February 2024 - Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO)

5 Self-Care Tips for Mental Health

Posted on February 21, 2024January 20, 2025 by TYHO Team

Nearly 75% improve their mental health by talking to a therapist

Wanting to learn self-care tips for mental health is a great step to take!

Self-care is doing small, doable things that make a big difference in how we feel and live every day.

Unlike how self-care is portrayed in the media, we may have to consistently develop self-care habits and perform them every single day to feel better.

Below are some questions to help you reflect on how much essential self-care you practise every day:

Do you sleep enough?
How nutritious are your meals? Are all your meals nutritious?
Do you move your body daily, even if it’s simple stretching?
How often do you socialise with your loved ones?

Self-care is about what feels right for you. In this article, we will explore 5 easy self-care tips to improve your mental wellness.

We also look into self-care tips for anxiety and depression!

This Article Contains:

What Is Self-Care?
What Is Emotional Self-Care?
5 Self-Care Tips for Mental Health
Develop Mindfulness
Make Time for Therapeutic Activities
Prioritise Your Physical Health
Do Inner Work
Practice Self-Acceptance
Anxiety Self-Care Tips
Depression Self-Care Tips

What Is Self-Care?

Self-care refers to intentional habits you develop to improve your emotional, mental, and physical wellbeing.

You can identify your needs through self-care tips and create steps to fulfil them. Self-care tips for mental health are essential to creating a happy and healthy lifestyle.

Also See: How to Do 5 Self-Care Tips Better

Taking a bubble bath every other day or going for a power walk every evening is not just an indulgence but a small habit that builds up to a positive mindset.

For mental health, self-care might include:

Setting boundaries
Developing realistic couple goals
Saying no
Practising self-compassion
Rediscovering joy and happiness
Learning communication to handle work-related stress

When we actively choose to follow these habits regularly, we prioritise ourselves and our wellness.

Caring for yourself is not selfish. You deserve the care and love.

In the next section, we will specifically look into what emotional self-care means and how you can include it in your daily routine.

What Is Emotional Self-Care?

Emotional self-care means managing and improving your emotional wellness. Emotional wellness could include feeling:

Happy
Content
Satisfied
Positive
Confident
Energetic
Inspired
Hopeful

By including self-care tips in your life, you will start to understand, express, and manage your emotions better.

In other words, you may learn how to:

Maintain your energy throughout the day
Take breaks
Avoid emotional triggers
Control anger in relationships
Stay grounded in the present moment

Try asking yourself the questions below to get started with emotional self-care:

Are your coping methods useful and healthy?
Do you spend time on activities that bring you joy?
What type of activities drain your energy?
How can you manage your tasks in a way where your energy is balanced throughout the day?

Take your time to reflect on the above questions or any other points you can think of.

For example, you could start a hobby that you have been interested in for a while or call a friend if you get energy from social interactions.

5 Self-Care Tips for Mental Health

What do self-care tips for mental health look like? Where do you even get started?

In this section, we explore 5 simple and essential self-care tips that you can use to improve your overall health and wellness.

What works for someone else may not work for you. Hence, the pointers mentioned in this article are the most common and useful tips.

We urge you to reflect on what self-care strategies worked for you previously and what tip from the list below could be a nice addition to your routine.

If you want to try therapy for personal development, please visit our Therapist page to read about our services.

1. Develop Mindfulness

Mindfulness may sound fancy or hard to understand without proper instructions. However, it is a handy self-care tip for mental health.

The idea behind mindfulness is simple – it is about focusing and paying attention to the present moment.

Being mindful can help you feel calm and in control of your emotions.

Mindfulness Tips

1) Try taking deep breaths early in the morning or whenever you feel stressed or sad for no reason. ‘Pausing time’ for a deep breath can help you feel relaxed immediately.

2) Try different types of meditation. You can go for stillness, body tracing, or simply breathing in and out. Meditating for a few minutes daily can help you feel happier and improve your concentration.

3) Try to maintain a journal for gratitude. Although it may seem like it has no effect, the things you are grateful for will eventually add up and change your attitude. You may stop worrying about uncertainty and enjoy what you have now.

4) Try walking as a form of mindfulness. If you are a person who enjoys walking, you may feel calm and collected after a long and mindful walk. Walking is a simple and accessible way to bring some peace into your daily hustle.

2. Make Time for Therapeutic Activities

Self-care tips for mental health can significantly improve your emotions and thought patterns.

Therapeutic activities are a large term and can mean different things to different people.

Hence, you may have to focus more on what activity feels therapeutic to you.

Do you prefer reading? Maybe you enjoy talking to your friend? Some people also cook or bake.

Below are two types of therapeutic activities you may enjoy:

Creative Expressions

People engage in different types of creative outlets to feel calm.

Some ideas include painting, drawing, scribbling, doodling, listening to music, writing, and cooking. Your creative expression could also be your hobby.

Hobbies often offer a sense of accomplishment and joy.

Ask yourself, “What have I created recently that gave me joy?”

Digital Detox

In an era of constant connectivity, stepping away from screens can be therapeutic.

Try to allocate specific times to disconnect from your online world.

A digital break can lead to improved focus and a calmer mind.

You May Like Reading: Dopamine Detox: Does It Work?

3. Prioritise Your Physical Health

Your physical wellness can also positively affect your mental wellbeing.

Below are some easy self-care tips for mental health that focus on staying active:

Try walking more. It is easy and effective, plus you don’t need any equipment to get in some walking. A quick walk around your neighbourhood can help release dopamine, which is the ‘happy chemical’.
Dancing is a much more fun option if you enjoy it! Whenever you feel stressed or irritated, try playing your favourite playlist and shake your body for 10-15 minutes. With dancing, the positive change in your mood may be much quicker!
If you enjoy physical activities, try strength exercises. You don’t need to go to a gym or buy expensive products. An easily available weight at home (eg water bottle) can be useful for beginner exercises!

Read: How Trauma Affects Physical Health

Remember that the goal with the above tips is to enjoy the self-care habits as much as possible. If you’d rather stretch or do yoga, you should go ahead with it!

Listen to your body and engage in activities that bring you the most joy.

Nearly 75% improve their mental health by talking to a therapist

4. Do Inner Work

Taking care of your mind is just as important as looking after your body.

Here are some simple self-care tips for mental health to help you feel better:

Let go of perfection: Trying to make everything perfect can make you unhappy. Understand that it’s okay not to be perfect. The perspective shift can really help your mind relax.
Find a moment for yourself every day: Try to book some alone time in your calendar, even if it’s just five minutes to enjoy a cup of tea or sit quietly.
Ask yourself why: Sometimes, we do things out of habit. Taking a moment to think about why you do what you do can help you understand yourself better. Self-awareness can be a huge help when you want to make better decisions and improve relationships.

Remember, it is important to take time for yourself. These simple steps can make a big change in how you feel every day.

5. Practice Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance could include several factors. However, mainly, it’s about overcoming negative self-talk and being hard on yourself.

Through self-acceptance, you will start to be kinder to yourself, listen to your needs more attentively, focus on your desires, and manage your emotions effectively.

Firstly, try to acknowledge that perfection is a myth and subjective. What’s perfect to you may be imperfect to someone else.

Secondly, accepting your mistakes is a part of growth and can help you widen your perspective. Whenever you make a mistake, try to reflect on what you can do next time to avoid it and move on from the incident.

Identify your negative thought patterns. Do you think something is wrong with you? Do you feel like you are never enough? These are negative thought patterns.

When you think these thoughts, stop yourself immediately and ask, “Is this true?” and “What proof do I have to believe this about myself?”

Thirdly, celebrate all your achievements, both big and small. Did you manage to cook for yourself during a depressive episode? Did you simply get out of bed today? Or did you win an award?

You define what an achievement is for yourself. Anytime you achieve something, give yourself a reward and validation!

Lastly, try to surround yourself with positivity. You can’t always be positive, but you can take the opportunity to be as positive as you can.

Anxiety Self-Care Tips

Living with an anxiety disorder is not easy. However, certain anxiety self-care tips can be useful.

Below are self-care tips for mental health issues such as anxiety:

Talk to your loved ones regularly. Keeping your friends and family updated about your social anxiety or any other type of anxiety can be helpful. Let them know what kind of help you’d like from them.
Give yourself a little time each day to think about what’s bothering you. Self-reflection helps you determine what you can change and can’t.
Try engaging in breathing exercises when you feel anxious. Slow and deep breathing can help you calm down right away.
Maintain a reflection journal. In this notebook, write down all your triggers and coping mechanisms. Eventually, you will start to identify what triggers you and how to overcome your anxiety in a crisis moment.

You can also reach out to Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO) counsellors for anxiety counselling.

TYHO counsellors can help manage and control your emotions. Your Therapist may teach you effective tools to live with anxiety.

Depression Self-Care Tips

Taking care of your mental health when you have depression can be hard, but there are simple things you can do to help yourself feel better.

Here are some easy self-care tips for when you’re dealing with depression:

Try to move your body every day as much as possible. Physical exercise is not an immediate cure or does not offer an instant energy boost. However, every time you exercise, your brain will notice the changes you make, and your efforts will add up to feeling positive and happy in the long run.
Eating good and nutritious food is important to feel in control of your emotions. Try including a lot of fruits, vegetables, and fish in your diet.
Try to sleep at the same time and for the same number of hours every night. Maintaining a sleep schedule can immensely help you feel better.
Avoid consuming alcohol or drugs. Using substances to feel better can worsen your mental health in the long run.

If you are struggling and unable to find any benefits through self-care tips for mental health, please reach out to us to start therapy in Singapore.

Sometimes, we may all need professional help and support through hard times.

Therapists at TYHO are experts in handling issues such as major depression, bipolar disorder, and eating disorders.

Through effective tools like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and narrative therapy, you will learn how to:

Manage your emotions
Improve your mood
Improve relationships
Feel confident and happy
Regain a sense of joy in life
Look at life through a positive mindset

Visit our Singapore Therapy page to learn more about our services.

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Takeaway

Wanting to learn self-care tips for mental health is a great step to take! Self-care involves doing small, doable things that make a big difference in how we feel and live daily.

Self-care is personal and about what feels right for you. Caring for yourself is not selfish. You deserve the care and love. Regularly practising self-care can help you feel happier, healthier, and more balanced.

Affordable therapy can help you learn these tools and personalise them for your needs. Hence, if you feel like your regular self-care tools aren’t helping, feel free to reach out to one of our Therapists.

Improving Relationships Through Couples Therapy

Posted on February 20, 2024November 6, 2024 by TYHO Team

90% improve their relationship after seeking couples therapy

Improving relationships is not always easy, but couples therapy in Singapore can be a huge guidance.

If things get complicated between you and your partner, you might need an expert to help you navigate the situation without further causing harm.

Couples therapy is about improving communication in relationships and resolving conflicts before they worsen.

In this article, we explore the two proven therapy tools for improving relationships and share how therapy can help improve your communication.

This Article Contains:

Improving Relationships: 2 Proven Therapy Tools
Understand Your Partner
Understand Your Own Needs
Therapy for Improving Communication in Relationships
Become an Active Listener
Set Strong Boundaries
Build Emotional Intelligence

Improving Relationships: 2 Proven Therapy Tools

Maintaining a healthy relationship requires hard work from both partners. You may love each other and want to spend time together, but you may become confused when you have to solve a conflict.

Also See: Realistic Couple Goals and Ways You Can Achieve Them

Hence, in this section, we share 2 main proven tips for improving relationships.

Understand Your Partner

Understanding your partner is the first step to improving your relationship.

You may have to explore your partner’s thoughts and emotions without making assumptions or jumping to conclusions.

For example, when we argue with our loved one, it can be quite easy to shift the blame on them.

However, asking certain questions about their feelings helps make space for an honest conversation. In fact, understanding your partner can also avoid any future conflict.

The shift of focus from blaming to seeking solutions together is important.

During therapy in Singapore, you will learn to understand your partner better.

Understand Your Own Needs

Improving relationships also involves self-awareness. What are you feeling? What do you want to change?

Identifying what you want and require as a partner can change how you interact with others.

The more self-aware you are, the easier it is to express your needs, improve communication in relationships, and share your expectations.

Similarly, try to reflect and identify your emotional triggers. When you identify your triggers and begin to avoid or overcome them – you may communicate more effectively.

Therapy for Improving Communication in Relationships

Therapy in Singapore can help in improving communication in relationships.

Through evidence-based tools like Gottman’s couples therapy and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), your Therapist will teach you how to improve your skills.

For example, CBT helps identify negative thought patterns (eg blaming or shifting blame) and replaces them with more realistic ones.

At TYHO, among other skills, our Singapore couples Therapist can help you with the following:

Become an active listener
Set healthy boundaries
Improve your emotional intelligence

Become an Active Listener

Therapy is a great resource that can help in improving relationships and active listening.

You may learn to listen actively during therapy sessions and improve your listening habits.

Active listening is when you can wait for your turn to converse and truly hear what the other person is saying without overshadowing it with your thoughts.

When you become an active listener, both you and your partner can feel important. However, remember that the effort should come from both sides.

Hence, couples therapy in Singapore can help acknowledge the issues and make your relationship meaningful.

90% improve their relationship after seeking couples therapy

Set Strong Boundaries

Another important key to improving relationships is learning how to set strong boundaries.

An example of setting a boundary is learning to say ‘no’ without feeling bad, even if you’re saying no to your partner.

During therapy sessions, your Therapist will teach you how to set boundaries while considering your and your partner’s needs.

Remember that setting boundaries has more to do with what you can change about yourself than controlling or changing the other person. Boundaries are a way to ask people to treat you with respect.

You also find that boundaries can change consistently. Sometimes, what worked before does not work, or your needs may change. That is okay.

You may learn the flexibility of setting boundaries during therapy and not letting others take too much from you.

The above point also applies to your romantic relationship.

You May Like Reading: All You Need to Know About Ethical Non-Monogamy

You can improve communication in a relationship by setting clear boundaries about what you’d like to do, what you want to change, and your goals as a couple.

Build Emotional Intelligence

Therapy can be incredibly life-changing for couples looking to improve their relationship.

If you and your partner have the same arguments frequently, you may hope to resolve conflicts before they blow up.

Having emotional intelligence and identifying your and your partner’s emotions is a great way to avoid conflicts.

During therapy, your Therapist in Singapore may teach you both to pause after an argument, understand your triggers, and express your feelings honestly.

Therapy also helps you recognise what triggers the negative thoughts and feelings. As a couple, you may learn to understand your triggers as well as your partner’s.

When you both work together to improve communication in the relationship, you can navigate difficult situations without hurting each other.

Further, you and your partner can also get better at seeing things from each other’s perspective.

You can improve your emotional intelligence and other skills such as:

Empathy
Open communication
Honesty
Mutual respect

By learning to manage your emotions, you are not just increasing your social skills, but you may also work on improving relationships with your loved ones.

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Takeaway

Improving relationships isn’t always easy, but couples therapy in Singapore can be incredibly helpful. When things get complicated, an expert can guide you through without causing more harm or triggering you or your partner.

Therapy focuses on improving communication and resolving conflicts before they worsen. Key strategies include understanding your partner’s feelings and your own needs, becoming an active listener, setting strong boundaries, and building emotional intelligence. These skills help couples navigate tough situations, communicate better, and maintain a healthy, loving relationship.

5 Tips to Choose the Right Counsellor in Singapore

Posted on February 19, 2024January 20, 2025 by TYHO Team

Choosing the right counsellor in Singapore is possible

Choosing the right counsellor in Singapore can seem overwhelming at first. However, you can make this process smoother and more effective with a few practical tips.

Like any other relationship, a client-counsellor relationship is also unique to the people involved. What approach or style works for you may not work for someone else.

If you are just starting out your mental wellness journey, you may want to know how to recognise the right counsellor for your issues.

To answer your question, we have expanded on 5 major tips and steps that you can follow to choose the right counsellor in Singapore!

Identify Your Therapy Goals

Before you choose the right counsellor, you may want to identify your therapy goals.

Identifying your goals is about understanding what you hope to achieve through therapy. The first step can seem daunting, but it can be simpler than you might think.

Start by reflecting on what’s bothering you. Your issues could be personal, work-related stress, academic, or interpersonal relationships.

Next, think about what you wish to do with your problems. Are you hoping to set realistic couple goals? Or are you keen on moving on from your relationship?

Other emotional examples could include solving a problem, such as your struggles to live in a new country, or overcoming a psychological hardship (eg negative thought patterns or feeling sad for no reason).

Your goals can vary widely and can even change every day. Hence, you may want to write down your thoughts in a notebook to refer to while choosing the right counsellor.

In your notebook, create two lists. Under one list, write down daily challenges you find difficult to handle. These could include finishing your work on time, having no friends, social media addiction etc.

Under the second list, write down if you are diagnosed with a mental health condition (eg generalised anxiety disorder) or if you suspect that you may have a disorder.

At Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO), you will find a list of issues our counsellors can help you overcome. The points you note in this first step can be useful when you review the counsellor’s profiles!

Remember, it is okay if your goals are not yet clear. Therapy is a journey, and your objectives and expectations can evolve over time.

The important thing is to begin with a direction in mind, even if it is as simple as wanting to feel better.

Review the Counsellor’s Profile

The second tip while choosing the right counsellor is to review their full profiles.

At TYHO, you can visit each counsellor’s profile to review their background. Here, you will find information about the counsellor’s:

Qualifications
Clinical experience
Therapeutic expertise
Research backgrounds
Therapeutic approach
Issues they help with
Languages they speak
Personal interests and character

We suggest going through all the information above to choose the right counsellor. In fact, you can also watch their short introductory videos to get to know the counsellor.

During this step, refer to your therapy goals and check if any counsellor can help you with them.

For example, if you struggle with mood swings, feeling emotional, or fatigue – you can look for counsellors who can help with depression and anxiety.

Under the section ‘Therapeutic Approaches’, you will find all the techniques a counsellor uses during their sessions.

Lastly, read the counsellor’s description to better understand where they come from and what kind of help they can offer.

If you have any questions or requests, feel free to contact us at [email protected].

Choosing the right counsellor in Singapore is possible

Ask Questions

When choosing the right counsellor, try to review their therapeutic approach and style.

Below are some key questions you can consider asking your counsellor before your first therapy session!

Firstly, ask about the counsellor’s therapeutic approach. Do they lean towards psychodynamic methods or cognitive-behavioural techniques?
Secondly, ask the counsellor about the structure of the sessions. Does the counsellor encourage you to lead with topics on your mind, or are sessions more structured with specific agendas?
Lastly, ask if the counsellor sets clear objectives at the beginning of sessions and how frequently these goals are reviewed. Clarifying goal setting initially can help you stay on the same page as your counsellor.

Asking the above questions can help you set expectations for all the sessions you may wish to attend.

Do note that at TYHO, our counsellors may share their clinical impressions regularly and provide you with a therapeutic plan based on your needs.

Hence, if you have any concerns, talk openly with your counsellor to adjust your plan.

Consider the Cultural Fit

The fourth step in choosing the right counsellor is considering the cultural fit.

For example, if you are part of the LGBTQ+ community, you may want to choose a counsellor who is affirming and knowledgeable about LGBTQ+ issues.

Read: All You Need to Know About Ethical Non-Monogamy

At TYHO, all our counsellors are non-judgmental and open-minded. However, if you are specifically looking for someone with specialisations in LGBTQ+ issues, we recommend checking their full profiles or contacting us for more information!

Some people may prefer to choose a same-sex counsellor. These people may feel more comfortable sharing their thoughts with someone of a specific gender.

Another important factor includes the counsellor’s background. For example, if you are from an Asian family, a counsellor who understands your culture may be more capable of addressing your issues sensitively.

We have counsellors in Singapore who speak multiple languages and come from diverse backgrounds. You will find all the information you need about the counsellor in their full profiles!

Do a Comfort Check

The final step in choosing the right counsellor is to do a comfort check.

Initially, sharing your deepest fears and secrets with someone you have just met can seem scary. Know that the fear and hesitation of starting affordable therapy are common and experienced worldwide.

Give yourself some time to adjust to therapy. During this time, try to gauge if your counsellor is the right fit for you.

After each session, take some time out to reflect on a few aspects. Do you feel a sense of relief? Did you feel understood and validated by your counsellor? You may have the right fit if you answer yes to both questions!

The right counsellor will listen to you actively and engage with you in a way that helps you think outside the box and from a fresh perspective.

If you find that the fit isn’t quite right after giving it some time, do not hesitate to change your counsellor.

Visit our Singapore counselling page to read more about our counsellors.

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Takeaway

Choosing the right counsellor in Singapore can feel confusing, but it doesn’t have to be!

Here are five friendly tips to make the process smoother: First, identify your therapy goals by reflecting on what you want to achieve. Next, review the counsellor’s profile to make sure their expertise aligns with your needs.

Don’t hesitate to ask questions about their therapeutic approach and session structure. Consider the cultural fit to ensure you feel understood and comfortable. Finally, do a comfort check after each session to see if you feel heard and validated.

Finding the right counsellor is a process, and if the fit isn’t right, it is completely okay to change counsellors.

Mental Health Counselling in Singapore: Types & Benefits

Posted on February 19, 2024November 6, 2024 by TYHO Team

80% improve their life through mental health counselling

Mental health counselling in Singapore is a key support for those feeling down or emotionally distressed.

Counselling helps you understand your feelings and improve how you cope with daily life issues. Talking to a counsellor might be the right step if everyday tasks feel too hard.

According to 2022 research, nearly 14.1% of Singaporeans have depression, and 15.2% have anxiety. In total, 20% may have symptoms of depression or anxiety.

Many people in Singapore struggle with their mental health but avoid seeking help because of fear of judgement. The good news is things are changing. More people are learning about mental health, and finding help is getting easier.

You can improve your life and relationships through offline or online mental health counselling.

This article briefly discusses the types of counselling and why counselling is good for mental health!

This Article Contains:

What Is Mental Health Counselling?
Types of Mental Health Counselling in Singapore
Psychotherapy
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT)
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Why Is Counselling Good for Mental Health?

What Is Mental Health Counselling?

Mental health counselling in Singapore is a space for you to understand and manage your emotions.

At Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO), we offer counselling services for various psychological challenges.

Some of the issues we help with include stress, anxiety, depression, burnout, and relationship issues (eg being in a relationship with a narcissist).

You may wonder why counselling is good for mental health and how a professional can help you with something so unique to your situation.

During counselling, you may talk to a trained counsellor about your feelings and thoughts. All TYHO counsellors are empathetic and will guide you through personalised strategies for coping and growth.

Hence, regardless of your problem, your counsellor will work with you to reach a state of peace.

The process of mental health counselling in Singapore is collaborative. In other words, your counsellor will work with you to identify goals and develop skills to handle difficult situations.

Mental health counselling can help you navigate a tough period in life, cope with a disorder, or if you would like to understand your emotions better.

Types of Mental Health Counselling in Singapore

At TYHO, we provide different types of mental health counselling in Singapore to diagnose and help improve your overall wellbeing.

In this section, you can find out more about the types of psychotherapy a professional may use during counselling.

The therapeutic plan and approach may vary based on your preferences, your counsellor’s recommendations, and the intensity of your issues.

Hence, try to have an open and honest conversation with your counsellor about what works best for you!

The primary type of counselling used during sessions is psychotherapy.

Psychotherapy

Psychotherapy is a type of talk therapy where you may engage in a conversation with a mental health counsellor to address your issues.

Individuals, couples, children, and family members can attend psychotherapy either individually or along with their loved ones.

For example, couples can attend sessions together during couples counselling in Singapore. However, a partner may go for individual counselling if they wish to attend a session alone.

At its core, psychotherapy aims to teach people about the complex relationship between their feelings, thoughts, and behaviours.

By doing so, the person may gain self-awareness and empower them to view their challenges from a fresh perspective.

During mental health counselling in Singapore, your counsellor may use either one or multiple approaches to suit your unique needs.

Some of the common types among these are cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), dialectical behavioural therapy (DBT), and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT).

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a type of mental health counselling that may help you understand how your thoughts, feelings, and actions influence each other.

Initially, CBT identifies that negative behaviours often originate from counterproductive thoughts. You may learn how to reframe your thoughts to handle difficult situations.

In therapy sessions, your counsellor will guide you through introspective exercises. These activities will help you identify and understand your cognitive biases (ie thinking that everything is your fault).

80% improve their life through mental health counselling

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT)

DBT is a structured therapeutic approach that combines tools from CBT and mindfulness practices.

DBT focuses on four key elements. These include mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

Through DBT techniques, you will learn how to manage stress, control your emotions, and improve relationships.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT is a type of mental health counselling that focuses on accepting emotions and thoughts without struggle.

The main idea of ACT is to ‘make room’ for thoughts without judging them or trying to get rid of them as soon as possible.

ACT helps shift your focus from fighting your feelings to acknowledging and letting them pass.

Therefore, the shift in your perspective can allow you to engage in life more fully and make decisions based on what matters to you.

Why Is Counselling Good for Mental Health?

We may all have wondered why counselling is good for mental health. Why not talk to a friend about it or seek advice from a mentor?

Counselling is different from talking to our loved ones. While your friend may hear you out and offer advice, your counsellor is an expert at recognising patterns and hints from your behaviours and thoughts that you may otherwise have missed.

See: Have No Friends? Here’s How to Thrive

The patterns in your behaviours may, therefore, provide crucial insight into why you feel the way you do and what skills might help you handle your issues better.

Moreover, unconditional validation and support from your counsellor may help you feel understood and less alone.

Below are four important points on why counselling is good for mental health:

Emotional support: Mental health counselling in Singapore offers a space to express your feelings without fear of judgement or ridicule.
Coping strategies: Your counsellor will teach you specific and personalised coping methods that you can use to overcome negative emotions. At TYHO, we believe that you are the best judge of your life. Hence, your counsellor will ensure that you are independent and self-reliant. In other words, the skills you learn in therapy can be used long after your sessions end.
Improved relationships: Through mental health counselling, you can improve your communication skills and the way you interact with your loved ones. When you understand your partner better, you will notice an improvement in your bond and affection!
Personal growth: Counselling can teach you how to reflect and better understand yourself. Through individual mental health counselling in Singapore, you may learn your strengths and align your life with your values.

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Takeaway

Mental health counselling in Singapore can help you better understand your feelings and tackle daily challenges.

With nearly 14.1% of Singaporeans experiencing depression and 15.2% dealing with anxiety, mental health support is crucial. Thankfully, awareness is growing, and finding help is easier than ever.

Whether offline or online, counselling can improve your life and relationships. At TYHO, we provide several counselling approaches, including CBT, DBT, and ACT.

All approaches can offer you emotional support, healthy coping mechanisms, improved relationships, and personal growth. Don’t hesitate to take a step towards better mental health!

What is Therapy and Different Types of Therapy

Posted on February 16, 2024July 5, 2024 by TYHO Team

About 75% of people who enter therapy show benefit from it

From time to time, all of us feel mentally or emotionally burdened, be it from work, academic stresses, or relationships.

In recent times, many people have spoken out about mental health issues around the globe. This has fuelled an interest in personal therapy as an effective way to cope with the psychological and emotional issues that we face in our daily lives.

What is therapy? How can a Therapist in Singapore help? What are some types of therapy? These are some questions that we aim to answer in this article.

Here’s more information for those unsure about what therapy is and if therapy is for them, as well as 7 different types of therapy used by mental health professionals.

This Article Contains:

What is Therapy?
Therapy is for anyone
Therapists don’t tell us what to do
Therapy is more than just having a casual chat
Therapy is a mature way of fixing a personal problem
The length and frequency of therapy can vary
Therapy doesn’t last forever
Online therapy can be just as effective
Different Types of Therapy
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Mindfulness
Psychodynamic Therapy
Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT)
Person Centred Approach
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
Systemic Therapy
Frequently Asked Questions

What is Therapy?

What is therapy? There are countless types of therapy (see below).

The term ‘therapist’ is widely used. People wonder what occupational therapy, speech therapy, massage therapy, and physiotherapy is. The list goes on.

Therapy is also generally known as counselling or psychotherapy. In the context of emotional difficulties, therapy is a safe, confidential, and non-judgmental space.

Individuals may share their struggles and work towards a goal with a trained professional. This section introduces the types of trained professionals and what they do.

Psychiatrist. Diagnoses mental health conditions. Prescribes medication.

Clinical psychologist. Diagnoses mental health conditions. Manages more serious mental health disorders non-medicinally in the long term.

Professional counsellor. Uses integrative therapies to help people work through personal and emotional issues.

Social Worker: Works with and advocates for individuals and families. Liaises with various parties in the community on behalf of clients.

When looking for a therapist, you might find the terms ‘therapist’, ‘counsellor’, and ‘psychotherapist’ used interchangeably. What is most important is trust.

Look for a therapist you can trust. This is because your relationship with your therapist will be a key factor affecting the outcome of therapy.

Therapists help their clients develop emotional resilience and cognitive skills to alleviate distress and help them achieve their personal goals and potential.

They use different therapeutic modes to:

Therapy is for anyone

Therapy isn’t the only way to manage all mental health issues.

Different strategies work for people who want to maintain good mental health, including yoga, self-care, mindfulness and journaling.

However, if someone hasn’t felt like themselves for more than two weeks, a check-in with a therapist may be a suitable option.

For example, if they have been:

Sleeping a lot more or less than usual
Feeling irritable
find themselves snapping all the time
Feeling sad for no reason

You may wish to learn more about the warning signs to look out for.

Therapy in Singapore is not only reserved for people who have been clinically diagnosed with mental illnesses or mental disorders.

It is common to think, “My situation is not bad enough to go for therapy,” or hear this from your loved ones.

This may be a good time to gently remind ourselves and those close to us that things don’t have to get worse before they get better.

Therapists don’t tell us what to do

It is not uncommon to find ourselves asking questions such as:

Why do I feel sad for no reason?
Why do I end up with narcissists or end up in abusive relationships?
What is the meaning of life?
Why do I push people away?

There must be a reason why we can’t help but feel anxious or depressed over a certain situation we are facing.

There must be a reason why we may feel continuously helpless or indulge in self-defeating and maladaptive behaviours.

Therapists are equipped with skills to help us gain a deeper understanding of ourselves and gain self-awareness. Good therapists don’t tell us what decisions we should make or how we should feel about situations.

Instead, they help us develop useful skills that we may not have had the fortune to inherit or stumble upon.

Therapy is more than just having a casual chat

We may go to counselling in Singapore and start by casually discussing how messy our lives are or ranting about our difficult experiences.

However, how a Therapist responds is different from how your friend would.

Psychotherapists in Singapore are professionally trained in different types of therapy to help you with any emotional or psychological difficulties you may be facing.

Therapists are also required to adhere to professional and ethical obligations, including that of confidentiality.

Your time spent with your therapist is focused on you – your hopes, desires and fears. It is not like a two-way conversation with a friend.

Singaporean Therapists are trained to help you through your personal issues without any bias, judgement or discomfort.

They are also objective – having no personal stake in your decisions, perspectives or values, they help to uncover your true self to yourself.

It can get uncomfortable during therapy because, for any therapy to work, we must trust our therapist and open up our deepest wounds to them.

Therapy is a mature way of fixing a personal problem

Struggling with a mental health issue, or indeed seeking therapy in Singapore, does not make one weak or ‘defective’ in any way.

What matters more is the maturity and resilience that one shows in dealing with the issue, like any other life challenge.

Maturity is when we are unafraid to accept our own trauma, grief and pain and actively seek help before it affects us further.

It requires a clear and honest analysis of ourselves, coupled with strength and courage, to be able to fight our battles head-on.

By employing professional help, we are not only acknowledging that an issue is weighing us down in some way, but we are also working on it to find appropriate solutions.

You May Like Reading: Do I Need Therapy?

The length and frequency of therapy can vary

There is no rule around how long therapy will take or how frequent it should be, as it would depend on the issues faced by the client, their personal goals and the improvements observed.

We provide some research-backed guidance below.

Length

Mental health research indicates that after an average of 8 sessions (Foundation Psychology; Saxon et al., 2016), individuals report the greatest decrease in psychological distress and are most likely to experience positive changes in their lives.

Time is needed for therapists to understand our personal story and history. It is also important to remember that progress looks different for each of us. We also need time for us to make changes in our lives and break unhelpful patterns.

It may also be helpful to note that individuals who decide to withdraw within or just after 3 sessions are less likely to experience positive outcomes as things often start taking a turn for the better after the third session (Crago & Gardner, 2012).

Frequency

In terms of frequency, at the start, individuals can consider going for therapy once a week.

Research suggests that weekly sessions allow regularity, which is highly beneficial to clients, particularly at the beginning of the therapeutic journey.

Having regular weekly sessions develops one’s emotional safety (Cameron, 2018) and enables one to build trust and rapport with one’s therapist (Hall, 2020).

This allows one to progress at a steady pace and ensures that during sessions, more time can be dedicated to working through one’s issues rather than filling the therapist in about the time that has elapsed.

Moreover, weekly check-ins reduce the possibility of slipping into bad habits or becoming overwhelmed by unwanted thoughts and feelings. Visit our obsessive-compulsive disorder page to read more.

Nonetheless, committing to therapy in Singapore is an investment of both one’s time and financial resources. You may want to speak with your therapist and come up with a plan or schedule that works best for you.

Therapy doesn’t last forever

Therapists certainly do not encourage long-term dependence on them. It can be a lifelong effort on our part to work on the issues we face, but the work of a therapist ends when we have learned the necessary skills for doing so.

Depending on the type of therapy we receive as well as the complexity of the problems we face, the amount of time needed may vary from person to person, but there is an end to therapy.

Goals are always set so that we get a gauge of how far or how near we are from ‘the end’. These goals can be specific, like controlling anger in a relationship, or more broad-based goals, such as rediscovering joy and happiness, improving our relationships or better regulating our emotions.

Therapy generally ends when the client’s goals have been achieved.

About 75% of people who enter therapy show benefit from it

Online therapy can be just as effective

For the vast majority of us, other than wondering what is therapy, we question if online therapy is the same as in-person.

As long as we are able to find a comfortable and private environment, talk therapy is as effective, whether it is conducted online via video-conferencing, voice call, live texting, or in-person.

Indeed, the added convenience, anonymity and affordability when talking to the Singaporean Therapist online may even allow us to feel more at ease and thus improve the effectiveness of the therapy sessions.

Online counselling in Singapore can be more time efficient as well. Not only can we fit therapy sessions into our schedules more easily without having to take leave from work, but it also removes the need to travel.

Additionally, there will be no need to explain our stories again when changing therapists within the platform should we agree to allow our previous therapist to share session notes.

Read more about the benefits of online counselling.

Different Types of Therapy

Therapists use different types of therapy, or a mix of approaches. This section explains 7 commonly used therapeutic approaches.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) suggests that our thoughts, emotions, and behaviour all affect each other.

CBT is predicated on the idea that the challenges we face stem from our thoughts and beliefs. Thus, reframing our unhelpful thoughts reduces our difficulties (Dawson, Moghaddam & Przepiórka, 2015).

Individuals have different belief systems, which result in other emotions and actions even in similar situations.

For example, John was often criticized by his parents as a child. Thus, he internalised the core beliefs that he was ‘worthless’ and ‘useless’. When John failed exams, he thought it was because he was ‘inferior’.

He felt sad and frustrated. To feel better, John started to smoke and drink. The more he smoked and drank, the more ‘useless’ he felt. Hence, a vicious cycle followed.

To get rid of his negative emotions, he engaged in harmful behaviours. This reinforced his feelings of sadness and frustration. He then believed that he was ‘inferior’.

CBT identifies and reframes unhelpful thoughts and beliefs into healthier alternatives. This changes the resulting emotions and actions.

CBT has been recommended for treating anxiety disorders and low to moderate levels of depression (NICE, 2009). It is an evidence-based practice that is largely effective.

Visit our depression counselling and anxiety counselling page to learn more.

Mindfulness

Mindfulness has its roots in Buddhism (Guendelman, Medeiros, Rampes, 2017).

According to Davis and Hayes (2011), mindfulness is ‘a moment-to-moment awareness of one’s experience without judgment’. In other words, to be mindful is to be truly present in the moment and to be aware of what one is doing, thinking and feeling.

Some ways to practice mindfulness include taking a few minutes to breathe in and out deeply.

Truly focus on your thoughts and feelings. Let them come and go without judging or analysing them. Be aware of your senses. Listen to the sounds in your surroundings. Feel the connection of your feet to the ground.

Mindfulness allows individuals to better regulate and cope with their feelings (Guendelman et al., 2017) by mitigating strong negative emotions.

Being present in the moment helps to reduce automatic behaviours. If the driver in front of us brakes suddenly, we tend to react with anger automatically.

However, practising mindfulness allows us to choose how we wish to respond intentionally. Responding calmly rather than angrily may promote better mental well-being in the long run.

Mindfulness has been integrated into various therapies. Examples include Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction (MBSR), Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Although these therapies vary in technique and preferred outcomes, mindfulness is at the core of them all.

For example, MBCT integrates both mindfulness and CBT. It guides clients to identify and recognise negative thinking patterns, such as rumination (ie constant worrying thoughts) or thought suppression.

Clients are then taught skills to disengage from these automatic and dysfunctional patterns via meditation (Barnhofer et al., 2009).

Mindfulness is effective in decreasing the rate of relapse from depression (Williams et al, 2008). It is also useful for dealing with depression, stress and anxiety.

Psychodynamic Therapy

Psychodynamic therapy addresses unconscious conflicts that may have arisen during an individual’s early relationships and that are still impacting their current life (Lake & Whittington, 2015).

For example, it looks at how our relationships with our parents affect our current lives.

Children of neglectful parents tend to grow up being emotionally distant.

Hence, psychodynamic therapy aims to highlight unhelpful and internalized behaviours. This is done by bringing them to a client’s consciousness.

Clients are then guided to form new meanings and experiences (Lake & Whittington, 2015).

Principles of Inner Child Work

The concept of an ‘inner child’ looks at the child inside of us – the child we once were.

Although many of us might consider ourselves grown adults, our lives are constantly influenced unconsciously by our inner child (Diamond, 2008).

The pain, trauma and emotional burdens felt during childhood continue to impact us as adults. Inner child work hence ‘involves the patient using their adult self to re-parent their inner child’ (p.1) with the Singaporean therapist helping alongside (Mahadevan, 2012).

It is thus important to first recognize the needs of the inner child. One can then work towards reconciliation between the two selves (Diamond, 2008).

This allows the person to grow and truly heal. Mahadevan (2012) suggested that it was crucial for his participant to ‘connect with her inner child” and to “feel her feelings which she had suppressed for a long time as a child’.

Solution Focused Brief Therapy (SFBT)

Solution Focused Brief Therapy, as the name suggests, focuses on the possible solutions a client may choose.

The problem thus lies not in the client but in the solution. Effective solutions should achieve positive results. If not, they should be changed.

Hence, unlike traditional models exploring problems’ origin and maintenance, SFBT looks at what clients can do to achieve desired outcomes.

In SFBT, the therapist asks questions that help clients identify their strengths and resources. An example is, “You were able to abstain from alcohol at home; what’s different here?”.

The following section covers SFBT techniques adapted from de Shazer and Berg (1997) and Kim and Franklin (2009).

SFBT Techniques

The miracle question: Clients are asked to think about how different their lives would be if the problem did not exist. This helps them form a clear and realistic goal to achieve their desired outcome (Hopson & Kim, 2004).

Scaling questions: Clients are asked to rate their progress (e.g., on a scale of 1 to 10). This allows them to track their efforts. Scaling questions uncover possible solutions (Hopson & Kim, 2004) by revealing what does and does not work.

Evaluation and giving compliments: Clients are praised for their strengths. This empowers them. It also highlights their resources (Hopson & Kim, 2004).

Giving homework: The therapist in Singapore assigns an activity for the client to try. This is based on what the client decides is beneficial or not in seeking effective solutions (Hopson & Kim, 2004).

Setting targets: Goals must be practical and realistic. They must also come from what clients believe will work. This increases clients’ motivation and involvement (Hopson & Kim, 2004).

Questioning about exceptions: The therapist examines when the problem is absent and how this absence occurred. This helps clients realise that they already have resources to address the problem (Hopson & Kim, 2004).

Once the client is aware of and cherishes minor improvements, more changes will occur, creating a ripple effect (Bannink, 2007).

Bannink (2007) also emphasises the client as the driver of effective solutions. In other words, “the client is the expert” (p. 88). Also, the client “defines the goal for treatment” (p. 88).

SBFT is useful and effective for “drug dependence, alcohol addiction, depression, relationship problems, relationship breakdown, eating disorders, crisis and anger management” (Arslan and Ulus, 2020, pp. 3).

Person Centred Approach

Person-centred therapy, developed by Carl Rogers, emphasises the client taking the lead while the therapist follows, helping clients find their own answers (Joseph, 2015).

Rogers proposes that an individual has their own subjective reality, which can only be understood from their own conscious experience (Funder, 2015).

He also suggests that a person’s main purpose is to fulfil one’s true potential — or to “actualise” one’s life (Funder, 2015).

One way to practice this approach is Socratic questioning. This allows one to uncover useful answers (Padesky, 1993).

New information surfaces when questioning the validity of and assumptions behind clients’ beliefs.

Padesky (1993) explains that this is not to “change the client’s mind” (pp. 3). Instead, it is to “understand the client’s view of things” (pp. 3). This results in a collaborative effort to make changes.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR is based on the Adaptive Information Processing Model. The model argues that previously stored repressed emotions, sensations or beliefs may have memory links to current experiences, which distort the current reality (Shapiro, 2014).

EMDR processes these repressed memories via ‘bilateral stimulation’. The client recounts traumatic experiences while following the therapist’s hand movements or listening to bilateral sounds (Crowley and Santos, 2015).

This desensitises clients to their negative emotions. It also allows clients to reprocess and create new links for their memories.

Research has demonstrated EMDR’s effectiveness for psychological trauma (eg post-traumatic stress Disorder) or negative life experiences by treating repressed memories (Shapiro, 2014).

Systemic Therapy

Systemic therapy considers the system an individual is in. This is in contrast to focusing solely on the individual. Systems include relationships, family, and organisations.

Systemic therapy examines how the system, or the relationships in the system, might perpetuate the problems faced.

Treatment focuses on working with the system to bring about changes (Lake & Whittington, 2015). For example, parents who argue often might add to their children’s anxiety. Check our Singapore child psychologists page for more.

Systemic therapy would then involve helping the parents to respond appropriately to their children’s behaviours. It would also help the parents manage their own emotional difficulties better.

Also See: Why Does My Mom Hate Me? Reasons You May Feel This Way

Takeaway

Therapy is a safe and confidential space where you can work with trained professionals to address emotional and psychological challenges.

Various professionals offer therapy, including psychiatrists, clinical psychologists, professional counsellors, and social workers. Finding a therapist you trust is important, as your relationship with the therapist can determine the effectiveness and outcome of therapy.

Remember, therapists are there to help you devise effective solutions to your problems. They also help you better understand yourself and develop the skills to navigate life’s challenges.

The duration and frequency of therapy may vary depending on your preferences, issues, and other factors. At Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO), we offer both in-person and online therapy to help you heal, cope, and thrive in life.

Frequently Asked Questions

Why is mental health important?

Our mental health is important as it influences and determines how we think, feel, and behave.

Prioritising our mental health positively impacts several aspects of our lives. Having good mental health boosts our productivity, helps us foster healthy relationships, and allows us to stay resilient amidst life’s challenges.

Read: Why You Procrastinate and How to Stop

Conversely, having poor mental health lowers our focus and motivation and impedes our ability to tackle our daily stressors.

In the long term, it can lead to severe emotional and physical health complications.

One may engage in self-defeating behaviours (eg physical neglect, excessive self-criticism) or even resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms (eg alcohol, drug use) to manage difficult emotions.

How do I get a mental health diagnosis?

Online mental health self-assessments are a quick and convenient way to find out if you are experiencing symptoms of a mental health issue. However, they do not provide you with an actual diagnosis.

You may wish to visit a psychologist in Singapore or a psychiatrist for a mental health diagnosis. They are mental health professionals best placed to assess both your feelings and behaviours and determine the state of your mental health.

As mental health is complex and symptoms of mental health disorders often differ between individuals, it may take several assessments before you receive your complete diagnosis.

Even then, your diagnosis is still subject to change, particularly if new symptoms show up over time.

At times, you may also be required to undergo a physical check-up to draw out physical ailments contributing to your symptoms, if any.

The process of getting a diagnosis can be arduous. Many a time, you will be asked to share your innermost struggles and confront difficult experiences.

Being diagnosed with a mental disorder may also leave you feeling lost and confused or even ashamed. However, always remember that you are not your mental disorder.

You are simply an individual with a mental disorder, and a courageous one at that, for seeking support.

What does a mental health counsellor do?

A mental health counsellor is a trained professional who works with individuals experiencing various personal and emotional issues (eg feeling emotional all the time).

Beyond providing a listening ear, they draw from several integrative therapies to help you see things from different perspectives and gain deeper self-awareness.

A counsellor also gives you mental health tips and guides you along as you set goals and action plans to enhance your overall well-being.

Nonetheless, a counsellor does not tell you what to do or how you should feel. Rather, they offer a safe and non-judgmental space fo share your emotions and experiences honestly.

Over time, your therapeutic journey is meant to help you build internal resources and develop skills to manage the challenges you are faced with.

How to prepare for therapy sessions?

Anticipating your first therapy session in Singapore can fill you with nervousness and apprehension.

Experiencing such feelings is completely normal, particularly if you are unsure of what to expect.

That said, there are still steps you can take to prepare better prepare yourself and make the most out of your session.

Some tips include:

Envision your goals: Think about what you hope to get from therapy. It is natural for your thoughts to be all over the place before your first session. You may even wonder if it’s too early to start envisioning goals. Nonetheless, envisaging an outcome prepares you for your first conversation with your therapist. With knowledge of your purpose for seeking therapy, they can also better devise a therapeutic plan for you.
Keep an open mind: Counselling sessions often reveal insights about ourselves in ways that we may not have expected. Be honest with yourself. Keeping an open mind invites new ideas, possibilities and experiences, which help to foster self-growth. Your Therapist in Singapore may also ask you more questions during your first session to better assess and understand your situation.
Ask questions: Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Clarifying your doubts during the session, whether about therapy itself, appointment frequency, or payment, relieves you a great deal of uncertainty after the session. What’s more, receiving clear answers from your therapist allows you to plan your subsequent sessions more swiftly.

If you are keen to learn more about how to prepare for different types of counselling sessions (eg individual counselling, couples counselling), further information can be found here.

How long are therapy sessions?

Most individual therapy sessions run for 50 to 60 minutes. Couples or family counselling sessions, however, may run longer (eg 90 mins).

All sessions at Talk Your Heart Out (TYHO) are an hour long.

There are a few reasons for keeping to hour-long sessions. Some clients may feel overwhelmed when they are made to discuss deeply personal and emotional issues, often including traumatic experiences, for more than an hour.

Limiting sessions to an hour allows them to discuss, feel, and contain their emotions with a clear endpoint in mind, such that resuming daily activities after would be less tedious.

Adhering to such session length also encourages clients to dive more directly into their issues, which in turn helps therapists to absorb what they have shared and offer insights with greater ease.

Altogether, it ensures that both clients and Therapists stay focused across the hour and reduces the chances of an information overload.

How much do therapy sessions cost?

On average, an hour-long therapy session is priced between $100-$300 for individual counselling and $180-$400 for couples counselling.

Some counselling centres utilise a sliding scale structure, where fees are often adjusted according to a client’s income.

When in doubt, seek clarification from the respective service teams.

At TYHO, the fees for our individual counselling sessions start from S$ 130.80 (w/GST) and for our couples counselling sessions from S$ 152.60 (w/GST).

Package pricing is also available for both session types. For more pricing-related information, please click here.

When is mental health awareness month?

In the United States, Mental Health Awareness Month is celebrated in May.

Events and activities to raise mental health awareness are usually planned during this time of the year.

Collectively, they aim to show support for individuals with mental health issues, normalise conversations around mental health and wellbeing, and reduce the stigma surrounding seeking professional help.

Across many parts of the world, as well as in Singapore, World Mental Health Day is also celebrated on 10 October each year.

Mental Health Awareness Month and World Mental Health Day are important initiatives.

While mental health should always be a priority, many often feel afraid to admit their vulnerabilities and tend to trivialise their emotions. Some may even find the topic taboo or foreign.

Such observances thus establish the universal significance of mental health, provide a platform to mobilise wellbeing efforts and encourage more workplaces and individuals to commit to self-care.

Visit our Singapore Therapist page to read about the different types of services we offer.

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5 Languages of Love: Thinking Across Culture & Geography

Posted on February 2, 2024August 6, 2024 by TYHO Team

Therapy helps 97% of couples express their love effectively

Even love can get lost in translation if you and your partner speak different love languages.

Decades ago, the words ‘love’ and ‘language’ were not used as a stand-alone noun. However, since then, an author and counsellor, Dr Gary Chapman, has written a book – ‘The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts’ and introduced the world to his concept of love.

Now, the different types of love languages are a worldwide sensation.

We are here to examine love intricately and share some of our thoughts about the types of love languages, the geographical influence on love and the diversity of love across cultures!

This Article Contains:

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts
Origin of Love Languages
What Are Love Languages?
What Are the Five Love Languages?
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Thinking Beyond Different Love Languages
Cultural Influence on the Five Love Languages
Geographical Influence on the Five Love Languages
Tips to Handle Cultural Differences

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

In his book, Dr. Chapman explains that we all experience and express love differently. To make your partner feel loved, you simply need to learn their love language – and vice versa.

In the introduction of the book, Dr. Chapman wrote:

“Your emotional love language and the language of your spouse may be as different as Chinese from English. No matter how hard you try to express love in English, if your spouse understands only Chinese, you will never understand how to love each other.”

By now, we know that relationships require hard work to keep them afloat, and the key to getting started is learning love languages.

The 5 languages are a tool to help you express your love not only deeply – but also in a way where your love actually reaches your partner.

The concept of love languages is quite simple. Each ‘language’ is simply a way of expressing love. Once you learn all the types, you need to find out which love language you and your partner respond to most – and then use it regularly.

People express love in unique and different ways – all wrapped in beautiful layers of their upbringings, personalities, environments, and needs. Hence, do keep in mind that the love languages mentioned in this article are the five overarching themes of Chapman’s research – and not a universal determiner of love itself.

Lastly, love is so diverse that it appears and exists in cultures in ways so complex – yet so universally understood.

Origin of Love Languages

If you type ‘What is my love language’ into Google, you may come across the 5 types and a quiz to learn more about how you express love. Occasionally, Google may show you results such as ‘gift giving’ based on your search history.

We all throw around the term ‘love language’ very frequently. In fact, the New York Times wrote that love languages have become ‘a cultural phenomenon and shorthand for anything that brings a person joy.’

The concept has become so popular that people have started joking about it. For example, many people, especially young adults, write that spamming memes in their friend’s DMs is their love language. Maybe helping your girlfriend wear their make-up is yours?

Where did the original concept of love languages come from?

Gary Chapman first introduced it in his book – ‘The 5 Love Languages’.

Chapman, who is a pastor and a marriage counsellor, first described the five unique ways people express love.

In an interview, Chapman shared that his counselling experience greatly influenced his insights about love languages. He started noticing patterns in how couples express and interpret love.

Also See: How Do I Tell If He Loves Me – 15 Signs to Look Out For

Interestingly, Chapman’s theory also aligns with the literature on attachment styles and communication.

His work noted that the real value of love is to be more attentive to your partner. To maintain a relationship, he writes that you first have to consider the needs and wants of the other person and then adjust your own behaviour.

What Are Love Languages?

Love languages are ways to express your feelings to a partner and identify the love you receive from them. You can use Chapman’s concept not only to understand how romantic relationships work but also to improve your friendships and familial bonds.

The 5 languages are a two-way concept because while you may express love in a certain way, you may want to receive it in another.

Using the love languages framework, you can let your partner know what action makes you feel the most loved and also begin to understand how your needs differ from any other signs your partner shows.

The five love languages are: words of affirmation (eg encouragements), acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch (sexual and platonic touch).

While you may have a few preferred ways of expressing love, the concept suggests that you may have a better relationship if you instead focus on your partner’s preferred ways of receiving love.

The core idea is that we all have an ‘emotional love tank’ that we need our loved ones to consistently fill for us. The more our love tank is full, the more loved and adored we may feel.

Similarly, you may need to fill up their love tank to make your partner feel loved. To do so, you may have to learn how to ‘speak’ your partner’s love languages.

What Are the Five Love Languages?

Words of Affirmation

The first type of love language is all about verbal expressions of love and affection. Words of affirmation mean expressing your love through words – either spoken or written.

Your primary love language may be words of affirmation if you like hearing ‘I love you’ often or like receiving words of encouragement.

The most important thing about this love language is to be authentic. If talking is not your thing, you can write a little note or text them. The modality does not matter – it is about letting your loved one know you care with your words!

For a partner, tell them you love them regularly or send a quick text to let them know they are on your mind. A simple ‘I’m thinking about you right now’ could make them feel loved.

As for friends and family, you could check in on them throughout the day. Send them your encouragement (if they have an interview/exam coming up), or simply exchange regular updates about how your day is going and what you would like to do with them.

Make sure to use less generic and more specific words of affirmations – as these may feel more meaningful to the recipient!

Below are some words of affirmation you can use:

“Love you lots.”
“You mean a lot to me.”
“I’m so proud of you.”
“Thank you for being my friend/partner.”
“You are amazing.”

Acts of Service

The concept of ‘acts of service’ as a love language is about showing love through actions rather than words.

If you firmly believe that what you do is more important than what you say, this might be your primary way of expressing affection.

Acts of service are not just about grand romantic gestures. Rather, these acts are those little things you do to make someone’s day a bit easier or brighter.

It is not confined to romantic relationships either – your family and friends can feel loved through these actions too.

You might deeply appreciate it when someone does a chore for you without being asked. Or perhaps you are the one who is always ready to lend a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on for a friend.

See: Have No Friends? Here’s How to Thrive

It is these small, thoughtful acts that really count, like making a cup of coffee for someone in the morning or running an errand for a friend who’s swamped.

Below are some ideas to express love through acts of service:

Spontaneously taking your partner on a date – just because!
Preparing a relaxing bubble bath for your partner if they have a rough day.
Helping out a friend with their lunch or dinner, especially if they are busy with assignments or work.
Letting your loved one pick the movie for the night, even if it is not your favourite.
Picking up a small gift that you know they will love, just to see them smile.

Therapy helps 97% of couples express their love effectively

Receiving Gifts

The third love language is receiving gifts. Gifts are not about materialism or chasing after luxury items. Instead, it is the sentiment and effort behind each gift that makes a person feel truly loved and adored.

If receiving gifts is your love language, you care about thoughtfulness. Here’s how you can tell if receiving gifts speaks to your heart:

You deeply appreciate the time and thought that goes into selecting a gift.
Even the smallest gift from your partner means a lot to you.
You feel hurt when your partner forgets to gift you something during important occasions (eg anniversaries or birthdays).

For people with this type of love language, a simple token of affection can mean the world, especially because gifts are a physical representation of love!

Below are some gift ideas if you want to show someone you care when gifts are their love language:

Buy flowers for your partner after a long day at work.
Create a hand-made ‘memory box’ for your friend’s birthday. (Tip: You can add your pictures, some loving messages for special occasions, and their favourite chocolate or sweet!).
Surprise your parent with a neck massager.

Try to choose gifts that resonate with your unique bond – like something that reminds you both of an inside joke or a memorable shared experience!

Quality Time

Spending time together is a part of every relationship – whether platonic or romantic. However, people with this type of love language perceive quality time as a key expression of love.

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Spending quality time together with a partner is all about valuing the time spent in each other’s company, with full attention and no distractions.

If lack of quality time with a loved one leaves you feeling disconnected or unloved, then quality time might be your primary love language.

If your partner’s love language is quality time, they may feel valuable when you go out of your way to spend time together with them.

Quality time can vary from person to person. For some, it could mean spending a few minutes together daily, while for others, it could involve engaging in planned activities.

For example, elaborate activities could include Saturday movie night, attending parties frequently, dining out every Sunday, or going on a relaxed date once a week!

The only important thing to keep in mind with this type of love language is to be fully present.

Below are some ideas to spend quality time with your loved ones:

Spend a few minutes cuddling in bed each morning before starting the day.
Create a weekly date night tradition (Note: Your date could be something as simple and budget-friendly as watching a movie or as grand as having a fancy meal).
Put in time for a call with your friends in your shared calendar. This way, regardless of how hectic things get, you will find time to share space with your friend.
Put away your phone during conversations or activities to show you are fully engaged.

Also See: Deep Questions to Ask to Truly Get to Know Someone

Physical Touch

The fifth and last love language is physical touch. As the name suggests, if your love language is touch, you feel loved through sharing and receiving affection through physical expressions.

Please note that when we talk about physical touch, we talk about appropriate and consensual physical interactions. Your intimacy should be based on the situation and the nature of your relationship with the other person.

For example, your partner’s love language may be physical touch. However, it does not directly indicate that touching them just to cheer them up is okay.

When showing physical intimacy, it is important to be aware of their active willingness and your own comfort in providing the same.

Physical touch might be your love language if:

You feel lonely or upset without physical affection from your partner(s).
You feel deeply loved and adored when your partner gives you random kisses or hugs.
You are naturally inclined towards physical expressions of affection and don’t shy away from public displays of affection (PDA).

Affection can be expressed through simple actions like hugging, massaging, or snuggling. In certain relationships, touch could mean intimate forms of contact, such as kissing or engaging in sexual activities.

Some ways to show love through physical touch include:

Greeting or saying goodbyes with a soft kiss on the cheek.
Being openly affectionate by hugging or holding hands.
Enjoying time cuddling in bed.
Offering comforting touches or holding your partner to help them recharge after a long day.

All and any sort of physical touch should be initiated with active and enthusiastic consent from your partner.

Thinking Beyond Different Love Languages

Love languages offer us a good framework for understanding love. However, the major criticism that the theory received by scholars has to do with cultural and geographical factors.

Cultural Influence on the Five Love Languages

Our cultural backgrounds and upbringings are deeply connected to the way we express and feel love.

Culture is a huge term that includes various elements, such as our beliefs, values, traditions, languages, and even art and history. Therefore, culture shapes how we see ourselves, interact with others, and how we respond to love.

To understand the influence of culture on love languages, let’s explore the concepts of individualism and collectivism in love.

Individualism versus Collectivism

On one hand, individualistic cultures are all about personal freedom, expressing yourself, and standing out as, well, an individual.

On the other hand, collectivistic cultures place more value on group harmony and the sense of being part of a community.

If you are from an individualistic culture, chances are you prefer straightforward conversations, honesty, and being open in your romantic chats. You are likely to use words of affirmation and quality time to show love.

However, in collectivistic cultures, people are usually more subtle about their emotional expressions. If you are from a collectivistic culture, you may prefer showing your love through actions (eg a hug or a shoulder to cry on) or doing something thoughtful for your partner (eg buying gifts).

For example, many Asian families have a collectivist culture and prefer subtle forms of expression over straightforward ones.

Geographical Influence on the Five Love Languages

Geography could also play a major role in our understanding of love.

Our geography could include where we are in the world – the climate, the landscape, what is around us, how many people are nearby, and whether we live in a city or countryside.

Two concepts that can help us further understand the geographical influence include proximity and environmental stress.

Proximity and Environmental Stress

Firstly, proximity is how close or far you are from someone. It is a huge factor in romantic relationships.

Being physically close could mean that you are likely to see each other more, get to know each other better, and feel more drawn to each other.

The closeness can be great for building intimacy, trust, and commitment.

However, being close all the time could also lead to more conflicts, feelings of boredom, or taking each other for granted.

Secondly, being in a long-distance relationship has its own set of challenges and advantages. Less frequent contact might make it hard to develop intimacy and trust. Yet, the distance can also keep the excitement alive, bring in new experiences, and help you appreciate each other more.

Another interesting aspect is environmental stress – how easy or tough life is due to our surroundings.

Living in a high-stress environment (eg extreme temperatures, large crowds, fast-paced city) could lead to negative emotions or feeling too emotional. These feelings can make romantic communication difficult and may sometimes even lead to arguments.

However, if you are in a more relaxed, low-stress environment, you could experience completely different feelings associated with your love languages.

For example, if your partner’s love language is quality time, yet they have a busy schedule – your surprise date could trigger a negative reaction instead of them feeling loved. The negative emotion may be related to work-related stress and burnout.

If you were to plan the same surprise date during a long vacation (eg Christmas holidays) when your partner is free, then they may feel genuinely loved.

Tips to Handle Cultural Differences

Below are some tips to help you understand and handle the diversity of love across cultures:

Get to know your partner’s cultural background, including values, beliefs, norms, and preferences. This insight will help you understand their love language, needs, and expectations.
Understand both your and your partner’s primary and secondary love languages. By focusing on multiple expressions of love, you can fulfil the overall needs of the relationship.
Learn about each other’s communication styles. Observe whether your partner is more inclined towards individualistic or collectivistic values, direct or indirect communication, and verbal or nonverbal forms of expression. Adapting your actions to these styles can help you respect and maintain personal boundaries and reduce conflicts.
Approach your partner’s culture and geography with an open mind, curiosity, respect, and empathy. An open-minded attitude will help you to value their uniqueness, gain from their viewpoints, and support them in their challenges.
Seek therapy to improve understanding and relationship dynamics.
Be flexible, adventurous, creative, and enjoy life with your partner in a way that makes both of you feel loved and appreciated!

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Takeaway

Understanding the five love languages can significantly improve relationships by helping individuals express and receive love in ways that resonate most with their partners.

Each person typically has one or two dominant love languages. Identifying these in yourself and your partner can lead to more meaningful and effective communication.

The 5 love languages are words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.

If you find it challenging to identify or express these languages, seeking therapy can offer personalised strategies and insights to deepen your connections. Reach out to a Therapist to explore how you can improve your relationships through the five love languages!