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Category: Self-care

5 Self-Care Tips for Mental Health

Posted on by rootal

Wanting to learn self-care tips for mental health is a great step to take! 

Self-care is doing small, doable things that make a big difference in how we feel and live every day. 

Unlike how self-care is portrayed in the media, we may have to consistently develop self-care habits and perform them every single day to feel better. 

Below are some questions to help you reflect on how much essential self-care you practise every day:

  • Do you sleep enough? 
  • How nutritious are your meals? Are all your meals nutritious?
  • Do you move your body daily, even if it’s simple stretching?
  • How often do you socialise with your loved ones? 

Self-care is about what feels right for you. In this article, we will explore 5 easy self-care tips to improve your mental wellness. 

We also look into self-care tips for anxiety and depression!

This Article Contains:

What Is Self-Care?

Self-care refers to intentional habits you develop to improve your emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing. 

You can identify your needs through self-care tips and create steps to fulfil them. Self-care tips for mental health are essential to creating a happy and healthy lifestyle. 

Also See: How to Do 5 Self-Care Tips Better

Taking a bubble bath every other day or going for a power walk every evening is not just an indulgence but a small habit that builds up to a positive mindset. 

For mental health, self-care might include:

When we actively choose to follow these habits regularly, we prioritise ourselves and our wellness. 

Caring for yourself is not selfish. You deserve the care and love. 

In the next section, we will specifically look into what emotional self-care means and how you can include it in your daily routine. 

What Is Emotional Self-Care?

Emotional self-care means managing and improving your emotional wellness. Emotional wellness could include feeling:

  • Happy
  • Content
  • Satisfied
  • Positive
  • Confident
  • Energetic
  • Inspired
  • Hopeful

By including self-care tips in your life, you will start to understand, express, and manage your emotions better. 

In other words, you may learn how to:

Try asking yourself the questions below to get started with emotional self-care:

  • Are your coping methods useful and healthy?
  • Do you spend time on activities that bring you joy? 
  • What type of activities drain your energy? 
  • How can you manage your tasks in a way where your energy is balanced throughout the day?

Take your time to reflect on the above questions or any other points you can think of. 

For example, you could start a hobby that you have been interested in for a while or call a friend if you get energy from social interactions. 

A person looking out of the window and smiling while holding a book against their chest, indicating practising self care tips for mental health.

5 Self-Care Tips for Mental Health

What do self-care tips for mental health look like? Where do you even get started?

In this section, we explore 5 simple and essential self-care tips that you can use to improve your overall health and wellness. 

What works for someone else may not work for you. Hence, the pointers mentioned in this article are the most common and useful tips. 

We urge you to reflect on what self-care strategies worked for you previously and what tip from the list below could be a nice addition to your routine. 

If you want to try therapy for personal development, please visit our Therapist page to read about our services.

1. Develop Mindfulness

Mindfulness may sound fancy or hard to understand without proper instructions. However, it is a handy self-care tip for mental health. 

The idea behind mindfulness is simple – it is about focusing and paying attention to the present moment. 

Being mindful can help you feel calm and in control of your emotions. 

Below are some easy tips to add mindfulness to your day:

  • Try taking deep breaths early in the morning or whenever you feel stressed or sad for no reason. ‘Pausing time’ for a deep breath can help you feel relaxed immediately. 
  • Try different types of meditation. You can go for stillness, body tracing, or simply breathing in and out. Meditating for a few minutes daily can help you feel happier and improve your concentration. 
  • Try to maintain a journal for gratitude. Although it may seem like it has no effect, the things you are grateful for will eventually add up and change your attitude. You may stop worrying about uncertainty and enjoy what you have now. 
  • Try walking as a form of mindfulness. If you are a person who enjoys walking, you may feel calm and collected after a long and mindful walk. Walking is a simple and accessible way to bring some peace into your daily hustle. 

Adding these mindfulness tips to your routine can help you look after your mental health. 

2. Make Time for Therapeutic Activities

Self-care tips for mental health can significantly improve your emotions and thought patterns. 

Therapeutic activities are a large term and can mean different things to different people. 

Hence, you may have to focus more on what activity feels therapeutic to you. 

Do you prefer reading? Maybe you enjoy talking to your friend? Some people also cook or bake.

Below are two types of therapeutic activities you may enjoy:

Creative Expressions

People engage in different types of creative outlets to feel calm. 

Some ideas include painting, drawing, scribbling, doodling, listening to music, writing, and cooking. Your creative expression could also be your hobby.

Hobbies often offer a sense of accomplishment and joy. 

Ask yourself, “What have I created recently that gave me joy?”

A person painting on a canvas. The table has several paint boxes and tools. Painting is a self care tip for mental health and emotional health.

Digital Detox

In an era of constant connectivity, stepping away from screens can be therapeutic. 

Try to allocate specific times to disconnect from your online world. 

A digital break can lead to improved focus and a calmer mind.

You May Like Reading: Dopamine Detox: Does It Work?

3. Prioritise Your Physical Health

Your physical wellness can also positively affect your mental wellbeing. 

Below are some easy self-care tips for mental health that focus on staying active:

  • Try walking more. It is easy and effective, plus you don’t need any equipment to get in some walking. A quick walk around your neighbourhood can help release dopamine, which is the ‘happy chemical’. 
  • Dancing is a much more fun option if you enjoy it! Whenever you feel stressed or irritated, try playing your favourite playlist and shake your body for 10-15 minutes. With dancing, the positive change in your mood may be much quicker!
  • If you enjoy physical activities, try strength exercises. You don’t need to go to a gym or buy expensive products. An easily available weight at home (eg water bottle) can be useful for beginner exercises!

Read: How Trauma Affects Physical Health

Remember that the goal with the above tips is to enjoy the self-care habits as much as possible. If you’d rather stretch or do yoga, you should go ahead with it!

Listen to your body and engage in activities that bring you the most joy. 

4. Do Inner Work

Taking care of your mind is just as important as looking after your body. 

Here are some simple self-care tips for mental health to help you feel better: 

  • Let go of perfection: Trying to make everything perfect can make you unhappy. Understand that it’s okay not to be perfect. The perspective shift can really help your mind relax. 
  • Find a moment for yourself every day: Try to book some alone time in your calendar, even if it’s just five minutes to enjoy a cup of tea or sit quietly. 
  • Ask yourself why: Sometimes, we do things out of habit. Taking a moment to think about why you do what you do can help you understand yourself better. Self-awareness can be a huge help when you want to make better decisions and improve relationships. 

Remember, it is important to take time for yourself. These simple steps can make a big change in how you feel every day.

5. Practice Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance could include several factors. However, mainly, it’s about overcoming negative self-talk and being hard on yourself.

Through self-acceptance, you will start to be kinder to yourself, listen to your needs more attentively, focus on your desires, and manage your emotions effectively. 

Firstly, try to acknowledge that perfection is a myth and subjective. What’s perfect to you may be imperfect to someone else. 

Secondly, accepting your mistakes is a part of growth and can help you widen your perspective. Whenever you make a mistake, try to reflect on what you can do next time to avoid it and move on from the incident.

Identify your negative thought patterns. Do you think something is wrong with you? Do you feel like you are never enough? These are negative thought patterns.

When you think these thoughts, stop yourself immediately and ask, “Is this true?” and “What proof do I have to believe this about myself?”

Thirdly, celebrate all your achievements, both big and small. Did you manage to cook for yourself during a depressive episode? Did you simply get out of bed today? Or did you win an award?

You define what an achievement is for yourself. Anytime you achieve something, give yourself a reward and validation!

Lastly, try to surround yourself with positivity. You can’t always be positive, but you can take the opportunity to be as positive as you can. 

Anxiety Self-Care Tips

Living with an anxiety disorder is not easy. However, certain anxiety self-care tips can be useful. 

Below are self-care tips for mental health issues such as anxiety:

  • Talk to your loved ones regularly. Keeping your friends and family updated about your social anxiety or any other type of anxiety can be helpful. Let them know what kind of help you’d like from them. 
  • Give yourself a little time each day to think about what’s bothering you. Self-reflection helps you determine what you can change and can’t. 
  • Try engaging in breathing exercises when you feel anxious. Slow and deep breathing can help you calm down right away. 
  • Maintain a reflection journal. In this notebook, write down all your triggers and coping mechanisms. Eventually, you will start to identify what triggers you and how to overcome your anxiety in a crisis moment. 

You can also reach out to Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO) counsellors for anxiety counselling. 

TYHO counsellors can help manage and control your emotions. Your Therapist may teach you effective tools to live with anxiety.

Depression Self-Care Tips

Taking care of your mental health when you have depression can be hard, but there are simple things you can do to help yourself feel better. 

Here are some easy self-care tips for when you’re dealing with depression:

  • Try to move your body every day as much as possible. Physical exercise is not an immediate cure or does not offer an instant energy boost. However, every time you exercise, your brain will notice the changes you make, and your efforts will add up to feeling positive and happy in the long run.
  • Eating good and nutritious food is important to feel in control of your emotions. Try including a lot of fruits, vegetables, and fish in your diet. 
  • Try to sleep at the same time and for the same number of hours every night. Maintaining a sleep schedule can immensely help you feel better. 
  • Avoid consuming alcohol or drugs. Using substances to feel better can worsen your mental health in the long run. 

If you are struggling and unable to find any benefits through self-care tips for mental health, please reach out to us to start therapy. 

Sometimes, we may all need professional help and support through hard times.

Therapists at TYHO are experts in handling issues such as major depression, bipolar disorder, and eating disorders. 

Through effective tools like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and narrative therapy, you will learn how to:

  • Manage your emotions
  • Improve your mood
  • Improve relationships
  • Feel confident and happy
  • Regain a sense of joy in life
  • Look at life through a positive mindset

Visit our Singapore Therapy page to learn more about our services.

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Why You Procrastinate and How to Stop

Posted on by rootal

Have you ever found yourself cleaning the entire house, alphabetising your spice rack, or even randomly watching a documentary on the history of paperclips, all to avoid that one looming task? 

You are not alone. In fact, if procrastination were a sport, many of us would be gold medallists!

Jokes aside, procrastination is a universal act we all engage in. For some, it happens occasionally; for others, it is a daily struggle. 

However, putting things off is not just about being irresponsible or lazy.

Procrastination often has deeper roots. It might be tied to fears of feeling stuck, perfectionism, or even indecisiveness.

So, before you beat yourself up for binge-watching another series instead of tackling that task, remember: understanding the ‘why’ behind your procrastination is the first step to overcoming it. 

In this article, we delve into some of the most common root causes of procrastination and, more importantly, provide you with scientifically backed strategies to overcome it.

With insight and support, you can swap that ‘laziness’ for a boost of productivity. And who knows? Maybe you will even find time to genuinely enjoy that paperclip documentary!

This Article Contains:

What Is Procrastination?

Procrastination, simply put, is the act of delaying or postponing tasks. People who procrastinate often prioritise less urgent or more enjoyable activities. 

While occasional procrastination is common, it becomes concerning when it evolves into a habitual pattern.

Almost 20-25% of adults globally identify as chronic procrastinators, as per a 2014 study. 

Deep-seated issues like depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, and ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) often intertwine with procrastination. 

Furthermore, habitual procrastinators typically exhibit poor impulse control. This cycle of putting off things and then feeling guilty about it increases their anxiety.

The repercussions are not limited to mental well-being. Physical health takes a toll, too. Procrastinators, burdened by increased stress, frequently delay medical treatments. 

This postponement can spiral into a cycle of deteriorating health, all stemming from the simple act of putting off tasks.

The Psychology of Procrastination

At the core of our actions lies self-control. It is the force that pushes us to start and complete tasks, even when they are challenging.

Simultaneously, motivation increases our self-control. When we are motivated, we find it easier to tackle tasks head-on and with enthusiasm.

However, sometimes, feelings like anxiety or the fear of failure creep in. These demotivating feelings can reduce our enthusiasm and hinder our progress.

Beyond our internal feelings, there are tangible obstacles too. Fatigue from a long day or the idea of a distant reward can make immediate tasks seem less appealing.

Therefore, procrastination sets in when the weight of demotivating feelings and external obstacles becomes too heavy. 

It is like a seesaw; our drive to act diminishes when the challenges tip the balance.

That being said, procrastination is not permanent. Over time, as the balance between our motivation and challenges realigns, we find our momentum again and push forward.

Causes of Procrastination

Procrastination, a widespread behaviour, stems from multiple causes. While some might attribute it to mere laziness, the roots often run deeper, branching into both internal and external factors. 

Internally, emotions like fear of failure or self-doubt can paralyse action. Externally, distractions or an unsupportive environment can reduce focus. 

Understanding that several factors trigger procrastination is crucial to addressing and overcoming it.

Present Bias

At its core, present bias is our innate tendency to prioritise immediate rewards over future benefits. 

Imagine the idea of a chocolate cake in front of you versus the distant promise of a healthier physique. The cake often wins, doesn’t it?

Similarly, when faced with a challenging task, the immediate comfort of scrolling through social media or indulging in a favourite TV show often overshadows the long-term satisfaction of task completion. 

It is not merely about laziness; it is about our brain’s hardwired preference for now over later.

However, this bias is not just about pleasure. It is also about avoiding discomfort. The thought of confronting a difficult task can evoke feelings of inadequacy or fear of failure.

So, we avoid it and find comfort and pleasure in distractions that offer immediate gratification.

Procrastination is about avoiding discomfort. Between a chocolate cake in front of you versus the distant promise of a healthier physique - the cake often wins, doesn't it?

Perfectionism

Perfectionism is the relentless need to be flawless, often accompanied by overly critical self-evaluations. 

This drive for the ‘perfect’ outcome can lead people to delay or even avoid tasks altogether, fearing that their efforts will not meet their own high standards.

For instance, a student might delay submitting an assignment, troubled by the thought of potential errors. Similarly, writers might hold back from sharing their manuscripts, dreading criticism. 

This behaviour stems from perfectionistic concerns, characterised by an excessive preoccupation with others’ expectations, an irrational fear of making mistakes, and doubts about one’s abilities. 

These concerns can be so overpowering that they overshadow the joy of accomplishment.

Motivation

Motivation can be broadly categorised into two types: intrinsic and extrinsic. 

Intrinsic motivation arises from an individual’s internal desires, such as passion or personal satisfaction. Contrarily, external factors, like rewards or fear of punishment, are examples of extrinsic motivation.

How do these motivations influence procrastination? When intrinsically motivated, they are more likely to engage in a task because it aligns with their interests or values. 

This often leads to increased focus and reduced procrastination. For instance, a person passionate about painting will rarely delay picking up the brush.

On the flip side, extrinsic motivation can be more complicated. While the idea of rewards or the threat of consequences can spur action, they can also induce feelings of anxiety, also known as Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). 

As a result, this anxiety can lead to avoidance behaviours, a prime example being procrastination. Imagine a student fearing repercussions of a poor grade; the pressure might cause them to delay starting their assignment altogether.

In essence, while intrinsic motivation typically reduces the likelihood of procrastination, extrinsic motivation can either deter or exacerbate it, depending on the individual’s response to external pressures.

Procrastination can happen due to external factors like seeking validation or rewards from others.

Indecisiveness

Indecisiveness, often perceived as mere hesitation, has deep roots. Fear is usually the primary cause. The dread of making the wrong choice, facing criticism, or confronting failure can paralyse decision-making. 

Trauma, too, plays its role. Past experiences, especially those that led to regret or pain, can make one second-guess every choice. This distrust in oneself, questioning one’s judgement, further fuels indecisiveness.

Neurodivergence, encompassing conditions like ADHD, which is often confused for laziness, and autism, can also influence decision-making processes. The brain’s wiring in such cases might lead to overthinking or difficulty in prioritising tasks.

However, how does this link to procrastination? Indecisiveness creates a mental roadblock. When you are unsure, taking action becomes overwhelming. 

Gaining mental clarity of the situation at hand might become complicated, and procrastination becomes a routine during these situations.

Procrastination and Mental Health

Procrastination, while not a mental health condition, has undeniable ties to various psychological challenges. Research consistently reveals a connection between procrastination and conditions like depression, anxiety, and chronic stress. 

The British Psychological Society notes that conditions such as ADHD and OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) often exhibit procrastination as a symptom. The relationship between procrastination and mental well-being raises a question: Does mental distress lead to procrastination, or does habitual delay exacerbate mental strain? 

While racing thoughts or fatigue might lead to putting off tasks, continual avoidance increases stress, spiralling into deeper mental health issues. Addressing procrastination, therefore, becomes pivotal for overall well-being.

Procrastination and Anxiety

Procrastination is connected to anxiety in many ways. Anxiety creates a cycle that reduces productivity. At the heart of this is the fear of negative outcomes. 

Imagine delaying a project submission, not because of laziness but due to the dread of not meeting one’s own high standards. 

This is where anxiety-driven perfectionism comes into play. Individuals trapped in this cycle believe it’s not worth doing a task unless the work is impeccable.

Moreover, the sheer weight of expectations, both self-imposed and external, can lead to a feeling of being overwhelmed. This sensation is a barrier, making even the first step seem impossible. 

So, instead of diving into tasks, one might find themselves paralysed, unsure where to start.

Breaking this cycle requires recognising the root cause: anxiety. By addressing this underlying issue, whether through online anxiety counselling or self-awareness techniques, one can pave the way to a more productive and less stressful life.

Procrastination and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Procrastination, when intertwined with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), presents a multifaceted behavioural challenge. For individuals diagnosed with OCD, procrastination is not merely a delay tactic; it is often a manifestation of deeper psychological concerns.

One primary factor is perfectionism, frequently observed in those with OCD. This is not the constructive pursuit of excellence but a paralysing fear of committing errors. 

The underlying rationale is clear: by not commencing a task, one eliminates the possibility of making mistakes.

Furthermore, the concept of avoidance is pivotal in understanding this relationship. Within the context of OCD, avoidance can be categorised as a compulsion. Affected people might either circumvent situations that could exacerbate their OCD symptoms or delay confronting them.

This behaviour is closely linked to indecision, another characteristic prevalent among those with OCD. The burden of ensuring the ‘correct’ decision often becomes so overwhelming that it leads to a preference for deferral or complete avoidance of the task.

People with OCD can try psychotherapy online to cope with these symptoms. 

How to overcome procrastination?

You can overcome procrastination by improving your self-awareness and action plan. We often dream of achieving great things – but the only reason we fail to form a habit or finish a task is because there is not enough planning. 

Remember, planning is directly related to positive and guaranteed results. 

Some of the ways you can create effective methods for yourself include:

  • Working on a task for only 10 minutes. The short duration may seem like it adds up to nothing; however, in the long run (say a few months), you will shift from procrastinating to forming an effective habit. Small steps can lead to great results!

  • Breaking down your tasks into smaller bite-sized to-dos. You can maintain a separate column to list the major tasks, which will give you a bigger picture of what you need to complete in a day or a week. However, create another column to break down the ‘giant’ tasks into smaller steps. Ticking off multiple checkboxes and seeing your progress in real time can make you feel accomplished! 

  • Changing your environment. Working in a cluttered area can distract you. For example, if you work in the dining room and have too many snacks, you would probably munch on them instead of finishing your task. Hence, it’s important to allot specific areas in your house (or workplace) to specific tasks. 

In the next few sections, we share detailed information about scientific tools you can implement in your life to overcome procrastination! 

Temptation Bundling

Temptation building, rooted in the psychology theory known as Premack’s Principle, is an ingenious method to motivate oneself. 

Professor David Premack’s principle suggests that behaviours we are more inclined to do can be used to reinforce those we are less inclined to do. 

In simpler terms, if you dread a task, like sorting out a pile of paperwork, you are more likely to tackle it if it means you get to indulge in something you love afterwards!

Crafting Your Temptation Building Strategy

To effectively implement temptation building, begin by sketching out a two-column list:

  • Column one: Jot down activities you genuinely enjoy or are tempted to indulge in.

  • Column two: List tasks you know you should be doing but often postpone.

Try to list down as many tasks as possible in both columns. Once you have populated both columns, it is time to pair a ‘want’ activity (eg something you enjoy) from the first column with a task you ‘should’ do (eg those that are not your favourite).

The goal is to use the former task as a reward to entice you to complete the latter.

For instance, if you are a fan of a particular podcast, promise yourself an episode only after you have spent an hour on a task you have been avoiding. 

Or perhaps you love a particular café; treat yourself to their speciality only after completing a challenging work assignment.

Examples of Temptation Building

The below examples have two paired tasks: one that might be a ‘want’ task and the other that might be a ‘should’ task.

  • Fitness (should) and TV (want): Commit to only watching your cherished TV series while on the treadmill or stationary bike.

  • Meeting (should) and Dining (want): Reserve visits to your favourite eatery for when you need to have those challenging business discussions.

  • Cleaning (should) and Relaxation (want): Only allow yourself a luxurious bath after you have tackled a portion of your house cleaning.

The brilliance of temptation building is that it does not just stop at pairing two activities. It can seamlessly integrate with other productivity techniques, such as habit stacking. 

This involves creating a sequence of actions, where one habit naturally leads to the next. For example:

“After I finish my morning meditation, I’ll draft that report I’ve been postponing.”

“Once the report is done, I’ll reward myself with an episode of my favourite drama.”

The underlying hope is that, over time, the line between what you ‘need’ to do and what you ‘want’ to do blurs. The anticipation of the reward makes the task at hand seem less daunting.

Commitment Device

Procrastination, the act of delaying tasks, is a self-regulation problem that many grapple with. It is not just about the fear of failure; any aversive emotion can trigger it. 

While it offers temporary relief, it often culminates in negative emotions like guilt and shame. However, the commitment device is a tool that can help you overcome procrastination. 

A commitment device is an arrangement that makes certain future choices more expensive, thereby limiting them. 

For it to qualify as a commitment device, it must meet two conditions. 

  1. Firstly, an individual would willingly pay (either literally or figuratively) something now to make future choices more ‘expensive’, even if there were no other benefits. 

  2. Secondly, the arrangement should not have a strategic purpose concerning others. 

In essence, commitment devices are pre-commitments that individuals make to themselves to achieve a goal, even when faced with temptations or distractions.

Implementing a Commitment Device

So, how does one implement a commitment device? Let’s delve into the step-by-step process:

  • Identify the goal: Before anything else, clearly define what you are trying to achieve. Whether completing a project, losing weight, or saving money, having a clear goal is important.

  • Recognise the temptations: Understand what usually sidetracks you from your goal. Is it social media, comfort food, or impulse shopping? Recognising these temptations is crucial.

  • Design the device: Now, create a mechanism that makes giving in to these temptations more ‘costly’. For instance, if you are trying to reduce screen time, you could use apps that block social media during work hours.

  • Commit publicly: Sharing your goal and your commitment device with friends or family can increase accountability. They can remind you of your commitment when you are procrastinating.

  • Review and adjust: Regularly evaluate the effectiveness of your commitment device. If it is not working as intended, tweak it or try a different approach.

2-Minute Rule

The essence of the 2-Minute Rule is that starting a new habit or task should take less than two minutes to do. 

For instance, if your goal is to read before bed each night, scale it down to “Read one page.” If you aim to do thirty minutes of yoga, begin with “Take out my yoga mat.” 

The objective is to simplify the task to such an extent that it becomes almost trivial to start.

Examples of the 2-Minute Rule

  • “Study for class” becomes “Open my notes.”

  • “Fold the laundry” turns into “Fold one pair of socks.”

  • “Run three miles” is reduced to “Tie my running shoes.”

The underlying idea is to make the beginning of a habit as effortless as possible. Once you have initiated the right action, continuing becomes much more manageable. 

These initial two minutes are a ‘gateway habit’ that sets you on a more productive trajectory.

You can overcome procrastination by following the 2-minute rule. Simply let yourself work on the habit for 2 minutes and take it from there!

Why Does the 2-Minute Rule Work?

You might wonder, why bother with just reading a page or tying your shoes? The magic lies not in the completion of the task but in the act of showing up. As proven by research, showing up is already 80% of the accomplishment.

Establishing a habit is the first step; refining and expanding it comes later. This is because – if you find starting a task difficult in the first place, executing and maintaining it becomes extremely difficult.

By ritualising the start of a process, you pave the way for deep focus. For instance, by doing the same warm-up before every workout, you condition your brain to carry out the actual workout every time you do the warm-up.

Some might argue that the 2-Minute Rule is just a psychological trick, and if you are aware of it, why would it work? If it feels too contrived, here is a twist: genuinely stop after two minutes. 

Go for a run, but halt after two minutes. Meditate, but stop after two minutes. 

Try to alternate between stopping the habit after precisely two minutes and forcing yourself to continue for even more effective results. 

The point is that, like how it is hard to start a task, once we actually do it for two minutes, our brain gets used to being in the ‘active mode’, and eventually, we might feel uncomfortable and annoyed to stop right after 2 minutes. 

The Power of Identity Reinforcement

Another reason this strategy is effective is its ability to reinforce the identity you aim to build. 

If you consistently show up at the gym, even for just two minutes, you reinforce your identity as someone who works out. 

It is not about the workout itself but becoming the type of person who never misses one. By taking the smallest action, you affirm the kind of person you aspire to be.

In a world obsessed with end goals, it is easy to forget the power of small steps. But remember, one push-up is better than none. One minute of reading is better than never touching a book (albeit only if these are your personal goals). 

It is always more fruitful to do a tad less than you hoped than to do nothing at all!

In conclusion, try the 2-Minute Rule or other habit-building strategies whenever you struggle with a habit or task. These are scientifically proven and potent tools that can help you overcome procrastination.

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Social Media & Mental Health: How Is It Connected?

Posted on by rootal

Do you check your social media as the first thing you do when waking up and the last thing you do before going to sleep? We admit we do, too. 

In fact, it’s so common that recent research proves that nearly 4.48 billion people use social media actively (ie throughout the day). 

But what is the real cost of using social media, despite its effects on our mental health?

Social media has a dark side to it, and its negative effects on mental health are real and need attention. The constant need to filter our faces and lie about our lives just to fit in can ruin our self-image and confidence. 

Moreover, the pressure to have a ‘perfect’ life can lead to issues like generalised anxiety disorder and chronic stress. 

Do note that social media is not all negative – the internet does have several positive aspects that make our lives easier.

For example, the internet allows us to find social and peer support that we might not have in real life. 

Similarly, some people may have no friends and struggle with loneliness. Social media bridges that gap and helps us find friends in our communities. 

But how do we find the balance between the positive and negative? What amount of scrolling is healthy? Should we spend hours scrolling at all?

In this article, we will talk about the negative aspects of social media and explore tips and techniques we can implement to counteract these challenges!   

This Article Contains:

Negative Effects of Social Media

Social media can be fun because we get to see people from all over the world and interact with various sorts of content. 

However, there are negative effects of social media that can impact our mental health if left unaddressed. 

For example, platforms like Instagram are known for the hundreds of different filters that one can use to ‘enhance’ their face or body type. 

Seeing ‘perfect’ posts like spending holidays in Thailand or eating high-quality food every day can make us feel bad about ourselves. 

We also tend to compare our lives and lifestyles with those of others constantly, and this comparison can make us feel like we’re never enough. 

Moreover, there is an unsaid competition regarding how many likes or comments one receives. More popularity could mean a better life. But is that true? 

If we don’t receive enough visibility on social media platforms, we may directly associate it with our lack of self-worth and confidence. 

Spending too much time online can also disrupt our sleep schedules, routines, and our closeness with loved ones.

Lastly, social media platforms are created in a way where we see and hear only the things we already know and agree with. Due to this, our ability to reach out and seek new ideologies and perspectives may become limited. 

Social Media and Depression

People who frequently post content to seek validation (likes, comments) are usually more vulnerable to depressive symptoms when they do not receive the expected feedback or validation. 

As researchers continue to study the effects of social media on mental health, we as users must be proactive in exploring safe and healthy online usage.

Depressive symptoms refer to a range of emotional, cognitive, and physical challenges associated with depression. 

These can include:

  • Persistent feelings of sadness

  • Hopelessness, or emptiness

  • A lack of interest or pleasure in activities once enjoyed

  • Fatigue or decreased energy

  • Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

  • Changes in appetite and sleep patterns

  • Feelings of worthlessness or guilt

  • In severe cases, recurrent thoughts of death 

Social media, while offering connection and information-sharing avenues, can inadvertently worsen depressive symptoms.

Recent research has also shed light on the intricate relationship between social media usage and depression, mainly focusing on specific aspects of the online experience that contribute to depressive symptoms. 

The two primary factors on social media platforms that can lead to heightened depressive symptoms are:

Comparison

By their very nature, social media encourages users to compare their lives with others. Scrolling through curated highlights of friends, acquaintances, and even strangers can lead to feelings of inadequacy. 

A research study shows that people who frequently engage in comparison-driven scrolling exhibit higher levels of depressive symptoms.

Time Displacement

The more time individuals spend online, the less time they have for offline, real-world activities. This displacement can lead to decreased physical activity and face-to-face social interactions, both of which have protective effects against depression. 

Social Media and Anxiety

Realising how much mental health issues have increased since social media platforms have become popular might be quite a shock.

Ignoring the link between extensive online activity and anxiety symptoms is almost impossible. The constant influx of information from social media platforms can lead to cognitive overload. 

This bombardment of data makes it challenging for the brain to process, often resulting in feelings of overwhelm and stress.

Additionally, the fear of missing out, or FOMO, is a genuine phenomenon. As users see others partaking in events or experiences they are not involved in; it can induce feelings of exclusion and heightened anxiety.

Lastly, the pressure to maintain a curated and perfect online persona can further increase anxiety symptoms. 

Body Image Issues

Digital platforms have a profound impact on our self-perception. Platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook overflow with filtered and often altered images of ‘ideal’ bodies. 

This constant exposure can distort one’s perception of a ‘normal’ body. It can instead make us believe that there is a specific way everyone has to look – a particular type of body that is “normal”. 

Once we fall to this idea, we start engaging in what is often self-destructive behaviours to achieve this ‘ideal’ body type. 

Firstly, the algorithmic nature of these platforms means users are often shown more of what they engage with. If one frequently views or interacts with images of ‘perfect’ bodies, the algorithm serves more of the same, creating a skewed reality.

Secondly, the rise of filters and photo-editing apps allows instant ‘improvements’ to one’s appearance. Over time, this can lead to dissatisfaction with one’s unfiltered self. For example, people might start believing that having pimples or cellulite is not common – especially because they do not see the real skin textures and skin types on screen. 

However, what we do not see on social media is the fact that all our bodies are different – they have different textures, different colours, different percentages of body fat, and different shapes. 

They are all equally beautiful and normal! Body positivity is an essential concept that can help us normalise all body types. 

Social media affects mental health and makes us believe that there is a specific way everyone has to look.

Cyberbullying

Where sharing personal content on social media platforms is encouraged, it also often exposes users to unsolicited and negative experiences. 

Cyberbullies exploit these platforms to target individuals, using tactics such as direct threats, doxing (revealing personal information), or creating derogatory memes. 

The anonymity provided by the internet encourages these bullies, making them more aggressive and gaining more advantage. Victims often experience a barrage of hate, leading to severe mental health repercussions like anxiety, depression, and, in extreme cases, self-harm. 

Hence, users must be aware of privacy settings, report abusive behaviour, and seek support when faced with cyberbullying. 

Signs That Social Media Is Affecting Your Mental Health

While social media platforms offer a way to stay connected and informed, they also have potential drawbacks that can adversely affect your mental well-being. 

It is not just about the amount of time you spend online but also the quality of that time and its impact on your emotional and psychological state. 

To help you evaluate whether your social media usage is a boon or a bane, we have outlined actionable insights that serve as indicators. You can take informed steps to ensure a healthier digital life by asking yourself specific questions related to these signs.

Signs

Emotional toll after scrolling

It is a red flag if you notice a dip in your mood, increased anxiety, or feelings of inadequacy after scrolling through social media. 

Ask yourself: “How do I feel emotionally after using social media?” It might be time to reassess your usage if the answer leans towards negative emotions.

Procrastination and reduced productivity

Are you delaying work tasks or neglecting responsibilities due to excessive social media use? 

Ask yourself: “Is my productivity suffering because of the time spent online?” If yes, consider setting app limits or scheduling specific ‘social media time’.

Social comparison and envy

Social media often portrays idealised versions of life, leading to social comparison. 

If you think, “Why is my life not as perfect as theirs?” it is a sign that social media affects your self-esteem.

Using social media as an emotional crutch

If you are using social media to escape negative emotions or loneliness, it is rarely a healthy coping mechanism. 

Instead, ask yourself: “Am I using social media to avoid dealing with my emotions?” If you answer yes, seek healthier options like talking to a friend, watching a TV show, or engaging in physical activity.

Obsession with likes and validation

If your mood is significantly affected by the number of likes or comments you receive, it is a concern. 

Ask yourself: “Am I seeking validation through social media?” If yes, detaching your self-worth from online approval is crucial and can benefit significantly in the long run!

Reducing Negative Impacts of Social Media on Mental Health

On one side, social media has the potential for connection, inspiration, and even professional growth. 

Conversely, the pitfalls of anxiety, time-wasting, and negative self-comparison appear large. Striking a balance is key, and that is precisely what we will explore in this section!

Below are some strategies to help you develop a more positive and intentional relationship with social media platforms.

Identify your social media goals

Firstly, it is crucial to understand why you are using social media. Are you looking to stay connected with family and friends or use it for professional networking? 

Once you have identified your goals, you can tailor your social media use to serve those specific objectives. 

This will make your online time more productive and reduce the chances of aimless scrolling, which often leads to negative emotional states.

Implement time management techniques

Time management is integral to maintaining a healthy relationship with social media. Consider using apps that track your screen time or setting alarms to remind you to log off. 

Allocate specific ‘social media time’ in your daily schedule, and stick to it. This will help you become more mindful of your online time and make disengagement easier.

Curate your feed for positivity

Your social media experience is primarily determined by the content you consume. Try to unfollow accounts that consistently post harmful or triggering content. 

Instead, focus on following accounts that inspire, educate, or uplift you. This simple change can drastically improve your mental well-being and make your time spent on social media more fulfilling.

Set boundaries for work-life balance

Using social media for work makes it easy to blur the lines between professional and personal time. 

Establish clear boundaries by designating ‘work-only’ and ‘personal-only’ platforms. 

For example, you may want to use LinkedIn solely for work and Instagram for personal connections. This separation will help you switch off from work when you are off the clock.

Engage, don't just scroll

Passive scrolling can lead to feelings of inadequacy and FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). Instead, make your social media interaction more meaningful. 

Comment on your friends’ achievements, share articles that resonate with you and engage in interesting discussions. 

This active participation enriches your social media experience and fosters a sense of community and belonging.

Practise digital detox days

Taking a break from social media, or having dopamine detox days can be incredibly refreshing. Choose a day each week when you log off from all your social media accounts. 

Use this time to engage in activities that nourish your soul and mind, whether reading, hiking, or spending quality time with loved ones. 

This small break can significantly improve your mental health and make your subsequent social media interactions more intentional.

By implementing these specific, achievable solutions, or by seeking professional help from therapists, you will be well on your way to cultivating a healthier, more balanced relationship with social media.

Frequently Answered Questions

What is cognitive overload?

Cognitive overload refers to the volume of information, or the complexity of tasks presented to an individual that exceeds their cognitive processing capacity.

In simpler terms, it is when the brain is given more information or tasks than it can handle at once, leading to decreased efficiency, comprehension, and retention.

Several factors can contribute to cognitive overload:

  • Multitasking: Juggling multiple tasks can strain the brain, as it constantly shifts focus. E.g., scrolling on Instagram and organising daily tasks.

  • Information Overload: This is especially prevalent in the digital age, where endless streams of data, notifications, and content are available at our fingertips.

  • Complexity: Being presented with tasks or information that are too complex or unfamiliar can lead to overload. 

Cognitive overload can result in feelings of stress, confusion, and frustration. Social media is currently one of the top reasons contributing to cognitive overload. Over time, if not managed, it can contribute to burnout and decreased mental well-being.

What is the impact of social media on the mental health of students?

The constant notifications and the urge to check social media can severely disturb a student’s ability to focus during study sessions. This distraction can lead to poor retention, ultimately affecting grades and academic performance.

In terms of social relationships, while social media can help maintain connections, it can also create a false sense of social fulfilment. 

Students may neglect face-to-face interactions, missing out on the depth and quality of real-world relationships. This can lead to loneliness and isolation despite being ‘connected’ online.

Moreover, compulsiveness manifests in the need to constantly check social media for updates, even during lectures or family dinners. 

This compulsive behaviour can be academically and socially harmful, as it can be perceived as rudeness or disinterest in the immediate environment.

The impact on sleep is another concern. Students may find themselves scrolling through feeds late into the night, affecting both the quantity and quality of sleep. 

Poor sleep can, in turn, affect academic performance, mood, and overall mental well-being.

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Voyeuristic Disorder: Symptoms and Treatments

Posted on by rootal

In recent years, the public’s understanding and awareness of mental health disorders have significantly improved. However, among the myriad of conditions, one that still remains relatively obscure is voyeuristic disorder. So, what is voyeuristic disorder?

By definition, voyeuristic disorder refers to the recurrent and intense sexual arousal stemming from observing an unsuspecting individual who is undressing or engaging in sexual activities. This often leads to distress and impairment in the individual’s daily functioning.

The attributes of voyeuristic disorder vary, with some individuals experiencing only mild symptoms while others experience severe distress. In addition, diagnosing voyeuristic disorder can be challenging. It often involves a combination of clinical interviews, psychological assessments, and self-report measures.

In this long-form article, we will delve into the characteristics of voyeuristic disorder, its symptoms, diagnosis, and coping strategies.

  • This article first looks at the different symptoms to understand this disorder’s emotional, behavioural, and cognitive manifestations and the ways it affects the lives of those who suffer from it.

  • It then expands on about diagnostic process and the criteria mental health professionals use to determine whether an individual suffers from voyeuristic disorder.

  • Thereafter, it discusses the various treatment options available, ranging from psychotherapy to medication, and their effectiveness in managing the disorder.

This Article Contains:

Understanding Voyeurism

Characteristics of Paraphilic Disorders

This section’s focus lies on understanding voyeuristic disorder in the context of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). The DSM-5, a comprehensive resource for mental health professionals, provides a standardised framework for diagnosing and understanding various mental health disorders.

Paraphilias can be centred around diverse foci, such as objects, circumstances, animals, or individuals like children or non-consenting adults. The establishment of these arousal patterns typically occurs during late childhood or around puberty and often persists throughout one’s lifetime.

It is essential to recognise that having variety in sexual activity is typical of healthy adult relationships and fantasies. As long as the people involved consent and cause no harm to each other, unconventional sexual behaviours can be part of a nurturing and loving partnership.

However, when these behaviours result in distress, harm, or disruption to daily functioning, they are deemed paraphilic disorders. The anguish may stem from societal disapproval or an individual’s guilt about engaging in socially unacceptable acts.

Paraphilic disorders can severely hinder a person’s ability to engage in affectionate and reciprocal sexual activities. As a result, partners of those with a paraphilic disorder might feel objectified, insignificant, or unneeded within the sexual relationship.

Some of the most prevalent paraphilic disorders include:

  • Exhibitionistic disorder

  • Pedophilic disorder

  • Transvestic disorder

  • Voyeuristic disorder

Other less common paraphilic disorders include sexual masochism disorder and sexual sadism disorder.

Voyeurism vs Voyeuristic Disorder

Paraphilic disorders encompass a range of sexual interests that deviate from normative sexual behaviour. One such disorder, known as a voyeuristic disorder, warrants particular attention due to its impact on both individuals and society.

Voyeurism refers to the act of observing others in intimate situations, often without their knowledge or consent. The term “voyeuristic disorder” is often used interchangeably with “voyeurism”. Nonetheless, the latter is a broader term that encompasses both non-pathological and pathological behaviours. In contrast, voyeuristic disorder refers explicitly to a harmful manifestation of voyeurism that negatively impacts the individual or others.

As mentioned earlier, voyeuristic disorder is a clinical diagnosis and falls under the category of paraphilic disorders. Hence, it is crucial to differentiate between voyeurism and voyeuristic disorder, as the latter is a mental health issue requiring professional intervention and treatment.

Recognising the distinction promotes a better understanding of this complex behaviour and facilitates appropriate care and support for those affected.

Symptoms of Voyeuristic Disorder

Voyeuristic disorder presents various signs and symptoms, reflecting a persistent and recurring pattern of harmful behaviours. These behaviours often transgress the boundaries of privacy and consent. In order to better comprehend the nature of voyeuristic disorder, it is crucial to examine its manifestations and explore examples of when these behaviours may become a cause for concern.

Violation of privacy

One of the most apparent symptoms of voyeuristic disorder is the violation of an individual’s expectation of privacy, such as observing them in their home, a changing room, or other private spaces. For instance, a person with voyeuristic disorder may be drawn to peeking through a neighbour’s window to catch a glimpse of them undressing, even though they are fully aware that their actions are invasive and unacceptable.

Engaging in non-consensual acts

Another example of voyeuristic disorder symptoms involves individuals engaging in non-consensual acts, such as filming or photographing others without their permission. For instance, someone with this disorder might secretly record their co-worker’s intimate moments in a hotel room during a business trip. This not only invades the victim’s privacy but also poses significant legal and ethical concerns.

Voyeuristic disorder becomes an issue when the affected individual experiences distress or frustration in the absence of voyeuristic activities. Additionally, they may feel guilt or remorse after engaging in such behaviours yet find it difficult to resist the urge to continue.

Furthermore, an individual’s inability to achieve sexual arousal without resorting to voyeurism indicates a significant dependence on these activities and highlights the detrimental impact on their wellbeing.

Intrusive thoughts might cloud the head of the individual and create distress.

Other symptoms

Some other symptoms include:

  1. Intrusive thoughts: Individuals with voyeuristic disorder may have unwanted thoughts about watching others, which can be distressing and difficult to control.

  2. Recurrent fantasies: They may experience recurring dreams about watching others engage in sexual activity or having someone observe them.

  3. Risk-taking behaviour: Individuals with voyeuristic disorder may take risks to satisfy their voyeuristic desires, such as trespassing or installing hidden cameras.

  4. Social withdrawal: They may feel shame or guilt about their voyeuristic tendencies, leading to social withdrawal or avoidance of social situations.

  5. Lack of empathy: They may disregard the privacy and autonomy of the individuals they observe.

Diagnosing Voyeuristic Disorder

Diagnosing voyeuristic disorder is a complex and delicate process, requiring the expertise of a medical doctor or professional therapist. When an individual exhibits voyeuristic urges and fantasies that cause significant distress or impair their ability to function in daily life, a diagnosis of voyeuristic disorder may be considered.

It is essential to recognise that professionals only diagnose voyeuristic disorder if the symptoms have persisted for at least six months.

In order to differentiate voyeuristic disorder from genuine sexual curiosity, particularly in children, a person must be at least 18 years old before they can be diagnosed with this condition.

In addition, the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) outlines specific criteria for diagnosing voyeuristic disorder, including:

  • having symptoms for a minimum of six months;

  • acting on sexual urges with a non-consenting person; and / or

  • being 18 years of age or older.

To proceed with the diagnosis, an individual’s voyeuristic urges and behaviours must be severe enough to cause harm or distress to themselves or others. According to research, voyeuristic disorder affects men more than women – where the prevalence of voyeuristic disorder is estimated to be up to 12% in men and 4% in women.

When to see a professional?

It is important to note that individuals with voyeuristic disorder are often not diagnosed until they are caught committing sexual offences due to their condition. This occurs because they are unlikely to disclose their condition to a medical professional or a loved one.

If you recognise symptoms of voyeuristic disorder in someone you know, try to encourage them to seek help. Early intervention and treatment can prevent the condition from escalating to a point where the affected person might commit a sexual offence.

Lastly, it is essential to understand that voyeurism, in and of itself, is not a disorder. Many people enjoy engaging in voyeurism, which involves consensually watching and being aroused by another person performing a sexual act. Another key point is that voyeuristic individuals typically do not engage in sexual activity with the person they are observing.

Treating Voyeuristic Disorder

Voyeuristic disorder can have detrimental effects on the lives of individuals and those subject to their behaviours. Therefore, it is essential to seek professional help to treat voyeuristic disorder effectively. Some of the treatment options are:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a widely used therapeutic approach for addressing voyeuristic disorder. It focuses on identifying and challenging maladaptive thoughts and beliefs that contribute to developing and maintaining voyeuristic tendencies.

Here’s a step-by-step example of how CBT might be applied:

  1. Establish rapport and build trust: The therapist creates a safe, non-judgmental environment to help clients feel comfortable discussing their voyeuristic behaviours and thoughts.

  2. Assessment and goal setting: The therapist assesses the client’s voyeuristic tendencies and helps them set realistic and specific goals for reducing or eliminating these behaviours.

  3. Psychoeducation: The therapist provides information about voyeuristic disorder, including symptoms, causes, and potential consequences. This helps the client develop a better understanding of their condition.

  4. Identify cognitive distortions: The therapist and client work together to identify the client’s irrational thoughts and beliefs related to voyeurism, such as overestimating the potential rewards or underestimating the risks associated with the behaviour.

  5. Cognitive restructuring: The therapist helps the client challenge and modify their irrational thoughts and beliefs, replacing them with more adaptive and realistic ones.

  6. Behavioural strategies: The therapist introduces various techniques to help clients manage their voyeuristic urges and develop healthier coping mechanisms. The therapist and client work together to create a plan for preventing relapse, including identifying potential triggers, implementing coping strategies, and seeking support when needed.

  7. Monitor progress and adjust treatment: Throughout the treatment, the therapist monitors the client’s progress and adjusts the intervention as necessary, ensuring that the therapy suits the client’s unique needs.

  8. Termination and follow-up: Once the client has achieved their treatment goals, the therapist and client collaboratively decide to terminate therapy. The therapist may schedule follow-up sessions to ensure the client continues to maintain progress and address any challenges that arise.

Example

Irrational thought: “Watching others without their consent is the only way I can feel sexually satisfied.” Revised idea: “There are other ways to feel sexually satisfied that do not violate someone’s privacy and consent.”

Other interventions include:

  • Urge surfing: Acknowledging and observing the voyeuristic urge without acting on it and allowing the urge to pass.

  • Developing alternative activities: Engaging in activities that promote self-esteem, social skills, and healthy relationships.

  • Avoiding triggers: Identifying and avoiding situations or environments that may provoke voyeuristic urges.

  • Social skills training: The therapist helps clients improve their communication and social skills to build and maintain healthy relationships, thus reducing the need for voyeuristic behaviours.
During group therapy, individuals with voyeuristic disorder can share their experiences and struggles with each other.

Group Therapy

Group therapy is another valuable treatment option for individuals struggling with voyeuristic disorder. Individuals can share their experiences and learn from others facing similar challenges by participating in group therapy sessions.

Therapists facilitate these groups to ensure a safe and supportive environment. They encourage open communication and foster a sense of camaraderie among participants.

This type of therapy can also help with voyeuristic disorders. It provides a safe space to discuss everybody’s experiences, learn from others, stay accountable for their actions, and develop new coping strategies.

How does group therapy help with voyeuristic disorder?

Here’s a step-by-step example of how CBT might be applied:

  1. Screening and assessment: Before joining a group therapy session, participants usually undergo a thorough evaluation by a mental health professional to determine if they have voyeuristic disorder and if group therapy is an appropriate treatment option.

  2. Introduction to the group: The therapist will introduce the individual to the group, allowing them to become acquainted with other members who share similar experiences and challenges.

  3. Establish group norms: The therapist will set guidelines for group conduct, emphasising confidentiality, respect, and open communication.

  4. Psychoeducation: The therapist may provide information about voyeuristic disorder, its prevalence, causes, and potential consequences.

  5. Shared experiences: Group members are encouraged to openly discuss their experiences, thoughts, and feelings related to voyeuristic behaviours. This helps individuals recognise they are not alone and fosters a sense of empathy and understanding among group members.

  6. Identify triggers: The therapist will guide members in identifying their triggers for voyeuristic behaviour, helping them become more self-aware and better prepared to manage their impulses.

  7. Develop coping strategies: The group will work together to develop healthy coping mechanisms, like engaging in alternative activities, seeking social support, or practising relaxation techniques.

  8. Cognitive restructuring: The therapist may guide the group in examining and challenging distorted thoughts and beliefs related to voyeuristic disorder.

  9. Check-ins and progress assessment: The therapist may periodically assess each group member’s progress and adjust the treatment plan as needed.

  10. Termination and follow-up: Once the individual has made significant progress in managing their voyeuristic disorder, the therapist may recommend ending group therapy.

It’s important to note that therapists tailor the treatment plans to each individual’s needs. As such, the specific steps and techniques used in group therapy may vary.

Medication

Medications can also play a huge role in treating voyeuristic disorders. For example, a therapist may collaborate with a psychiatrist to prescribe medications such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) or anti-androgens, which can help manage impulsive behaviours and reduce sexual urges.

It is important to note that medications are usually not a standalone treatment, and doctors recommend using them in conjunction with therapy for optimal results.

Coping Tips

In addition to these primary treatment methods, therapists can provide individuals with various coping tips to manage their voyeuristic impulses. These may involve practising mindfulness or deep breathing exercises and developing healthier hobbies or interests.

In conclusion, treating voyeuristic disorder involves a multifaceted approach that encompasses several techniques. A therapist plays a crucial role in guiding individuals through each treatment plan, ensuring they receive the necessary support and guidance to overcome this challenging condition.

With the appropriate treatment, individuals can learn to manage and eventually overcome voyeuristic disorder, leading to healthier and more fulfilling lives.

How to Engage in Voyeurism Responsibly?

The primary concern surrounding voyeuristic disorder is violating privacy and lacking consent from those involved. However, it is crucial to distinguish between unethical voyeurism, which leads to voyeuristic disorder, and responsible voyeurism, which respects boundaries and consent. These are some of the ways to engage in responsible voyeurism:

Ethical pornography

This form of adult entertainment ensures that all performers are consenting adults and are fairly compensated for their work. By choosing ethical pornography, individuals can safely engage in voyeuristic desires without violating others’ privacy or exploiting performers. However, pornography can be misleading, and it is crucial to look for ethical entertainment.

Tip: Look for consent-focused, transparent production practices.

  1. Research studios and performers: Find ethical porn studios that prioritise consent, communication, and the wellbeing of their performers. Look for companies that pay fair wages and maintain safe working conditions.

  2. Check performer statements: Ensure performers have voluntarily participated and given their consent. Look for interviews, blog posts, or social media updates from performers confirming their involvement and positive experiences.

  3. Support ethical platforms: Use websites that promote and distribute ethical porn.

  4. Educate yourself on voyeuristic disorder: Understand the difference between consensual voyeurism and the non-consensual behaviour associated with voyeuristic disorder. Make sure the content you choose does not promote or glorify non-consensual acts.

Lastly, remember that engaging with porn responsibly and being aware of the ethical implications are crucial. Researching the porn industry takes only a little of your time. Once you have a list of resources, you can enjoy them without any guilt or anxiety!

Seek explicit consent

Consent is of paramount importance in responsible voyeurism. All parties involved should be fully aware of the voyeuristic activities and have explicitly agreed to participate.

Should your partner(s) express interest in engaging in voyeurism, ensure that you obtain their explicit consent. This means discussing and agreeing upon the specifics of the activity, such as the location, duration, and limitations or boundaries. Consent should be enthusiastic, informed, and continuous. More importantly, anybody can withdraw consent at any time, so it is crucial to remain open to ongoing communication.

Start with open communication

The foundation of any healthy relationship or sexual encounter is open, honest communication. Before broaching the subject of voyeurism, ensure that you and your partner(s) are comfortable discussing intimate topics. Then, introduce the idea of voyeurism in a non-threatening, casual manner. For example, you might say, “I have always been curious about voyeurism and wondered what your thoughts are on the subject?”

Educate and inform

If your partner(s) is / are not familiar with voyeurism, it is important to provide them with accurate information about the practice. Try to explain the appeal and the boundaries that you would like to establish.

Gauge their interest

Once you have introduced the topic and provided some background information, gauge your partner’s interest in participating. This might involve asking how they feel about the idea or if they have any concerns or questions. Try to give them ample time and space to process the information and decide.

Respect your partner's boundaries at all times.

Be respectful of boundaries

Respect is a key component of any consensual sexual encounter, and voyeurism is no exception. Try honouring any agreed-upon boundaries and checking in with your partner(s) during the experience. If they express discomfort or a desire to stop, promptly cease the activity and reassess the situation together.

Other ideas

Role-playing presents another avenue for responsibly exploring voyeuristic desires. Couples or groups can consensually enact voyeuristic fantasies, allowing for a safe and controlled environment to explore these desires.

By participating in role-playing, you can enjoy the thrill of voyeurism without the ethical concerns associated with non-consensual voyeurism!

Lastly, Erotica, in the form of books or podcasts, offers a further option for engaging in responsible voyeurism. By consuming such content, you can indulge in your fantasies without directly observing others. This ensures that your desires do not infringe on anyone’s privacy or consent.

In conclusion, if you find yourself enjoying the idea of voyeurism, do explore all the responsible activities and see what brings you the most joy. However, if you notice that excessively engaging in these behaviours is hampering your daily functioning, it might help to look for professional help.

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Exhibitionistic Disorder: Symptoms, Cause, and Treatment

Posted on by shilpa

Engaging in a conversation or discussion about sex can make it a potentially touchy topic (pun intended). There is a stigma revolving around “unconventional” topics like sex, kinks, role play, and so on. 

In reality, sexual practices involving consenting adults are entirely normal, common, and healthy. However, the topic has some downsides, which we can avoid once we learn the differences between safe sex and disordered behaviour. This leads us to the main topic of our article – exhibitionistic disorder. 

Exhibitionistic disorder, also known as exhibitionism, is a type of paraphilic disorder where individuals derive sexual excitement and gratification by exposing their genitals to non-consenting people. This disorder can also include the strong urge to show one’s sexual activity to others.

Exhibitionistic disorder is more commonly found in men than women and typically begins in early adulthood. In fact, research suggests that about 30% of men charged with a sexual crime are exhibitionists. Individuals with this disorder may become sexually aroused or masturbate while revealing their genitals. But sexually engaging with a non-consenting spectator does not typically interest them.

If people consent to it, exhibitionism is not inherently disordered. However, it is clinically classified as a disorder that causes suffering or distress when the urge is continuous, intense, and abnormal. This article will delve deeper into the symptoms, causes, and available treatments for exhibitionistic disorder. 

This Article Contains:

Understanding Exhibitionistic Disorder

Causes of Exhibitionistic Disorder

Exhibitionistic disorder is a complex condition with no apparent cause. However, research has identified several factors that may contribute to its development. Not a lot of studies talk about the risk factors for the disorder in males. Yet, some common factors include antisocial personality disorder, alcohol abuse, and interest in paedophilia.

In addition, individuals who have experienced sexual or emotional abuse during childhood may be more likely to develop exhibitionistic disorder. Some people who display exhibitionistic behaviour also engage in other paraphilias and are considered hypersexual. 

As applied to paraphilias, the theory of courtship disorder suggests that exhibitionists perceive their victims’ shocked response to their behaviour as a form of sexual interest, leading them to further engage in the act.

Although exhibitionistic behaviour may seem harmless, some exhibitionists may go on to commit sexual crimes such as rape. In fact, approximately one-third of sex crimes reported to the police involve incidences of exhibitionism.

While the cause of the exhibitionistic disorder is unknown, scientists believe that physical, medical, and psychological factors may all play a role in its development. Some other possible risk factors include conduct disorder and high testosterone levels.

In the next section, we will explore the symptoms of exhibitionistic disorder, which can help individuals identify if they or someone they know may be struggling with this condition.

Symptoms of Exhibitionistic Disorder

Behavioural Symptoms

One of the primary symptoms of exhibitionistic disorder is engaging in exhibitionistic behaviour, such as exposing one’s genitals to unsuspecting people. Sexual arousal, fantasies, or urges accompany this behaviour. 

Exhibitionists may feel a strong compulsion to engage in this behaviour and find it challenging to resist their impulses. People often exhibit this behaviour in public places like parks, malls, or public restrooms. 

Emotional Symptoms

Individuals with exhibitionistic disorder may experience a range of emotional symptoms, including shame, guilt, and embarrassment. They may feel guilty about their behaviour and fear that law enforcement will catch them.  

They may also feel ashamed of their actions and struggle with low self-esteem. Exhibitionists may experience distress or impairment in their ability to function at home, school, or work due to their uncontrollable urges.

Physical Symptoms

The physical symptoms of exhibitionistic disorder may include increased heart rate, sweating, and sexual arousal. Exhibitionists may experience sexual excitement and gratification when they expose themselves to someone. Typically, they may seek out this behaviour repeatedly to achieve sexual gratification.

Individuals with these impulses may only be able to achieve sexual excitement and gratification when they expose themselves to someone. 

Exhibitionistic disorder can cause feelings of guilt in individuals, particularly if it violates social norms or laws and causes harm to others.

Diagnosing Exhibitionistic Disorder

Clinicians diagnose exhibitionistic disorder after ruling out medical problems that may be causing the symptoms. Once they rule out medical causes, mental health professionals consider whether the individual meets the diagnostic criteria for an exhibitionistic disorder.

Diagnostic Criteria

The diagnostic criteria for exhibitionistic disorder include persistent sexual arousal, fantasies, or urges involving exposing the genitals to an unsuspecting person or performing sex acts before a non-consenting audience. 

  • The patient must have acted on these urges, or the symptoms must cause significant impairment in social situations, at work, or elsewhere.
  • The symptoms must have been present for at least six months.
  • It is crucial to note that being aroused by exhibitionistic acts for a consenting adult audience is not a sign of the disorder.
  • Doctors will consider the diagnosis only if the urges or actions involve non-consenting audiences (adults or children) or the symptoms cause distress.

Evaluation Methods

The diagnostic process for exhibitionistic disorder involves a physical exam and psychological assessments.

The physical exam aims to rule out physical conditions that could be causing the symptoms. Psychological assessments may take the form of questionnaires or talk sessions with a mental health professional to assess the patient’s mood, mental state, and mental health history. Professionals usually ask family members or caregivers to participate in these assessments. 

Differential Diagnosis

Healthcare providers often perform a differential diagnosis to make sure they identify the correct condition and provide the appropriate treatment. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) outlines specific criteria to diagnose exhibitionistic disorder.

Exhibitionistic disorder can be mistaken for other conditions that involve sexual dysfunction, such as voyeurism, frotteurism, or sexual sadism disorder. Voyeurism involves deriving sexual pleasure from observing unsuspecting individuals engage in sexual acts. Frotteurism involves sexual arousal from touching or rubbing against a non-consenting person. Sexual sadism disorder involves sexual arousal from inflicting pain or humiliation on others. 

Treatment of Exhibitionistic Disorder

Exhibitionistic disorder is a condition that can significantly affect a person’s life and relationships. Through various methods, including psychotherapy, medication, and support groups, mental health professionals can effectively help the individual. 

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is a common treatment for exhibitionistic disorder. It typically involves one-on-one sessions with a licensed therapist specialising in sexual disorders. Therapy aims to help individuals understand and manage their exhibitionistic behaviour. In therapy, the individual can explore the underlying psychological and emotional issues that may be contributing to their urges. 

Different types of psychotherapy are often used to treat exhibitionistic disorders. For example, cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that focuses on identifying and changing negative thought patterns. Through CBT, individuals with exhibitionistic disorder can learn to identify triggers that lead to their behaviour and develop strategies to manage them.

Another type of effective technique is psychodynamic therapy. This type of therapy explores the individual’s unconscious thoughts and feelings and how they may be related to their exhibitionistic behaviour. Psychologists can help individuals gain insight into their actions and develop strategies to manage them.

Hence, psychotherapy can be highly effective for treating exhibitionistic disorder. By exploring the root causes of the behaviour, individuals can develop coping strategies and tools to manage their impulses.

Medications

In some cases, medication may be prescribed as part of the treatment plan for exhibitionistic disorder. Doctors use medications such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) to help manage the symptoms of the condition. SSRIs can help regulate the individual’s mood and reduce the frequency and intensity of their urges.

It is important to note that medication alone is not typically sufficient to treat exhibitionistic disorder. Doctors and therapists use medicine in conjunction with psychotherapy to provide a comprehensive treatment plan.

Support Groups

Support groups can also be a valuable resource for individuals with exhibitionistic disorders. It provides a safe and supportive environment for people to share their experiences and receive encouragement.

In addition to traditional support groups, online support groups are also available. Online support groups provide a sense of community and connection for individuals who may not have access to in-person support groups.

In conclusion, exhibitionistic disorder can be a challenging condition to manage. However, with the right treatment plan, individuals can learn to manage their behaviour and lead fulfilling lives. Psychotherapy, medication, and support groups are all effective treatment options. 

Conclusion

In conclusion, it is essential to understand that the desire to engage in exhibitionism is entirely normal, and there is no shame in exploring your sexuality in a consensual and safe manner. Despite the stigma surrounding this topic, it is important to be aware that exhibitionistic disorder is an actual condition that requires attention and treatment.

However, it is equally important to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy behaviour when it comes to exhibitionism. Engaging in sexual acts without consent or in inappropriate settings can cause harm to others and lead to legal consequences.

At the same time, it is essential to remember that kinky sex, including exhibitionism, can be safe and healthy if practised with respect for boundaries and consent. As long as your interests do not interfere with your daily life or cause harm to others, there is no need for shame or guilt about your desires.

Ultimately, it is up to each individual to explore their sexual curiosities and desires in a safe, consensual, and respectful manner. But, again, seeking help from a mental health professional can benefit individuals struggling with an exhibitionistic disorder or other paraphilias.

Frequently Asked Questions

How to practise safe exhibitionism?

If you are interested in safely exploring exhibitionism, it might help to keep a few things in mind to ensure that you are practising it without harming yourself or others.

As we saw in the previous section, exhibitionism is a sexual preference in which an individual seeks to expose themselves sexually to others. Many forms of healthy exhibitionism can be practised consensually, even though it is often associated with harmful behaviours.

First and foremost, obtaining consent from all parties involved is crucial. Whether you are engaging in exhibitionism with a partner or in a public setting, ensure that everyone involved is aware of the situation and has given explicit consent.

Secondly, it is important to be mindful of the space you are in. While the desire to engage in public sexual activity may be exciting, it can be a legal concern and potentially harmful to others. One way to practice exhibitionism in a safe and controlled environment is by visiting sex clubs or swingers’ clubs – where the people present are likely interested in and aware of public intimacy.

It is often easy to forget that exhibitionism is a personal preference. Not everyone will be comfortable with it. To enjoy the act, the two main elements to keep in mind are respecting other people’s boundaries and avoiding exposing others to sexual situations without their consent.

Overall, if interested, engage in exhibitionism safely, consensually and respectfully.

Safe exhibitionism involves engaging in consensual and non-harmful forms of exhibitionism.

Is exhibitionistic disorder unhealthy?

While some may see exhibitionism as a harmless or even exciting form of sexual expression, it can be unhealthy when it crosses boundaries, disrespects others’ autonomy and consent, and causes harm to oneself or others. 

When someone engages in exhibitionism without the consent of others or in public spaces where it is not appropriate, it violates boundaries and respect. It can also lead to legal consequences, such as being charged with indecent exposure or sexual harassment.

Additionally, excessively engaging in exhibitionism may indicate underlying psychological or emotional issues, such as low self-esteem or a need for attention, which can be harmful to one’s mental health and relationships.

Consent is a crucial factor in healthy sexual expression, and exhibitionism without the consent of all parties involved is a violation of this fundamental principle. Everyone should give consent freely and enthusiastically.

Sexual autonomy and respect are rights that everyone possesses, including the right not to have sexual acts or nudity imposed upon them without their consent. While exhibitionism may seem harmless to some, it can be a harmful and distressing experience for others.

In conclusion, exhibitionism can be unhealthy when it crosses boundaries, disrespects consent, and causes harm to oneself or others. 

What is an example of exhibitionism?

One example of exhibitionistic disorder involves a man who exposes himself to women in a park. This man may wait for women to pass by and then suddenly expose himself so that women can see him. The man may experience sexual arousal from the women’s reactions. This happens even if those reactions are negative, such as shock or disgust.

Another example of exhibitionistic disorder is when people expose themselves through a window in their home or apartment. This person may deliberately leave their curtains open so passers-by can see them. They may even take steps to attract attention, such as masturbating in front of the window.

It is important to note that while some individuals who engage in exhibitionistic behaviour may not have exhibitionistic disorder, those who do typically experience significant distress or impairment due to their condition. This may include social isolation, relationship problems, or legal issues if they are caught and charged with a crime.

Is sending nudes a form of exhibitionism?

In today’s digital age, sending and receiving nude images has become increasingly common, particularly among younger generations. However, the act of sending nudes raises a few questions, one of which is whether it can be considered a form of exhibitionism.

The answer might not be a straightforward yes or no answer. It often depends on the circumstances and the intention behind the act. However, it is worth noting that exhibitionistic disorder is not just limited to physical exposure but also involves showing intimate body parts.

For example, if someone is sending unsolicited nude pictures of themselves, then it can be classified as exhibitionistic behaviour. In contrast, if someone is sending nude photos to their romantic partner or consenting adult, it may not be considered exhibitionism.

It is essential to distinguish between exhibitionistic disorder and other social or psychological factors that may contribute to sending nudes. Sometimes, people send nudes because they feel pressured or coerced by their partner. Or they feel it is necessary to keep their partner’s interest.

 In other cases, they may genuinely desire to begin a romantic relationship. This leads to a “distortion of the normal courtship process,” as some researchers have called it. These motives may not necessarily stem from exhibitionistic disorder.

What to do when confronted with unsolicited exposure?

Exhibitionism, or exposing oneself in public, can be a disturbing and distressing experience for those who witness it. For example, it can be particularly unsettling when a man flashes at you, especially if you feel violated. But what do you do if someone confronts you with unsolicited exposure? 

Firstly, flashing is illegal in most countries, and you have the right to call the police if you need help. While providing a detailed description of the offender may be difficult, any little information may help authorities catch the person.

If you decide to report the incident, it is important to take care of yourself. Talking about the experience with a therapist can help you process the trauma and cope with any long-term psychological distress. Many women who have experienced indecent exposure report feeling traumatised. Hence, it is important to seek professional help if you are struggling to cope with the experience.

Remembering that the fault lies with the individual who exposed themselves without your consent, not with you, is also important. It is easy to blame yourself after witnessing such an act, but you did nothing wrong. The perpetrator is the one at fault.

Can I practise exhibitionism consensually?

Many people wonder if they can consensually practise exhibitionism without it being considered a disorder. The answer is yes. People can have a sexual interest in exhibitionism and engage in it consensually without being diagnosed with the disorder.

Consensual exhibitionism involves individuals who willingly participate and are aware of the act, creating a safe and non-threatening environment for all involved. It can take many forms, such as sharing nude photos, engaging in sexual acts in front of others, or participating in public sex acts.

It is important to note that the distinction between consensual exhibitionism and exhibitionistic disorder lies in the lack of consent from the audience. Exhibitionistic disorder involves non-consensual exposure, which can cause distress or harm to the viewer.

On the other hand, consensual exhibitionism can be a healthy and satisfying part of a relationship for some individuals. It can enhance intimacy, trust, and communication between partners. However, one should always obtain consent before engaging in any form of sexual activity, including consensual exhibitionism.

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How to Be Happy Again? Rediscovering Joy and Happiness

Posted on by rootal
  • 16 March 2023

We all aspire to achieve happiness, yet it can be so elusive at times. For some of us, happiness is a fleeting feeling that comes and goes with the ups and downs of life. For others, it is a state of mind that’s often present, regardless of the circumstances. So, what exactly is happiness? Is it a state of being that we can attain, or is it something more abstract and subjective? How to be happy again? 

Given the importance of happiness, it is not surprising that so many people are searching for ways to be happier. But why do so many people struggle to find happiness, even when they seem to have everything going for them? Is there something that’s holding us back from experiencing the joy and contentment that we all crave?

In this article, we will explore these questions and more. We will begin by taking a closer look at what happiness really means and whether it is normal to feel unhappy occasionally. From there, we will move on to some practical tips and strategies for rediscovering joy and happiness in your life.

Whether you are recovering from a difficult period or simply looking to make some positive changes, this article will provide you with the guidance and inspiration you need to start living your life to the fullest. So, let’s get started!

This Article Contains:

What Is “Happy”?

According to many experts, happiness is a complex emotion influenced by various factors, including genetics, upbringing, personality, and life experiences.

Despite the complexity of happiness, we know some things for sure. For example, feeling happy is important for our overall wellbeing. Studies have shown that people with higher happiness levels are generally healthier, more resilient, and more successful personally and professionally.

Happiness is a positive state of mind that involves feeling content, satisfied, and fulfilled. It is the experience of joy and satisfaction that comes from achieving your goals, having positive relationships, and living a meaningful and purposeful life.

How to Feel Happy? Figuring Out What Makes You Happy

If you are asking yourself “how to be happy again?”, it might help to take some time to figure out what makes you happy and what makes you unhappy.

Start by asking yourself some important questions, such as:

  • What activities do I enjoy doing?

  • What motivates and inspires me?

  • What are my values and priorities?

  • What are my goals and aspirations?

  • What relationships are important to me?

Answering these questions can help you gain insight into what brings you joy and fulfillment and what may be causing you to feel unhappy or unfulfilled.

Is Feeling Unhappy Normal?

Feeling unhappy or down from time to time is a normal facet of the human experience. Life is full of surprises, and it is natural to experience a range of emotions. However, if you are consistently feeling unhappy or unfulfilled, it may be a sign that your life might need some changes.

One way to start making positive changes is to reflect on what makes you happy. It could be spending time with loved ones, pursuing a hobby, or working towards a long-term goal. Once you have identified what brings you joy, try to make time for these things in your life.

Above all, it is important to recognise that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness. If you are struggling to find happiness on your own, consider reaching out to a therapist or professional counsellor for support. They can help you work through any underlying issues and develop a plan as you strive towards your goals.

It is never too late to rediscover happiness. By taking small steps towards a positive change, you can experience the joy of living a happy life.

How To Be Happy Again? 5 Keys to a Happier Life

There are many avenues to explore when it comes to finding new happiness. Here are some suggestions to help you explore your own definition of happiness:

Reconnecting With Your Passion

One key to finding happiness in your life again is by reconnecting with your passion. It is easy to get lost in the day-to-day grind and lose sight of what truly brings you joy. Therefore, exploring your interests and hobbies and setting time aside to do something you want to do can reignite that spark in you. This might mean trying new things, rediscovering old hobbies, or pursuing a new career.

If you are unsure of where or how to start, you may want to kick things off by envisioning achieveable and specific goals. For instance, if you are keen to take up baking, you can start by following a simple recipe and mastering the basics first. These can help you stay motivated and focused, even when things get tough.

To avoid putting things off, you may also want to plan and track your weekly or monthly schedule in advance. This allows you to dedicate a bit of time routinely to engage in an activity you take pleasure in.  

Remember that happiness is a journey, and it is up to you to decide what works for you.

Engaging in hobbies you love can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life.

Tweaking Your Lifestyle

Another way to make yourself happier is by tweaking your lifestyle. This can look like changing up your diet or starting an exercise routine to improve your physical and mental health.

A balanced diet is essential for your overall health and happiness. Research says that what you put into your body affects how it responds, so eating a balanced and healthy diet is crucial. Fried foods, high-sodium meals, and sugary snacks can all negatively impact your mood and physical health, leading to issues like hypertension, diabetes, and high cholesterol. Of course, you don’t have to stay away from them altogether. Instead, try being more mindful of your dietary habits and eat in moderation. 

Exercise has numerous benefits, from improving cardiovascular health to releasing endorphins that boost your mood. Even just 30 minutes of movement can significantly affect how you feel!

Studies have shown that exercise can be an effective way to combat depression and improve your overall mood. In fact, a research paper by the University of Toronto found that physical activity can help keep depression at bay. In a similar study, researchers assigned three groups of depressed people to either antidepressants, physical activity, or a combination of the two. The exercise-only group had the lowest relapse rate at just 9 percent six months later.

If you are struggling to find time to exercise, try starting with small changes like taking a walk during your lunch break or trying a new workout routine. The key is to find activities that you enjoy and that are also compatible with your lifestyle. Making healthier choices in your diet and exercise routine can go a long way toward improving your overall happiness and wellbeing.

Your Experiences Are Your Most Valuable Possessions

Your experiences are your most valuable possessions. They are unique to you, bringing you longer-lasting delight than material possessions ever could. For example, while buying new things might bring initial joy, this feeling may be momentous, particularly after newer or trendier products hit the shelves. On the other hand, lived experiences like travelling to new places, trying new hobbies, and making memories with loved ones can bring happiness that lasts far beyond the moment.

Psychologist Thomas Gilovich has extensively researched on the value of special memories and enjoyable experiences. According to his study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, we get a great sense of happiness from our experiences because they become a part of our personal narrative and sense of identity. They also connect us with others and create memories that we can look back on with fondness.

Choosing the company you keep is also essential in finding happiness. It is important to surround yourself with individuals who support and uplift you, and whose values are aligned with those of your own. 

Caring for pets and plants has also shown evidence of positively impacting moods. So, if you are feeling down, spending time with a furry friend or tending to your indoor garden could be just the boost you need. Nonetheless, do keep in mind that ultimately, happiness means different things to different people. While the tips mentioned above can serve as a starting point, it is up to you to find what truly makes you happy.

Starting A Gratitude Journal

Keeping a gratitude journal is one simple yet effective way to increase happiness. It is no secret that our brains tend to focus on negative things. However, by consciously directing our attention towards positive things, we can learn how to be happy again. Practising gratitude has numerous benefits, including reducing stress and improving relationships.

To start with a gratitude journal, try mentally reciting three things you are thankful for as soon as you wake up. You can also keep a physical list nearby to remind yourself periodically throughout the day. 

For example, in your daily log, you can write something like this:

  • I’m thankful for the roof above my head;

  • I’m grateful to be surrounded by people who love me; and

  • I’m grateful the climate is pleasant today.

Another way to practise gratitude is by thanking someone for their help or kindness. This can be as simple as a saying a words of thanks or buying them a cup of coffee. Additionally, volunteering a few hours each week is a great way to give back and feel good about yourself.

If you are skeptical about the benefits of gratitude, there is scientific proof to back it up. Numerous studies have shown that practising gratitude can improve overall wellbeing, increase happiness, and even have physical health benefits.

So, start your day on the right foot by maintaining a gratitude journal. It is a simple yet powerful way to shift your focus towards positivity and happiness.

Your Actions Create Your Happiness

Getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives is often inevitable, but it is important to remember that our actions play a huge role in creating our happiness. We can improve our mood and overall wellbeing by taking simple steps on a daily basis.

One of the easiest ways to be happy again is by spending time outdoors. Even if it is just a quick walk outside, it can help you connect with nature and release endorphins – the body’s natural “happy pills.” So, instead of rushing through your day, try to take a few moments to appreciate the world around us.

Another simple way to increase happiness is by smiling, even at strangers. Studies show that smiling can release brain chemicals that promote positive feelings. And don’t worry if it is not a genuine smile; the act alone can still trigger a positive response.

Engaging in altruistic actions, such as volunteering or helping others, can also significantly impact happiness. These actions activate the parts of the brain that make you feel needed and fulfilled, boosting your mood significantly.

Finally, let’s not forget about the power of self-care activities singing, humming, or even skipping. These activities may seem silly, but they can improve your mood because they are typically associated with happy and carefree times. So, don’t be afraid to let loose and have a little fun!

Frequently Asked Questions

How to be happy again in a relationship?

Relationships can be a source of joy and happiness, but they can also be a source of pain and frustration. If you are feeling unhappy in your relationship, it is important to take steps to address the issues and work towards a happier future. These are a few tips on how to be happy again in a relationship:

Communicate openly and honestly

Communication is necessary for any relationship but is especially important when working through issues. Try to be open and honest with your partner about how you are feeling and what you need from them. Listen to their perspective as well and try to work together to find solutions that work for both of you.

Give credit to your partner’s strengths

It is easy to overthink the negative aspects of a relationship but try to focus on the positive things instead. Think about what you love about your partner and what drew you to them in the first place. Try to appreciate them and show them gratitude.

Make time for each other

Sometimes, the busyness of life can get in the way of spending quality time together. It might help to prioritise your relationship and set aside time to do things you enjoy together. This can help rekindle feelings of love and connection.

Work on yourself

Sometimes, the key to happiness in a relationship starts with working on yourself. Focus on your personal growth and development, and try to become the most authentic version of yourself. This can help you feel more confident, fulfilled, and happy, which can, in turn, improve your relationship.

Remember, every relationship is different; what works for one couple may not work for another. The key is to be open, honest, and willing to work on your relationship to create a happier future together.

Self-love and therapy can be powerful tools for increasing happiness, as they promote self-awareness, personal growth, and emotional healing.

How to be happy again after a broken heart? 

Breaking up with a partner can be one of the most painful experiences in life. It might feel like the end of the world, and it is hard to imagine ever feeling happy again. However, the great news is that you can be happy again after a broken heart. Of course, it will take time and effort, but it is definitely possible. These are a few tips on how to be happy again:

Allow yourself to grieve

It is important to allow yourself to feel the pain and sadness of the breakup. Don’t bottle up your emotions or pretend that everything is okay. Cry if you need to, talk to a friend, or seek professional help if necessary. It is okay to take some time to grieve and process your emotions.

Practise self-care

Taking good care of yourself is crucial after a breakup. Take time to do things that make you happy, whether reading a book, taking a long bath, or going for a walk. Exercise and eat healthy foods to boost your mood and energy levels. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion.

Stay connected with friends and family

Surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Lean on your friends and loved ones for emotional support. Spend quality time with people who make you happy and lift you up. It is okay to seek help and support when you need it.

Rediscover your passion

Take some time to rediscover your passions and interests. Do things that bring you joy and fulfilment. Whether painting, playing music, or hiking, find something that makes you happy and pursue it.

Practise gratitude

Try to focus on the good things in your life and practise gratitude. Take time each day to write down things you are grateful for. Gratitude helps to shift your focus from what you have lost to what you still have.

Healing takes time. Be patient with yourself and trust that you will find happiness again. With time and effort, you will emerge from this experience stronger and happier than ever before.

How do I love myself? 

Loving yourself can be the first step to being happy. When you love yourself, you are kinder to yourself, accept yourself for who you are, and treat yourself with the respect you deserve.

One way to love yourself is to practise self-care. Take care of yourself physically and emotionally. This can mean getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, exercising, and taking time to do things you enjoy.

Another way to love yourself is by practising self-compassion. Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes or experience setbacks. Remember that everyone makes mistakes, and it is okay to be imperfect. Being true to yourself is also important in fostering self-acceptance – embrace your unique qualities and celebrate what makes you special.

It is also necessary to surround yourself with positive people. Spend time with those who support and uplift you. Avoid people who bring you down and make you feel bad about yourself. Finally, forgive yourself. Let go of past mistakes and regrets. Learn from them, but don’t dwell on them. Instead, try to move forward with a positive attitude and a commitment to do better in the future.

Loving yourself is a process; getting there takes time and effort. But with patience and practice, you can learn to love yourself for who you are, which can lead to a happier life!

Is it okay not to be happy?

It is normal to feel unhappy, sad, or angry occasionally. After all, life throws us curveballs and things may not always go the way we want them to. Acknowledging these feelings and reflecting on what gave rise to them can help us better understand ourselves – our thoughts, actions, and triggers.

However, if such feelings persist and impact your daily life, seeking professional help can be beneficial. It can help you identify the root cause of your unhappiness and provide you with tools and techniques to work through it.

Is it possible for me to be happy again?

Do you feel like you will never be happy again? If so, you are not alone. Sometimes life can feel like a never-ending cycle of disappointment and sadness, leaving you to wonder if happiness is even possible. However, the good news is that it is certainly possible to be happy again. It might take some effort and time, but it is attainable.

One study found that engaging in meaningful activities that bring both pleasure and engagement can promote wellbeing outcomes. This means you need to find things you enjoy doing that keeps you occupied. It could pursuing a hobby or turning a pet project into a career.

It is important to remember that happiness isn’t just about pleasure; it is also about engagement. So, find something that you are passionate about or find meaning in, and you will find that joy will follow. 

Life is unpredictable and we all have bad days. But even on those days, try to find something positive to appreciate. It is possible to find happiness again. So don’t give up on yourself, and step by step, you will soon create and lead the happy life you envisioned!

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What is Wrong With Me? Why You May Feel This Way & 10 Ways to Feel Better

Posted on by rootal
  • 24 February 2023

Think about how you treat a friend when they are struggling. Odds are, you do your best to be kind, patient, and understanding with them. You don’t shame them for feeling the way they do; tell them they have nothing to be sad about or minimise their pain. Yet, when it comes to being kind, patient, and compassionate with ourselves, we often lack the skills to do so.

If you are reading this article, you probably thought: “What is wrong with me?” Unfortunately, that question often means that you are a person who is having a hard time right now. And just like a friend in pain, you deserve kindness, patience, and understanding too.

It is common to think that we should be able to handle our problems on our own or that we should be able to “get over” complicated feelings quickly. However, mental health professionals know that it can be challenging. Even if it does not feel like it sometimes, you are strong. And asking for help is one of the strongest things you can do. It takes much courage to ask for help, and you should be proud of yourself for taking that step.

Let’s get into some concrete steps you can take when you feel like something is wrong. These steps may not all work for you, but consider trying a few and see what helps you feel better.

This Article Contains:

Why You May Feel Like Something Is Wrong With You

It is not uncommon to think thoughts like: “what is wrong with me?” or “how to find out what is wrong with me.” As a result, you may struggle to complete even the simplest of tasks, feel like you are not making progress in life, or generally feel down and out. Although these feelings can be frustrating, confusing, and even scary, knowing you are not alone is essential. In fact, there are several reasons why you may be feeling this way.

Feeling Overwhelmed

Overwhelmed is a feeling you get when you feel you have too much on your plate and do not know how to deal with it. You feel as if you are being crushed, and your thoughts are rushing at a speed you cannot understand. Moreover, you might feel dizzy, feel your body go numb, or feel your heart pounding out of your chest. You feel like something is wrong with you.

One of the most common reasons why people feel like something is wrong with them is because they are overwhelmed. Life can be busy and stressful, and it’s easy to feel like you are being pulled in multiple directions. Feeling overwhelmed can be a constant battle, whether it’s because of work, family, or other responsibilities.

Feeling Stuck

Another reason why you may feel like something is wrong with you is if you are feeling stuck. For example, perhaps you feel like you are not progressing in your career or are stuck in a relationship that doesn’t bring you joy. Feeling stuck can be a frustrating experience, and it is essential to take steps to identify what’s holding you back. For example, do you feel the way you do because you miss your ex? Or maybe you are dealing with peer pressure?

If you have a clear vision of your ideal life and believe you are not living up to it, you may begin to think something is amiss. People often find themselves on a constant trail of thoughts when they feel stuck. They may think, “what is wrong with me,” “why am I single” or even “what is wrong with me mentally”. These thoughts can be terrifying, but we will soon see how you can cope with them.

Dealing with Setbacks

Sometimes it can feel like nothing seems to work out for you no matter what you do. Maybe you’ve been applying for jobs but can’t seem to get hired, or you’ve been trying to meet someone special but keep getting ghosted.

Setbacks and failures are a natural part of life and do not mean something is wrong with you. Sometimes, it feels like life is not going our way, which can be frustrating. We might try everything we can to change things, but it does not work. This can make us feel like something is wrong with us. Nonetheless, the reality is that some things are simply beyond our control, no matter how hard we try.

When facing a challenging situation, start by thinking about what you can control. It’s important to accept that some things are not in our hands, which is okay.

Mental Health Issues

Feeling like something is wrong with you can be a sign of a deeper issue, such as a mental health condition. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues can cause a wide range of symptoms, from feelings of sadness and hopelessness to physical symptoms like fatigue and headaches.

If you are experiencing persistent symptoms, seeking support from a professional psychologist who can help you identify what’s happening and develop a treatment plan is essential.

Experiencing Physical Illness

Lastly, it is important to remember that physical illness can also contribute to feelings of not being quite right. You may be experiencing physical illness if your thoughts are like: “what is wrong with me physically?” or “what is wrong with me?”

Chronic pain, fatigue, and other symptoms can majorly impact your mood and overall well-being. Therefore, if you think these physical symptoms are affecting your daily life, you should seek medical attention to identify the underlying cause of your issues.

How to Cope: 10 Ways to Feel Better

1. Relaxation Techniques

Asking yourself “what is wrong with me?” is not uncommon. When you are in this state of mind, the best thing to do is to find ways to calm down and relax. Developing a list of “calm down activities” can be an effective way to cope with these emotions.

Here are some ideas that you can add to your list of calm-down activities:

  • Deep breathing exercises: Slowly inhaling and exhaling can help regulate your heartbeat and reduce feelings of anxiety.

  • Meditation: Sitting in a quiet, peaceful place and focusing your thoughts can help clear your mind and bring a sense of calm.

  • Yoga: Practising yoga can help relieve stress and promote relaxation through a series of poses and breathing techniques.

  • Taking a walk: Going for a walk outside, especially in nature, can help clear your mind and reduce feelings of anxiety.

  • Listening to music: Calming music can help soothe your nerves and improve your mood.

  • Taking a warm bath: A warm bath can help relax your muscles and soothe your mind.

  • Writing in a journal: Writing down your thoughts and emotions can help you work through them and gain a new perspective.

  • Practising self-care: Doing things that make you feel good, such as taking a bubble bath, watching a movie, or treating yourself to your favourite snack, can be a great way to boost your mood and feel better.

By incorporating these activities into your daily routine, you can develop a sense of calm and balance, even when you feel like something is wrong with you.

If thoughts such as "what is wrong with me" consistently plague you, you may want to use some relaxation techniques to destress.

2. Create an Action Plan

When feelings like “what is wrong with me?” start to take over, creating an action plan can help cope with them. This involves identifying specific problems and outlining steps that you can take to address them. You may have read about various coping strategies, such as grounding or making a gratitude list. While these tips are beneficial, you may struggle to carry them out.

After all, they require you to identify your needs at the moment and to find the motivation to act on them. Creating an action plan could be an effective way to cope with mental health problems. This is because an action plan involves you to:

  • be clear about your current state and the potential problem;

  • create a realistic plan of action to tackle the problem; and

  • follow through with the plan.

To create an action plan, consider the following steps:

  1. Seek help from a professional psychotherapist.

  2. Identify areas of your life that need improvement. These include finding a better job, improving relationships, or developing new hobbies.

  3. Set realistic goals and break them down into actionable steps.

  4. Read self-help books or online resources relevant to your goals.

  5. Find an accountability partner to help keep you motivated and on track.

By taking these steps, you can create a clear plan of action that will help you to move forward and overcome negative thoughts and emotions.

3. Observe Your Body

Do you often think, “what is wrong with me physically?” This may indicate that you might be suffering from a physical illness.

It can be helpful to observe your body to avoid a negative spiral. When you are more aware of the feelings and sensations your body experiences, you will be better able to take action to improve your mood and outlook. 

Here are some things you can do to address specific feelings:

  • Brain fog: Make a to-do list or plan of action to get everything out of your head and onto paper.

  • Feelings of tiredness: Establish a consistent sleep schedule and ensure you are getting enough sleep.

  • Inability to sit still: Exercise or try going for a walk.

  • Pain: Identify the issue and seek appropriate solutions. For example, if you have back pain, you could consult a physical therapist to help identify the root cause of the pain and develop a treatment plan. The physical therapist may recommend specific exercises, stretches, or other treatments to alleviate the pain and prevent it from recurring.

4. Nothing Works Out for Me

We all have thoughts, all the time, about everything. Some thoughts are about other people, and some are about ourselves. We might think of nice things and not-so-nice things. Ideas are like the bubbles in a fizzy drink – we have them all the time, and are part of life. It is normal!

Being aware of our thoughts gives us the option to decide whether to act on them. For instance, if we realise that we are thinking negatively about our friend, such as “my friend doesn’t like me,” we can choose to dwell on it and feel upset, or we can attempt to disprove the thought and disregard it.

Your thoughts are not a reflection of your identity. They may appear in your mind even when you are not consciously thinking about them; some can even be harmful. Therefore, acting on negative thoughts can lead to negative consequences. The aim is to distinguish your thoughts from your behaviours.

5. Practise Self-Care

Self-care involves caring for your physical, mental, and emotional needs, and there are many ways to practise it. 

For example, practising self-care can help you eliminate thoughts like, “what is wrong with me?”

  • Practise mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you focus on the present moment and become aware of your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Try meditating, doing yoga, or simply taking a few deep breaths.

  • Get enough sleep: Sleep is essential for your mental health, and getting enough sleep can improve your mood and help you feel more energised. So, try to establish a regular sleep schedule and create a relaxing bedtime routine.

  • Eat a healthy diet: Focus on eating nutrient-dense foods and avoid processed or sugary foods that can cause mood swings.

  • Exercise regularly: Exercise releases endorphins that can improve your mood and reduce stress.

  • Connect with others: Spending time with people who support and care about you can help you feel more connected and reduce feelings of isolation. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group to help you feel more connected.

6. Anxiety Coping Mechanisms

Anxiety can be a challenging emotion to cope with, but some coping mechanisms can be helpful. 

Here are a few ways to manage anxiety when you feel like something is wrong with you:

  • Deep breathing: Take a deep breath in for a count of four, hold it for a count of four, and then slowly release it for a count of four. Repeat this exercise several times to calm yourself.

  • Positive self-talk: Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with positive statements. For example, instead of saying, “I’m not good enough,” say, “I am capable and strong.”

  • Avoiding triggers: Identify what triggers your anxiety and avoid them when possible. For example, if you feel anxious in crowds, try to avoid crowded places.

7. Depression Coping Mechanisms

Depression can be challenging to manage, and it can be difficult to know what to do when you are feeling down. However, it’s important to remember that depression is a treatable condition, and many coping mechanisms can help you manage your symptoms.

One crucial coping mechanism for depression is to engage in regular physical activity. Exercise has been shown to release endorphins, which can help to elevate mood and reduce feelings of depression. Even a short walk or a few minutes of stretching can be beneficial.

Talking to an international or Singaporean psychologist at TYHO can also be an effective way to cope with depression. A therapist can help you identify the underlying causes of your depression and provide you with tools and strategies to manage your symptoms.

Self-care is not always about grand gestures. Sometimes it is about those little things you can do to make yourself feel good anytime, anywhere.

8. Get an Outside Perspective

When your thoughts sound like “what is wrong with me?” or “why do I get irritated and angry so easily?” it can be helpful to seek an outside perspective. Occasionally, we can get so caught up in our thoughts and feelings that it’s difficult to see things clearly. A mental health professional, such as a therapist, can help you gain a better understanding of what’s going on inside you and help you develop strategies to cope with these feelings.

A therapist can provide an objective perspective and help you recognise behaviours that may not serve you best (eg maladaptive behaviours). They can help you identify which behaviours are productive, helpful, and serving you in your life and which ones are not. This can be especially helpful when you feel like you cannot cope with your thoughts and feelings alone.

Therapy can also help you embrace your difficult thoughts and emotions. After all, being surrounded by people who are different can make us feel like we are abnormal or that something is wrong with us. But a therapist can help you appreciate your differences and the differences in others, which can be empowering.

9. Change One Thing About Yourself

If you feel like something is wrong with you, it might be time to make a change. From time to time, the thought of changing everything about ourselves can be overwhelming, but focusing on changing just one thing can have a significant impact. Take time to reflect on your behaviours and identify one thing you want to change. This could be something like being kinder to others, improving your mental health, or developing a healthier habit.

Once you have identified the behaviour you want to change, make a deliberate effort to improve it. For example, if you want to be kinder to others, you could start by doing small acts of kindness to people you meet daily. If you want to improve your mental health, you could start by seeking help from a psychotherapist or finding healthy ways to release negative emotions, such as through exercise or journaling.

The key is to make small, achievable changes that will positively impact your life. By changing one thing about yourself, you may find that other areas of your life also start to improve. Remember, change is a process that takes time and effort, but with commitment and patience, you can make positive changes and move towards a happier, healthier you!

10. Spend Time With Your Loves Ones

Spending time with the people you love can be an incredibly powerful tool in helping to combat feelings of insecurity and self-doubt. Connecting with your loved ones can provide comfort, safety, and security, making it easier to cope with difficult emotions. In addition, it is a great way to gain support and understanding from those closest to you and allows you to focus on something other than your worries and anxieties.

Spending time with loved ones can help remind us that we are not alone in our struggles and that there are people out there who care about us deeply. But, of course, not every person you spend time with is a good fit. Spending time with people who cannot validate your feelings or help to provide support can actually be harmful. If they invalidate or belittle your emotions, it may be best to avoid them until you feel more prepared and able to cope with their lack of support.

If you can’t talk to your friends, loved ones, or even those who work in stores and restaurants, find a community that speaks to your spirituality. There are many online communities for people looking for emotional or psychological support. You might also want to consider talking with a therapist about how you can begin reconnecting with other people again.

Conclusion

So, the main question is: What is wrong with me? Unfortunately, imperfections exist in every human being in this world. People sometimes strive to do their best but still come up short. Other times, difficult situations can lead them astray. However, when we question what is wrong with us, it’s an opportunity to improve ourselves.

When you ask a challenging question like this, it shows that you are finally ready to make changes to create a better, wiser, and more resilient version of yourself.

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How to Stop Masturbating Excessively

Posted on by rootal
  • 23 February 2023

Welcome to the beautiful world of self-exploration! Masturbation is a topic that’s been around for centuries but still seems to have a bit of stigma attached to it. But let’s be real – it is a natural and normal part of our sexual health and wellbeing. If you have ever asked yourself questions like, “how to stop masturbating?” or “is masturbation harmful?” or “how to stop a masturbating addiction?” then this article is for you.

We will be diving into all things masturbation. From the causes, myths, and negative effects of masturbation to how to overcome an addiction to it, you will find all the information here. By the end of this article, you will have a better understanding of this often-misunderstood practice and, hopefully, have some of your questions answered.

This Article Contains:

What Is Masturbation?

Masturbation is a sexual activity that involves stimulating one’s own body, specifically the genitals, for pleasure and to release sexual tension. It may or may not always lead to an orgasm. An orgasm, also called “climaxing,” is a sexual build-up that can lead to people having an intense and enjoyable release of sexual pleasure. During this practice, the heartbeat increases, blood pressure rises and becomes heavier, and muscle contractions occur throughout the body.

Have you heard of this old masturbation joke? “80% of people do it, and the rest, 20%, are just lying about it.” Of course, this isn’t a real statistic, and sexual practices depend on individual preferences (for example, asexuality is a sexual orientation where people experience no or less sexual attraction). However, masturbation is normal and common, and people of all ages and genders masturbate.

There are many different types of masturbation, and what works best for one person may not work for another. Some common forms of masturbation include manual stimulation with the hands, using sex toys, and even non-penetrative stimulation like humping a pillow. Many people think that masturbation is a solo act, but that’s untrue. Regardless of the relationship status, people masturbate alone, with their consenting partner, or even with multiple partners.

It is important to remember that everyone has different preferences and boundaries when it comes to sexual activities, including masturbation. Some people prefer to masturbate only once a day, some do it multiple times, and some never engage in it – and all of it is totally okay! As long as the practice is safe and consensual, feel free to explore and find what works for you.

Benefits of Masturbation

Masturbation can be a fun and enjoyable activity that can benefit your overall health. Here are a few key advantages of self-pleasure:

  • Stress relief: Masturbating can relieve stress and tension and provide both physical and mental relaxation. It can help you calm down, release endorphins, and even improve your mood and avoid feeling emotional.

  • Improved sleep: Do you ever find yourself sleeping well after engaging in self-pleasure? As a matter of fact, the sexual release that comes from masturbation can help you fall asleep faster and sleep more soundly.

  • Pain relief: For some people, masturbation can provide relief from menstrual cramps, headaches, or other types of body pain. The release of endorphins can help eliminate or reduce discomfort and promote relaxation.

  • Increased sexual function: Masturbation makes it easier to achieve and maintain an erection, sexual mood, or to reach orgasm. This can also be especially helpful for people who struggle with erectile dysfunction.

  • Better understanding of your body: Masturbating can help you better understand your sexual preferences, needs, and what feels good for you. This can be incredibly helpful in improving your relationships with your partners and yourself.

Myths About Masturbation

Let’s debunk some of the myths about masturbation! They may be the reason why people hold negative perceptions of masturbation and want to know how to stop masturbating.

Myth 1: Masturbation causes physical harm, such as blindness or infertility. 

Truth: No scientific evidence supports the idea that masturbation causes physical harm. In fact, research has shown that regular sexual activity can have positive effects on our physical and mental health. For instance, they help reduce stress and improve sleep quality and duration. 

Myth 2: If you masturbate too much, you will run out of sperm.

Truth: The penis releases a white, sticky fluid during ejaculation, known as sperm. During sexual intercourse, the most potent sperm enters the fallopian tubes and into the egg – after which conception occurs. Therefore, a person will not run out of sperms, and ejaculation usually contains hundreds of millions of sperms.

Myth 3: Masturbation is a sign of sexual addiction.

Truth: Masturbation is not inherently problematic or addictive. However, like any sexual activity, it can become a concern if it interferes with an individual’s daily life or becomes a compulsive behaviour. It may be helpful to speak with a mental health professional if you want to know how to stop a masturbating addiction.

Negative Effects of Masturbation

Is masturbation harmful?

It is generally considered a safe and harmless activity. However, in some cases, individuals may experience temporary discomfort, such as skin chafing or tenderness. In addition, men who engage in frequent masturbation within a short period of time may experience a minor swelling of the penis – known as oedema. First, let us take a closer look at some other negative effects of masturbation.

Guilt

For some people, masturbation may be associated with feelings of guilt or shame, often due to cultural or religious beliefs. Masturbation is neither wrong nor immoral and entirely depends on a subjective perspective.

Nevertheless, speaking with someone you trust may be beneficial if these feelings persist for a long time. In addition, mental health professionals who have specialisation in sexual health may be an ideal resource to help you with overcoming feelings of shame associated with masturbation.

Addiction

Some people can develop an addiction to masturbation, also known as sex addiction. Even though the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) doesn’t recognise it as a disorder, it can still cause concerning side effects. Hence, clinicians can use the DSM-5 (as “other specified sexual dysfunction”) and the ICD-10 criteria to diagnose sex addiction.

If you find that masturbation is causing you to:

  • neglect daily tasks or activities;

  • miss work or school;

  • cancel plans with loved ones; and

  • miss important social events,

it may be a sign that you are engaging in excessive masturbation, which could harm your relationships or other aspects of your life. This overindulgence in self-pleasure can lead to decreased attention span and may even hurt your romantic and platonic connections. The next couple of sections delves into how to stop masturbating compulsively.

How to stop masturbating compulsively is a question many may have.

How to Stop a Masturbating Addiction? 

Masturbating can become an addiction for some people. If you notice that engaging in masturbation is negatively impacting your daily life, you may want to consider cutting back or quitting masturbation altogether.

In this section, we will take a closer look at what constitutes a healthy level of masturbation and explore the differences between male and female masturbation. Additionally, we will also address some common concerns, such as how to stop yourself from masturbating and whether female masturbation can cause hormonal imbalances.

What Is a Healthy Level of Masturbation?

When it comes to masturbation, there is no one-size-fits-all answer for what constitutes a healthy level. While you are free to come up with an individualised level, the International Society for Sexual Medicine notes that a “normal” frequency for masturbation does not exist. 

A 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour looked at the habits of over 15,000 men and women between the ages of 18 to 60. The results showed a difference in the way men and women view masturbation in relation to their sexual satisfaction. Women tended to pleasure themselves more when they were sexually happy and had sex frequently. On the other hand, men masturbated more when they were having less sex. 

This shows that how much someone masturbates is totally up to them. If you are feeling good about your masturbating habits and it is not negatively affecting your life in any way, then anything goes! It is also worth noting that everyone’s sexual needs are different. Some people might need more sexual release than others, which is totally okay!

Is There a Difference Between Male and Female Masturbation?

There are more similarities than differences between male and female masturbation. That is because physical activity might differ between individuals, but the underlying motivations and benefits can be pretty similar.

For example, people of all genders use masturbation as a way to relieve sexual tension, explore their bodies, or simply experience pleasure. However, some may prefer to use visual aids during practice, while others may be more likely to incorporate fantasy or sexual thoughts.

A lot of people think that only men masturbate. Undoubtedly, that is just not true! Contrary to popular belief, gender and sexual orientation can also impact one’s experience with masturbation. For example, people who identify as LGBTQ+ may have completely different experiences when it comes to masturbation or sexual activities. It can also serve as a potential tool for exploring one’s queerness.

Does Female Masturbation Cause Hormonal Imbalance?

Masturbation does affect the hormones, just not in any way one should fret about. The hormonal changes caused by masturbation are minimal. In fact, as we covered in the section above, it also has all sorts of benefits. Orgasming releases dopamine (pleasure chemical), oxytocin (bonding chemical), and serotonin.

Several studies also showed that sexual arousal could often lead to a change in prolactin levels. Prolactin is a hormone that stimulates the growth of the breasts and helps with milk production.

While we know for sure that masturbation does not cause hormonal imbalance, there has been little research into the long-term relationship between masturbation and hormone levels.

How to Stop Masturbating Forever and Permanently?

Struggling with a masturbation addiction can be tough, but it is not impossible to overcome. If you are looking for answers on how to stop masturbating, here are some tips that might help:

Reduce your intake of pornography

Many individuals turn to porn as a source of sexual stimulation, but this can be a slippery slope towards addiction. People who want to quit limit their exposure to porn and find other exciting ways to enjoy themselves.

Do something new

Sometimes, doing something new and exciting can help you break away from old habits. For example, it might help you to find a new hobby, take a class, or travel somewhere you’ve never been before. The idea is to replace the action of masturbation with something that’s equally (or even more!) stimulating.

Consult a professional

If you are having trouble quitting on your own, consider reaching out to a doctor or an international or professional Singaporean counsellor. Counsellors specialising in sexual health can help you understand the root of your addiction. They will also guide you in developing a plan to overcome it. 

Socialise

Spending time with others can help you feel more connected and fulfilled. It can also distract you from the urge to masturbate. Try to host or plan events and activities with friends, family, or your partner.

Exercise

Regular exercise is a proven method to boost mood, reduce stress, and increase self-esteem. All these added benefits can help you overcome your addiction to masturbation. The first step would be to find a physical activity you enjoy and eventually make it a part of your daily routine.

Remember, it takes time and effort to stop a masturbating addiction. Don’t be too hard on yourself; with the right support, you can overcome your difficulties and live a happier life!

How Long Does It Take to Stop Masturbating? 

The amount of time it takes to stop masturbation varies from person to person, depending on several factors, such as individual habits and lifestyle. Yet, it’s important to remember that giving up a long-standing practice can be overwhelming and may require patience and persistence.

For some people, reducing or stopping masturbation may happen relatively quickly, within a matter of days or weeks. For others, it may take months or even longer. During this process, you will find it the most helpful to be kind to yourself and recognise that progress matters more than perfection.

Takeaways

In conclusion, we hope that this article provides you with an insight into what masturbation is. If you’re struggling with a masturbation addiction, you are not alone, and help is always just one click or call away. Our Therapists at Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO) offer a supportive and non-judgement space where you can get all the help you need.

After all, masturbation is sexual exploration. By speaking with a therapist, you may even learn ideas and practices that may align with your needs!

Sex toys can enhance the experience of self-pleasure and masturbation, providing additional stimulation and opening up new avenues of exploration and pleasure.

Frequently Asked Questions 

Is masturbation safe? 

Yes, masturbation is safe and healthy for most people. Although there may be a cultural or religious stigma attached to it, it is often a safe and pleasurable way to explore one’s sexuality. Masturbation can have physical and emotional benefits, such as reducing stress and improving sleep. However, as with any activity, it is important to practise it in moderation. If you have any concerns about the safety of masturbation, it might help to start with individual therapy. On the other hand, couples therapy can help if you want to explore sexual pleasure with a partner.

Can you hurt yourself by masturbating too much?

It is highly unlikely to hurt yourself by masturbating too much as long as you’re not using any tools or objects that could cause physical harm. That being said, excessive masturbation can cause temporary soreness or chafing of the genital area, which usually goes away after a few days. Remember to practise good hygiene to prevent infection, especially when using your hands or sex toys during masturbation.

How to stop yourself from masturbating? 

Stopping yourself from masturbating can be challenging, but it is possible. One of the first steps to breaking the habit is acknowledging that you might have a problem and identifying your triggers. Then, try to replace your habit of masturbating with new activities like exercising, reading, or meditating.

Seek support from friends, family, or a professional therapist who can help you stay accountable and offer you guidance. Avoid pornography or other sexual triggers that might increase your urge to masturbate. Be patient and kind to yourself, and do not forget to celebrate small victories along the way!

Is masturbation ever good for a relationship?

Engaging in masturbation can positively affect a couple’s sex life when approached with honesty and respect. It can lead to a more profound sense of intimacy between partners and even help bridge the gap when couples have different desired levels of sexual frequency.

If one partner is not ready for sexual activity, masturbation can be a healthy alternative that can relieve the pressure and ensure both individuals feel comfortable and satisfied. Overall, masturbation can be a perfectly healthy and normal part of a relationship as long as both partners communicate and are open to the idea.

Should parents be concerned about their children masturbating? 

Many parents may feel concerned or worried about their children masturbating, but it’s necessary to understand that masturbation is a normal part of human sexuality. It is common for children to begin exploring their bodies and experiencing sexual feelings during puberty. Parents can have an open conversation with their children about sexual health and consent to ensure they have access to the correct information and resources.

What are some masturbating tips? 

If you’re new to masturbating, it can help to take things slow and experiment with different techniques to figure out what feels good for you. For example, some prefer direct clitoral stimulation, while others prefer penetration. Applying some lubricator to your hands or sex toys (depending on what you use) can also enhance the experience.

Some helpful things you can do include:

  • Washing your hands thoroughly before touching your genitals or body.

  • Using a quality lubricant, as it can lower friction and make things more comfortable.

  • Cleaning your sex toys before and after use. Bacteria can build up on these toys and can cause infection later on. To avoid that, read the instructions on the product to clean it the right way.

Try not to share your sex toys with multiple partners without cleaning or using a new condom every time. Unclean sex toys can pass along STDs and infections. Having an open conversation with your partners about maintaining your sex toy can be a helpful way to prevent any diseases.

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Maladaptive Behaviour – Causes, Examples, and Ways to Cope

Posted on by rootal
  • 15 February 2023

Maladaptive behaviours refer to actions or habits that cause harmful consequences in an individual’s daily life. These actions interfere with their ability to adapt and adjust to specific challenges and stressors. Identifying maladaptive behaviour is crucial as it can significantly impact one’s mental and emotional wellbeing.

It can manifest in various forms – addiction, eating disorder, and self-harm. However, early detection and understanding can also help prevent adverse outcomes and boost self-awareness and good health. In this article, we talk about maladaptive behaviour examples, delve deeper into the root causes, and discuss how to identify if you have maladaptive behaviour.

This Article Contains:

What is Maladaptive Behaviour?

Have you ever noticed how we sometimes react differently to challenges in life? When we respond positively to situations, it’s called adaptive behaviour. But when we react negatively, it’s called maladaptive behaviour. Adaptive behaviour is when we choose to find a solution or try to minimise a problem.

It could mean doing something you do not necessarily like or finding an alternative way to get the job done. It is all about adjusting to the situation and making the most of it. For example, a reader who is losing their eyesight could choose to learn Braille or switch to audiobooks so they can still enjoy their books.

On the other hand, maladaptive behaviour is when we ignore a problem or do not take any action to solve it. It is like avoiding the issue and letting it control us instead of us controlling it. For instance, the same reader who finds it difficult to acknowledge their vision loss or is unwilling to adopt might feel out of control and avoid taking any action. They end up missing out on their beloved books.

The Consequence of Maladaptive Coping

Ultimately, maladaptive behaviours prevent you from dealing with the root cause of your anxiety. We often tend to resort to dysfunctional coping mechanisms to deal with distressing emotions. While it might feel like these strategies are effective at the moment, the truth is that they only act as a temporary fix. Over time, they can actually make things worse and create complex problems.

So, what do you think? Are you an adaptive or maladaptive person? If you are the latter, how do you deal with maladaptive behaviour? To better understand the causes, let’s dive into this topic further!

The Causes of Maladaptive Behaviour

There are several underlying causes of maladaptive behaviour. It is important to note that while these factors may contribute to its development, they are not determining factors. Many individuals who experience these challenges do not engage in maladaptive behaviours.

The role of trauma

Trauma can play a significant role in the development of maladaptive behaviour. Trauma is a deeply distressing experience. It can occur through a single event, such as a car accident or natural disaster, or a series of events, such as childhood abuse or neglect. Survivors of a traumatic event may experience feelings of helplessness, anxiety, and depression, which can lead to the development of harmful coping mechanisms. They may use avoidance, self-blame, or substance abuse to manage the distress that comes with the trauma.

Unfortunately, some of these coping strategies can develop into maladaptive behaviours that continue long after the traumatic event is over. For example, someone with sexual trauma may turn to self-harm to suppress their feelings of shame, guilt, or negative thoughts.

Research shows that childhood sexual abuse is associated with self-harm, substance abuse, and unsafe sexual habits. It is also linked to psychopathology, especially major depressive disorder (MDD), and high-risk behaviours. Additionally, the severity and frequency of the traumatic event can also influence the development of maladaptive behaviour.

Mental health disorders 

Conditions such as anxiety, personality disorders, depression, and developmental disorders can lead to maladaptive behaviours. These disorders can alter how a person perceives and reacts to stressful situations. This pattern pushes them to adopt a coping mechanism that may become harmful over time. Anxiety disorders, for example, can cause excessive worry, fear, and nervousness, which can lead to behaviours such as avoidance or addiction.

Personality disorders can also contribute to maladaptive behaviours by triggering distorted thinking patterns, difficulty maintaining relationships, and impulsiveness. People with avoidant personality disorder (AVPD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD) often display maladaptive behaviours.

People with AVPD tend to have an intense fear of rejection and criticism, which leads them to avoid nurturing close relationships and social situations. This avoidance can manifest as maladaptive behaviours, such as isolating oneself from friends and family or avoiding events that might put them in the spotlight.

Similarly, people with BPD tend to struggle with regulating their emotions and maintaining stable relationships. This leads them to engage in impulsive and erratic behaviours. Some of these habits include self-harm, binge eating, binge drinking, becoming involved in unhealthy relationships, and participating in risky behaviours. Both AVPD and BPD can cause significant distress and interfere with daily functioning. People with these mental health conditions often require professional help to manage their symptoms. For instance, TYHO psychologists in Singapore can help those struggling with the above mentioned conditions. 

Environmental factors

Environmental factors play a great role in the development of maladaptive behaviours. These factors include the setting in which a person grew up, family dynamics, relationships, and cultural influences. Mainly, toxic environments where neglect or abuse exists, or poverty can increase harmful coping mechanisms. Let’s take a closer look at these factors separately.

Family dynamics can impact an individual’s development and trigger them to indulge in destructive behaviours. For example, family members who engage in harmful behaviours like substance abuse or domestic violence may directly influence the child to learn their ways of coping with difficult situations. Furthermore, the lack of family support, overprotection, and unrealistic expectations can lead to feelings of stress and low self-esteem.

Relationships with others also play a role in leading to maladaptive behaviours. Toxic or abusive relationships and lack of social support can lead to psychological distress and feelings of unworthiness. Similarly, cultural expectations and societal stigma around mental health can lead individuals to internalise their symptoms. This further exacerbates maladaptive behaviours.

Besides, daily stressors like financial difficulties, job loss, and relationship issues can cause chronic stress. This stress shows up in the form of running away from responsibilities, avoiding social interactions, and filtering all the positives from life. These environmental factors can interact with one another or with other elements like genetics or neurological conditions.

Any alternations to one’s brain functioning may give rise to the development of maladaptive behaviours.

Neurological factors 

The brain’s functioning can affect our emotions, thoughts, and actions. In fact, any alterations in the brain can cause difficulties in adapting to situations and challenges. Research suggests that these neurological differences may also play a role in developing maladaptive behaviour. In particular, brain chemistry is a crucial factor that gives rise to such engagement.

The levels of neurotransmitters can impact various aspects of the human mind. Some of these chemicals include serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. Imbalances of these chemicals in the brain can lead to difficulties regulating emotions, drastic mood swings, erratic behaviours, and issues with controlling impulses.

Research shows that some regions of the brain, such as the prefrontal cortex, are involved in regulating emotions, impulse controls, and decision-making. Suppose an issue arises with the brain’s development, structure, or functioning, it can increase the risk of developing maladaptive behaviour.

In some cases, traumatic brain injury can result in changes in brain chemistry and structure, thereby impacting mood and behaviour. For example, individuals with brain injury may exhibit impulsive behaviour, face difficulties with identifying and regulating emotions, and have an impaired sense of judgement.

Genetics

Research has also found a hereditary component to some types of maladaptive behaviours. Genetics can contribute to an individual’s vulnerability to specific mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, and personality disorders.

Studies have identified specific genes linked to the development of mental health conditions and maladaptive behaviours. For instance, research shows that the serotonin transporter gene plays a role in developing anxiety and depression. Impulsivity and risk-taking behaviours are habits that occur due to other genes.

In addition to specific genes, family history also plays a significant role. Children who have a parent with a history of maladaptive behaviours are at a higher risk of developing similar patterns of behaviour. This may be due to a complex combination of genetic and environmental factors. Ultimately, a complex interplay of various factors shapes an individual’s behaviour.

Maladaptive Behaviour Examples

Self-harm

Also known as self-injury, self-harm is where an individual intentionally causes physical harm to their own body. Self-harm as a maladaptive behaviour can take many forms, including cutting, burning, biting, or hitting themselves. Severe physical and mental health consequences result from this type of behaviour; hence it is maladaptive. People who self-harm often use it as a way to release their pent-up emotional energy or to punish themselves for perceived mistakes. 

Self-harm is not the same as suicide, although the behaviour can increase the risk of suicidal ideations. In fact, a study also found that individuals who self-harm use avoidance as a coping mechanism. They hurt themselves secretly, making it difficult for loved ones to understand what’s happening. They may hide their scars and bruises, and some may not even realise that their behaviour is harmful.

While it may provide a temporary distraction, self-harm can quickly become a harmful and addictive behaviour that is difficult to break.

The consequences of self-harm include:

  • Physical health problems: Self-harm can result in physical injuries, infections, and scarring.

  • Mental health problems: Self-harm can worsen existing mental health conditions and lead to new ones, such as depression, anxiety, and panic disorders.

  • Stigma and shame: Individuals who self-harm may feel shame or embarrassment about their behaviour. These feelings force them to socially isolate themselves and lead to a breakdown in their relationships.

  • Difficulty stopping: Self-harm can be difficult to control, as they may feel addicted to the relief it provides. 

If you or someone you know is hurting themselves, it is crucial to reach out for help. This can include talking to a trusted friend or family member, seeing a professional therapist, or reaching out to a crisis helpline.

Eating disorders

Eating disorders are a form of maladaptive behaviour that can have severe and long-lasting effects on a person’s physical and mental health. They transpire when someone has abnormal eating habits like overeating, getting rid of the food they’ve eaten, or only eating very little. Eating disorders can develop due to a desire to be thin, societal pressure to conform to a particular body type or underlying mental health conditions.

Individuals with eating disorders suffer from low self-esteem, perfectionism, and a negative body image. They may also have a history of childhood trauma, abuse, or neglect. The most common eating disorders among teenagers and young adults are Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, and binge eating disorder. Usually, all these disorders involve abnormal eating patterns and unhealthy relationships with food.

Eating disorders can quickly spiral out of control, leading to severe physical and emotional consequences. These include malnutrition, electrolyte imbalances, depression, anxiety, cardiovascular issues, and suicide. Individuals suffering from eating disorders may require professional help and support to rekindle a healthy relationship with food and their bodies.

Substance abuse 

Substance abuse is a form of maladaptive behaviour. It refers to the excessive or repeated use of drugs or alcohol to cope, despite its negative consequences. It often starts as a way for individuals to cope with stress, anxiety, or other emotional difficulties. However, it can quickly become a full-blown addiction. Over time, individuals become dependent on the substance to regulate their mood, leading to a destructive pattern of use.

Substance abuse can take many forms, including excessive drinking, drug abuse, and even over-the-counter medication abuse. The negative impact of substance abuse can be far-reaching. It causes damage to the brain and body, increases the risk of accidents and injuries, and affects relationships, work, and personal life. It is also associated with several mental health conditions like depression and bipolar disorder.

Treating substance abuse requires a multi-faceted approach that addresses both the addiction and the underlying emotional issues. Effective treatment includes therapy, support groups, and medication-assisted treatment. Professional psychotherapists at TYHO can help individuals regain control over their substance abuse and develop healthy coping skills. With the right help, it is possible for individuals to overcome their addiction and build a happier and healthier life.

How Do You Know if You Have Maladaptive Behaviour?

Recognising the signs of maladaptive behaviour is the first step in seeking help. If you find yourself engaging in behaviours that interfere with your daily life or the lives of those around you, it may be time to seek professional help.

Some common signs include:

  • engaging in self-sabotaging behaviours;

  • having an unhealthy relationship with food;

  • addiction to drugs, alcohol, or other substances;

  • sexual dysfunctions or compulsions;

  • fantasy-prone behaviour, such as daydreaming excessively;

  • impulsive or irrational behaviour;

  • difficulty managing and regulating emotions; and

  • withdrawing from friends and family.

It can be hard to acknowledge that your behaviour may be maladaptive, but seeking help is an essential step towards healing and recovery. If you’re feeling overwhelmed and notice changes in your eating habits, it’s a good idea to reach out for help. A mental health professional, like a counsellor or psychologist, can help you understand your habits and thought patterns, and guide you as you develop the tools you need to cope with them healthily.

How Do You Deal with Maladaptive Behaviours?

Breaking the cycle of maladaptive behaviours may not be an easy feat, especially if they have become habitual over time. When it comes to dealing with life’s challenges, it’s helpful to find healthy ways to manage stress and negative emotions.

Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Here are some alternative strategies that you can try out and see what works best for you: 

An alternative to engaging in maladaptive behaviour would be working out physically.

Exercise

Physical activity can be a great way to relieve stress and boost your mood. Whether it’s going for a run or playing a sport, find something you enjoy. The key is to make it a part of your daily routine.

Mindfulness

Practising mindfulness can help you be more present and aware of the moment. People often do this to reduce stress and improve their overall wellbeing. Another fun way to approach mindfulness is to involve your friend or partner in it! Meditating, journaling, or simply taking deep breaths with a loved one can be incredibly peaceful.

Connecting with others

Social support is also a key to taking care of our mental health. Try spending time with friends and family, signing up for a club, or volunteering for a cause you’re passionate about. It is always so much fun to explore our unique needs and interests.

Hobbies and interests

People often take up various hobbies to relieve stress and bring back joy into their lives. It doesn’t have to be anything huge; something as simple as collecting rocks or reading books can uplift your mood.

Mind-body therapies

With guided therapies like yoga, tai chi, and acupuncture, you may feel deeply relaxed. It is also a great way to incorporate physical movement every day.

Remember, what works for one individual may not always work for another. The idea is to find healthy ways to cope with challenges and take care of your emotional wellbeing. Keep trying different things until you figure out what helps you the best!

Conclusion

In conclusion, maladaptive behaviours can drastically impact one’s life and the lives of people around them. However, with the proper support and treatment, individuals can overcome these behaviours and lead fulfilling lives.

Online therapy has become a popular option for those seeking help for maladaptive behaviour. The convenience and privacy of receiving treatment from the comfort of one’s home have made it easier for individuals to seek help and overcome challenges. Furthermore, online therapy in Singapore and all over the world is also accessible for those who live in remote areas or have limited access to traditional therapy services.

Don’t be afraid to seek help; a support system is available for you right here. Seeking help is a courageous step towards recovery and a brighter future.

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Do I Have ADHD or Am I Just Lazy

Posted on by rootal
  • 1 October 2022
Attention-deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is one of the most well-known conditions affecting children. While diagnosis typically takes place in childhood, adults can also be diagnosed with ADHD. In fact, more than 300 million adults globally were reported to have ADHD in 2020. Although the presentation of symptoms may change over the years, ADHD is often a lifelong condition. In attempting to answer the question, “Do I have ADHD or am I just lazy?”, this article covers what ADHD is, the symptoms of ADHD, and how ADHD is diagnosed. The article then explores some common misconceptions surrounding ADHD, treatment options, and other health conditions that may resemble ADHD.

This Article Contains:

What is ADHD?

Before we dive into the question, “Do I have ADHD or am I just lazy?”, let us first understand what ADHD is. ADHD has been classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (or DSM-5), which clinicians worldwide use to diagnose mental health conditions. The DSM-5 was published by the American Psychiatric Association or APA. According to the DSM-5, ADHD is “a persistent pattern of inattention and / or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development”.

You may also see or hear the term ADD used interchangeably with ADHD. ADD stands for attention-deficit disorder, an old terms that denotes the inattentive type of ADHD (more on this in the next section). This term change from ADD to ADHD occurred in 1987, and the formal term used today is ADHD.

Symptoms of ADHD in Adults

The symptoms of ADHD may be categorised into two types of ADHD: inattention and hyperactivity / impulsivity. A person may have either type of ADHD, or a combination of both.

Symptoms of Inattention

  • A lack of attention to detail or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work, or in other activities (eg misses or overlooks details, and inaccurate work)
  • Has difficulty sustaining attention when in tasks or play activities (eg difficulty focusing during lectures, conversations, or lengthy reading)
  • Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly (eg seems to be thinking about something else, even when there is no obvious distraction)
  • Often does not follow through on instructions and does not finish schoolwork, chores, or workplace duties (eg starts tasks but loses focus quickly and easily sidetracks)
  • Has difficulty organising activities and tasks (eg poor time management, is messy, and does not meet deadlines)
  • Tends to avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (eg school work, preparing reports, reviewing lengthy papers, and completing forms)
  • Tends to lose objects required for tasks or activities (eg stationery, wallet, keys, paperwork, and glasses)
  • Easily distracted by extraneous stimuli (eg by unrelated thoughts)
  • Often forgetful in daily activities (eg daily chores or errands, appointment times, paying bills, and returning calls)
Do I Have ADHD or Am I Just Lazy

Symptoms of Hyperactivity and Impulsivity

  • Fidgeting (eg fidgets with or taps hands or feet, squirming in seat)
  • Leaves seat frequently in situations where expected to remain seated (eg in a classroom, office, or other workplace)
  • Feels restless
  • Often unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly
  • Often “on the go”, or acts as if “driven by a motor”, difficulty being still for extended time (eg in restaurants or meetings; may appear to others as being restless or difficult to keep up with)
  • Tends to talk excessively, or blurt out an answer before someone completes the question (eg completes others’ sentences, and unable to wait for their turn in a conversation)
  • Tends to have difficulty waiting for their turn (eg when waiting in line)
  • Frequently interrupts or intrudes on others (eg interrupts in conversations, may start using other people’s things without asking or receiving permission, and may intrude into or take over what others are doing)

Diagnosis of ADHD

For a diagnosis of ADHD in adults, the DSM-5 stipulates that all the following five criteria must be met:

  • Five or more symptoms of inattention and / or five or more symptoms of hyperactivity / impulsivity must have persisted for at least six months, to an extent that is inconsistent with the individual’s developmental level and negatively impacts the individual’s social and academic or occupational activities.
  • Several symptoms must have been present prior to the age of 12 years.
  • Several symptoms must be present in at least two settings (eg school, work, home; with friends or relatives, or in other activities)
  • There must be clear evidence that the symptoms interfere with or reduce the individual’s quality of social, school, or occupational functioning.
  • The symptoms must not happen only during the course of schizophrenia or another psychotic disorder, and must not be better explained by a different mental disorder (eg mood disorder, anxiety disorder, dissociative disorder, personality disorder, substance intoxication or withdrawal).

There is no single test for whether a person has ADHD or if they are lazy. To adequately answer the question, “Do I have ADHD or am I just lazy?”, a diagnosis of ADHD based on a comprehensive clinical evaluation is required. The diagnosis of ADHD should only be done by a qualified professional, and this may be a medical doctor, psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, or a paediatrician if it involves a child.

Common Misconceptions of ADHD

Despite the presence of symptoms, a diagnosis of ADHD can sometimes slip under the radar. This may be due to certain misconceptions about ADHD. This section discusses and debunks some of these common myths.

Myth 1: People who have ADHD are just lazy.

Unfortunately, people with ADHD have sometimes been called lazy by others who are misinformed. This is because symptoms of ADHD, particularly those of inattention, can make these individuals appear lazy.

Yet, the truth is that people with ADHD might try their best by putting in a lot of effort but find it difficult to complete tasks and activities. As such, their unfinished tasks or avoidance of them continue to be mistaken as a projection of their laziness. 

Myth 2: ADHD is not a real medical condition.

ADHD is a genuine neurodevelopmental disorder that has a significant biological basis. Research has demonstrated that people with ADHD have differences in the brain in terms of brain structure, function, and development. These differences may change over the years as an individual matures.

Myth 3: ADHD only affects children.

Although ADHD is a condition that begins in childhood, it often continues in adulthood. ADHD can have a profound impact on different aspects of an adult’s life. For instance, an adult with ADHD may have poor organisation skills that affects their ability to meet deadlines at work. Their difficulty with time management may also contribute to them being constantly late for or missing appointments. Tasks like waiting in line for their turn may also be challenging.

Myth 4: ADHD only affects boys.

ADHD affects both males and females. While both boys and girls may show symptoms of inattention and / or impulsive and hyperactive behaviours, the presentation of symptoms may differ across boys and girls. Boys are more likely to present with impulsive and hyperactive behaviours, while girls are more likely to show symptoms of inattention. Because symptoms of inattention are less disruptive and do not look like the stereotype of what people think ADHD is, diagnoses for girls may occur later or missed altogether. This means that girls may not get the support they need as early as possible.

Myth 5: Bad parenting causes ADHD

When people see disruptive or inattentive behaviour, they may assume that it is due to bad parenting or a lack of discipline. However, while the exact cause of ADHD remains unknown, research has shown that genetics can play a big role in developing ADHD. This means that if a parent has ADHD, their child has an increased chance of having ADHD as well.

Treatment Options for ADHD

Upon diagnosis of ADHD, treatment options for ADHD generally include medication and professional therapy, or a combination of both.

Medication

There are various types of medication that can help to relieve the symptoms of ADHD. Your medical doctor may prescribe you with a small dose initially, which might increase over time. Keep in mind that what works well for one person may not necessarily work for another. Always consult your medical doctor before taking any new medication, and only change your dose in accordance with your doctor’s advice. You may also wish to ask your doctor about any potential side effects of the medication prescribed to you.

Do I Have ADHD or Am I Just Lazy

Professional Therapy

A professional therapist may be a psychologist or a counsellor. Your therapist will work with you to explore the possible causes of your difficulties and discuss ways in which you may cope better. A common approached used in professional therapy is cognitive behavioural therapy or CBT.

Other Strategies

There are also other things that you can do to improve your day-to-day coping. For instance, many people with ADHD benefit from having a structured daily routine and sticking to it. At times when you need to focus on a task, you may try to reduce distractions as much as possible. Distractions include background noise, mobile phones, and being within earshot of other people’s conversations. You may also motivate yourself to complete a task by rewarding yourself upon finishing the task.

If I Do Not Have ADHD, What Else Could It Be?

There are many other conditions that might appear to be like ADHD. These might be physical health conditions such as low blood sugar levels, hearing problems, and sleep disorders. They may also be other mental health conditions such as bipolar disorder, depression, or anxiety. To get a better idea of what might be causing your symptoms, consult a medical doctor. If your symptoms are affecting you emotionally, you may wish to consider seeing a professional therapist.

Conclusion: Do I Have ADHD or Am I Just Lazy?

In short, there is no straightforward answer to the question, “Do I have ADHD or am I just lazy?” because there is no single test to diagnose ADHD. Instead, a full evaluation by a qualified professional is required. This is especially so because the symptoms of ADHD may at times mirror that of other physical and mental health conditions. ADHD has been classified as a neurodevelopmental disorder in the DSM-5. Contrary to popular belief, adults can also be diagnosed with ADHD, although the symptoms need to have been present from childhood. The symptoms of ADHD may fall under inattention, hyperactivity / impulsivity, or both. Various misconceptions may have contributed to missed or late diagnoses of ADHD. Thankfully, ADHD is treatable by medication, professional therapy, or both. A profssional may also adopt other strategies concurrently.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the difference between ADD and ADHD? Why are there two different terms?

ADD (attention-deficit disorder) was the old term for ADHD (attention-deficit/hyperactive disorder), and it is now known as the inattentive type of ADHD. In the past, a diagnosis of ADD could be “with hyperactivity” or “without hyperactivity”. The change from ADD to ADHD occurred in 1987. The official term used today is ADHD, which covers both the inattentive and hyperactive types.

Do I have ADHD or do I just procrastinate? How do I know if I have laziness or ADHD? Do I have ADHD or am I just depressed? Do I have ADHD or am I just easily distracted?

There is no single test to find out if you have ADHD or if something else such as low motivation or depression. The only way to know if you have ADHD is to consult a medical doctor, psychiatrist, clinical psychologist, or a pediatrician if the person undergoing the diagnosis is a child. This is because a diagnosis of ADHD requires a comprehensive clinical evaluation. In the process, your doctor will also work to rule out other possible causes of your symptoms.

What are some signs of ADHD in adults? What are some common signs of ADD / ADHD?

Signs of ADHD in adults may fall under inattention or hyperactivity and impulsivity.

Signs of inattention include lack of attention to detail, difficulty sustaining attention, appearing not to listen when spoken to directly, not following through on instructions, difficulty organising tasks and activities, avoiding engaging in tasks that require sustained mental effort, often losing objects required for tasks, often easily distracted, and often forgetful in daily activities.

Finally, signs of hyperactivity and impulsivity include fidgeting, leaving one’s seat frequently, feeling restless, being unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly, often being “on the go” or acting as if “driven by a motor”, talking excessively, blurting out answers, difficulty waiting for one’s turn, and often interrupting or intruding on others.

ADD / ADHD and the brain: How does ADD / ADHD affect the brain?

Studies have shown that people with ADHD have differences in terms of brain structure, brain function, and brain development, as compared to people without ADHD.

Why do people confuse ADHD and laziness?

People sometimes confuse ADHD and laziness when they see unfinished tasks; they may assume that a task was unfinished because the person was lazy or lacked motivation. However, the reality is that people with ADHD may have put in a lot of effort and may be trying their best, but find it difficult to focus or stay organised, thereby affecting their ability to complete tasks.

What are some common ways of treating ADD / ADHD?

Medication, professional therapy, or more often, a combination of both.

Living With ADHD: What are some things I can do to improve my quality of life?

There are many things that you can try in addition to medication and / or professional therapy. Keep in mind that different things may work for different individuals, meaning that it may take some trial and error before you find something that works well for you. Some strategies that you can try are having a daily structure or routine and adhering to it, reducing distractions when you need to focus on a task (eg pick a silent location with minimal background noise, place your phone elsewhere so that notifications do not distract you), and rewarding yourself each time you complete a task.

If I don’t have ADHD, what’s causing my lack of motivation? What are some conditions that can look like ADHD?

There are many things that you can try in addition to medication and / or professional therapy. Keep in mind that different things may work for different individuals, meaning that it may take some trial and error before you find something that works well for you. Some strategies that you can try are having a daily structure or routine and adhering to it, reducing distractions when you need to focus on a task (eg pick a silent location with minimal background noise, place your phone elsewhere so that notifications do not distract you), and rewarding yourself each time you complete a task.

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