All You Need to Know About Premarital Counselling

A person proposing for marriage. Seek pre-marital counselling before marriage!

As you wait to begin a new chapter in your relationship, you may need to do a lot of planning for the wedding.  

But have you ever thought about the steps you may have to take to ensure you ease into the new chapter without any hurdles?  

What roles will you take on in the marriage? What is your spouse responsible for? How are you planning to maintain your spark?  

You may have several questions and concerns about how you want your married life to look life.  

This is where premarital counselling can help you. This type of counselling can help you talk about ‘big topics’ like finance, responsibilities, plans for kids, career life and so on.  

Premarital counselling is a good way to make your relationship stronger before you even start your married life.  

Your Singaporean counsellor may give you the space to talk honestly about your hopes and worries about the future.  

This article is a guide to premarital counselling: who should seek it, what it can help with, and how to get started! 

What Is Premarital Counseling?

Premarital counselling is a type of therapy you can take before you get married.  

We recommend that you seek counselling if you are in a long-term or live-in relationship or planning to marry soon.  

During premarital counselling, you will have the space to: 

  • Talk about your current relationship problems 
  • Talk about your personal problems 
  • Understand each other’s needs and expectations 
  • Set healthy boundaries 
  • Get to know each other better 
  • Learn conflict-resolution skills 
  • Create goals for marriage and your life together 

Similarly, couples also go to premarital counselling to evaluate their relationship and fix any problems before they worsen.  

Your online Therapist in Singapore will work with you and your partner to identify the problems.  

Rest assured that your Therapist will not judge you and will provide unconditional support for your marriage.  

During sessions, you can talk about: 

  • How you would like to manage your finances 
  • How do you plan to spend time together 
  • What your personal, marriage, and emotional needs are and how you hope to address them 
  •  How to make decisions together 

Who Should Seek Premarital Counseling?

If you are planning to get married, you may wonder if you need premarital counselling. 

Most couples believe that if there are problems in their relationship, they may have to split up or seek counselling only when things are already at their worst.  

However, your problems don’t have to be ‘big’ to seek counselling. What is big is subjective to the couple and their situation.  

On one hand, if you feel the need to improve your relationship or simply wish to seek some guidance before marriage, premarital counselling can help you.  

For example, if you want to get to know your partner well or understand how marriage can change your dynamics, you can learn a lot during counselling. 

If you have never talked to a counsellor before, pre-martial counselling can be a good first step.  

On the other hand, counselling can also help you solve problems such as lack of trust, misunderstandings, arguments with parents-in-law, frequent conflicts, etc.  

Couple receiving premarital counselling.

What Premarital Counseling Can Help With

Premarital counselling can help you prepare for your married life together with your partner.  

The list below is not exhaustive. There are no off-topics during counselling. Even if an issue or aspect is not listed in this section, you can explore how to handle it with your marriage counsellor.  

Some of the common aspects that premarital counselling can help with include: 

  • Understanding each other better: You may learn how to recognise your partner’s emotions and vice versa.  
  • Setting realistic goals and expectations: Counselling can help you understand that marriage can have its own ups and downs. Based on the nature of your relationship, you may learn how to create expectations and meet them.  
  • Making plans for the future: You can discuss your goals, dreams, needs, and ideas for marriage. Your counsellor may help you create a realistic plan and meet your goals through tools like solution-focused therapy! 

Apart from the above, you can also expect to overcome issues such as: 

  • Anger in the relationship 
  • Differences in opinions 
  • Sex-related issues 
  • Problems with emotional intimacy  
  • Issues with close family members 

Get Started With Premarital Counselling

Both you and your partner may need to be willing to seek premarital counselling. If your partner hesitates, explain why you think counselling can help your relationship and what you hope to gain from it. 

Sometimes, people may think that something is wrong with them if you suggest counselling. Try to break that myth and tell your partner that you love them and think counselling can help you both.  

Discuss your observations with your partner if you previously attended individual counselling in Singapore. Your progress in therapy can motivate them to seek help! 

To get started with premarital counselling, try to find someone who can help meet your needs.  

Discuss what areas you wish to focus on with your partner and seek someone to address the issues.  

Attend a few counselling sessions to gauge if your Therapist is the right fit. If either you or your partner feels uncomfortable, look for another expert! 

Remember to communicate openly with your marriage counsellor about your expectations for therapy.  

Noticing progress may take some time. However, with consistency and willingness to improve your relationship, you may soon notice all the changes before you get married! 

 

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