The Gottman Method was developed by Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman. 

The key factors focused on during this intervention includes communication skills, intimacy, respect, and affection.  

Your couples Therapist in Singapore may ask questions to get to know you and gain insights into the dynamics of your relationship. Soon after, your counsellor may take an assessment, which first takes place with a joint session between you, your partner, and the counsellor.  

During the assessment, your counsellor may also speak separately with you and your partner. You will also be asked to fill in evidence-based questionnaires developed to assess elements from the Gottman Method.  

The assessment and additional questions will give your couples counsellor the big picture of the relationship.  

During the Gottman Method, your counsellor may use love maps (eg getting to know each other) and other scientific exercises to build fondness, admiration, trust, and commitment.  

During counselling for couples, you can expect to overcome issues such as: 

• Stonewalling (you or your partner withdrawing from frequent conversations) 
• Criticism from each other 
• Blame-shifting  
• Lack of mutual respect and understanding 
• Lack of affection, attention, and comfort 
• Lack of support from either you or your partner 

Many TYHO couples counsellors have the required qualifications and expertise in emotionally focused couples therapy (EFT). 

EFT is a offline or online couples therapy our counsellors use to understand and identify negative and rigid patterns of interactions in couples. This couple therapy will help you identify emotional disconnection and insecure attachment style with your partner. 

TYHO counsellors use EFT to tap into your inherent power of emotions and motivations to maintain your relationship.  

During EFT therapy, your counsellor may observe your individual experiences, emotional responses, and how you and your partner interact.  

Your counsellor will also guide the conversation at times and prevent it from becoming harmful or destructive.  

During your session, TYHO counsellors will also focus on creating a positive therapeutic relationship with you. Using the core elements of EFT – emotional moments and interactions – your counsellor will continue to track and reflect on their observations.  

You will notice changes in your relationship in three stages, where you might experience major shifts in the first two stages. The three main stages include de-escalating negative cycles, restructuring the bond and integrating tools.  

Through EFT, couples counsellors can help you with issues such as: 

• Feelings of alienation and loneliness in the relationship 
• Defensiveness and shifting blame on each other 
• Feelings of hopelessness in the relationship 
• Being fixated on each other's faults and negatives  
• Lack of emotional or sexual attraction 

TYHO couples counsellors primarily use SFBT to help couples come up with solutions for their challenges. SFBT is also used during: 

• Marriage counselling 
• Family counselling 
• Individual therapy 
• Anxiety counselling 

Counsellors in Singapore use this approach to help with various aspects of the couple's life, such as personal, family, and work – and identify how these areas affect your relationship and interactions with your partner. 

During relationship counselling, your counsellor will help you learn tools to come up with solutions for problems immediately, rather than exploring the underlying issues as in other types of approaches.  

Your counsellors will ask you and your partner questions to set realistic and practice goals. You will also work with the couples counsellors to describe your ideal relationship.  

In the following sessions, you will work collaboratively (with the counsellor and partner) to outline the necessary steps, requirements, timelines, and strategies to achieve the discussed goal.  

To create realistic couple goals, your counsellor will ask you questions and help you identify how you solved your problems in the past and what works for you as a couple.  

Couples counsellors also use tools in SFBT like scaling questions and miracle questions. Scaled questions will have scales to assess your partner’s and your levels of trust, communication, agreement, commitment, and satisfaction in the relationship.  

On the other hand, your counsellor might use miracle questions to help you imagine a future where your relationship has significantly improved due to one particular event. You will then work together with your partner to write down steps that you can take to make that imagination a reality.  

With SFBT, TYHO's counselling for couples services can help you with issues such as: 

• Lack of honest and open communication 

• Lack of intimacy 
• Lack of healthy and personal boundaries in the relationship 
• Lack of understanding of individual and couple goals and expectations 
• Feeling neglected due to busy schedules and work timings