by rootal

Waiting for your first Singapore counselling session can be a nerve-racking experience. It is common to feel nervous, uncertain, and perhaps even apprehensive initially.

Clients who have previously gone for counselling, too, may find it tricky navigating the landscape as counselling sessions increasingly go virtual.

Thankfully, there are simple things you can do before your counselling session to help you feel prepared for the session.

This article covers what you can expect in your first counselling session, as well as some ways to prepare before the counselling session, be it in-person or online, so you can make the best of the one hour you have with your counsellor.

This Article Contains:

What to Expect in the First Counselling Session

What exactly takes place in the first counselling session? Questions people often have include what types of questions the counsellor will ask, what kind of information will be required to share, and whether the sessions are confidential.

Before the first counselling session, you may be asked to complete an intake form (physically or online). An intake form typically requests basic information such as your name, contact number, and age group. There will also be a field for you to provide the name and phone number of a family member or friend who may be contacted in an emergency.

Finally, the intake form may ask for a brief description of the issue for which you would like to seek counselling.

At the start of your first counselling session, your counsellor will explain how counselling works, including the limits of confidentiality. Questions regarding scheduling, booking, and payment may also be clarified.

No two counselling sessions are the same. The types of questions asked may vary greatly from one counsellor to another based on their theoretical approach, background, and individual factors relating to each client.

For instance, some clients may feel nervous about being in counselling for the first time, while others may dive straight into their toughest emotional issues right from the start (eg feeling emotional all the time).

Your counsellor will likely want to get to know you better as a person. Generally speaking, some aspects that counsellors may be interested to find out more about include:

  • Your past experiences of in-person and online counselling,
  • The reason(s) you decided to seek counselling now
  • Your family background
  • How you hope counselling may be of help to you

Ask Questions

The first counselling session is also a chance for you to ask the counsellor any questions you may have and gauge if the counsellor is a good fit for you. It is okay to book sessions with a few different counsellors before deciding who you would like to work with.

It might take a few tries to find a counsellor you feel comfortable with. This is similar to making friends, where we may not feel equally comfortable or connected with each person.

Two people are sitting opposite to each other during a counselling session in Singapore.

How to Prepare for Counselling Sessions

Counselling sessions may be conducted in-person or online and involve an individual client, couple, or family member.

Couples may attend couples counselling, whereas families can go for family counselling in Singapore.

Online counselling can occur via video, audio, or text-based chat formats.

This section covers several suggested ways to prepare for each counselling session, regardless of the mode of counselling or whether it is an individual, couple, or family session.

The subsequent sections will introduce what you can do to make the most out of counselling sessions.

Some ways to prepare for all types of counselling sessions are:

Manage Your Expectations

Contrary to popular belief, a counsellor does not provide advice, solutions, or a ‘quick fix’.

A counsellor journeys with you and guides you to find answers for yourself.

Think about what you would like out of this particular counselling session.

Is there a specific event or issue you would like to talk about?

Are there any situations that have gotten better or worse recently? How did that happen?

Are you looking for a listening ear or a space to vent your frustrations?

Do you need to offload overwhelming emotions?

Do you feel sad for no reason?

Or perhaps you have a specific pre-set goal to move one step closer to.

The clearer you are about what you hope to achieve during the counselling session, the easier it will be for you to communicate your needs to the counsellor and for the counsellor to help you stay on track.

While there is no fixed rule on the number of counselling sessions an individual should have. It generally takes time for individuals to settle into therapy, discuss goals with their counsellor, and take steps to work towards them.

Be patient with yourself; habits and relational patterns built up over the years do not change overnight, but over time, persistence, and much practice, significant progress can be made.

Pat yourself on the back for having the courage to book your first counselling session; that is a huge step forward!

Keep an Open Mind

Counselling sessions often reveal insights about ourselves in ways that we may not have expected.

Be honest with yourself. Keeping an open mind invites new ideas, possibilities and experiences, which help to foster self-growth.

Some people find it helpful to jot down new perspectives that they would like to spend more time thinking about during or after the counselling session.

Put Your Mobile Phone Aside

Mobile phones are a great distraction in counselling sessions.

Switch your phone to silent mode, or turn it off completely for an hour.

You May Like Reading: Social Media & Mental Health: How Is It Connected?

Also, ensure that your phone is on silent mode. The buzzing from your phone’s notifications can disturb the counselling session.

Even without notifications, it can be tempting to glance at your phone screen occasionally out of habit.

It may be helpful to place your phone out of sight, such as in your bag, or face down on a table.

You will likely gain more from your counselling session if your attention isn’t divided between the conversation with your counsellor and your phone.

A person turning off their phone to preapre for the online counselling session in Singapore.

Complete Homework Beforehand

Counsellors often assign homework to be done in between counselling sessions.

Homework helps to keep you on track towards your goal and allows you to apply your learning to your daily life in concrete ways or prepare for your next counselling session.

Your counsellor in Singapore will likely want to discuss the homework with you and any progress and challenges you may have experienced along the way.

Schedule Buffer Time After Each Session

Counselling sessions can be emotionally draining at times.

Contrary to popular belief, it is not the counsellor who does the bulk of the work that results in progress for the client, but the client themselves.

As clients become more aware of their thoughts, feelings, and patterns of behaviour in therapy, new perspectives and insights about themselves often surface.

Give yourself some time to recoup after each counselling session and gather your thoughts instead of proceeding straight into the next item in your schedule on autopilot.

Some people also find it helpful to consolidate their learning from the session.

Crying in therapy sessions is also more common than one might think, meaning that you might want to set aside some time to compose yourself before that next meeting or activity.

Things to Do Before Your First Counselling Session

This section talks about things to do before your first counselling session.  

These include:

Choose a Safe, Private and Comfortable Space

Choose a physical space where you will not be interrupted by other people and where others are unable to overhear the conversation with your counsellor.

For instance, if you plan to attend your online counselling session from home, you may wish to situate yourself in a room where other family members and children will not need to enter or retrieve things from midway.

This could be your bedroom or a study room, with the door locked if necessary.

For the duration of the session, to ensure that you are free of any distractions and interruptions, you may also wish to put your phone on silent mode and away from view and take care of any work or family responsibilities (to the extent possible).

Once you have decided on the location from which to attend your counselling session, prepare any items you might need to keep yourself comfortable for the next hour or so.

This could include your favourite cup of tea or some water, throw pillows, a sweater or shawl, a pen and paper to take notes with, and a box of tissues.

Also, consider the temperature at which you are most comfortable and the lighting in the room; some people prefer being near the heater or air conditioner and using a table lamp, while others enjoy fresh air and natural light from a window.

Use a Laptop

We recommend using a laptop rather than a mobile phone or tablet for your online counselling session. Hence, the call is more likely to continue smoothly, as the connection is usually stable, and the battery is likely to last longer. 

See: What Does Your iPhone Say About You?

In addition, video and audio calls quickly drain the battery of devices. It may be a good idea to keep your device attached to a power cord and ensure it is charging.

This helps to avoid the unwelcome situation of being interrupted in the middle of your online counselling session by a warning notification for low battery, or worse, a disruption because your device has run out of battery completely.

Minimise Distractions

Switching between various tasks during your online counselling session is not just disruptive; it can be tiring and disorienting.

Imagine trying to answer a question from your counsellor while a notification from social media pops up with the latest scoop on your favourite celebrity.

Aside from the typical distractions from notifications on a device, an often overlooked form of distraction comes from people sharing the same physical space as you, such as other household members or housemates.

Minimise distractions that may interrupt the flow of your online counselling session.

Examples of the steps you can take include:

  • Close all other tabs, windows, and other programmes on your laptop or mobile phone.
  • Put your mobile phone on silent mode or switch it off.
  • If you plan to attend the counselling session using your mobile phone, turn off all notifications from messaging apps and social media.
  • Where possible, reduce distracting sounds, such as a television that is switched on in another room.
  • Use earphones or headphones to block out distracting sounds if necessary.
  • Ensure that no one walks into the room you are using.
  • Inform others at home that you will be busy for an hour or so at a specified time, and request that they do not knock on your door unless it is an emergency.
  • Opt for an alternative venue if your home has too many distractions.

The above are some steps to help you avoid distractions during online counselling in Singapore.

Rest assured, during in-person counselling sessions, your counsellor will make sure to keep the therapy room as minimal as possible to avoid distractions. 

Write Down Your Therapy Goals

When you start counselling for the first time, your counsellor may ask why you seek professional help.

Your therapy goals can help your counsellor build a personalised therapeutic plan.

Think about what sort of daily issues you face, what makes you upset, negative thoughts you observe frequently, or situations causing stress (eg work-related stress and burnout).

You do not have to list everything perfectly; a basic idea of what you want to overcome or solve would suffice.

Below is an easy step-by-step guide to figuring out your therapy goals:

  • Allot minimal time (5-10 minutes) to discuss your therapy goals.
  • Find a quiet and comfortable spot where you can concentrate without any distractions.
  • Think about your past, your present emotions, and your future goals.
  • Create two lists: one for your issues and the other one for your goals.
  • Finally, write about what’s stopping you from feeling positive right now.

However, don’t worry too much if you can’t make a list. Therapy in Singapore is an ongoing and exploratory process – you will eventually find it easier to set objective goals.

A person sitting on the couch with a pen and a notepad to take notes before the counselling session.

How to Make the Most of Your Therapy Sessions

Individual counselling, as the name suggests, involves one client.

It is important to have an honest discussion with yourself when considering whether to sign up for individual counselling sessions.

Here are a few considerations to take note of when preparing for an individual counselling session:

Reflect on What You Hope to Achieve

You may have various reasons for wanting to sign up for individual counselling in Singapore.

What are some of your reasons?

Reflect on this prior to your first individual counselling session.

Being honest with yourself helps to paint a clearer picture of how therapy sessions may be helpful for you and provides indicators of when it may be suitable for you to conclude your counselling journey.

Some people find it beneficial to write these reasons down beforehand, as it is common to feel nervous or awkward at the start of your first individual counselling session.

Understand that Counselling is a Partnership

When sharing about one’s personal difficulties with those close to us, such as friends and family, it is natural for the ones listening to sometimes offer advice or make judgements based on their own perspectives.

Individual counselling, in contrast, is not about receiving advice or being judged; the counsellor is neither an advisor nor a critic.

Clients may sometimes feel that they have to prepare to ‘defend their case’ as they would in a conversation with others. This could not be further from what actually takes place in individual counselling sessions.

A counsellor works with you towards your goals, which often include uncovering unhelpful patterns of thinking and behaviour and learning to navigate your emotions and decisions in healthier ways.

Be Open to Exploring Your Thoughts and Feelings

Preparing yourself emotionally includes being ready to explore thoughts or feelings that may be uncomfortable for you to acknowledge.

Therapy is a safe place for these explorations to take place.

When you are sharing your thoughts or emotions, keep an open mind, and remember that it is a process of discovery and understanding, just as much as it is about healing.

While avoiding certain topics may be tempting or even habitual, try putting that aside and focusing on your feelings or thoughts as you share.

However, it is completely okay to take your time to open up. Your counsellor will work with you to make you feel safer. 

The only thing you may have to do is participate actively from your side and show your complete willingness to improve your wellbeing!

Be Ready to Share Your Emotions Openly

As individual counselling progresses, different emotions tend to surface, which the counsellor will likely ask you about.

Be prepared to share how you feel about certain things.

If your past experiences have been largely focused on suppressing your emotions or not understanding them, then exploring your feelings, fears, hopes, and motivations could uncover new insights for you.

See: The Benefits of Online Counselling

Conclusion

Preparing for your counselling session can help reduce nervousness or uncertainty in the time leading up to the session.

It also helps you to make the most of your counselling session.

Therefore, thinking about how you may prepare yourself emotionally before each counselling session can be useful.

Online counselling sessions should be attended from a private space that allows you to feel physically and emotionally safe.

Making simple arrangements beforehand can greatly reduce unnecessary distractions and technical interruptions, allowing you to remain focused and get the most out of your online counselling session.

Aside from the methods listed above, you may also wish to ask your counsellor if there is anything specific they would like you to prepare or think about in the time between counselling sessions.

Visit our Singapore counselling page to read more about our counselling services!

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Client Stories – Daniel

Posted on by shilpa
  • 28 November 2022

In our bid to normalise seeking support and help others learn more about the process, we have collaborated with some of our clients who have been using our services for some time to share their experience with therapy on TYHO. More than a testimonial, these stories are a reminder of their commitment to confront and work through their challenges, and a reflection of their self-awareness and resilience.

A Little About Daniel

Starting us off would be Daniel’s story. 💜

Daniel is a freelance writer and newly-minted property owner. He writes about property, interior design, self-development, and mental health on his Instagram (@stayingonthehill).

Below is a written interview we conducted with him on his TYHO journey.

Daniel's Story

What prompted you to give therapy a try? What were you looking to change or achieve?

It was during Circuit Breaker in 2020 when I finally reached a breaking point and needed help.

The extension for lockdown had just been announced, and my relationship with my family was extremely strained. Just before the pandemic hit, I’d been considering a career change, and had been making moves to buy my own home and move out.

In many ways, I felt trapped, physically, emotionally and in my life as a whole. And I knew I needed help that none of my family or friends could provide.

That’s when I looked at options for teletherapy since we weren’t allowed out of our houses, and I came across Talk Your Heart Out. TYHO offered counselling over Zoom, and their rates were affordable.

I registered. And then I didn’t book an appointment. I’d had a bad experience with a very unempathetic therapist when I was much younger and never went back to therapy since.

But Shilpa, the founder of TYHO, personally reached out to me, and helped connect me with a wonderful Therapist in Singapore.

When did you start therapy? How often do you go for sessions, and how did you decide on this?

My Therapist and I started out with weekly sessions in mid-2020. I think the frequency was necessary since I needed support during that trying period. Also, she was invested in getting to know my personal history and helping me to unpack years of trauma and habitual thinking.

Having that sort of regular support was exactly what I needed to get through the rest of Circuit Breaker as well as the uncertainty and transitions that followed once Singapore started opening back up.

Once I was more confident to manage on my own, we dialled back our sessions to once every two weeks.

Daniel sharing his testimonial about his journey in therapy with TYHO.
Photo Credits to Daniel / @stayingonthehill on Instagram

What changes have you observed in your life since starting therapy?

Therapy isn’t a magic bullet. You’re not going to be ‘cured’ – which in itself is an unhelpful and unhealthy way to approach mental health.

Besides emotional support, what I was hoping to achieve with therapy was a better understanding of my thought patterns and mental habits. Therapy was this safe space that allowed me to process negative thought patterns and their links to earlier events in my life. That sort of deep work allowed me to know my triggers and recognise when a bad spell was manifesting. It also gave me a better chance at interrupting my mind when it goes into autopilot mode.

I think I’m better at managing and regulating my moods now. At the very least, I’m much kinder to myself and know how to take care of myself if I do slip into a darker place. Therapy equipped me with self-understanding, as well as self-support and de-escalation strategies.

And of course, if I couldn’t manage alone, I could always count on my therapist to have my back.

How did you manage setbacks along the way?

I got better at recognising my negative thought patterns but wasn’t always the best at interrupting them. But that’s where my therapist helped immensely, by being both an observer that offers helpful insights, and a cheerleader to my self-directed recovery.

How did you find the process of booking and attending the session online on TYHO?

Booking and attending sessions online definitely made it so much easier to attend therapy sessions and keep to a regular therapy schedule. I think I would’ve backed out much earlier if I had to go into a clinic or office for therapy.

Being able to arrange my own therapy sessions and see each therapist’s availability on a calendar was so helpful. The convenience is one of the major reasons why I stayed with TYHO.

Daniel shares his testimonial about his experience with his TYHO Therapist.
Photo Credits to Daniel / @stayingonthehill on Instagram

What initiatives would you like to see more of in the mental health space?

We’re definitely more open to talking about mental health these days, but I think more can be done to alleviate the stigma attached to seeking professional mental healthcare, especially with the misconception that you need to be ‘ill’ to require therapy. I personally think that therapy should be thought of in the same vein as a routine health check-up or dental appointment.

Another myth I’d like to see debunked is that friends are a substitute for a therapist. While a friend can be a great listener, a therapist is someone who’s trained in mental healthcare. I also wouldn’t want to place that sort of emotional labour on a friend that a therapist is trained and expected to handle.

What do you look forward to these days?

I’m trying to be more mindful these days. That means being present as much as possible, from brushing my teeth, to sipping my coffee, and even eating meals or having heartfelt conversations with friends. I look forward to days that end and I know that I’ve been mostly present. I feel like I’ve ‘lived’ that day.

A Word from TYHO

Thank you Daniel for sharing your vulnerabilities and struggles with us so openly. 

Indeed, taking the initiative to access help when we know we have reached our limits is an act of courage. 

We hope Daniel’s story provides insight into how therapy works. 

If you would like to submit a testimonial of your own, feel free to write to us at [email protected]. We would love to hear from you!  

Anger Management Books

Posted on by [email protected]
  • 28 December 2021
Anger can be a difficult emotion for us to manage, yet it is not an uncommon one to feel. Sometimes, it arises when we are snubbed at the workplace. Other times, it creeps up on us when a family member forgets to do the dishes. It can even strike when we miss the bus. When faced with unfavourable circumstances, anger is a normal and healthy emotion. However, our anger can have a destructive impact on our relationships if we simply act in accordance to how we feel. Besides, getting angry more frequently has been correlated with having a higher risk of cardiovascular diseases (Reitman, 2020). One solution worth exploring is seeking means to manage our own anger. This would mean reducing the intensity of feelings of anger and our physiological reaction to them (American Psychological Association, 2021). Self-help books are readily available sources of information that can help us to better manage our anger.

Anger Management Books for Self-help and Relationships

Anger Management Books for Self-help

Listed below are some bestseller self-help books for anger management, lauded for their practical strategies to better cope with anger. In fact, there are a plethora of books that talk about how to deal with specific instances of anger. Their content caters mainly to the adult age group.

Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion by Gary Chapman

Gary Chapman, a renowned counsellor, is the author of The 5 Love Languages, one of New York’s best-selling books. In his newly published book on anger, Chapman takes inspiration from biblical scriptures on anger and forgiveness. He explores both the protective and destructive influences anger can have in our lives. In addition, Chapman explains the root of our anger and identifies circumstances where anger can be arguably right or wrong. 

Through examples of clients he has counselled, Chapman highlights how both unadulterated and repressed anger can destroy relationships. While Chapman validates the shame and denial usually associated with anger, he also shares how to process them. 

In the book, Chapman delves into a step-by-step guide on managing long-term anger and processing repressed anger. Furthermore, he proposes means of responding constructively to angry people. He also discusses the ideas of forgiveness and reestablishing trusting relationships.

Anger: Taming a Powerful Emotion by Gary Chapman

The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life by Les Carter and Frank Minirth

The Anger Trap is the brainchild of Carter and Minirth, mental health professionals with therapeutic and medical expertise respectively. It encourages readers to take note of their subtle experiences of anger in daily life. 

Although experiencing anger is inevitable, Carter and Minirth invite us to reflect on how we choose to respond to it. They highlight that our choice of response often is preceded with consequences on our relationships. The book also examine how cycles of anger can be perpetuated by patterns in our lives. These cycles can be broken through applying specific strategies in our interactions with others around us. This can come in the form of boundaries and advocating for our well-being. 

Through offering practical solutions, Carter and Minirth share means of managing our environmental stressors to reduce the incidence of anger.

The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life by Les Carter

How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons by Albert Ellis

Albert Ellis is a clinical psychologist and renowned pioneer of psychotherapy. The book provides overarching advice for readers in difficult interpersonal situations in life. This may include conflicts with loved ones and even colleagues in the workplace. 

Ellis draws inspiration from his theory on Rational-Emotive Behaviour Therapy, which promotes emotional regulation. He explores common beliefs we have that lend power to situations and people in our lives. 

Ellis proposes alternative thought processes that can be helpful for taking charge of our own life experiences. Thereafter, he provides means of coping with irrational fearful and angry thoughts.

How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons by Albert Ellis

Anger Management Books for Relationships

In our relationships, we will inevitably face moments when we need to manage our anger: be it when we disagree with our significant others or when we feel jealous or neglected. While being angry is completely normal, the health of our relationships depends on how we choose to respond. 

Anger management books are useful in teaching us how to navigate our anger in relationships. These strategies can be healthy for our emotional well-being and for the growth of our relationships.

Anger management Books for relationships

The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships by Harriet, G. Lerner

Harriet Lerner is a clinical psychologist, recognised for her contributions to psychoanalytic theories of family and feminism. In The Dance of Anger, she recognises how societal stereotypes have undermined women’s expression of anger.

Through this book, Lerner intends to empower women to enable their anger to change relationships for the better. She urges readers to hone their communication skills to better manage conflicts and allow their requests to be heard. 

The book draws a distinction between ineffective fighting and asserting oneself when experiencing anger. With this awareness, readers can better navigate conflict in their intimate relationships for more productive outcomes.

The Dance of Anger: A Woman’s Guide to Changing the Pattern of Intimate Relationships by Harriet, G. Lerner

Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs: A Relationship Workbook for Couples by Gina Senarighi

Love More, Fight Less is a book by Gina Senarighi, a certified relationship coach. This book serves as an interactive workbook with activities for couples to complete together.

Senarighi based the book on the concept that couples’ fights stem from ineffective communication between parties. Rather than seeing arguments as sign of a failed relationship, Senarighi urges couples to see them as opportunities for teamwork. 

Love More, Fight Less is filled with tools to tackle common areas of contention in relationships (eg. intimacy, finances, career). The book provides 30 communication skills and activities to bring awareness for both individuals of their own preferences, and highlights 29 common areas of weakness when navigating relationships. 

Love More, Fight Less: Communication Skills Every Couple Needs: A Relationship Workbook for Couples by Gina Senarighi

Anger Busting 101: The New ABCs for Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them by Newton Hightower

Newton Hightower is the Director for the Centre of Anger Resolution. In this book, he combines stories of personal experience and clients, with clinical data on anger. Hightower presents an easy-to-follow guide with practical advice on managing anger. 

He advocates for the Recovery Approach, a strategy he coined, to diffuse anger before it gets beyond control. Hightower provides readers with an ABC framework to create sustainable change in their destructive expressions of anger. 

Readers are first encouraged to abstain from destructive angry behaviour and verbal phrases. Next, they are to remember their belief in principles for peace, happiness, and permanent change. Lastly, readers will communicate with their new phrases.

Anger Busting 101: The New ABCs for Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them by Newton Hightower

Anger Management Books for Parents and Children

Anger Management Books for Parents

When parenting our children, we need to be mindful of our anger. As parents, we usually take upon both the roles of being a nurturer and disciplinarian. While caring for our children’s well-being, we need to teach them appropriate behaviours as well. 

The experience of anger towards our children is definitely a normal and necessary part of the parenting journey. However, we may need additional help in managing our emotions to ensure we fulfil our parenting roles effectively. Anger management books are one possible source we can turn to to deal with our emotions while managing our children.

How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent by Carla Naumburg

How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids is a book by Carla Naumburg, a clinical social worker. An author of 3 parenting books, Naumburg is familiar with parenting struggles. She combines compassion, humour, and evidence-based practices to guide parents in managing their anger. She also makes sure to validates the struggles that parents face and affirms that they are not alone in this journey. 

Besides offering insight into behavioural habits, Naumburg provides practical guidance on improving parents’ behaviours. She attentively reminds parents to meet their own basic needs as well, to improve the regulation of their moods. 

The strategies Naumburg suggests are easily actionable and encourage greater self-awareness of one’s own triggers. She also advocates for self-compassionate practices, including building a support system to allow parents to take breaks from their responsibilities.

How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent by Carla Naumburg

Anger Management for Parents: The Ultimate Guide to Positive Parenting Without Anger by Henry Hal

Anger Management for Parents is a book by Henry Hal, an educator and New York Times’ bestselling author. Hal recognises the stress of parenting, where influence of the media and peer pressure can mould and shape children. He acknowledges parents’ struggles in managing their child’s anger and their own. However, he highlights that some aspects of parental anger can have detrimental effects on a child’s development. 

Since anger can be an effective strategy in getting children to listen, parents may habitually get angry. Hal intends for readers to recognise that anger can potentially be their pattern of response in managing their children. This can occur even in circumstances where anger is not appropriate or necessary. 

The book hence includes solutions and strategies on effective communication with children. There are also tips for parents to manage their own anger so their emotions do not dictate their parenting.

Anger Management for Parents: The Ultimate Guide to Positive Parenting Without Anger by Henry Hal

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Laura Markham

Laura Markham is a clinical psychologist who specialises in relationship-based parenting. Based on research in brain development and Markham’s experience working with parents, Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids integrates this model of parenting as well. 

Markham believes that developing an emotional connection with our children can be a reliable basis for creating lasting behavioural changes. With this connection, parents will not have to lose their temper at their children. The book endeavours to help parents gain greater awareness of their own emotions and better manage them. This in turn allows them to develop empathy and boundaries, and learn to communicate effectively with their children. 

The book also comprehensively discusses how to assist a child in managing their anger and processing their emotions.

Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Laura Markham

Anger Management Books for Kids

The concept of anger and managing their emotions can be foreign to children. They require more guidance in navigating their emotional worlds and learning how to deal with difficult feelings. While adults may not always be readily available to help children cope, books can be a reliable resource. They provide an avenue for children to learn about and explore their emotions independently.

Anger Management Books for Kids

Anger Management Workbook for Kids: 50 Fun Activities to Help Children Stay Calm and Make Better Choices When They Feel Mad by Samantha Snowden

Samantha Snowden is a mindfulness coach specialising in children and family. Children aged 6 to 12 years-old are the target audience of Anger Management Workbook. 

Snowden intends to help normalise children’s experience of difficult emotions, most notably, anger. This book guides them in recognising their feelings, being aware of their bodily reactions to them and naming them. Snowden specifically explains how the body reacts to anger in an easily comprehended manner for children. She also explores the complicated relationship between anger and other emotions like fear and sadness. These help children grow more aware of the triggers of their anger and how they usually express it.

In the activity section, children are given an array of resources to self-regulate and seek adult help when needed. The book emphasizes to children that other individuals in their life can feel anger as well. It teaches children about empathizing with these emotions in others and how to seek forgiveness.

Snowden reminds children that even when experiencing anger, they still are responsible to make good choices for themselves. This includes choosing safe methods to express their anger and calm themselves down.

Anger Management Workbook for Kids: 50 Fun Activities to Help Children Stay Calm and Make Better Choices When They Feel Mad by Samantha Snowden

Today I Am Mad by Michael Gordon

Today I Am Mad is a book by Michael Gordon is an author of several international best-selling children’s books. Gordon integrates self-regulation theory into his writing to encourage children to ventilate their emotions in a healthy manner. 

Today I Am Mad is a storybook aimed at children aged 3 to 5 years old. The protagonist, Josh encounters different situations where he and the people around him experienced anger. 

Gordon teaches young readers skills to deescalate conflicts with others who are angry. In other encounters where Josh was angry, he used strategies to help manage his own anger. These include deep breathing and finding a safe physical outlet for expression (eg. kicking a ball around). 

Besides delving into easily applicable self-regulation skills, he also includes lessons on how children can calm an angry friend down when they witness a conflict. The book is fully illustrated and written in simple language to be relatable for the younger age group.

Today I Am Mad by Michael Gordon

Train Your Angry Dragon by Steve Herman

Steven Herman is a best-selling children’s book author. Train Your Angry Dragon is part of the My Dragon Books series where Herman writes about different emotional and developmental issues children face. This storybook series is aimed at children aged 4 to 9 years-old. In Train Your Angry Dragon, the protagonist Andrew attempts to train his dragon to manage its anger. Herman uses the angry dragon character to relate to young readers who experience anger. This teaches them how to identify their emotions. 

Herman encourages readers to manage their anger through strategies that Andrew teaches his dragon throughout the book. This includes perspective taking, where young readers are encouraged to recognise the needs of others in their interactions with them. Moreover, the book also shows readers how expressing anger can be destructive, while suggesting alternate healthier means of doing so. 

The book is fully illustrated and each line of the story is written in a rhyme. This would appeal more to children during story time, when the story can be read aloud.

Train Your Angry Dragon by Steve Herman

All in all, anger is not a ‘bad’ emotion that we should attempt to dismiss or repress. Anger management books are possible sources of information to consider if you wish to better manage your anger when it arises, and get in touch with your emotions.

Nonetheless, if you find it difficult to cope with your anger alone, therapy is another viable option. Speaking with a therapist can help you process your emotions and delve deeper into the root of your anger. 

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References

American Psychological Association. (2021). Controlling anger before it controls you. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/topics/anger/control

Reitman, E. (2020). Stress and anger may exacerbate heart failure. Retrieved from https://news.yale.edu/2020/08/11/stress-and-anger-may-exacerbate-heart-failure