June 2025 - Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO)

In Conversation with a Therapist: Managing Conflict in Romantic Relationships

Posted on June 30, 2025July 1, 2025 by Manassa Shrikanth

Glenn believes that every person deserves the following things: the freedom to express, the space to be heard, the time to heal, the ability just to be, and the belief that one can grow.

She works with older adolescents, individual adults and couples from diverse backgrounds over a wide range of issues, including relationship problems, depression, anxiety and grief.

Glenn adopts a collaborative and multimodal approach as she believes there is no one-size-fits-all in therapy. She is trained in Gottman Method Couples Therapy and Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT), and incorporates elements of Schema Therapy and Mindfulness practices into her sessions.

She currently works as a Therapist with Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO). Her complete profile can be found here.

Did you know that couples who never argue report 35% lower relationship satisfaction levels than those who do?

Statistics like these reveal the truth: conflicts, arguments, and fights are a normal part of healthy relationships.

It’s not about never fighting – it’s about how we do it.

Read on to explore a written interview with one of our expert couples and individual counsellors, Glenn, on managing conflict in romantic relationships.

1) How do I know if we’re just having normal conflict or if this has turned toxic?

Healthy conflict involves disagreement, but there is also respect, repair, and a sense of safety present.

Toxic conflict often includes contempt, blame, stonewalling, or feeling afraid of your partner’s reactions.

A key sign of a healthy relationship is not the absence of conflict, but the presence of respect, accountability and repair. If you’re consistently left feeling unheard, fearful, or disrespected, it may be time to reassess the dynamic.

2) Is there a way we can prepare ourselves before a fight so we handle it better?

Yes, preparation can help prevent fights from escalating out of control. Here are some ways you can do that:

Try setting ground rules during calm moments (eg no yelling, no name-calling, take breaks if overwhelmed).
Practice pre-fight check-ins: pause when tension rises, name what you’re feeling, and agree on a respectful way to talk about it.

3) How can I calm myself down and stay present during an argument?

When we argue, stress responses are bound to show up. When you shut down or cry, your body is trying to protect you.

Before conversations, practice grounding techniques such as:

Deep breathing
Holding something tactile
Planting your feet on the floor

During the argument, if you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to say, ‘I need a few minutes to calm down so I can meaningfully engage.’

Then return when you’re ready. Over time, you’ll build tolerance for staying with tough emotions.

Couples counselling can help develop conflict resolution skills

4) How do we work through conflict when one of us pulls away and the other wants to fix things right away?

Recognising this dynamic is very important. Let’s call it the pursuer-distancer dynamic:

The pursuer needs connection to feel safe; the distancer needs space to regulate their emotions. Neither is wrong.

The key is timing and reassurance. The person who needs space should commit to returning to the conversation within a set time (eg ‘Let’s talk in an hour’), and the pursuer needs to respect that boundary.

The one needing connection can focus on self-soothing while waiting, knowing they’re not being abandoned.

5) How can we both cope better after a fight so we don’t feel so disconnected?

Post-conflict repair is essential. After a fight, try a reconnection ritual – a small gesture that signals you’re still a team, such as:

A hug
A shared activity
Or simply saying, ‘I still care about you, even when we argue’

Give each other space to process, but always commit to coming together to reflect on what happened and what each person needed. This bridges the gap between different emotional recovery speeds and prevents resentment from building up.

6) How do we deal with conflict when one of us is emotional and the other is more practical?

Recognise that both emotional expression and problem-solving are valid needs.

Validate each other’s approach through verbal assurances like: ‘I know you need to express your feelings’, or ‘I know you want to find a solution.’

Then take turns. Begin with emotional sharing, using ‘I feel’ statements, and ask the practical partner to simply listen.

Then switch gears to brainstorming solutions together. Respecting both styles builds empathy and balance.

7) What are some small habits or changes we can make to fight less and stay close?

a) Daily Check-ins

Never underestimate the power of asking your partner about how they are or how their day has been.

b) Be Intentional and Show Appreciation

Even a small thank you when it comes to something like doing the dishes or grabbing you a glass of water goes a long way.

c) Relationship Talk

Set aside time to talk meaningfully about how the relationship is going.

d) Pause and Reflect

Before reacting, ask yourself, ‘What’s really bothering me?’

These small habits can build emotional safety and reduce conflict over time.

8) How can I initiate healthier conversations where both of us can take responsibility and genuinely listen?

It’s always helpful to consider timing and setting when choosing to initiate conversations. No one likes to be caught off guard.

Approach the conversation with curiosity about your partner’s perspectives, instead of approaching with blame.

Invite your partner to share their perspective, and mutually reflect, while also acknowledging your part in the situation.

If you find yourself feeling defensive, be curious about that. ‘Why is this hard for me?’ This can open up both your perspectives and promote deeper honesty and less reactivity.

4 Therapist-Vetted Practical Exercises to Manage Relationship Conflicts

According to Dr. John Gottman, happy and fulfilled couples report engaging in an average of one to two conflicts per month.

The reasons for relationship conflicts can arise from a range of factors, such as misalignments in:

Communication styles
Emotional needs, connection & love languages
Finances & priorities
Sex & intimacy
Division of labour & roles within the relationship
Transitioning life stages

Misunderstandings and conflicts may also stem from common relationship pitfalls like:

Making assumptions or engaging in ‘mind reading’
Ignoring emotional flooding
Not making repair attempts
Taking on a combative approach
Engaging in The Four Horsemen: Defensiveness, stonewalling, contempt, criticism

Below are four therapist-vetted practical strategies to go from ‘I don’t know how to resolve this!’ to ‘We can get through this as a team’:

1) Reframing: Shifting from Combat Mode to Collaborative Mode

When dealing with a conflict, it’s important to frame ourselves the right way, the healthy way.

In the heat of the moment, when emotions take control, it can be easy to go into combat mode – viewing the conflict as you versus your partner.

However, in order to de-escalate and engage in healthy conflict resolution, it’s essential to shift from combat to collaborative mode.

The illustration below shows a quick differentiation between combat and collaborative modes:

2) Time-Outs: Taking a Break to Reflect & Reset

There’s immense power in a pause. Research shows that even a five-second pause can help de-escalate an argument.

During a conflict, if you find your emotions slipping out of control, take a short break. This can be as short as taking a deep breath or as long as a few hours.

Remember to voice your need for a time-out and commit to returning to the conversation at a set time.

Here are some things you can do during a time-out:

3) Verbal Repairs: Using Your Words to Repair & Reconnect

When a conflict does get out of hand, anger can build up, and you may say things you didn’t really mean or be harsh with your words. It’s important for both partners to make repairs once they realise this.

Words and actions are powerful tools for showing affection and reconnecting with your partner during or after an argument.

Remember that you’re negotiating with someone you love and care about, not fighting against an opponent.

Below are some practical examples of verbal repairs:

In addition to using verbal repairs, you can also show your affection through actions like:

Reaching out to hold their hand
Getting them a glass of water
Getting them tissues
Asking them what they need
Offering them a hug

However, be mindful of their boundaries and always check whether they’re comfortable with such acts of affection in the moment.

4) Mindful Speaking & Reflective Listening: Talking and Hearing with Respect

During arguments or heavy discussions, it’s crucial to both speak mindfully and listen actively and reflectively.

By mindful speaking, we mean:

Using ‘I’ statements – focus on what you feel or need, not criticising or judging your partner.
Asking questions to understand, not to control, test, judge or shame.
Expressing a positive need, and not just focusing on the complaint.

Reflective listening is the act of ensuring your partner feels heard and understood, not merely listened to. When we engage in reflective listening, we become more empathetic, less defensive and open to connection and understanding.

Here’s what reflective listening can look like:

Conclusion

Once again, we’d like to reiterate that it’s not about never fighting – it’s about how we fight.

Conflict can often be an opportunity to collaborate and connect more deeply as partners. By learning to engage in conflicts in healthy ways, you can strengthen your bond and grow closer to your partner.

Therapy in Singapore can be a safe and guided avenue to navigate relationship conflicts. Here are some key ways a therapist can help you with this:

Identifying, analysing and understanding the root causes of conflict
Setting healthy boundaries and holding space for each other
Navigating differences or mismatches in values, beliefs, and expectations
Learning practical conflict de-escalation, resolution and reflection strategies, tools and techniques
Working together as a team and reconnecting emotionally

Click here to book your couples counselling session.💜

Do You Really Need Marriage Counselling? 5 Signs You Might

Posted on June 30, 2025June 30, 2025 by Manassa Shrikanth

Do you think marriage counselling is only for couples on the verge of separation? In reality, that couldn’t be further from the truth!

According to a recent study, 50% of married couples say they’ve engaged in counselling of some kind.

Marriage counselling is a safe space that caters to a wide variety of couples, such as:

Couples who are newly married
Couples going through major life changes (eg moving to a different city/country, moving in together, career transitions, etc)
Couples who are pregnant or have a newborn child
Couples with clashing values, beliefs and parenting styles
Couples navigating unsaid expectations and assumptions
Couples dealing with recurring conflict and arguments
Couples who have grown emotionally distant from each other
Couples experiencing intimacy issues

Thus, marriage counselling is a proactive avenue for couples to explore potential issues or newborn issues before they blow up.

You can also engage in marriage counselling to simply get to know your spouse more deeply and strengthen your bond with the guidance of a trained professional.

If you’ve been wondering whether or when to seek marriage counselling, our blog explores common reasons why relationships struggle and five signs that show your relationship may need help. However, remember that you don’t need to have a ‘reason’ to seek any type of counselling.

This Article Contains:

When to Seek Marriage Counselling in Australia: 5 Signs Your Relationship Needs Help

1) You Feel More Like Roommates Than Partners

Emotional disconnection can be one of the biggest red flags that show things have changed.

While it’s normal for the initial spark of a new relationship to turn into silent connection, feeling like one or both of you has emotionally checked out is not.

Here are some signs of emotional disconnection to look out for:

You coexist peacefully but lack meaningful connection
You no longer look forward to spending time together
You don’t share as many things with each other
Conversations are mostly about logistics (groceries, bills, chores)
Affection, both physical and emotional, feels a little forced or absent
You spend most of your free time apart
You no longer engage in activities you used to enjoy together
There’s little to no excitement about shared future plans
You feel lonely even when you’re physically together

How Marriage Counselling Can Help

Marriage counselling offers you a guided space to understand why you’ve grown apart and how you can reconnect with your partner.

A trained marriage counsellor in Australia can help:

Rebuild emotional intimacy using tools like love maps, which help partners rediscover each other’s inner worlds
Improve communication through structured practices like ‘I’ statements or active listening exercises to reduce blame and foster understanding
Create meaningful couples rituals (eg rituals of connection from the Gottman Method) that encourage bonding in daily life
Prioritise quality time by using Time-In scheduling techniques to spend time together and reconnect intentionally

2) Life Transitions Are Pulling You in Different Directions

Major life transitions have the potential to affect relationships – be it moving to a new city, switching careers, having a child, or caring for ageing parents. While change is inevitable in life, these transitions can sometimes create distance, misunderstandings and conflict, especially when both partners are not aligned.

Here are some signs that a life transition might be straining your relationship:

You’re not aligned with the change itself, or a few aspects of it
Your short-term or long-term goals are different
One partner is adapting to the change faster than the other
There are unsaid expectations on one partner to do or not do certain things (due to the transition)
There’s a lack of emotional support from one partner during a major life shift
One or both partners feel like they’re making too many compromises
Your routines are clashing and leading to increased stress

How Marriage Counselling Can Help

Life transitions are one of the most common marital issues that couples bring to marriage counselling.

A professional marriage counsellor can create the right space for you to process these changes together. They can help each of you articulate your expectations, needs and fears around the transition.

Below are some practical tools and techniques you may learn in marriage counselling:

Values clarification exercises to help identify what matters most to each of you in this new stage
Future vision mapping to explore shared goals and re-establish a sense of direction in your relationship
Role negotiation tools to create fairer expectations around responsibilities (eg parenting, household tasks, etc)
Communication techniques to manage difficult conversations more constructively and objectively
Emotional regulation techniques, such as mindfulness or grounding tools, to help manage stress and avoid getting caught in immediate reactions

3) One or Both of You Feel Unheard or Unseen

Feeling neglected in a relationship is not always a result of explosive arguments or harsh words. Sometimes, it can look like the quiet absence of empathy, attention or validation in the little moments.

When your thoughts, feelings or needs are not acknowledged over time, it can slowly build up and create distance. You may even subconsciously wonder, ‘Does my partner love me?’.

Some common signs that show you may be feeling emotionally neglected in your marriage are:

You feel like you’re always the one initiating conversations or affection
Your partner often interrupts, dismisses, or talks over you
You don’t feel safe sharing how you truly feel
You often end conversations feeling misunderstood or invalidated
Important topics get brushed aside or avoided
One or both of you rarely check in emotionally anymore
There’s a lack of appreciation or recognition for your efforts

How Marriage Counselling Can Help

Marriage counselling in Australia can help both partners feel acknowledged and emotionally reconnected by introducing tools that foster active listening and empathy. These may include:

Reflective listening techniques, where each partner learns to repeat back what they heard in order to ensure mutual understanding
Emotion labelling exercises to help you identify and express emotions more clearly
Validation frameworks, which teach you how to acknowledge your partner’s feelings even when you disagree with them
Communication boundaries, such as time-outs or speaker–listener roles, to avoid emotional shutdowns or power imbalances
Journaling or regular check-ins to support more meaningful conversations outside of your sessions

Approaches like these help both partners feel seen, valued, and respected – the foundation of a lasting connection and a happy marriage.

4) You Avoid Tough Conversations to Keep the Peace

It may feel easier to sweep things under the carpet than to face difficult conversations. But doing so consistently can lead to unresolved issues and create distance and deeper misunderstandings over time.

Avoidance may feel good in the moment, but in reality, you’re putting off conversations and confrontations that are essential to a healthy relationship.

The following are some signs that this could be happening:

You hesitate to bring up concerns out of fear that it’ll blow up
Important (and difficult) topics like money, boundaries and parenting often remain unaddressed
You sugar-coat how you really feel or keep conversations surface-level
Conflict is quickly shut down with phrases like ‘let’s not go there’ or ‘it’s not a big deal’
One or both of you walk on eggshells around each other when hard topics come up
There’s a pattern of deflecting, minimising, or withdrawing during conflict
Issues keep resurfacing because they’re never fully resolved
You find yourself venting to others instead of talking to your partner

How Marriage Counselling Can Help

A marriage counsellor can create a neutral space where difficult conversations can happen without the fear of shame, blame or judgment.

Through marriage counselling in Australia, couples can:

Explore what’s beneath the avoidance, such as fear of abandonment, past trauma, shame, etc
Learn conflict de-escalation strategies (in case escalation does happen), such as time-outs, grounding techniques, and setting a ‘pause’ word
Develop assertive communication skills, where each partner learns to express their needs without blame or defensiveness
Use structured conversation tools to productively explore tough topics. Eg: ‘speaker–listener technique’ and ‘nonviolent communication (NVC)

These tools, along with the professional guidance of a counsellor, can help reduce fear of confrontation and encourage open and compassionate communication.

5) Your Conflicts Are Impacting Your Mental Health

Did you know that 69% of relationship conflict is perpetual? These are issues that have been brushed under the carpet for a long time and have been around essentially ‘perpetually’.

However, the good news is in the very same statistic – you’re not alone in having perpetual conflicts.

Having said that, when conflicts get to the point of affecting your relationship or worse, your mental health, it’s time to take a step back. Perpetual and intense conflicts can start taking a toll on your mental health, becoming a source of stress and anxiety.

If left unaddressed, this stress can snowball into burnout, depression and even trauma responses.

Here are some red flags that show your relationship stress may be affecting your mental health:

You feel anxious, on edge, or emotionally drained after interactions
You struggle with low mood, hopelessness, or a sense of apathy/emotional numbness
Your sleep, appetite, or concentration is affected due to the ongoing conflict
You constantly second-guess yourself or feel like you’re ‘walking on eggshells’ around each other
Your self-esteem and self-confidence have taken a hit over time
Arguments trigger strong emotional reactions (eg panic, shutting down, heavy crying)
You find yourself withdrawing from friends or activities you used to enjoy

How Marriage Counselling Can Help:

Marriage counselling not only helps improve your relationship dynamics, it also supports each individual partner’s mental health and personal growth journey.

A skilled therapist can help you:

Explore individual mental health struggles that may be impacting the relationship (eg past trauma, breakups, anxiety, or burnout)
Identify and break toxic conflict patterns like blame-shifting, defensiveness, or demand-withdraw cycles
Develop conflict resolution strategies and a mental health toolkit with skills like emotional regulation, grounding exercises, journaling and boundary setting
Make room for emotional check-ins and shared rituals to ensure that each partner’s mental wellness is acknowledged and supported (eg planned daily walks, weekend dates, movie night-ins etc)

Over time, marriage counselling can help create a healthier relationship dynamic – one where both of you can grow more fulfilled in love and your individual lives as well.

Feeling like you and your spouse are drifting apart?

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1) What are some common marital issues explored during marriage counselling in Australia?

Marriage counselling in Australia helps couples work through a wide range of marital issues. Some of the most common marital issues include:

Emotional disconnection or lack of intimacy
Struggles with communication, including frequent or perpetual arguments
Infidelity or breaches of trust
Conflicting parenting styles
Disagreements about major life decisions
Financial stress or misaligned money values
Mental health struggles impacting the relationship
Navigating major life changes, such as moving cities, changing jobs, or dealing with grief or illness
Cultural or interfaith challenges in cross-cultural/national relationships
Issues around boundaries with extended family
Unsaid or unfair expectations and assumptions about gender roles, responsibilities, etc

Professional marriage counsellors can help you get to the roots of these issues and explore constructive and practical ways to deal with them and strengthen your marriage.

2) What are some common signs that we need couples therapy?

Here are some tell-tale signs your relationship could benefit from therapy:

You’re arguing more often than usual or avoiding hard conversations
Conversations feel tense, too mundane, or surface-level
You feel emotionally disconnected or distant from your partner
Small issues seem to always escalate into big fights
One or both of you feel unseen, unheard, or misunderstood
Physical intimacy or affection has reduced or feels like a chore
You’re constantly walking on eggshells to keep the peace
Life transitions (eg parenthood, moving places, career transitions) are putting strain on your bond

Even if your relationship isn’t ‘on the rocks,’ these subtle signs are your signal that marriage counselling can help a lot. Marriage counselling offers many benefits for couples who aren’t facing active issues as well. Seeking help proactively or early is always a wise choice!

3) We’re not sure when to seek marriage counselling – what’s the right time to start?

Many couples wait until things feel unbearable before reaching out, but counselling isn’t just for crisis moments. In fact, it works all the better when started early.

The best time to start is when you notice patterns that feel unhealthy, or you find yourselves stuck in the same arguments without resolution. Couples who start therapy early often recover from issues more quickly, feel more connected, and experience longer-lasting results.

Also, it’s important to remember that you don’t need to have a ‘problem’ or face any of the discussed signs in order to explore marriage counselling. Many couples engage in counselling to simply deepen their bond!

Key Takeaways

Marriage may not always be a joyride, but it’s the ups and downs that make life that much special.

Your spouse is your life partner – someone to face life’s challenges with, side-by-side. Once in a while, you may find yourself fighting each other instead of or in addition to life’s challenges. And that’s perfectly normal!

However, if you consistently feel like something is not right or if you simply want to connect more deeply with your partner, you can explore marriage counselling in Australia.

So, can marriage counselling save relationships? The short answer is yes – with consistent effort and openness from you and your partner.

When you feel ready, click here to browse professional marriage counsellors at Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO) – they’re here to guide you on this journey towards stronger love, connection and fulfilment. 💜

Navigating New Relationships with Couples Therapy

Posted on June 30, 2025June 30, 2025 by Prath

Starting a new relationship is one of the most exciting phases of life. You’re in the honeymoon period, head over heels in love, and trying all new things with your partner.

But let’s be honest: The relationship can also be confusing, nerve-wrecking, and most times, you may not know what to do or how to approach a conflict.

These conflicts can occur regardless of the type of relationship you’re in (eg long-distance, newly married, or just moved in together).

This is where couples therapy can be particularly helpful. Couples therapy is for every couple who may wish to build a strong foundation, address issues that may blow up, and learn to communicate effectively from the very beginning.

In this blog, we’ll take you through what therapy for new couples involves, reasons to start couples therapy, and address some frequently asked questions about the process.

Starting Therapy As a Couple: How It Works

If you’re starting therapy as a couple, you may wonder what exactly happens in couples therapy.

When a new couple begins relationship therapy, the goal isn’t to ‘fix’ each other. You may learn that rather than trying to change oneself, the goal of therapy is to focus on changing the relationship (ie laying the groundwork).

The couples therapist may start sessions by getting to know your:

Communication style
Values
Relationship goals
Therapy expectations
Past relationship experiences.

These details help identify areas where you might complement or challenge each other.

The sessions are collaborative and structured around open dialogue. The therapist might guide you through exercises that highlight patterns in your interactions or help you both better understand your emotional triggers.

For example, perhaps you tend to shout or become loud during conflicts, while your partner tends to shut down and avoid communication. Exploring these habits and coping mechanisms can help prevent resentment in the future.

Couples Therapy Myth: ‘Couples Counselling is New and Just a Fad’

Couples counselling dates back to the 1920s and 1930s, so it is not new, nor is it a fad.

The purpose of any type of counselling is ultimately to help individuals create sustainable change.

In fact, research also shows that nearly 70-90% of couples benefit significantly from therapy. During sessions, you and your partner may learn scientific tools to:

Improve communication skills
Resolve arguments and conflicts in a healthy way
Understand each other better
Develop your emotional and physical intimacy

The tools you learn during couples therapy are transferred to you via great care and intend to make you self-reliant and capable of handling any future issues.

You may typically have to attend 12-14 weekly sessions to see real and lasting changes in yourself and your relationships. The duration and intensity of couples therapy also make for solid proof that it cannot be a fad.

Reasons to Start Couples Therapy

You might be thinking, ‘Do we really need couples therapy if we’re not fighting all the time?’

That’s a great question. Therapy for new couples is not only about resolving issues, but also about preventive care and growth.

During therapy, you may better understand each other, set expectations for the relationship, and learn scientific tools to handle conflicts.

Here are two signs that it might be worth exploring couples therapy sooner rather than later.

1) You Notice Controlling Behaviours

Control in a new relationship can creep in quietly and without your notice. If you’re stuck with a partner who is controlling, it can be hard to identify the signs.

For example, let’s assume you plan to go out with your friends on a trip this weekend.

You’ve booked the tickets and the rooms in advance and have also let your partner know where you will be going. However, at the last minute, your partner may say something like, ‘I’ll be so sad without you. Why are you leaving me alone?’ or ‘Can you skip this once and hang out later? I really need you here.’

Initially, these dialogues can sound romantic or perhaps even caring. However, as this continues to happen, you may feel uncomfortable and restricted.

How couples therapy helps

In couples therapy, your counsellor will help you:

Identify signs of control or narcissism and help you differentiate them from care and love

Recognise unhealthy patterns of interaction

Rebuild mutual trust, respect, and freedom in the relationship

Set boundaries that you can build and maintain

Small exercise to identify controlling behaviours

Ask yourself some simple questions:

Do I feel free to make my own choices in the relationship?

Who makes the end decisions in all aspects of my life?

How do I feel when I inform my partner?

If your answers to the above questions feel complicated or if you’re unable to come up with a straightforward response, couples therapy can help you navigate this relationship.

2) You’re Struggling to Navigate Life Changes

If you’re in a new relationship, you may struggle to navigate changes such as:

Moving in with your partner
Building a relationship with your partner’s friends
Understanding and navigating the differences in cultures and rituals
Managing a long-distance relationship
Adjusting to demanding work schedules

The above changes are not exclusive. Sometimes, simply being in a romantic relationship can be challenging for some people. These changes can also cause unexpected stress.

During couples therapy, you can explore:

Relationship expectations
Social, emotional, romantic, and sexual needs
Emotional and physical boundaries as an individual and as a couple
Strengths and weaknesses in a relationship

Relationship therapy is a proactive way to ensure you’re on the same page as your relationship evolves.

Couples therapy exercise: ‘Our Change Map’

This exercise helps you prepare for big life changes (like moving in together, starting new jobs, or handling long-distance relationships).

Time required: 45 minutes
What you need: Paper, pens, and a calm environment

Step 1: Identify the Change (5–10 minutes)

Write down what life change you’re currently navigating. For example, ‘I’m starting a new role next month that might require late hours’ or ‘We’re planning to move to a new city.’

Then, take turns with your partner to share your reflections.

Step 2: Talk Through Emotions (10 minutes)

Now, think about the emotions. How do you feel about this change? Use ‘I feel…’ statements. For example, ‘I feel excited about the move, but also scared we’ll drift apart if we don’t make time for each other.’

Listen without interrupting, and then swap roles.

Step 3: Map the Impacts (10 minutes)

Together, draw a simple chart or mind map. Put the change in the centre and branch out to areas it may affect (eg communication, time spent together, finances, roles/responsibilities, mental/emotional load).

Circle any areas where you both feel uncertain or uneasy.

Step 4: Make a Plan (10 minutes)

Brainstorm realistic ways you can support each other through this change. For example, ‘Let’s set aside 30 minutes each Sunday to check in’ or ‘We’ll both get alone time, especially when things feel intense.’

Step 5: Schedule a Follow-Up (2–5 minutes)

Pick a date 2–3 weeks later to revisit how you’re both feeling. Continue to adjust or update the plan as your life and goals evolve.

Frequently Asked Questions

1) What is realistic in a relationship?

On the one hand, being realistic in a relationship means having clear and honest expectations about each other.

For example, it’s fair to expect things like trust, respect, and open communication. It also means talking about boundaries early on, like what you’re okay with, what you’re not okay with, and what counts as a dealbreaker.

You might ask each other:

What does cheating mean to you?

Are there behaviours you feel are totally off-limits?

What do you need to feel safe and respected in this relationship?

These kinds of conversations help build a realistic expectation.

On the other hand, some expectations can be a bit unrealistic. For instance, expecting your partner to magically know what you need without you saying anything (ie mind reading). Or thinking that they should always agree with you or see the world the same way.

2) What are some red flags in a relationship?

A sign that a relationship may be unhealthy is when couples experience a power imbalance.

For example, one person may usually comply with the orders of their partner (eg ‘Don’t leave the house after 6pm) out of fear of the consequences. Similarly, controlling behaviour can also indicate a red flag in a relationship. Some other examples include:

Criticism or letting down a partner
Avoiding someone or not showing affection as a punishment
Jealousy
Avoiding difficult conversations
A lack of accountability

Identifying red flags early can help you decide what to address, what to accept, and what might be a dealbreaker. Couples therapy can help unpack these red flags safely.

3) What makes a couple strong? What are the 5 most important things in a relationship?

Strong couples usually have a few key things in place:

Trust
Communication
Respect
Emotional Support
Shared Values

You don’t have to be perfectly aligned, but knowing where you differ (and how to manage it) is key. Relationship therapy gives you the tools to do just that.

4) What issues are addressed during relationship therapy?

Couples therapists can help you manage many issues. Some include:

Conflicts or arguments
Disagreements in financial matters
Struggling to navigate different sexual needs
Lack of boundaries
Anger issues
Common mental health issues that may affect the relationship
Personal or work-related stress

No issue is too small or too big. Even ‘we argue about what to eat for dinner’ can reveal deeper issues, like decision fatigue or imbalance in emotional labour.

Conclusion

Therapy for new couples can help you:

Understand each other’s emotional triggers
Resolve conflicts
Better adjust to each other’s lives
Build a happy relationship

Investing time and energy early in your relationship can be a great way to prevent future issues.

If you’re curious about couples therapy, book a session with our expert couples Therapists in Australia.

How Online Counselling Works (and What First-Time Users Should Know)

Posted on June 30, 2025June 30, 2025 by Prath

Seeking online counselling might be an option for you if you have a perpetual fear of everyone and everything.

Do you feel judged by other people, even when they’re not paying attention to you? Or do you find yourself more concerned about the future, living each day with dread and panic?

People with anxiety disorders may especially benefit from online therapy, as they can confront their issues in an environment where they feel most at ease.

However, anyone struggling to cope with daily stressors, experiencing conflicts in relationships, or dealing with work-related stress may benefit from talking to a counsellor.

This article discusses how online counselling works, first-time counselling tips and addresses some commonly asked questions about starting therapy.

What is Online Counselling?

Online counselling or therapy is a type of psychotherapy where you may talk to a mental health professional via video or audio calls.

Research shows that online counselling is just as effective as in-person counselling.

The biggest benefit of online counselling is the option to attend sessions from anywhere in the world. For example, if you have a busy work schedule, you may not need to wait until you get home to schedule your session.

Find a private space in your office or go to the nearest cafe or library to attend the online session. The prerequisites are a stable internet connection and a device.

What Online Counselling Can Help With

People may seek online counselling for several reasons. While some may seek support to navigate day-to-day stressors, others may seek help to manage mental health issues like anxiety or depression.

The reasons for seeking help do not have to fit a particular criterion or checklist. As long as you wish to improve your life and well-being, online counselling can help.

Some common issues addressed during online counselling are:
Generalised anxiety disorder (GAD)
Social anxiety disorder (SAD)

Traumatic stress (PTSD)

Depression or mood disorders

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)

Borderline personality disorder (BPD)

Bipolar disorder

Attention deficit disorder (ADHD)

Addictions

Eating disorders

Phobias

Other than the disorders, online counselling can also help with daily stressors like:

General or work-related stress

Fear, anxiety and panic

Feelings of sadness

Overthinking and emotional overwhelm

Intrusive thoughts

Relationship issues

Low self-esteem and confidence

Periods of change and uncertainty

Struggles with identity and purpose

How the Online Therapy Process Works

1) The Beginning Stage

When online counselling first starts, the professional may do the important preparatory work.

Preparation could involve building rapport, getting to know each other, and the online therapist briefing their clients about their working style and approach. Think of it as an orientation.

Tip: During this stage, try to be as open and honest as possible about your presenting problems, feedback on the therapeutic style, and your therapy goals.

Your therapist in Australia will not judge you and may proceed with the therapeutic plan only when both of you are aligned.

If you struggle to ask for what you want, remember that talking to an online therapist is beneficial because you can manage the jitters much more efficiently than when you meet them face-to-face.

2) The Middle Stage

After the ‘orientation’, the therapy work begins.

The online therapy process involves addressing issues, processing thoughts, managing bodily reactions, and learning to be proactive and solution-focused.

The real emotional work happens in the middle stage, but do not forget that the beginning stage is just as important. Only after the preparatory work can you truly focus on being open in therapy.

Tip: You may need to discuss and choose the type of therapeutic tools that are most effective for you and that interest you personally.

Do you like art? Are you more interested in introspection through journaling? Do you meditate every day? Talk about your interests in-depth and explain why you like them. Your insight helps the therapist create practical tools—like mindfulness exercises or thought diaries—to align you with your online therapy goals.

3) The Final Stage

In the final stage, you may talk to the therapist about continuing life without or after therapy. This is when the termination work happens.

Note: Even if you’ve found a solution or overcome your presenting problems, you can still continue online counselling in Australia by reducing the frequency of your sessions and addressing other aspects of life, such as self-care, community-building, or goal-setting.

Tip: This stage usually occurs after 20-30 sessions and only if you wish to stop online counselling. At this time, reflect on how you’ve changed and talk to the therapist about equipping yourself with tools to handle the recurrence of symptoms in the future.

For Anyone Anxious About That First Therapy Call

Call anxiety is the fear of making or attending phone calls. Although online counselling may be better for people with anxiety issues, attending a session can be just as overwhelming.

However, the good news is that there are several coping techniques you can use to overcome call anxiety. One such tool is the ABCDE Model.

The model is a reflective framework that helps you swap irrational beliefs with rational ones. Try to fill in the sections with your own worries.

A (Adversity) – I can’t talk to a therapist online.

B (Irrational belief) – I’m not capable. I can’t do anything right.

C (Consequence) – I give up on seeking mental health support.

D (Dispute the irrationality) – I have successfully made phone calls before. I deserve high-quality support, and therapists are mental health professionals who are understanding of my problems.

E (Effect of the rational belief) – I attend my first online therapy session and work with my online therapist to talk about my anxiety. I will learn important therapeutic skills that will reduce my anxiety symptoms significantly.

3 First-Time Counselling Tips

Start online therapy with TYHO from the comfort of your own home. Our internal research shows that it takes less than a minute to book a session on our platform!

The following sections detail the first-time counselling tips to help you get started on the healing journey.

1) Note Down Your Goals for Therapy

Writing your therapy goals can help you come prepared for the first therapy session.

Take some time out during the weekend and write down bullet points of issues or topics you’d like to cover during therapy. Try to be as detailed as possible.

Write down the major goal (eg relationships), specific aspects of the goal (eg improve communication or reduce arguments), and your past experiences with the issue.

Doing this will help you go into your first online counselling session with confidence.

2) Choose a Private Place

Most people join their online sessions from home, but you can choose any quiet place with a good internet connection and enough privacy.

It could be your room, your car, or even a quiet spot in a co-working space.

Try to pick a place where you won’t be interrupted, somewhere you can talk freely without worrying about someone overhearing. You’ll probably feel more comfortable opening up if you’re in a space that feels safe and familiar.

3) Approach Your First Session With an Open Mind

Approach your first few online sessions, especially your very first one, with an open mind.

During your initial sessions, your therapist may mainly focus on building rapport and getting to know you, setting therapy expectations, and building a roadmap to achieve your goals.

Keep in mind that building a trusting therapeutic relationship takes time and effort. Give it some time, but remember – you can always change your therapist if you want to.

Frequently Asked Questions

1) How is online counselling different from other mediums?

Online counselling in Australia is similar to in-person therapy in many ways. For example, the session begins with a check-in and later branches out to address specific issues the client may be facing.

However, the difference in mediums depends on the client’s reaction.

If you’re wondering this question yourself, think about this:

Do you feel most vulnerable and honest over a computer, where you can see the therapist, but something makes you feel more comfortable about not existing in the same physical space as them?

If yes, then great! The therapist can help you work on your personal development through the online therapy process.

The difference is that in-person therapy may not have the same impact on you, as you may feel more vulnerable talking through the screen.

Now, think about this:

Do you need that emotional and personal connection that comes with talking to a therapist face-to-face?

If yes, then also great! However, the difference here is the fact that online counselling may make you feel like you don’t share an emotional bond with your therapist, and in-person sessions may work better for you.

2) How to find the right therapist in Australia?

To find the right therapist in Australia, ask yourself some questions to narrow down your goals and expectations.

Some questions include:

Why do you need online counselling?
What are your short-term and long-term counselling goals?
What issues do you want to address during therapy?
Does the therapist specialise in your issues?
What approaches does the therapist use?
Does the therapist have relevant qualifications and professional experience?
What modes of sessions does the therapist offer?
How much does the therapist charge?

If you’ve found the right Therapist at TYHO, book an online counselling session here.

3) What are the benefits of online counselling?

Accessibility for Everyone

Online counselling in Australia can be helpful for people who are disabled or unable to leave their household.

While awareness and high-quality support are key aspects of making mental health support accessible, mobility is still a significant barrier for many who are unable to physically meet with a therapist. On a broader scale, sometimes, those with chronic issues or mental illness may also find it hard to step out of the house.

Another example is people living in rural areas or those who cannot find any professional within a reasonable travel distance. Hence, traditional therapy can be restrictive for a select group of people.

Cost-Effectiveness & Convenience

As we’ve already discussed, online counselling is very convenient in that you can book sessions from anywhere with an internet connection.

Along with this, we automatically benefit from another key aspect: cost-effectiveness.

Online therapists in Australia who provide therapy over the phone may have fewer overhead costs (eg renting a private space).

At TYHO, we also offer discounts if you order session packages! So, not only can you save costs on therapy sessions, but you can also avoid other personal expenses related to travel or stacking up on food for an in-person visit.

In fact, recent research in Australia shows that online therapy was cost-saving compared to traditional care in almost 53% of cost-minimalisation studies.

Diverse Choice of Therapists

Recent research shows that distance to services is a common barrier to in-person therapy.

However, online counselling solves this issue for many people by providing a diverse choice of mental health therapists.

More choice = More chance to find the right online therapist

At TYHO, you can filter Therapists by:

Issues
Specialisations
Gender
Language
Service Type

The variety of filters, in addition to the Therapist’s introductory videos and comprehensive profile, can help you find someone who truly understands you.

Conclusion

Online counselling can help you achieve your goals no matter where you are.

The online therapy process involves rapport-building, doing therapy work, and termination. Some tips to get started with therapy for beginners include:

Noting down your goals
Choosing a safe and private space with a secure internet connection
Creating and asking important questions to the therapist
Approaching each session with an open mind

The benefits of online therapy include accessibility, cost-effectiveness, and a diverse range of professionals to choose from.

At TYHO, you can find a mental health professional uniquely experienced in the specific issues you may be facing. Help is just one click away. You are not alone. 💜

Opening Up to a Mental Health Professional When You’re New to Therapy

Posted on June 30, 2025 by Prath

Imagine seeing a mental health professional for the first time.

Are you thinking of someone in a suit, looking stern, and writing down every single thing you talk about? A professional is unlike anything represented in the media.

In reality, most therapists are warm and friendly. They’re not here to judge you from behind a clipboard. But the idea of talking to a therapist for the first time can feel scary.

And in addition, when you think of professionals as strangers, you may struggle to open up and experience the life-changing benefits of therapy for yourself.

Your hesitation is understandable. However, growth, inside and outside sessions, can happen only if you let yourself be seen, little by little.

Hence, in this blog, we’ll explore why it’s sometimes hard to open up and provide practical tips to help you feel more comfortable with your therapist.

Why You May Struggle to Open Up to a Mental Health Professional

In the first therapy session, many people may struggle to express all their emotions.

For example, you may feel distant from your inner experiences, either due to talking to a mental health professional or due to less obvious reasons like wondering if you’re even allowed to talk about certain topics.

Below are three common reasons why you may struggle to open up to a mental health professional.

1) Fearing the Consequences of Negative Emotions

The first reason you may hold back from opening up is the fear of what could happen if you talk about important feelings.

Avoiding your emotions could be a habitual tendency. For example, you may have previously opened up about feeling anxious at work. During that time, your friend may have invalidated you and asked you to ‘stop complaining about everything.’

The negative incident has been wired in your brain as the ultimate truth. Your experience is telling you that the consequences are dire every time you talk about your negative emotions.

Another reason could be the fear of psychological pain. For example, acknowledging intense emotions to a mental health professional may make you feel embarrassed, ashamed, or helpless.

2) Struggling to Verbalise Inner Processes During the First Therapy Session

One of the most common challenges during mental health support in Australia is simply figuring out what to say.

When your therapist asks something like, ‘How are you feeling right now?’ or ‘Where do you feel that in your body?’, you may freeze. For many people, such questions can be confusing, especially if you’ve never analysed your emotions before.

If you’ve spent most of your life ignoring your emotions, trying to articulate them to a mental health professional may feel like learning a new language.

You might find yourself second-guessing everything: ‘Am I saying the right thing?’, ‘What do they want me to say?’ or ‘Why don’t I feel anything right now? These thoughts can make you feel inadequate, not because something is wrong with you, but simply because you’re yet to learn how to verbalise your inner processes.

3) Feeling Disloyal to Loved Ones

Some people hesitate to speak honestly in therapy because they fear it’s disloyal to their loved ones.

If you grew up in a household where you were told to ‘keep things to yourself,’ the idea of sharing personal stories with a therapist might feel like a betrayal.

You might catch yourself spending more time explaining your family’s behaviour or adding context like, ‘But they meant well,’ or ‘They are also struggling with many issues.

You may feel the need to ‘protect’ your loved ones simply because you don’t want the mental health professional to get the ‘wrong idea’ about the people in your life.

4 Tips To Open up to a Mental Health Professional

It’s hard to get much done in therapy without talking about yourself. Yet, one of the most challenging aspects of the first therapy session is initiating a conversation.

Here are some tips to make the process easier:

Start a Journal
Practice, Practice, and More Practice
Start Small
Challenge Yourself

1) Start a Journal

Starting a journal is the simplest way to feel liberated and constructive during the first therapy session.

Like fitness, journaling and mindfulness also require consistent effort and commitment. In fact, in the past 30 years, scientists have discovered the benefits of putting pen to paper with your most intense and deepest thoughts and feelings.

In a 2006 study, young adults who spent only 15 minutes journaling felt less anxious and were better able to express their emotions. Most of the participants were not even used to journaling before the research opportunity presented itself.

When you journal, you’re literally training your brain to name and understand emotions, a process called affect labelling. This method helps you label your emotions.

How to Practise This

Take out 5-10 minutes of your time daily to write about anything that’s on your mind. Don’t restrict yourself to major events or emotions.

Below are some prompts that can help:

What made me feel uncomfortable today?
What do I wish I could say out loud but haven’t?
If I could say one thing to my therapist without fear, what would it be?

Before you wonder how to start therapy, try to read through your journal and highlight 1–2 key points you’d like to begin with. Then, find a mental health professional at TYHO, and address each of these points in the first therapy session.

2) Practice, Practice, and More Practice

Remember how you struggled to draw a straight line when you were young? But now, you can draw it much better than before. This is due to practice.

Similarly, opening up to a mental health professional can also be learned with practice. Neuroscience shows that repetition or consistency creates neural pathways to maintain new behaviours (like being emotionally expressive), and these behaviours start to feel more natural over time.

Each time you express an emotion or practice the skill of opening up, you’re building that mental ‘muscle’ to do better next time.

How to Practise This

Try speaking aloud to yourself in private. For example:

‘Today I felt anxious when…’

‘I think I’m scared because…’

If you don’t have privacy, try to record a voice note to yourself about your day. You can also talk about a specific emotion you felt today, and dissect it as much as possible.

For example, imagine you fought with your mother. You walk away from her and find some space alone. You’re not even sure what emotions you’re feeling or why the fight happened in the first place.

Was it anger? Hurt? Guilt? Or all of the above? Identifying these emotions may help you open up to your mental health professional, who will then explore what triggered your emotional and behavioural reactions.

3) Start Small

You don’t have to open up about your deepest trauma in the very first therapy session. In fact, you don’t even need to talk about it in the second or third session.

The idea of seeking mental health support in Australia is to learn scientific tools to become resilient, better equipped to handle future issues, and navigate relationship conflicts in a healthy way. However, the means and methods to reach this goal can vary for different individuals.

While some people may feel comfortable opening up in the first therapy sessions, others may take their own time to explore deeper issues.

If you relate to the latter (ie need more time), start small. Talking about relatively smaller issues can help regulate your window of tolerance (ie a concept from trauma therapy that refers to the optimal emotional zone where you can function and reflect without feeling overwhelmed).

By starting small and adjusting the pace to suit your needs, you allow your nervous system to relax and remain regulated.

How to Practise This

Begin with neutral or lower-stakes topics, like:
- ‘I was nervous about coming today.’
- ‘I’ve never done this before, and I’m not sure what to expect.’
Share a recent, small frustration (eg an argument at work) to get used to expressing emotions.

End the session by reflecting: What was easy to share? What was hard? This provides your therapist with insight and helps you build your emotional range over time.

4) Challenge Yourself (Gently)

Opening up to a mental health professional may require you to be honest, vulnerable and put yourself in an unfamiliar state.

But sometimes, the only way forward is to gently challenge yourself. Therapy is hard work, and there’s no getting around experiencing its benefits.

This doesn’t mean forcing yourself to share everything all at once. Rather, it’s about opening yourself up to the possibility of exploring emotions and thoughts that you may have previously buried deep in your mind.

But in doing so, your mental health professional may also teach you that being vulnerable is okay. Therapists refer to this process as exposure-based emotional processing.

Challenging yourself is powerful because it interrupts avoidance. And avoidance, while comforting in the short term, is often what keeps people stuck in long-term distress.

How to Practise This

Here are some easy ways to challenge yourself to open up during the first therapy session:

Label your hesitations out loud before opening up to your mental health professional. Try saying, ‘There’s something I want to talk about, but I’m scared you’ll judge me.’
Set a ‘stretch goal’ for each therapy session. A stretch goal is something that feels slightly outside your comfort zone but not overwhelming. For example, you can try talking about something you usually avoid (like sex or money), share a memory that makes you feel emotional, or label a difficult feeling instead of just saying ‘I feel weird’.
When you’re unsure how to begin the conversation, try rehearsing ahead of time. Before talking to a mental health professional, write down sentences like, ‘I wasn’t planning to talk about this, but I think I should,’ or ‘This is something I’ve never said out loud before…’
Reflect on your first therapy session. What was the session like? What did you talk about? What issues did you want to bring up, but couldn’t due to the fear of opening up? Writing down your thoughts and reflections can help you better express your emotions in the next therapy session.

Key Takeaways

It’s perfectly normal to struggle with opening up to a mental health professional, especially during your first therapy session.
There are many reasons people hold back, including fear of judgment, struggling to verbalise their emotions, and the fear of betraying their loved ones by talking about them.
Practical steps, such as journaling, starting small, or even challenging yourself to open up step by step, can make the entire process a little easier.

If you’re spending your time searching for ‘therapists near me’ or looking for mental health support in Australia, we can help.

At Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO), all Australian Therapists have the right qualifications and soft skills to conduct high-quality therapy.

The hardest part is often just getting started. But once you do, there’s no stopping you from experiencing the true benefits of therapy.

Find a Therapist near you.

How Couples Counselling Helps Resolve Common Relationship Conflicts

Posted on June 25, 2025 by Manassa Shrikanth

Conflict in relationships isn’t a red flag – it’s human. In fact, it’s a natural part of any healthy relationship!

But when those conflicts become patterns that keep repeating, it can leave even the strongest couples feeling distant, frustrated, or disconnected. That’s where couples counselling comes in.

Across Australia, many couples are seeking counselling – not because they’re failing, but because they care enough to work through issues proactively and grow together.

In this blog, we discuss common relationship conflicts you can explore in counselling and five ways in which couples counselling helps you build a conflict resolution skillset.

This Article Contains:

5 Common Relationship Conflicts Addressed During Couples Counselling in Australia

Every relationship has its challenges. However, if the same issues keep showing up, it can be a sign that something below the surface needs to be addressed.

Recurrent and unaddressed conflicts are a common reason why relationships struggle. The good news is that couples counselling can help you with just that!

Here are five of the most common relationship conflicts couples bring to counselling, and how therapy helps address them:

1) Being Stuck in the Same Argument Loops

Do you find you and your partner fighting about the same issue over and over, without ever reaching a real resolution?

These recurring arguments can often stem from unmet emotional needs, miscommunication, or other deeper, unvoiced concerns.

Couples counselling helps you identify the patterns underlying the conflict and teaches you new ways to communicate, so that you can move from fighting each other to fighting for the relationship.

Here’s How Therapy Helps

Priya and Jene are a couple from Melbourne. Every time they discuss visiting their families, it ends in some variation of the same argument.

Priya feels like Jene avoids visiting her side of the family, while Jene feels overwhelmed by the expectations to see them, even though she isn’t comfortable doing so.

Through couples counselling in Australia, they realise how the unspoken expectations feel unfair to Jene and why exactly she is uncomfortable visiting Priya’s parents.

With the help of a couples counsellor, they learn to voice their needs without shame, guilt, anger or blame. Slowly, Priya develops empathy for Jene’s perspective while Jene starts providing the emotional reassurance that Priya needs.

2) Struggling to Move Past Hurt from the Past

Whether it’s unresolved betrayals, past relationships, or unfinished arguments, emotional wounds can quietly linger, build up and affect relationships over time.

In couples counselling, a trained counsellor guides you through acknowledging, processing and understanding these wounds and the feelings they bring up. Slowly, you can work through past issues and rebuild trust.

3) Feeling Like You’re the Only One Making an Effort

When one partner feels like they’re carrying the emotional (or practical) weight of the relationship, they may start feeling let down, undervalued and unseen. These feelings, in turn, can lead to burnout and resentment.

Couples counselling can help you and your partner uncover any underlying imbalances, explore and understand each other’s needs, and re-establish shared responsibility.

4) Disagreeing Over Finances, Responsibilities & Future Planning

Money, chores, career moves – these aren’t just logistics, they’re shared decisions and responsibilities. Hiding behind them is a mix of values, priorities, and expectations (said and unsaid).

Disagreements in these areas are some of the top causes of relationship conflict and stress. Couples counselling can help you address these in a neutral space and reach a middle ground.

In addition to that, couples therapy also equips you with tools and skills to handle future conflicts effectively and with empathy.

5) Dealing with Clashing Values, Beliefs or Parenting Styles

No two people are completely alike, but at the same time, differences in core values, beliefs or parenting approaches can be hard to navigate.

You can explore conflicts arising from such differences in couples counselling. A counsellor in Australia can help you examine these differences with curiosity rather than judgment, building mutual understanding and respect.

Over the course of counselling sessions, you can clearly understand your negotiables and non-negotiables and find middle ground for the latter.

5 Ways Couples Counselling Helps with Conflict Resolution in Relationships

When approached with the right support and armed with the right tools, conflict can be an opportunity for growth and deeper connection.

Research indicates that the way conflict is handled is directly linked to marital and relationship satisfaction among couples in Australia.

Below are some ways in which couples counselling helps with conflict resolution in relationships:

1) Improves Communication in Relationships

Many relationship problems aren’t caused by what’s being said, but by how it’s being said (or not said at all).

Couples counselling teaches you how to listen without defensiveness, express yourself honestly, and communicate in ways that foster trust rather than tension.

2) Teaches Practical Tools, Techniques & Skills

Couples counselling can teach you and your partner various tools, techniques and skills such as:

Emotional regulation: Recognising and managing your emotions and responding instead of immediately reacting.
‘I’ statements: Expressing how you feel without blaming or judging your partner.
Active listening: Learning to truly listen without interrupting, judging or getting defensive.
Time-outs and de-escalation strategies: Understanding when and how to pause before an argument starts spiralling out of control.
Conflict mapping: Uncovering the deeper emotional layers that underlie recurring conflict patterns.
Problem-solving frameworks: Structured strategies to discuss and agree on next steps after a disagreement.
Post-conflict check-ins: Revisiting disagreements after emotions have settled to objectively reflect on how you handled them.
Setting and respecting boundaries: Understanding and communicating what’s okay and what’s not.

Studies show that even a five-second time-out can help diffuse a heated argument!

Here’s How Therapy Helps

Sam and Jordan come to couples counselling with one major issue: their arguments always escalate. What begins as a simple disagreement quickly turns into a shouting match, leaving them both feeling exhausted, unheard and angry.

Through couples counselling in Australia, they learn to spot the warning signs of escalation early and use tools like time-outs and ‘I’ statements to de-escalate.

After a few weeks of practice, they start handling disagreements with mutual respect and empathy.

3) Builds Empathy and Understanding

When you’re in the middle of a conflict, it’s easy to get carried away and view your partner as the ‘problem’.

Couples counselling can help shift the perspective away from blame, shame and judgment and instead encourage empathy and mutual understanding.

Over the course of couples counselling in Australia, you can learn to step into your partner’s shoes and understand where they’re coming from.

Empathy lays the foundation for a relationship that’s built on trust, respect and connection.

4) Creates a Safe Space to Work Through Tough Topics

Let’s face it – some heavy topics can be hard to discuss, especially when you know they’re bound to get heated.

In couples counselling, a trained therapist guides your conversations, ensuring both you and your partner feel heard and supported. They create a safe, non-judgmental space where even the most difficult topics can be gradually explored.

5) Strengthens Emotional Connection and Encourages Teamwork

Conflict can leave you feeling like you and your partner are on opposing sides.

Through couples counselling, you can distance yourself from the situation, remember why you chose each other, reconnect emotionally, and learn to approach problems as a team, not as opponents.

Slowly, you’ll work towards finding solutions and not ‘winning’ the argument. That sense of ‘we’re in this together’ can often make all the difference!

90% of couples say couples therapy improved their relationship

Therapy for Couples Vs Marriage Therapy: Which One is Right for You?

Let’s clear up this common confusion that many people have: How are marriage therapy and therapy for couples different from each other?

Couples counselling is a broad type of counselling that’s open to all types of couples, such as:

Couples in a new relationship (casually dating or more serious)
Couples looking to enter a relationship
Couples in a long-term relationship
Couples planning to move in together
Couples planning to have children
Couples planning to get married
Couples who are engaged and getting ready for marriage
Couples who are newly married
Couples who have been married for a long time
Couples navigating divorce or separation

Thus, the only requirement for couples counselling is that the individuals engaging are in a relationship (which can be of their own definition).

Marriage therapy, on the other hand, is a subset of therapy for couples which caters to married couples in particular. Marriage therapists are generally couples counsellors who specialise in marriage therapy.

Often, it’s merely a semantic difference. If you’re a married couple looking for a therapist who specialises in marriage therapy, you can opt for the same. However, any type of couple can choose to engage in couples therapy.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1) How many sessions of couples counselling will we need?

Just like all types of therapy, there’s no set timeline for couples counselling. On average, most couples engage in four to eight sessions. However, the exact number of sessions may differ from couple to couple.

While some couples may need only a handful of sessions, others may require a few months to explore deep issues.

Your couples counsellor will work alongside you to create a therapeutic plan, laying out your goals as a couple and the number of sessions you’ll need to achieve them.

2) Does couples counselling improve relationship communication?

Yes! Couples counselling can improve communication in relationships. A professional counsellor can teach you various practical tools and techniques to communicate better, such as:

‘I’ statements
Time-outs and breaks
Active listening

3) Is online couples counselling in Australia effective?

Online couples counselling in Australia is as effective as in-person couples counselling. In fact, online couples counselling can be an ideal choice for partners who don’t live together.

4) Is couples counselling only for married couples?

Although this is a common misconception, couples counselling is for all couples – those who have just started dating, those in long-term relationships, engaged couples, as well as married couples.

Premarital counselling and marriage therapy are simply types of therapy for couples that are tailored for engaged couples and married couples, respectively.

5) Can couples counselling really help if we’ve been arguing for years?

Yes – although it’d be much easier to prevent conflicts or nip them in the bud proactively, couples counselling can help you unpack years of disagreements as well.

It might take a little longer, but with consistent effort and regular sessions, you’ll be on your way to understanding the roots of your arguments and learning healthy conflict resolution techniques.

Key Takeaways

Through couples counselling in Australia, you can learn actionable strategies, understand each other’s love languages, and deepen your relationship.

Here are some key takeaways on how couples counselling helps resolve common relationship conflicts:

It improves communication in relationships
It teaches you practical tools, techniques and skills
It helps foster empathy and mutual understanding
It offers a safe space to broach difficult topics
It deepens your emotional bond and encourages teamwork

If you and your partner are navigating conflicts and would like to explore couples counselling, click here to browse accredited couples Therapists at TYHO.

Couples therapy can be a powerful tool in strengthening your relationship – get started today!

Signs of a Good Therapist in Singapore and How to Spot Red Flags

Posted on June 6, 2025June 6, 2025 by Manassa Shrikanth

Choosing a therapist in Singapore can sometimes be a challenging task. With so many titles, qualifications, types and approaches out there, how do you actually know who’s right for you?

Remember, therapy is deeply personal. And while credentials matter, what matters just as much, if not more, is how your therapist makes you feel: Safe? Seen? Heard?

In this blog, we’ll explore six green flags every good therapist in Singapore has, followed by six red flags that might mean it’s time to walk away.

This Article Contains:

6 Green Flags: Signs of a Good Therapist in Singapore

If it’s your first time trying therapy, you may be wondering how to know if your therapist is the right fit. It’s perfectly normal to be unsure about which signs are green flags and which are not.

The following sections take you through some common positive signs to look for when choosing a therapist in Singapore:

1) They Make You Feel Safe, Heard, and Not Judged

A skilled therapist in Singapore knows that emotional safety is the foundation of therapy.

Right from the very first session, they’ll work to make you comfortable expressing even your most difficult thoughts without fear of being criticised, dismissed, or ‘diagnosed’ on the spot.

They’ll listen attentively, hold space for your feelings, and help you process your experiences without rushing or pressuring you.

Try this

In early sessions, notice how your body feels during and after therapy. Do you feel lighter? Calmer? That sense of safety is a strong green flag.

2) They Maintain Professional Boundaries at All Times

Boundaries protect both you and the therapeutic process.

A responsible therapist in Singapore maintains clarity around session timings, confidentiality, the therapeutic process and the client-therapist relationship.

They don’t blur lines by oversharing personal stories, giving out personal contact details unnecessarily, or creating dependency.

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If you’re unsure about something (like contact between sessions), it’s always okay to ask. A respectful response is a green flag in itself.

3) They Listen More Than They Speak

Your therapist in Singapore should put you at the centre of therapy, ensuring that the therapeutic process runs around you, your goals and your needs.

They give you the time and space to express, reflect, process and respond, without ever rushing to advise or interrupt with their thoughts. Their presence feels calm and guiding, not overbearing, performative or overtly chatty.

Professional therapists listen actively, provide actionable insights and slowly nudge you towards your goals.

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Does your therapist recollect things you’ve shared in previous sessions? That’s a sign of active listening and one of the key traits of any good therapist in Singapore.

4) They Personalise Therapy to Fit You, Not the Other Way Around

Everyone’s mental health journey is different. We have unique experiences, lifestyles, challenges and goals. It’s precisely due to this reason that therapy doesn’t follow a template; it’s meant to be tailored to your needs.

Your therapist in Singapore will take the time to understand your background, culture, challenges and comfort levels, adjusting their approach to best fit your needs.

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During your first session, ask your therapist which type of therapy or therapeutic approach(es) they typically use. Later, pay attention to whether they’re adapting the process to suit you.

Also, remember to be vocal about your goals and progress.

5) They Welcome Feedback – and Don’t Take it Personally

Feedback is crucial to the success of therapy, and a good therapist will welcome it, or even voluntarily ask for it regularly.

Voice any concerns, preferences, hesitations, or even discomfort with your therapist in Singapore.

A therapist who invites feedback actively, without defensiveness, is one who is invested in creating a safe space that works for you.

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Note how your therapist responds when you share constructive feedback (when you feel like something isn’t working or if you want to try something different).

Do they respond with openness and empathy? If you answered yes, that’s a green flag.

6) They’re Transparent & Don’t Give False Hope

Healing isn’t a linear journey, and therapy is not a quick fix. A professional therapist in Singapore will never give false, vague or overly optimistic promises of fixed outcomes and timelines.

What they can offer is an honest, clear and transparent explanation of their approach, your therapeutic plan, and what therapy can and can’t do. They’ll avoid sugarcoating or rushing through the process.

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In your first session, ask your therapist, ‘When can I expect to see results?’. Their answer to this question can help you gauge how transparent, honest and professional they are.

6 Red Flags: When to Walk Away & Look for Other Options

When you’re just starting out with therapy, your instincts matter a lot. But it can be hard to tell the general anxiety around therapy and meeting a new person apart from therapy red flags.

The following are some strong signs that show it might be time to walk away and try a different therapist in Singapore:

1) They Interrupt, Invalidate, or Talk Over You

Therapy is a space where your voice should take centre stage. Try to note if your therapist in Singapore does any of the following:

Cuts you off mid-sentence to interrupt
Rushes to share their opinion
Brushes past what you share
Explicitly or subtly invalidates something you share
Constantly steers you towards a pre-planned course of conversation

These are some of the biggest therapy red flags to be wary of. If you find that your therapist is engaging in any of the above behaviours, it may be time to consider other options.

Ask yourself

Do I leave sessions feeling heard, or do I feel like I’m competing for space?

2) They Make Sessions About Themselves

A therapist may occasionally share something personal to build trust, rapport, or to offer perspective. However, a good therapist will always be mindful of what they share, how much they share, and when they share it.

If your therapist in Singapore is talking more about their own life than yours, it’s a definite red flag.

Over-sharing, even if it feels like bonding, can blur boundaries and subtly shift the emotional labour onto you.

Ask yourself

Whose feelings and experiences are we talking about more – mine or theirs? Who talks more in general – me or them?

3) They Cross Personal Boundaries or Act Inappropriately

Boundary crossing – whether physical, verbal, or via text – is serious. Look out for any of the following red flags from your therapist in Singapore:

Overly familiar messages: While a therapist can be friendly and empathetic, there is a fine professional boundary to be mindful of.
Unwanted physical touch: Even something seemingly harmless, such as a pat to your arm, if unwelcome, is crossing a boundary.
Inappropriate comments: Made for fun, during in-person sessions, online, or over correspondence.

Professional boundaries are what help make therapy a safe space. A therapist who oversteps them, even if they seem well-meaning, is waving a red flag.

Ask yourself

Do I feel safe in this space? What is my body language like with my therapist? Am I able to trust them to respect my boundaries?

4) They Offer Unsolicited Advice or Make You Feel Judged

Therapy is never about lectures, advice or checklists of instructions. It’s a collaborative safe space, one where you should feel understood and not judged.

Actionable advice can be quite helpful when it’s invited and offered with empathy. But it shouldn’t feel like an unsolicited directive or make you feel ashamed for opening up.

Remember, a good therapist in Singapore will guide you towards making your own decisions and having your own breakthroughs.

Ask yourself

Am I being guided, or am I being told what to do?

5) They Diagnose You Casually or Without Proper Explanations

Labels aren’t something to be dealt with lightly. Mental health diagnoses should be made only after careful assessment, clear explanations and your explicit consent.

If your therapist casually mentions terms like ‘depression,’ ‘bipolar,’ or ‘ADHD’ without clearly explaining what they mean or how they arrived at that conclusion, it can be a huge stop sign.

Ask yourself

Does my therapist frequently mention labels without consent and explanation?

6) They Ignore Cultural and Emotional Boundaries

Therapy is meant to meet you where you are – and that includes understanding your cultural, religious, or personal identity, as well as your emotional readiness.

If a therapist in Singapore brushes aside your lived experience or applies a one-size-fits-all lens, it can feel not only invalidating but also unsafe.

This might look like invalidating your family dynamics, dismissing cultural stigma around mental health, or making assumptions about your values.

Another closely linked aspect is emotional boundaries. A good therapist checks in when sessions get heavy, is mindful of what you’re ready to explore, and never pushes you before you’re emotionally ready.

Ask yourself

Does my therapist respect my cultural and religious background?

Do I feel emotionally safe here, or am I being pushed into conversations that I’m not ready to have?

Searching for the right therapist in Singapore?

A Quick Checklist for Choosing the Right Therapist in Singapore

You can use this mini checklist to guide your decision when exploring therapists in Singapore.

Some of these questions can be answered based on your experience and intuition, while others may need to be explicitly addressed. Feel free to ask your therapist any questions you have during your first session.

Do they have relevant qualifications and registrations?
Do you feel safe, respected, and not judged in their presence?
Do they explain their therapy approach and techniques clearly?
Are they open to feedback and flexible in their methods?
Do they maintain clear professional boundaries?
Is their experience aligned with the issues you’re seeking help for?

Tip

Don’t hesitate to ask for a quick phone consultation or a one-off session before committing to a session plan.

A professional therapist won’t rush or pressure you – they’ll welcome your questions.

Key Takeaways

You deserve a therapist who meets you where you are – with empathy, openness, and professional support. If something feels off, remind yourself that it’s okay to ask questions or explore other options.

Here’s a quick recap to guide your search:

Green Flags: What to Look For

They listen more than they speak
They tailor their approach to your needs
They welcome feedback and respond with openness
They guide without controlling or directing your choices
They check in on your progress regularly
They’re transparent and don’t make false promises

Red Flags: When to Walk Away

They interrupt, invalidate, or talk over you
They make sessions about themselves
They cross professional or personal boundaries
They offer advice without consent or make you feel judged
They ignore or dismiss your cultural background, identity or emotional comfort
They diagnose casually without a proper explanation

If you’re looking to start your search for the right therapist, click here to explore TYHO Therapists in Singapore 💜